I don't own anything related to Fate/stay night, this is a work of parody.

Act One: The First Steps

He came to me, his stature straight and full of confidence. He earnestly wished to be let into this dark world of magic.

He could go anywhere he wants but he chooses this, I'm dragging him with me but at the same time, it feels nice to have him there...

He and the girl both are so familiar.

Reflections of a different time, when a boy and girl were running across the summer sands.

He asked me to teach him magic, that he was serious about it. He seemed almost a different person, passionate to the point of anger. He was probably emulating someone else but I could tell that he was actually resolved about this.

The fact is he doesn't know what he is getting himself into. I asked him if he was fine walking with death and he didn't bat an eye. He either doesn't take it seriously or worse, doesn't care.

I shouldn't teach him, that would be the right answer. It's a rule that being a magi and having a healthy family are mutually exclusive.

But I promised Shirou I would think about it, so I will. I'll give it a week and I'll let him down gently, that's what I should do. But I have a bad feeling about that as well….

When I look at Shirou, I can see the same look that I've seen in so many lost people. The type of look that makes me feel like if I do nothing he'll disappear on me. I gave him cooking and cleaning responsibilities, but that might not be enough.

Sometimes when I check on him, he's just staring off into space. It may be too late for me, but I refuse to believe the same is true for him.

'He needs something… a routine.'

Taiga went on about her kendo all day, that's what Shirou needs: A routine. Something to do each day, so that even if I were no longer there he could move on without me…

And he wants me to teach him, and out of all that I could teach magic may actually be one of the least dangerous.

'But to become his teacher now...' There's something I must do, I can't give him what he wants just yet.

I could teach him only a little bit and he would be happy. I can tell that he would probably not be able to become a magus anyway, not that I would want him to.

To be his teacher in magic... that's not a part-time idea. I can't do it now, but maybe one day. He'll have to wait for his answer.

"Hah" I exhale into the nippy spring air, the stars are so beautiful in the night here. I'm sitting on the porch, I feel so old. But there's work to be done, leave the boy ready to live in a hard world and save the princess from the lonely castle.

If only the latter was so simple, I can't leave before Shirou is fine but the longer I wait the harder it will be to find Ilya. I will go as soon as I can.

My last cigarette burns out and I stand my body up, my bones creak from simple movements. Tired legs move me to bed.

The stars may be too far away for me but he's right there, waiting for me.

'But I can't just let go... can't something go my way for once.'

I hold no delusion that anyone is listening.

Dad said he wanted a week, he said he would give his definitive answer. In the end though, it didn't work out as he promised...

Two years would pass before it was brought up again...

He probably forgot, but he said ai couldn't ask about it either, so in the end, I didn't expect him to ever give it to me.

I never forgot about it, and I never stopped admiring Dad. If anything I was finding out more and more about Kiritsugu that I needed to catch up on.

I promised not to ask anymore, If he decided to not teach me magic... then I'll just have to figure out some other method of getting to that level...

Not that I had time to brood about it, it was a busy two years. Many things changed and many things stayed the same.

Taiga came and played with me all the time. Mostly just running at me with her Shinai trying to hit me. She was getting really good with it, at least justifying the fact that she always carried that shinai everywhere. To her dismay, people started to know her by the title of "the tiger of Fuyuki", she's the one who dresses like that, I don't know why she's surprised.

She fills the silences between us, she is at this point someone indistinguishable from a big sister. Though, I have an idea why she's so attached to me, considering that she has even called the house and begged me to make her lunch and walk all the way to the school to give it to her.

It was a new life, what I had before this was so far away that it may have well been a completely different person. To point that my birthday changed.

Taiga brought the subject up in late fall when she asked when I was turning eight and I had no answer.

A week later she brought over her friends and gave me my first, err, eighth birthday. October twentieth was definitely not my actual birthdate but Fuji-nee definitely made me feel like it was.

Dad wasn't there, he was busy running around the world. That was another development in itself.

The sudden news that he was going traveling was initially a shock, but it seemed like something he would do. Over time, his going on sudden long trips to Europe became a normal part of the schedule.

He said he needed to brush up his English for Taiga's tutoring, that was the first reason. I think he's just having too much fun exploring the world. Taiga said he probably has a second family he's not telling us about, I'm not sure about that.

It was strange but exciting, he wouldn't come back with any souvenirs but stories. I loved those stories though, Taiga and I both were entranced with the idea of these faraway places. I swore that I would travel too like that one day.

I was his son, but he wasn't really like a father. More and older brother if anything, running off on adventures using the house as his home base.

I didn't have really any friends my own age. I had Dad and Fuji-nee, I didn't need them. School was just a distraction from being home playing with Fuji-nee or Dad when he was around.

I did go to the park where I had once lived fairly often. I found the place kinda nice almost, that smell of ash had long since become almost comfortable, it reminded me of Dad and Irisviel.

I never did see Iri-san since the first time, I felt bad... She rooted me on when I asked dad to teach me, and I failed her. She must think I'm so weak.

I still had vivid dreams but it was slowly getting less often, I didn't get woken up by Taiga because I was yelling in my sleep anymore.

Sometimes I was back in that fire, but there were times I was given a break. from it

Sometimes I saw a sword, a beautiful golden double-edged sword that, even in a dream, seemed to clearly shine. It was immersed in a great black miasma, but it lost no luster. If anything it shone through it unaffected.

When I first saw those other dreams I was confused, I saw things, not from myself, but I didn't question it anymore. I don't mind those stories taking the place of that red world, no matter what they are.

Things changed but that made time only goes by faster, the whole world still felt new and interesting and I was happy to explore what I could. I wanted to do everything I could to get ready so I could one day catch up to Dad.

In the end, I was given what I wanted suddenly on a cold spring night almost two years to the day I had asked for it.

Dad had returned from a particularly long time away, the longest he had ever left for. Hed left without much explanation and returned three weeks later. When he came home he looked... not well, even to a child's eye, he seemed like he had aged years while he was away.

That night he had come home, Dad and I sat on the porch next to each other. It was a usual custom after he came home from traveling. He would sip tea and smoke while would I sit listening to his newest tale. Taiga would commonly be there but she was fast asleep already in one of the guest rooms.

"How was Germany this time? You didn't get lost again did you?" He came back a week after he originally said he would.

"It was fine..." He looked up at the starry sky, he was different. Ever since he came back he had been quiet, even when we told him Taiga had won her recent kendo competition he barely reacted.

"Dad... did something... happen." I mustered the courage to ask.

"No, thank you for asking, I'm just thinking."

"About what?" the natural question left my mouth before I thought about it.

A long silence held for a long time after that.

When he spoke he did with a hand holding my shoulder.

"Shirou... How would feel if I taught you magic?" I was surprised, Dad wasn't really the type to hug or even touch, and now he was giving me what I had secretly hoped for.

"Well... I'd like that, Dad." He even smiled in response but there a hint of sadness in it.

"Then there's no point in delaying anymore, I'll be your teacher from now on."

I looked at him with wide eyes, the man who was a real sorcerer would take me as his apprentice.

"What I will teach you will bring you is why you must not use it in front of people, and you must not cease your practice even though it is difficult to learn..."

Each lesson etched itself into my mind, I swore never to forget.

"...Well, I don't really care if you break that one. The most important thing is that magic is something you use not for yourself, but for others. If you do that, you may become a magic user, but you will not become a magus."

"You must first have a healthy body before you can unlock your full potential. Every morning you will stretch and work on your muscles, if you cannot do this then you won't have any chance of pulling off magic."

"Right." I'm running around all day anyway.

"A routine falls apart if you start taking days off, If you want a break then that means you should quit trying entirely."

"Okay." I won't back down, no matter what.

"Alright Shirou, tomorrow morning is our first session." awww...

"Can't we start now?" Unconsciously, my eyes tremble and I make a begging face.

"No...I'm tired, it's best to do it when you wake up. Magic is dangerous when you are tired." He strikes down my attempt not even bat an eye at my begging face.

"Fine." I was really happy though, a smile crept onto my face.

"Meet me in the dojo first thing tomorrow."

"All right, will you teach Taiga too?" I made him sigh.

"Absolutely not Shirou, teaching someone like her can only end poorly." he said with a bitter tone.

"Now, it's bedtime for you. Remember what I told you."

"Alright." I'm giddy for tomorrow.

It takes me an hour to fall asleep as I imagine the amazing thing that Dad will show me. I'm so excited that I don't even think of what I will dream.

Whirlpool of Fate 2 (Music) /watch?v=3wXmgL-CuY0

The red world that awaits me in the black is one I'm accustomed to but will never be comfortable with. I don't see it, but I can feel it, the fire is right there and my body is hot, so hot that I shouldn't have lived.

People died saving others, some were saved only to be pulled back into the inferno. I lived for no understandable reason, reason had no play in it.

I shouldn't have survived, everything I am understands that. Yet I'm still here, I was given life from an extraordinary source.

The burning swells to the point that thought is impossible. This is a dream, I can always tell when I'm in a dream. But I am also on fire, that is a fact.

Before I'm burned away, I feel a coolness envelop my body, an embrace. It's warm but not scalding, comparably cool and calming.

I should be gone, I should be ash, I shouldn't be alive. But yet I am, I am held together by that embrace. Losing it would mean becoming cracked into a thousand pieces.

'But what is it that is protecting me?'

I open my eyes and see not the man with the unkempt hair, but someone vaguely familiar. crimson eyes and Snow-white hair.

"Irisviel..."

"Huh?, Nah it's big sis." Huh?

(Music Stop)

My muscles shoot up in surprise and I wake. White hair was replaced with light brown, Fuji-nee was there not Iri-san.

'Why would I see her?'

My body was sweaty and my head burning up. My heart slowed down from its fast speed.

"Shirou... are you alright?" Fuji-nee is the one here.

"..." She can tell, there no point in lying but I can't speak up.

"Shirou, you were yelling in your sleep... " She was not like her usual self, caring would be the best word.

"I thought... you were getting better... I'm so sorry I didn't notice!" She tried to hug me but since I was lying in the futon it was awkward.

"..." It's not the first time she wakes me up like this.

"I don't know what to say..."

"it's fine, there's nothing I can do about it."

"There is something I can do, I'll be there for you, whenever Kiritsugu is gone. Me and Grandfather will look after you..."

"It's fine, there's No-" she interrupts me mid-sentence.

"This is not up for debate Shirou, how can I be your onee-chan if let you be all alone."

If there's one thing about Taiga I've come to understand, it is that when she's serious about something she always gets her way.

"If you put it like that... fine, I'll be in your care from now on Fuji-nee." It's not like she wasn't already looking after me, hit not she had promised it.

'Now that I'm awake... wasn't there something I had to do?... ah, the dojo!'

Troublemakers (Music) /watch?v=3ZYt_AZBcLU

"Uhh Fuji-nee, Dad's waiting for me in the dojo, I gotta go!" I try to get up but her grasp keeps me from escaping. Her power as a sixteen-year-old far exceeds my own.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you? Kiritsugu always sleeps in after coming back from a trip. Ahhhhhh, speaking of sleep..." yawning, she promptly fell on top of me and began snoring.

It's one of her techniques, she's not necessarily asleep but any attempt to rouse her will be met with an angry tiger.

There's no way out of this...

I spend the next hour thinking up methods of escape but each is too risky.

When Dad finally shows up at the sliding door, he was surprised that I was late but completely unsurprised by the reason.

"Taiga-chan, I know you're tired but why don't you sleep next to Shirou rather than on him." He didn't even seem surprised that she was the one blocking my escape, nor that she was with me on my bed.

"Shirou, you have it tough in your own way, don't you? But strength is some formed out of adversity, consider this your first challenge as my student: meat me in the dojo in five minutes without angering this sleeping tiger and I'll forgive your tardiness."

"Wait, dad..." My pleas fall on dead ears as he leaves the room. I'm dehydrated so my voice is coarse.

I'm left here with the larger Taiga basically on top of me holding me tight in her grasp. But Dad is right, if I can't overcome this obstacle then I'm not worthy of his teachings!

I don't have the strength to push her off, nor am I foolish enough to believe I could persuade her by waking her up. She gets in a very bad mood if you wake her up too early.

She is a tiger, how can I beat that?

Wasn't there a greek hero who fought a tiger or something...

'hmmm' that may be it.

Her single greatest strength may also be my only opportunity. Her size. I begin to slither out of her grasp, moving my body down the futon. For a second my face is stuck in her bosom, I don't even know what purpose those things even serve.

I push far enough that my face in her stomach but there's no more space that way, I begin to slowly turn my body, trying to slither from her clutches. I pull my hands slowly free and flip onto my stomach, seeing the contents and oblivious Taiga holding a pillow in her arms. I break out and am able to get my feet, silently escaping from my own room that has been made in her temporary den.

I run to the dojo as fast I can and arrive about four minutes after Dad challenged me.

When I arrive in the dojo, my body is almost fully drenched in sweet stinking to my pajamas. Dad is sitting on the mat, but not in the traditional manner.

"So you made it then, don't worry, I wouldn't have stopped this even if you took too long. That tiger is the type to cause problems like that."

He motioned me to sit beside him. "Let us begin then."

(Music Stop)

Stretching his arms back he says, "Shirou, the first important step is to learn discipline, in this case, physical discipline."

"So... exercise?"

"Exactly Shirou, as we discussed yesterday. It may be that you are deficient in the ability for magic but if you try with an unhealthy body you will certainly fail."

"I see." I was still growing up, compared to dad or even Fuji-nee, I was tiny.

"Good, now let's start."

"I'm a bit sweaty..."

"That's fine, your going to get even sweatier soon. You and Taiga can take a bath together after."

"I think we're a little old for that Dad."

"Alright Shirou, prepare yourself..." he threw a shinai into my hands.

"Uhh, what is this for?"

"Magic Training of course, even a magus cannot neglect to train their body.

In fact, one of the requirements for a magus is to have excellent physical abilities."

What followed was thirty minutes of Dad and I fighting. In action, all it really was was me getting hit over and over and trying to block.

It was fun though, my entirety had to move together just to survive, having him teach me was what I wanted from the start. And we hadn't even gotten to magic yet.

I never gave up, despite being hit on the side a decent number of times and having hit Dad zero times. Eventually, Dad stopped.

"You did well Shirou, stay on this path for a few years and you'll be even stronger than me."

"Really?" I'm so much smaller than him...

As if to read my thoughts he responded, "You won't always be like this Shirou, sooner than you think you will be all grown up."

"I can't wait for that!" It makes me excited about all the things I can do as a grown-up.

Shaking his head lightly, "It may not be all that you think it will be. what is it you want to be when you're older anyway?"

'What do I want to be... well, I want to be like you.'

What does Kiritsugu do anyway?

"I think, I don't know... I want to be like you." If I could save someone one day...

"... I see, and what is it you see me as?"

"You're a superhero." It might make me strange but I wasn't embarrassed to say it, he really was a hero to me.

"…Hmm, I see... and what does that mean to you?" his voice was soft.

"well... I guess... I'm gonna go around saving people, just like you." That's how I saw it, he saved me so I should go save others too when I grew up.

"If only it were so simple, saving someone means not saving someone else. A superhero is really selfish, huh…?" I don't understand...

"I would just save everyone..." I whispered to myself.

"Okay Shirou, let's get back to it." So we started doing pull-ups, I imagine it was a funny scene. The small boy desperately trying to keep pace with the workout of the fully grown adult.

When we both became completely exhausted, Dad stopped the workout and we sat next to each other on the mat.

"Listen, Shirou. To learn magic is to stray away from common sense. You die when you die and you kill when you must.

Our essence is not in life but in death. Magic is only a method to destroy yourself."

"Alright." Even so... I wasn't afraid.

"Hmm, if you understand that then it is time for you to start your journey." He placed his hand on my back and it spread heat through my body, my hairs jumped up all over.

"The first step of a magus is to accept death," Kiritsugu said so sadly.

I felt that he didn't really want me to accept that.

"Now Shirou, you want me to teach you magecraft and I have agreed but ultimately you will be the one who will have to figure it out yourself."

"Huh?" I could feel a warmth spreading from his hand, like a sunburn.

"Hmm how can I put this... a person's magic is unique, you should perform the magic that can align with the attributes within you. The greatest magic a person had is the one that can draw out their origin."

"I see..." I had no clue what that meant.

"Exercise is paramount as it opens up your body to change. You will have to work harder than a true magus would."

The heat on my back was pulsing, it was like a bad sunburn. I clenched my teeth and fought through the pain, I won't let dad worry about me.

"You might feel a little pain, but it's needed to see If you have the potential for magic in you."

"It's fine." I try to play it off, it's true that I was used to pain.

Dad was silent for ten minutes while the heat spread through my back, I took deep breaths and fought through the sensation.

"Alright, I'm done..." He rubbed the back of his head and for some reason made an embarrassed smile. Unconsciously I emulated the same action in response.

"Well, you definitely have the potential for some certain magic, that's all I could really tell. Compared to the people in the Association, I'm not so good at this sort of stuff."

"Association, what does that mean?"

"They are Magus's of the world Well, they formed a... group called the Magus Association. But we're not a part of it, they are bad people."

"They are?"

"As I told you yesterday night, magic should be used for other's sake not your own, but that opinion is non-existent to Magus association. They only care for themselves and their research. That's why I like to be more of a magic-user rather than a magus."

'The only other magus I ever met was Irisviel, she seemed ok to me.' I thought.

'But I must do this, even if it's dangerous."

"First we'll aim for a single spell. It may take some time for you to pull it off but once you do it once you'll get the hang of it."

"Alright."

"Now close your eyes and calm yourself, think of something nice."

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. What I thought was something that felt familiar, something I could only see in those times I was empty of thought.

A sword, a beautiful golden sword immersed in a black miasma.

My training is only just beginning, the truth is that I didn't really care about becoming a magus. But if knowing magic will let me be like Dad, then it's worth any risk or sacrifice.

The two months after that first time flew by, with a new routine that filled up the whole day. Fighting and magic in the morning with Dad. Helping Taiga with her kendo in the day, by acting as a moving dummy for her attacks, and finally making dinner for the three of us at night.

I was at the start of a long journey, but I was glad that I was making some progress. I could avoid Fuji-nee's attacks for about six seconds, up from the three seconds in the beginning. She was seriously skilled at kendo, to the point that others refused to train with her out of fear.

I had unilaterally surpassed both Taiga and Dad as a cook, but that is saying nothing because I was better than they were from the beginning... I started to understand how to make more than just simple meals.

Most notably, Dad had taken me on as his apprentice in magic. That first day I failed, That didn't suddenly change, but each day I was becoming further and further in the process.

Entire lessons were spent with my eyes closed focusing on the visualization of the creation of an artificial circuit. Indeed, it took me a while but I was able to figure out how to create a circuit in my body

Dad said that since he could not give me his 'magic crest', I would have to find my own way to create my own magic.

I don't know what a magic crest even is. Apparently, it can only be passed to someone with the same blood. That leaves me with this one method, with which he gives me the same instructions over and over.

He just repeats, "Activate the circuit inside yourself, fill it with prana from the air, then pour that into the stick and reinforce its properties." It doesn't really help when activating a single circuit requires so much effort.

He says the same thing, but I guess that what discipline is all about. I've actually gotten pretty good at starting the process, I imagine a trigger being pulled in my mind, that has come to represent the start of the change.

Reinforcement was the magic dad said I should focus on, he said it was easy and that it was the most useful one that I could do. I could also do... projection I think it's called, and another one but I forgot the name. Anyway, dad said that the other types were either too dangerous or not very useful at all, he probably right about that.

Projection just litters the shed with junk anyway.

Magi must all be very strong people with all the pain involved in magecraft, so I don't have the right to complain about my poor progress. My suffering is small compared to theirs. That is the price I must pay, the path of the magus is one that walks with death. If that's where I need to go to catch up then I'm more than willing.

That brings us to this summer morning, as I prepare for another attempt at the process, the cicadas song plays in the background. This time I'm going to show Sad that I can do it, I'll reinforce successfully. Dad said if I can do it once then it will be easier each time after that.

I had failed to the point that he said he'd tell me some interesting things about the world if I could do it. I really wanted it now, Dad's stories about the world were so cool.

"Alright Shirou, you know the steps. I'm here with you, clear your mind, and begin the spell."

Whirlpool of Fate 2 (Music) /watch?v=3wXmgL-CuY0

I stretch out and adjust my breathing.

I try to empty my mind.

I ignore everything around me and pay attention only to what is inside me.

The dojo is quiet, my deep breathing the only sound left.

"Trace, on." As if to hypnotize myself, I murmur the spell I'm becoming accustomed to.

No, I really am hypnotizing myself.

…Normally, there are no lines in a human body to allow the passage of magical energy. To artificially change my body to create such a line, I need enough concentration to unify my whole body and every nerve within it.

Magic is a battle with yourself. For instance, at this very moment, I am inserting a burning steel rod into my backbone. This metal rod is the only "Magic Circuit" I can prepare for myself.

When I insert it this deep into my body and connect it to the other nerves, I can finally become a magus, or at least close to.

Something like a burning tong that cannot be seen or felt is being inserted into my backbone.

I can't help but think in this state, even though I shouldn't be. There's been something bothering me lately, something I feel like I'm forgetting...

I've been so focused on Kiritsugu and magic these last few months. What else is there that be?

Though the dreams have been becoming weirdly specific recently... a specific person is showing up every time...

'Irisviel... white hair and red eyes, I met her a single time and yet she lingers on my thoughts... wait for a second, I promised her... wasn't I supposed to do something?.'

"...!" I'm thinking needlessly. I feel the iron rod in my backbone slide into place.

"Uh, gah…!"

If I lose control of my breathing now, it would be a fatal mistake.

The artificial Magic Circuit will eat away my body and destroy it. If that happens, I'll die.

"Calm yourself Shirou, forging the connection requires patience." I'm still an amateur but with Dad here he helps me with the process, I don't know how I can succeed when he's not around.

I grind my teeth and resume the connection. After a battle like walking on needles, the iron rod finally arrives deep within me and fuses with my body.

This process takes about an hour.

After that much time, I'm finally able to make one artificial circuit… one circuit that produces magical energy.

A real magus must be a lot better than that, but I admire Kiritsugu, not Magi.

So there's only one magic possible.

Which is…

"Composition, analyze."

Strengthening objects.

It is a magic of "strengthening" that reinforces the object's abilities by understanding the object's structure and channeling magical energy into it.

"Basic structure, alter."

Before me is a metal pipe.

I will channel magical energy into it, perform the simplest magic, and reinforce its durability.

Basically, channeling your magical energy into something other than yourself is like pouring poison into that object.

It is just as the blood of Emiya Shirou is not the blood of the metal pipe. Pumping different blood only accelerates its breakdown, it certainly wouldn't strengthen it.

To prevent that and to turn the poison into a tonic, one must completely understand the structure of the target and channel the magical energy into small open spaces. Then the weakest links can be filled in directly by my blood.

"…Composition, reinforce."

…It must be easy for a skilled magus, but for me, who cannot even create sufficient magical energy, it's like trying to throw a needle into a hole that is the exact same size forty meters away.

"Guh...!".

The heat flares and I feel some reverberate through my spine. My body shakes as it almost sounds like metal scraping metal within me. That can't be it though...

"Haaa... haaaa... haaaaa..." My back arches as it feels like lightning shooting through my bones.

"Shirou, are you alright!?" Dad holds me up, stopping me from outright falling onto my back.

"Ah… I failed again…" I'm so sick of it, that was reckless of me. I was a second from impaling myself.

"No... you're wrong, look Shirou." I craned my stiff neck toward what he was pointing to and saw it...

The metal pipe glowed for a few seconds but it fizzled out quickly. I had barely succeeded with the cost of nearly destroying my body.

"Ahh... ahhh..."

My breath started to come down as I felt calm for once after trying the spell. I had actually succeeded...

"That was reckless Shirou, you should know by now that a single mistake could mean your death. It's not unheard of, even amongst magi for someone to die due to underestimating the concentration of a simple spell."

"I know that..." He smiles sadly.

"Sometimes I think you accept that far too readily..." he mumbles in response, I don't quite catch what he said.

I knew that Dad wasn't the most knowledgeable about magic, but whenever he told me something in that teaching tone of voice, I knew I'd never forgotten it.

"..."

I wipe the sweat off my brow

Now that I think about it, I realize my whole body is sweating like I've been drenched with a bucket of water.

…But I'm lucky it just ended like this. That was really bad. If I'd taken a second longer to recover myself, I would probably have destroyed most of my body.

"Is it that the closer I come to death, the more I will improve?" Maybe I just need to push myself more...

"Absolutely not Shirou, Magic is not so easy to reward reckless effort. But, indeed, you can not improve your magic if you're scared of death." I knew it wouldn't be that easy...

"Then can you explain it again... I keep messing it up."

"Strengthening doesn't just harden an object, it also improves the effect of an object. A sword would become sharper, for example. Transformation, the second part of reinforcement is a little trickier. That which attaches abilities beyond the normal effects is called transformation." I try and commit it to memory, again as it's not the first time I've heard his explanation.

I rub my temples as my head feels a little dizzy after that close call, now all this information is making my head spin.

"I know it's difficult, take a break Shirou."

"..." I nod.

When I'm frustrated like this I usually turn to projection, it's just so much easier for me.

After inserting the circuit again, much faster as I feel more prepared this time, I move right into the steps of projection.

As I see it, Reinforcement Is simpler but that one step is much more difficult than projection is.

"Isn't there some use for projection Dad? It's so much easier..."

"Look Shirou, you're in... fourth grade, you know your math right? something made with 'projection' disappears quickly.

Comparing a 'projected' sword made with ten magical energy and a 'strengthened' sword with one magical energy, the 'strengthened' one is stronger.

You only need to work on something that's already there, so strengthening is more efficient. So projection is just now worth pursuing."

"Right..."

"Yeah..." I nod my head with the product of my projection in my hand.

"What about curses then?" apparently I had an affinity for that sort of magic too, dad just wouldn't teach me it.

"You have no need for it Shirou. What use does a curse have other than destruction? The answer is none. You might say that you would use it to smite a bad person, but the power of a curse can not be regulated easily. A strong Magus would have a problem not killing someone with a curse. I'm not the best at that sort of magic."

"I don't think I could teach you that without you killing us both by mistake. I want you to master Reinforcement, don't think about all the rest."

"Okay." I place the projected bowl down next to me, another piece of junk for the shed I guess...

(Music Stop)

"That's enough for today, I need to teach Taiga for a bit," Kiritsugu said as looking at the clock on the wall.

"About that Dad... Fuji-nee... well, she complained to me that you only speaking English to her was hard to follow..."

"How else is she going to learn then, hmm, maybe you should join us then. I'm sure she'll shape up once she sees you start catching up to her." Me? I don't know...

"Well... I'm already busy with the magic, I don't have do I?"

"No, it's alright, just a little suggestion. You never know Shirou, English is a requirement if you want to travel to many places one day. You'll be learning it in a school soon anyway, might as well get ahead." Dad rarely offered anything like this, I think he really just wanted to get me to handle Taiga for him.

"Maybe." Probably not though...

"Just think about it, I don't want to push you hard either."

"Well, I'm going to go on a walk." When Dad and Taiga are busy, there is not much else to be done.

"Just don't go anywhere dangerous."

"Okay! See ya!" I went back to my room and changed into clothes that weren't completely sweated in and started walking.

Was it stranger that I wasn't afraid of walking across the city completely alone, or the fact that Kiritsugu didn't seem to worry about it?

The only reason I know that it's abnormal is that Fuji-nee freaks out if I'm not home early enough. The fix, of course, is to make sure I'm home before she starts mewling.

Kiritsugu hadn't gone on a trip since he started training me, I'm happy I'm spending so much time with him but I'm used to having some time alone.

Naturally, I drift towards that certain place, a general feeling of uneasiness drawing me there. The park changed quite a bit during the last two years, for one, they finally finished it.

I heard from some kids at school that it was so slow because the construction workers were still finding remains in the rubble. From then on none of the other kids came around here, but I visited daily often.

Few families come here and no children willingly play here. It's by far the largest park in the entirety of Fuyuki but it's empty, both of people and something else.

There is an invisible emptiness here, one that I think I understand. Many families once lived here, they were all taken by the flame. It's only natural that the land would be hurt as well.

I lived here once, my memories were small but I knew much simply by Instinct. I didn't come here to pay respects or mourn my family, I don't even know who they were. But I'm drawn here nonetheless.

It's summer, yet the trees that were planted barely bloom. The air is quiet, even the cicadas don't bother to come here.

'Why am I here though?.'

I don't believe I've ever come here willingly before now. I end up here because of muscle memory, I come home and I walk the halls of a home that exists only in my mind.

A bench placed on the path, a woman sat cross-legged with a smile.

"ahh, I see..."

It wasn't this place I wanted to see, but someone that may be here.q

The sun shone in the sky, but her white hair didn't shine as it should. There is no mistaking who this is, I doubt there is anyone like her in all of Japan.

Reunion (Music) /watch?v=efpGRmC85j4 =1s

"Iri-san..." Before I know it, I'd walked right up in front of her. My mouth open, I stared at her dumbly.

"You certainly took your time." Her eyes seemed to she narrowed her eyes at me.

The chills that ran across my back broke me out of my confused state,

"Oh, uh, sorry..." It felt like I was forced into a slight bow from the force of her started alone.

When I looked back up she had softened to a face that was almost welcoming,

"I forgive you, it's not your fault Kiritsugu is the way he is."

"What do you mean?"

"What? did you forget our little promise? Well... you are young I suppose."

'A promise... ahhh!, we did promise to see each other again!"

"I promised to come here again, you said that you would..."

"Help you with your magic, didn't I? Yes, though if I had known that it would have taken two years for it comes I would have not made it."

"Why?"

"Well, you were so energetic back then, I couldn't help myself to see the fruition of that effort." When she pats the side of the bench next to her I realized I was still standing.

I sat down, I didn't want to impolite to her.

"Of course it didn't end how you wanted but in the end, you got what you wanted and kept your promise, even if you were slow about it."

"Now Shirou, do you know why Kiritsugu decided to teach you now, after all this time?" She didn't use an honorific, but Kiritsugu didn't either so I was used to it.

"I don't know... he was on a long trip and decided to teach me."

"I see... that's how it is then. And what happened on this trip?"

"I don't know, he didn't say anything about."

"I don't know... I'm not old enough for this." I felt under pressure, my mind confused as to what to do.

"None of that Shirou, You don't see Kiritsugu complaining about every little thing."

"I don't know if I can trust you, Kiritsugu... Dad said that Magi are bad people."

"And he told you about being a magic-user, didn't he? Honestly... he is hopeless. I know you look up to him but don't just blindly accept everything he says." She pats my shoulder as a teacher might.

"Uhh... So... Magus's are not bad then?"

"Oh, he's right in that case. Magus's can only be trusted to the point that it serves their own interests... " The face I made easily communicated that I still didn't understand.

"...It's like a bully in the playground, you can try and negotiate with them into stopping but the second they think they can get away with it they turn on you, understand?"

"Yeah, I see now... I shouldn't trust you then."

"Haha, you have a flare in you to say something like that to me of all people. But Shirou, when did I ever say I was a magus?"

"I think you... did." I didn't really remember that well.

"Shirou... I know magic, but I doubt I count as a magus anymore. I have much more... grounded goals in mind." there it was... the smile that I saw in my dreams, that's what it was all this time...

"I have a proposition for you Shirou, a very important mission that will help out your Father and I a great deal."

"Help... Kiritsugu..." So far this was the greatest thing I've heard in my life, not only would help someone, which was basically being a hero. But that person would be Kiritsugu, the man I admired most.

She could read my giddiness on my face,

"I see you seem interested. You see, I am stuck somewhere I can't get out from. And the only person that can get me out is you Shirou."

"Something... only I can do?"

"Yes Shirou, you want to be a hero when you grow up don't you? Why don't you start with me?"

"How would helping you help Kiritsugu?" I would help her no matter what but I was hung up on that one idea.

"Kiritsugu's been a bit sad lately, hasn't he? Remember what I told you before, how I was going to surprise him myself?"

I nodded, I had never told Dad about her because of that.

"Kiritsugu will be very happy at my return, he may feel confused and angry at first but when he comes around he'll be very grateful, especially to you Shirou." I would have probably agreed to anything after she said that.

"I'll do it, I swear that I will succeed." I promised silently to never give up on this.

"Very good Shirou, you are proving to be very worthy as my choice." weirdly, a sense of pride filled my chest when I heard her strange compliment.

"And don't think that you won't be rewarded yourself."

"There's no need... a hero needs no reward." I quoted a superhero from a manga I read once.

She sighed at that,

"ahhh, Shirou being selfless like that only worries everyone around you, when someone offers you a reward you take it."

"Oh, uhh... then I will accept then." I see, I didn't know really what hero was supposed to do.

"I'll train you in magic, If I know Kiritsugu then I will probably have to start from the beginning..." I can't do that.

"But Dad said that I didn't really need knowledge of magic."

"Shirou, when you're father said that he was probably right. You don't have the potential to be a real magus, no, you're potential goes far beyond that. I won't lie, the path will be painful but your success will make you a real hero."

"It's unavoidable, unfortunately, you'll have to work harder than you are now. It won't be easy, I won't be a forgiving of a teacher but together we'll find a way to get me out of this predicament."

She spoke happily about the pain that I would have to endure.

'All I know are really basic stuff, how am I supposed to live up to these expectations?'

Even so, "If I can do something for Dad... and for you, then I won't back down from it no matter what."

She smiled a wide and wicked smile,

"Ohh, you are so beautiful Shirou. Seeing you like this at such a young age, you will grow into quite the man I think."

Her eyes betrayed a hunger that I couldn't understand.

That smile again, I feel like sometimes I see it in the corner of my eye. She is so familiar to me, but we've only met twice now. How are we connected?

"Can I ask one question?" I mustered the courage to speak up like Kiritsugu would do.

"Hmm, I'll permit it. Remember, I'm on your side Shirou, you can doubt everything but that."

"Okay... well... How do you know Dad?" Who is she really?

"Kiritsugu didn't say anything about me, though I didn't think he would... Well Shirou, I'm Kiritsugu's wife."

"Wow..." I said out of reflex.

'Wait...HUH?!'

"You are Kiritsugu's wife?!" I've never heard of this!

"You're confused? Kiritsugu never mentioned me, not even once?"

"I never thought Dad had any family. He never said anything..." why wouldn't he tell me about her?

"How do I know you're not just lying?." I crossed my arms and tried to scowl at her but she laughed at my attempt at intimidation.

"Haha, You have a cute little face." I could do nothing as she pulled on my cheeks, something I'm used to due to taiga but still... it's embarrassing.

"Shirou, you can doubt anything you want in your life, but never doubt that I love Kiritsugu and that I have both your and his best interests in mind." Her sudden seriousness making her claims undeniable.

"Well... okay, I believe you then."

(Music stop)

"Wait a second, if you are the wife of Kiritsugu..." I trailed off into thought.

'And Kiritsugu is my father then...'

"Are you..." does that make her...

"What is it Shirou? no need to hold back anything from me..."

"Are you... does that mean..." Was it strange that I was so accepting of it? There had always been something I was missing, someone I had wished for deeply in my heart but given up on ever having back.

"It's impolite to mumble." But it's embarrassing...

Into the night (Music) /watch?v=sIpEoGboois

"You are... my mother?" A breathless whisper carries a faint hope through the hot air. In any other place, it would never have been heard, but the silence of the park allows its message to be sent.

"I see... that is what you want Isn't it?" A selfish wish, something I shouldn't have, perhaps the only one that could bring out these feelings in me.

My throat tightened, embarrassment demanding an escape from this situation, I didn't want to know the answer. I don't know why but a part of me was desperate for her to accept.

A part of me that only existed in how I felt wanted it desperately, a comfort that I didn't even realize I was missing until now. I was near the point of running away when she wrapped her arm around my back.

All in one motion I feel myself losing all sense of weight and find my head placed in her lap.

She stroked my hair softly like mom used to, I remembered the feeling but not the memory itself.

"Shhh, It's alright Shirou, I'll take care of you as well as I can. Kiritsugu has made many mistakes but adopting you was most certainly not one of them."

Her smile was soft, it was a good smile, a kind smile. It did not seem like what I had come to expect from her, it had no imperfection holding it back.

"I'll take responsibility then, from now on you are my son and I am your mother. It's our job to bring this family together, it may not be what any of us had dreamed of but I'm done letting fate come between us."

Crackkk.

A split formed inside my spirit, bringing out sensations long neglected.

I bawled in Irisviel's lap like I was a toddler. I couldn't recall having ever cried like this, certainly, tears fell from the pain of the magic circuit and when I awoke from dreaming, but this was different.

Young creatures survive by seeking the protection of the strong. It's not so outrageous for someone lacking familial affection to cling to any possible source of it. I was happy, I had suddenly gained the missing link in my heart.

Even so, I couldn't lose the feeling that I had just become the infatuation of something foul.

Author's notes

Here is the next chapter, took some more time. It's been finals season so I've been very busy, not a lot of time to write but it's very soon going to be over which is nice.

This chapter underwent a lot of rewriting until I was satisfied, in the Vn it is said that Kiritsugu started teaching 2 years after adopting Sirou so I think a time skip is natural there, A nine and a half Shirou is a little easier to write than a seven-year-old one too. The next chapter is about Katerina and her with the Edelfelts turn out. After that, we will see Iri training Shirou and the start of her plot.

As always, reviews are welcome, I try my best but two eyes catch more than I can by reading my own work.