I don't know how long I was sitting at that conference room table, looking out of the window, not saying a word and just watching clouds. This was a lot and not at all what I had expected. Not that I had expected anything. I hadn't even been sure why a RangeMan lawyer wanted to see me.
I guess…Ranger had a plan. A plan for the case that at one point in time something would go wrong and he wouldn't return from one of his missions. Which had always technically been a possibility. I didn't know much in regards of the missions he went on but I knew they weren't your standard military operations for which you could just sent anyone in. The few remarks Ranger had made offhand and probably unintended had told me enough that the possibility of him not returning from one of his ops was highly likely at some point.
But…it was never an option, never really a possibility that seemed real. Ranger was a man that lived a disciplined and strict life. He had knowledge and skills and most likely always a plan for any situation. I had little idea about military, operations and the sort of skills it required to make it out of one of these alive, but I knew that Ranger was among the best men the military had. The amount of missions he was requested for and the fact that all his men had mentioned several times how good he was and some of them even having served with him at one point spoke louder than most words.
Despite the fact that my opinion might have been just biased and that I really had no real and good-founded knowledge about it, or experiences in that regards, I knew Ranger wasn't just good at what he did. Everything he always did was a job based on precision, knowledge and skill, so it was hard to imagine that despite the chances and risks he had finally found that one mission that was just…too much. The mission that made him pay the ultimate price. And even there he had a plan. A plan I would have appreciated if he'd let me in on it. Because then I could have told him that despite how good he seemed at everything – this was not his best idea. As a matter of fact, putting me in charge of everything could quite possibly be his worst one ever.
"Are you okay, Stephanie?" Hal next to me asked concerned.
"Why out of every possibility in regards of options – like any of you guys for example – did he choose for me to …to…"
"…to run the show?" Cal offered to finish my sentence which might have amused me for a second.
"Exactly," I agreed and he laughed with me. "I… I know nothing about this company, about how to run it. I… have no clue what to tell you, what to do or what is required. Ranger seems to think because we were close that I'm able to magically pull this off and be the … the Wonder Woman he keeps on insisting I am. Because let me tell you, I am not."
"I can't tell you what he was thinking, Stephanie. In all fairness I don't think anyone of us can. But Ranger is - and was – a guy who always seemed to know what he was doing and what worked. I am certain that there is reason behind what you seem to think is his madness."
Instead of a reply you nodded, staring still out of the window.
Ranger had always been a person who you could turn to when you ran into trouble or needed a somewhat unbiased opinion on something. He usually gave it to you straight and also offered a point of view and a different angle on things. Now, when it seemed you needed his advice and opinion the most, he turned out to be the cause of it in the first place.
"Anything we can help you with?" Cal asked somewhat worried and I shook my head.
"I don't think so to be honest." Turning away from looking out a window and simply just watching clouds move by the window I got up with more force than I had assumed I had in me at this stage. "Other than one of you giving me a lift back home that is."
"You sure that is where you want to be right now? At your place, by yourself?"
Letting out a long sigh I ended up nodding. "I … I have to think about so many things and I needed to do that by myself and not distracted. I need distance of some sorts and find answers that no one really can give me. I'm not really sure what Ranger had been thinking when he decided this was his request and will but… I know that I need to at least think about it before completely ruling it out. I owe him that much."
Both men just nodded, before they got up and Cal eventually bringing me down to the garage and driving me home a few moments later. We parked in my lot in front of my building for a while, just sitting in the car and not saying a word between the two of us. At one point Cal turned towards me, took my hand and squeezed it softly. "Let me know when there is anything else you need."
Nodding, I opened the door and got out. "I'll need only a few days to think. I know that time is a pressing matter and Connor will need to move quickly with further steps. So I won't waste much time of either of you all."
Then I closed the passer side door and walked the few steps towards my entrance, vanishing inside a moment later. I had some really hard thinking to do.
Thinking usually was more successful with a bottle of wine. Something about the deep, dark red color swishing in a swanky glass and the soft alcoholic note that lulled your brain into a fuzzy state of mind was doing the trick usually for me. It wasn't as if I expected to find all my answered at the bottom of my wine glass or the bottle of said wine therefore, but it helped loosening up and finding other routes for my thoughts to venture on.
After my second glass of wine I still hadn't managed to find anything in regards of answers and actually had more questions. Which was confusing and frustrating to say the least. So in a weak moment – or another bout of sudden insanity on my part – I grabbed my phone and dialed Ranger's number, waiting for the immediate message that the person I tried calling was not available right now and to leave a voice mail. So that is what I did.
I started my message with a long bout of sighs, finding the action somewhat extremely soothing already. "Ranger," I continued after my sighing. "I don't really know or understand what exactly you thought you were doing but… why? You could have choose and selected almost any person that would be better qualified for a job like the one you are imposing on me. Hasn't my helplessness in regards of my own life taught you that I'm rather useless at managing anything successful? If it wasn't for you and your sixth sense in regards of me and my security, I have a feeling I might have long been dead. So leaving me in charge of your company? A very successful company? That I have no idea about in any regard? Either you have a very wicked sense of humor, or you must secretly hate Tank, Bobby and Lester on some unseen level. I can tell you, when these guys get back and see what you thought of leaving them with – mainly me, in charge of everything – they will be neither amused nor particularly amazed. What on earth were you thinking? And more importantly, why? I just don't understand. I really don't!" The last part was almost said in a whisper, questioning not just Ranger's mental state, but also slowly mine. This started driving me mad. After that I hung up, feeling an odd form of lightness, like a weight had been lifted off me all of a sudden.
Finishing my glass of wine, I went to bed afterwards, wondering what tomorrow would bring and if maybe for the first time in almost a week a day wouldn't turn out crap.
It didn't. But as it turned out it wasn't improving much either. I had slept in once more and came to the realization that some questions couldn't be answered by myself alone. Maybe I needed to get my Ranger-input, just from other people. I needed opinions and advice to help me move in some direction. How convenient I knew a handful of people with plenty of each to offer (most unwanted).
I called Joe, my parents and MaryLou and saw if they had time and started with Joe over lunch.
His initial reaction to my call seemed like reigned in anger, which I found odd, but then again, he had never been a friend of Ranger's and the fact that some of his men had kept him from seeing me hadn't helped his sentiments.
"Are you okay?" was Joe's first question. And despite the situation it sounded less worried and more annoyed still, which was annoying me. But then my emotions were sort of all over the place right now, so maybe not giving into them was the best idea.
"I'm… getting there," I said softly and cautious.
"What exactly happened and where have you been these past few days?"
"I'm not entirely sure how much Ranger's men have told you in regards of the current situation…," I started and saw Joe looking at me almost bored.
"That Ranger was no longer with us and that you needed time alone," he said, sounding almost bored or uninterested. Like this topic was something that held no appeal to him.
"Jeez, can you sound any more sorry," I asked sarcastically. I knew the two of them never got along, but even when I would have been told right now that Joyce Barnhardt had died I would have probably showed a little more consideration and compassion than Joseph Morelli was displaying right now. And I really hated Joyce Barnhardt.
"Look, Cupcake, I am certain you knew that Ranger and me never got along and definitely disagreed on a lot of things. Things like we make our income and things that concerned you or his methods of work."
"I don't necessarily understand how any of that warrants for that sort of …reaction in all fairness. A person is dead, Joe. A very dear person who I considered a very good friend and who helped save your ass and solve a case or two of yours more than once. And even if you two didn't get along very well, I would assume you'd show at least grace enough to express a dignified and gracious reaction."
"I know you must be upset, Stephanie, but… you knew what he was doing. Often enough you had wondered if one day he wouldn't return from one of his 'save the world'-missions. And now he finally seemed to have bitten of more than he was able to chew."
"You do realize we are talking about the death of a person, don't you?" I asked upset.
"Yes, and maybe with him not being around any longer Trenton will be able to become a better place."
"Why does it sound as if for you Ranger is to blame for every single crime and wrongdoing that is happening in this city?"
"Because he was certainly very often walking a very thin line between wrong and right. And you can't really tell me he made all his money in security and protection. But than again, I guess it is easy money when you are the person providing security and protection from yourself. I'm certain half his client needed his services after one of his man scared the crap out of them."
"Are you suggesting that Ranger actually bullied his clients into services of his company?" I asked incredulous, not believing what I was hearing.
"Well, it is a very plausible possibility that would explain how he could have come from literally nothing and built up his little empire so effortlessly, wouldn't it?"
"Or another explanation could be that he just works very hard and has a great mind for business," I countered, feeling the grief from the last few days giving into anger at Morelli and his accusations.
Instead of replying he just shrugged and looked at me as if he didn't care either way. "Wonder what happens with his business now that he is no longer around."
"It… is being looked into," I offered cryptically, still trying to get over my shock and anger about Joe's sentiments. After a moment of silence with me taking a sip from my water and Joe a bite of his lunch, I wondered "What would you say when I was running it?"
The question had of some sorts after all been the reason for my call. And also to make sure that he knew I was still alive.
"What? Why?" he almost shouted. "Out of some sick and weird obligation that you feel you need to fulfil? For what exact reason?"
"I just… I mean, Ranger seems to think that maybe I would be a good idea."
"Based on what? Your extensive knowledge about the industry and how to run a business consisting pretty much of thugs?"
"None of them are thugs!" I clarified, though I was almost certain the point was lost on him. He had made up his mind years ago and I surely wasn't going to change what he wanted to believe.
"Even if they are not, how the hell do you imagine this thing to work? You have nil experience and can't even manage your own life, let alone a company. And… how exactly will it look to people when we eventually get married and my wife then runs the company she got handed from her ex-lover?"
"My ex-lover?" I asked with a mix of surprise and also a hint of shock.
"You can't really think I wasn't aware of you and Manoso's side activities whenever we were on a break or you felt the need for ….something else. I'm not that dumb."
"It had been once and yet you make it sound as if I warmed his bed once a week. And as you pointed out so well, we had decided to part ways, so it isn't like I had been cheating on you Joe. And I'm not entirely sure how me running RangeMan has anything to do with any of that?"
"You are not sure? Really. We get married and you run his company as some weird obligation doesn't seem a bit odd to you?"
"RangeMan has nothing to do with anything between us. How can you project what we have on a business decision?"
"A business decision? Is that really all it is?" Joe asked. "Because I think if that was anyone else, we wouldn't even have that discussion. A discussion that is completely unnecessary seeing how I am not able to see how you think you could pull this off."
"Well…it was more a hypothetical question anyway," I replied almost defensively.
"Good, because this wouldn't work. You have no experience and no idea. And while your ridiculous streak of pure luck seems to work for chasing FTAs this would be an entirely different world where luck alone doesn't work."
"I have a business degree, you know?"
"I know, but when exactly have you ever made use of it? You got it, worked a total of an hour in your job and then have worked as a BEA ever since. Your business degree as is useful as yesterday's news."
"But…" I stated, even more deflated than a few moments ago.
"Look, Cupcake. How much money have you made this month? And how much money do you have currently in your account, as of right this moment?"
"It was a rather slow month," I mumbled, knowing as well as him that my account was practically empty.
"The only reason you aren't dead by now or living under a bridge in Hamilton Township is because of Carlos Manos, which I guess is the only thing I'm technically grateful for in regards of him. But… with his passing, your monetary secondary income and his help have stopped. If you can't even manage to make a living for yourself and manage the few bucks you make as a BEA how the hell do you think you'll be able to manage a company?"
"I…I don't know," I whispered, knowing he was right. Wasn't that the exact same thing I more or less told Connor O'Malley and the guys later on? That I was the possible worst idea and fit for this? I could have mentioned that my parents or Joe himself were as much to thank for that I wasn't living under a bridge, but figured that wasn't the point.
"What brings this on anyways? Why would you wonder about that?"
I let a long silence pass between us, weighting my options for a reply carefully but decided in the end to just come out and say it. "Because Ranger mentioned in his business side of his will that he'd …um… that he'd like to see me in a position like that."
"What?" Joseph asked flabbergasted. "And you seriously consider this?"
"No, not really. I just… I don't really understand what drove him."
"I'll guess we'll never know," Joe just said and after that we finished our lunch in silence and left shortly after. This all had been a mistake right from the start.