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Songs to set the mood to:

Where I Come From by Passion Pit- while Nessie is eavesdropping and through her internal monologue afterwards

Speak Up by POP ETC- from when Jacob comes into Nessie's room until the end of the chapter

As always, I don't own anything you recognize.

Renesmee POV

I sniffed again and wiped my tears away with my sleeve. I hated that I cried so much. Sadness, anger, frustration, fear, there were always tears. Mom said I got that from her and she had hated it too. I blushed as a couple of the newer guests looked at the source of the noise. The one who introduced everyone, Carlisle, was speaking to Jacob. "Has that happened before?" He asked.'

Jake shook his head. "She doesn't normally have episodes like that, but I do remember..." He glanced around suspiciously and then gave me a worried look. "I'm not sure Bella would want me talking about it."

"We just want to find the cause of the episode so we don't trigger it again," Carlisle assured him. "If there's anything you know, please tell us."

Jake still kept looking at me, his face unsure. Then it clicked. It wasn't so much he didn't want to tell them, he didn't want to talk in front of me. Whatever secret him and Mom were keeping from me had something to do with what just happened with Mom. I tried not to glare at him. We still hadn't gotten a chance to be alone so I could grill him on the details, but it didn't look like it would do much good. Even with what just happened, he still wasn't going to speak in front of me. Fine, I'll get the answers myself.

I excused myself to go upstairs for a few minutes to pull myself together. I did go upstairs and made a big event out of going to my room and shutting the door, so they would hear I was there. I pressed my ear against the door and listened until I heard the low murmur of voices from the living room. As quietly as when I hunted, I opened the door and crept to the stairs. I sat on the steps and tried to keep myself out f sight while also still being able to hear. Walls and other noises may muffle what I can hear, but the living room was an open area that I could hear perfectly from this point.

I hugged my knees to my chest as Jacob explained to them, "Bella was bad when Sam found her in the woods. She looked like someone had died or something. My dad and I checked in with Charlie frequently after that night to see how she was doing. He said she was basically unresponsive. She didn't eat, didn't drink, she would look at you if you called her name but he said she looked so hollow and empty. She kept waking up at night screaming. Charlie was afraid someone broke into her room or something, but Bella was just having nightmares. That was really the only time he heard her voice even. It was scary." His voice cracked at the end and I could imagine the pain he was feeling. Jake and I maybe be super close, but him and Mom had been best friends for years. They were like siblings.

"She doesn't look much better now, honestly," a female voice said. Alice?

Jake snapped, "She was doing loads better, until you decided to come back."

A warning snarl came through, but no scuffle followed. I let out a small breath in relief. I didn't want any of them to start a fight. Carlisle asked, "She was doing better? What drew her out of it?"

"Renesmee." I jerked, wondering if I had gotten caught. No one was coming up the stairs though. Then I realized Jake was just answering Carlisle's question. "I didn't see her before she left, so I can't say much about that. I know when she came back from South America with Nessie, she looked loads better. She was smiling, she was talking, she was almost Bella again."

"Almost?"

Jake's voice sounded sad. "She puts on a brave face for me and Nessie, but I can see it sometimes. In her eyes. I can see the hollow look in them like what Charlie described. It's like there something she's missing inside. She gets quiet a lot more, worries a lot more. Nessie helps give her someone to look after and live for, but when Ness does something that reminds her too much of him, she shuts down a little."

I bit my lip. I hurt Mom sometimes? She never said anything. I would stop if I knew! Someone sighed and a southern male voice spoke- Jasper. "Alice mentioned Edward's name once when we talked to her yesterday. It felt about as intense as today. I think it's just anything to do with him, but especially his name."

"She flinches every time you even say he or him," someone observed.

Carlisle said thoughtfully, "It seems as if Edward's name particularly is the trigger for her comatose state. I'm willing to bet pictures of him would do the same, though I'd rather not test that theory."

"We never should have left," a softer, feminine voice floated up to me. "They're both in so much pain without each other, it could have been prevented."

"We should call him, tell him about Bella and Renesmee. He would come back and they would be happy together again," Alice chimed in.

Jake said, "Bella doesn't want him here. I don't want him here. That douche canoe left her here without a care of how that would effect her. Who's to say he wouldn't do it again?"

"He would stay, especially for his daughter," someone defended sharply.

"I'm not willing to take that chance. None of you saw what she went through and I'm sure as hell not willing to risk Renesmee going through the same exact thing with her mother. He can stay away for good," Jake growled.

I had heard enough. I tip toed back into my room silently and closed the door. Back in the safety of my room, I sank to the floor with my back pressed against the door. Random words of their conversation ran through my head. Edward...trigger...Bella...his daughter... Carlisle had been talking about an Edward when he witnessed my gift. This Edward could read minds and he was pointing out how my gift almost seemed like that but in a reversed way. He could read the thoughts, I gave my thoughts to people. I thought he was just trying to make sense of what I could do by comparing it to something he already knew. They breezed through who Edward was by calling him a family friend. Could this friend be my father?

Jake and Mom were really tight lipped about any information about my father. I never pushed too much because I could see what talking about him did to Mom. She never shut down like she did today, but she looked incredibly sad and lost. Over the years all I had gotten from them was that he was the vampire in my genetics, Mom was the human at the time, and he left before he knew Mom was pregnant with me. They didn't even tell me his name. I always thought it was because Mom didn't want me to try and look for him. I never quite understood that, though. It obviously hurt her so much to be away from him, why wouldn't she want to find him again?

The Cullens and Jacob said this Edward and Mom were in pain from being apart. Mom said yesterday the car reminded her of someone that hurt her badly. Someone had said Edward would stay here for his daughter. So many missing pieces of the puzzle were being found and falling easily into place with what I already knew. It would make sense how they would meet if both of them were friends with the Cullens. Mom's reaction to his name made so much sense if this was the man that left us.

Edward.

The name felt right somehow. Jake mentioned how it seemed like Mom has been missing a part of herself since this Edward left. I've never felt that. Was I a little sad I never knew my dad? I'll admit, a little. But I had convinced myself over the years I didn't need a father. I had Mom and Jake and Grandpa. They were my family and I didn't need anyone else. I was complete with them. I never realized how much I was in denial until I heard that name.

Edward.

The name settled in my chest, waking an old ache I never even knew I had or had long since forgotten about. There was a piece of me missing too. My father. Edward. He was out there somewhere, completely unaware of my existence. Where exactly was he now? What would he do if he knew about me? That he had a daughter? I knew some people in school who's fathers left their family when they were younger, but old enough to remember. If we met, would he stay? Would he leave? What if he was a younger vampire and he still had family alive somewhere? Was my family bigger than I originally thought?

My head was buzzing and throbbing, threatening to explode. There were so many questions I had, so many situations I was thinking of. I needed more information. I needed to know more about him. I couldn't ask Mom, though. She would just shut down again the moment I mention his name. Jake would just tell Mom on me and I would get reprimanded for listening in on a conversation I shouldn't have. The Cullens. They would know. They were friends. But how? I'm sure mom already told them not to talk to me about him and they were sure to be even more quiet on the subject now. Maybe they would slip? Maybe I could sneak the information out of them? Alice mentioned bringing him back here. She wanted him to meet me and see Mom. Maybe I could get her to bring him! I could meet him! The thought made me dizzy.

A knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. "Ness, can I come in?" Jake's muffled voice asked. I jumped up and opened the door a little too excitedly. He rose an eyebrow at me as he took in my excited expression. I tried to rearrange my face into a calmer, more somber mood. "Everything okay? You were pretty upset," he asked, still watching me carefully.

"Yeah, I just...I'm worried about Mom," I half-lied. I sniffed for good measure to hopefully seem like I had just finished crying.

It seemed to work on him. Jake's eyebrows pulled together in worry and he held his arms open for me. I gladly hugged him, burying my face into his wide chest to hide it. "She'll be okay," he said soothingly. "It's just been a stressful day for her. Carlisle said sometimes that happens to vamps that get too overwhelmed."

Ah, such a blatant lie. Even if I hadn't listened in on the conversation downstairs, I would have caught it. But I didn't call him out on it. When I felt I could put on an acceptable emotion for him, I pulled away and led him into the room. We sat on the bed, Jake stretching out enough for his feet to hang off the bed. I asked, "Has she come back yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet, but I wouldn't worry. She probably just needed to run off some of that stress." His eyes said a different story, but again I didn't push. Changing the subject, he propped himself up on one hand and faced me. "Hey, so you get to bunk with her now. That's gotta be exciting, sharing a room with your mom." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "At least she doesn't sleep so I don't have to share a bed. Which is more than I can say if I had to bunk with you."

As if to further prove my point, he stretched out some more, taking over every part of the bed except the little spot I sat cross legged. "Aw, you don't want to snuggle?" He teased with a grin.

I caught him by surprise and pushed him off the bed with a giggle. I hid behind my hair, trying to conceal my blush. His head popped up and he was chuckling too. As he got back on the bed, I asked, "Do you want to have a movie day?"

"Sure."

"I'll go get the popcorn," I offered, jumping for the chance to go downstairs. Jake either didn't notice or just didn't comment at my enthusiasm again as I practically ran from the room, busying himself with picking a movie.

The other vampires had gone off to do their own things after their meeting. None of the remained in the living room. When I turned the corner to the kitchen, I found the one with the heart shaped face wiping down the already spotless counters. Esme, I think her name was. She smiled at me when I came in, reminding me of the girls that were practically born to play princesses at Disneyland. I smiled back and went to the pantry to grab a bag of popcorn. As I put it in the microwave, she said, "It is strange to have someone actually using the kitchen for its intended purpose."

"This room probably gets the least amount of traffic through it on a day to day basis, huh?" I asked her, leaning against the counter next to the microwave. She chuckled and nodded.

I watched her clean as the smells of butter and salt filled the small space. Esme seemed to be the softest, most easily fooled out of the six Cullens. She had a very motherly energy about her that just wanted to help others. I wondered if I could use that to my advantage? I bit my lip, weighing the pros and cons if I were to start asking her questions. On one hand, I could learn more about my probably father. On the other hand, my mom would absolutely kill me if she found out I was asking around. What would I do with the information anyways? Search for him on Google and hope I found the right guy and not some creep? If he was a vampire, would he even come up on the internet? I didn't know many vampires with social media, not that I really knew many vampires to begin with. Would the Cullens know where to find him? Would they help me find him? They seemed pretty intent on siding with Mom and keeping the secret to begin with. I wasn't sure I could rely on them to help me if it went against her wishes.

Esme's soft voice broke through my internal struggle. "What has you thinking so hard, my dear?" Her voice held a bit of amusement in it I didn't quite understand.

Now or never I guess. "I was just wondering, what's your friend Edward like?" I asked, trying to sound innocent. "I haven't really met other vampires but you guys already seem so different from the ones we know in South America. I was wondering if he was different too." I tried to look a little sad at the fact I didn't really know anyone else outside of the house. I knew I was hamming it up a little but I wanted to make sure I could pull at her heartstrings.

Esme looked a little unsure. I could tell she was struggling on whether she should humor me or not. I felt bad trying to manipulate her, but I had to get answers. She said slowly, "Edward is like us in the sense he also survives off of animals and not humans. He's one of Carlisle's oldest companions."

"Carlisle seems like a very good judge of character," I complimented. "Edward must be a good person to have been friends with Carlisle for so long."

She smiled, looking a little sad around her eyes. "He is. Edward is a very kind man, very selfless and loving. He always tries to do what's right, even if it hurts himself. You reminded me of him a little bit, when you were thinking. He gets too lost in his own thoughts sometimes, we have to remind him to come back to the present." She chuckled quietly and then stopped, as if realizing what she said. Then she tried to change the subject. "I think your popcorn is done, sweetie."

I only half heard her, over the moon with the scraps of information she gave me. I was like him in some way. She could see him in me. How else were we similar? What did I get from him? I could see, she wasn't going to talk about it more, so I decided to let the conversation drop. As I was putting another bag in for myself, she said, "You know, I'm very excited to have people that can eat food in our house. I should very much like to use this kitchen for once."

"You..want to cook for me and Jake?" I asked.

She looked a little embarrassed and nodded. "If you two would be okay with it. I haven't had anyone to cook for in a very long time and I miss it terribly," she admitted.

I couldn't help but smile at her request. Yeah, she was definitely the mom of the group. "I'd love that. We can go with you, help you pick out some stuff."

"That would be very helpful, yes thank you."

I thanked her as well and went back upstairs with my snack. Jake was waiting in my room, flipping through TV channels for a movie. He seemed to find one that would do when I came in. "There you are," he said as I closed the door behind me. "I was worried the Cullens had turned you into a movie snack."

I shook my head and him and handed him the bag. He dove in and I stared at the TV screen without really taking in the movie. I needed to find him. It wasn't a matter of if I would, it was how. I was going to meet my father, I swore. I would bring him back here somehow.

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