Leah
She still stared at the point where he disappeared into the thick forrest. With his retreating form another feeling crept up her heart. Emptiness.
Days and weeks went by and the only thing that kept her going was the memory of him. That day on the beach, his skin and the thousand of diamonds that it consistened, the touch.. those thing kept her from going insane but it made everything harder at the same time.
His cell phone was off, apperently he had changed his number and she could not visit him at home. She would not. There might be little left of her but it was engough to keep her from the embarresment. He told her, she would be no nuisance. Well obviosly he lied.
That though alone was enough to hurt her more than she could ever imagined.
Her last change was a few days ago. She could not bear the pity and also share her pain with the others. Leah now was sure that she imagined his reaction to her touch. Maybe she interpreted the whole thing wrong and he was disguted. Maybe her skin was burning and had hurt him.
As the days went by she got the forebonding that this feeling she felt, would not go away. Ever. That the pain would stay with her, deep and inflicting for the rest of her life. There was nothing she could compare with it. Well, she did thought that Sam and Emily were the worst thing that ever happened to her. Guess she was wrong.
At least she was mad at them, at least she could hate them for the pain and heartbreak but despite her empty heart, she could not be mad at him. She could be never mad at him. He did not choose this, he did not choose her. It was not his problem nor his responsibility.
She wanted him to be happy, even if that meant, that it would break her. Maybe that was the true power of the imprint. That someone other mattered more than the own life. Maybe or him to be happy meant to be without her.
At least she was left alone from her mother and the rest of the pack. They all knew there was nothing that would help, no amount of alcohol, no movie night or hunt. There was nothing to cure it.
Leah remembered the day Sam left her to be with Emily. She remembered, how everyone had told her to accept it. That it was fate. That there was nothing she could do about it. Funny enough, she could now see it. Sam could not do anything about it, just like she could not do anything about it now.
It was not a choice.
But what was she supposed to do now? She had found her mate, the one person the wolf was sure about but still it did not worked out. Now she was bound to be alone forever. She imprint would not end just because she wanted it to. Even if she would eventually feel better, there was no one for her.
There were a few choices in life that were still up to her. And to continue to life like this was one of it.
It was strange, how her decision brought her peace. It was not the pain that had left, it still was there, but it grew numb. For the first time in 24 days she felt at peace.
She did not choose to became a wolf, she did not choose to imprint on a vampire and she did not choose to be rejected twice. But she can choose to end it. And she did.
Carlisle
In his 300 years he never felt like this. Maybe his changing, but not even then she felt this amount of pain, mixed with despair.
He managed the burning thirst, the urge to kill, to hunt. It almost drove him mad. But he managed. And now he was again to be tested.
Esme could find a new mate, that he was sure about. She was kind, loving, caring, sweet, she would not have a problem. Maybe she would forgive him, in time. And he would wait until the day comes. Until she was happy again. He could wait. Maybe Leah was still there when it would happen. Maybe she would understand too.
"You cannot be serious."
Edward stared at him. Carlisle looked away with shame. He knew that his mind was not a good place to be and he could imagine how hard it was for Jasper and Edward. Nethertheless he was proud of his sons. The kept quiet and endured his episodes. Well, they avoided him as much as possible but at least the did not say anything.
It was not like he was much at home anyways. He buried himself in work and tried to distract himself from the pain and emptiness. To his misfortune, it did not work, at all.
Not only did it feel wrong, he knew it was wrong to ignore her. But he also knew that there was nothing he could do about it. If he did not keep his distance, he would fall. There would be nothing that would safe him.
Alice was thrilled that he was once again in her visions. He did not react to it, he did not want to think about it what it meant. For him, for Leah.
But he would not destroy the family he had build, he would not throw his life away just because he was weak. He could not do it. He had changed Esme, he damned her to this life and now he would not turn his back on her. Not until she would send him away.
At the 24th day, shortly after he left the house and started a double shift which he hoped would take his mind off the Quileute. As he parked his car and closed the door with more force than necessary, he nodded to he nurses. His demeanor was drawing attention to it and he knew that almost the whole staff talked about his sudden mood change, his sunken eyes and more pale than usual face. He tried his best to ignore it and smiled the "How are you"s away but it still bothered him.
As he closed the office door he was hit with a scent. He would recognize it under thousands of others and he had imagined it more than he could count. But this time it was not a trick of his broken mind. It was real. Her heartbeat came closer, it was a soothing sound, steady and fast but strong. Before he could react, he heard a faint knock on his door.
Leah
"Dr. Cullen? Miss.. Clearwater here said, she had an appointment with you?"
Leah heard the distrusting tone in the way too sweet voice of the middle aged woman. She fought off the urge to roll her eyes, as hard as it was.
Carlisle hastly nodded and thanked the nurse, whom stared at him disbelievingly. Leah felt a small triumph and smiled sweetly at the woman. Apperently it was not unusal that women claimed they had an appointment with the handsome doctor. She looked at Leah again and left without another word.
Leah was overwhelmed with his scent the the nearness. It felt good, more than good. Leah basked in it. It almost wiped out the pain of the last weeks. Almost.
She took in his presence and was shocked.
He looked horrible. Still incredibly handsome, but still. Under his eyes were deep purple bags, as if he had not slept in weeks and he looked sick.
At least his eyes were still a pool of honey and amber. She had no idea why she was here. She was on her way to Canada but suddenly was struck with the unwailing desire to see him. Funny enough she had fought it für more than three weeks but as soon as she made her desicion, her feet just carried her to the hospital. But seeing him like this made er almost regret it.
"Everything ok?"
Her voice was quiet and she hated how weak she sounded.
He stared at her for a second and almost looked like he carefully thought about what to say.
"Yes, the last week were quiet stressful."
He pointed at his crowed desk and she nodded. She knew very well, that it was just an excuse but there was no sense in poking further. He would never admit the real reason and she would not ask.
"Well, what can I do for you?"
His voice was light, as if the last weeks never happened. As if they were still at the beach and as if he did not break her heart and soul. But she could hear it. It was like a crack in the pavement, messy and harsh.
She teared her eyes away from him and looked out of the window. The sky was grey as usual, it had been raining ever since.
"I just wanted to say goodbye. I am leaving for a while."
He swallowed and stared at her. His look were intense and for a second she feared, that there was not only one mind reader in the Cullen clan.
"Where are you going?"
She shrugged and thought about lying but there was no point in it.
"Canada."
Carlisle nodded and she felt him grew tense. A emotion flashed behind his tired eyes and Leah fought the urge to care. It was no longer her business, it had never been her business.
Her head was spinning, his nearness was intoxicating. She felt her fingers twitch and knew she had to do something. She moved to the door and still felt his eyes on her. Before she could stop herself, she raised her voice once again.
"I just wanted to say... that I am sorry. I never wanted.. "
She shaked her head and could not look at him. Her voice almost broke and she felt her throat tighen. She knew he knew what she meant and waited for a reaction. But none came. So she left.
She could not change, Sam would tell her to turn around. They would all feel her pain and hear her decision.
The muscles in her leg burned but she did not slow down. She ran even faster and felt her heart beating wildly in her chest. Her body was close to its breaking point and still it was not enough to numb the pain she felt.
Soon it would be over, soon she would be free. And he also.
Carlisle
He had not moved. He could hear the blaring noises from the hospital outside his office but was unfazed by it. In his mind was nothing but chaos.
Something was wrong. And it was not her leaving him or her absence. It was not the pain and emptiness he felt. Somehting was off.
He felt a fear he never felt before. It was primal and made no sense to him and he had been so sure, that his kind could not feel something alike.
Carlisle never knew, that at the same time Alice freezed. Her eyes were wide open and Jasper was gripping her hand. She could not say a word and her eyes were painfilled. Edward looked at her in shock. He was the first and only one to speak about her vision out loud.
"Carlisle will ask the Volturi to destroy him."