Written as part of 25 Days of Drarry 2020.
* Please do not translate or repost this story.
Harry had never been a fan of Christmas. Christmas at the Dursley's had only reminded him of all the things he didn't have. He didn't care about the big pile of presents Dudley had, or the food that he wasn't allowed to touch, the fact that he was forced to spend most of his time by himself, listening to his family laughing and having fun.
The only thing he cared about was that Christmas made him feel even lonelier than usual. It reminded him that he did not have his parents, and he could not stop thinking about what Christmas would have been like with them.
Although Christmas at Hogwarts is nothing like Christmas at the Dursley's, and his friends and the Weasley's have always tried their best to include him and make him feel like he is a part of the family, he can't deny that the whole festive period still makes him feel like he is all alone in this world.
So while his friends were in the common room, still gawping over the presents they had received that morning, he had snuck out to go for a walk in the snow.
He didn't think he would find anyone else out here, but after just a few minutes, he sees a figure dressed in all black sitting on a log, staring up at one of the trees.
Harry recognises Draco immediately, even from a distance, and knowing that it's him, it almost makes him turn around. But he is feeling too empty, too hollow to even care.
So he goes up to him, and when he gets closer, he realises that Draco is watching a small red bird, who is sitting in the tree, singing its song. But its song sounds solemn, and there is something about it that breaks Harry's heart.
"What do you want, Potter?" Draco asks, without looking up.
"I thought you'd have gone home by now," Harry answers, the bird's song still making him shiver. "Or did your parents…"
"You shut up about my parents!"
Harry is about to tell him to go fuck himself, but there is something about Draco sitting here by himself, listening to this bird's song, that makes Harry wonder if maybe the festive period is getting to him as well.
"May I?" he asks, but Draco just shrugs. So Harry sits down next to him on the log, still half-expecting Draco to push him off, or to get out his wand and threaten him. But Draco just keeps his eyes focused on the beautiful red bird, and when Harry looks at him, he realises that Draco's eyes are bloodshot. It looks like he's been crying, and Harry bets that it won't take much for him to burst into tears again.
"Why didn't you go home?" he tries, but Draco just shrugs. "Doesn't your family celebrate Christmas?"
"Of course they do," Draco spits out, but then he sighs. "Just not with me. Apparently."
"What do you mean?"
"Are you that stupid, Potter?" Draco asks, and it takes a moment, but then Harry realises what he is saying.
"Where are they?"
"Who cares?" Draco shrugs, but he obviously cares. Harry doesn't bring this up though.
"I'm sorry," he says, but there is no reaction. So they sit in silence for a moment, listening to the bird's song, which is still reaching deep into Harry's emotions. He can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, just wondering what his parents would look like by now, where they would live. Would they be proud of him? Would he be at home with them, having a big Christmas lunch? With Sirius, and Remus… a big family lunch, and he would have been a part of it. He would have belonged.
He refuses to cry in front of Draco though, so he tries to swallow back his tears. But when he hears Draco sniffling, he looks at him, shocked that he is willing to show his emotions. His 'weak' side, as he would no doubt call it himself.
"Just go back to your friends and tell them," Draco sniffles. "Have a good laugh about it."
"I'm not telling them anything," Harry reassures him. "It's okay to…"
"Oh, shut up, Potter," Draco spits out, but Harry can hear that he is still on the verge of more tears. "We all know that you are going to run back to Weasley and Granger, as soon as…"
"I'm not," Harry cuts him off, but he knows that Draco doesn't believe him. He probably wouldn't believe it himself if he were him.
"What are you doing out here anyway?"
"I just needed a break from everything." Harry shrugs, but Draco scoffs, shaking his head.
"What? From your friends, from the presents? Yeah, I can see why you would need a break from all of that. Poor Potter, the suffering you…"
"Really?" Harry asks. "You're sitting out here, feeling sorry for yourself because mummy and daddy decided to spend one Christmas without you. I bet they spent a fortune on presents to make it up to you, so don't you dare…"
"Is that what you think?" Draco asks, before shaking his head, smiling to himself. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
"Whatever."
Harry is about to get up, but when he hears Draco's voice, now small and fragile again, he changes his mind.
"They didn't get me anything."
"Nothing?" Harry asks, unable to hide the shock in his voice. "But…"
"It's pathetic. You don't have any family, and even you get presents."
Harry is about to defend himself, because the words hurt him more than he would like to admit. But what is he supposed to say, when it's true?
"I'm sorry," he tries again, but he can see Draco straighten his shoulders, and he tightens his jaw, as the bird's song stops. It's like its song had cast some sort of spell over them, had made them able to hold a conversation without fighting, but as soon as the bird takes flight, the usual tension between them is back.
"I don't need your pity, Potter!" Draco spits out, before getting up and storming off.
Although their conversation hadn't exactly ended on a high note, Harry hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. And as much as he can't stand Draco, and he would have let him rot in any other situation, he can't bear the thought of anyone feeling as miserable as he is on Christmas. So with a little help from a few friends, he had managed to find a small figurine of a bird such as the one they had seen yesterday.
Last night it had seemed like a good idea to get Draco a present, but now that Harry is making his way to the Great Hall for breakfast, Ron and Hermione at his side, he is starting to regret his decision. Because who knows what Draco's reaction will be like?
He is half-expecting to get attacked as soon as he's through the door, but when they sit down at their table, he looks over his shoulder, only to find Draco chatting to a fellow-Slytherin, looking much better than he did yesterday.
Harry breaths a sigh of relief, because as long as Draco is distracted, and smiling, the chance is smaller that he is about to attack him or threaten him for daring to send him a present.
But when he's about to look away, Draco catches his eye, and it makes his heart jump. The smile doesn't leave Draco's face though. In fact, it grows a little shy, but it stays on his face as he mouths a 'thank you', before turning back to continue chatting to his friend.
"Potter? Wait up!" Draco yells in a hushed voice, and Harry can hear him running after him out of the Great Hall.
Most students are still enjoying breakfast, but Harry is beginning to feel that empty, hollow feeling again, and he couldn't fake a smile any longer.
"Thank you, for the figurine," Draco says, and Harry can swear that he can see a blush on his face. "It means… you know…"
"I know." Harry smiles, and he is about to turn and leave, but Draco steps up to him, and he leans in for a hug. But it's uncomfortable, and with both of them so aware of it, and not used to being like this with each other, they end up bumping into each other awkwardly. Their faces almost touch, and just as Harry is about to make a joke to laugh it off, Draco brings their mouths together.
"Did you just…"
"I'm pretty sure you kissed me," Draco quickly says, taking a step back. "I was only…"
"You kissed me."
"No, I didn't. Don't be ridiculous, Potter."
Harry just stands there, too shocked to say anything, and for a moment he even questions himself. Because did he kiss Draco? Surely not.
"Where were you going, anyway?" Draco asks to cut through the silence. "Were you going for another walk?"
"I was." Harry nods. "I told you, I could do with a break from all…," he says, looking around him, the Christmas decorations everywhere. "This."
"How about I join you?" Draco asks, and for a moment Harry thinks there is a catch coming, a punchline to a joke. But when there is none, he nods.
"Oh… yes. Yes, I think I'd like that."
When Draco flashes a smile, something that still takes Harry by surprise when he sees it, he feels some of the loneliness he had been feeling leaving him.
"Well, don't just stand there, Potter."
Harry can't help but laugh, because Draco is still blushing, and he almost looks a little shy, no matter how hard he is trying to make it seem like he doesn't give a damn about anything.
"Let's go." Harry smiles, and they leave the castle and step out into the snow. It makes them shiver, and it takes their breath away. And it isn't until they reach the log where they had sat yesterday, that they finally speak again.
"I'm sorry I kissed you," Draco mumbles.
"I'm not." Harry shrugs, as soon as the words have left his mouth wishing he could take them back. Because surely Draco will find a way to use them against him, if not now then some day in the future.
"You're not?"
Harry just sighs, too tired, Christmas too emotionally draining for him to leave him with any energy to even try and wrap his head around how he is feeling. But when Draco nervously moves closer to him, their legs now touching, he can't help but smile.
He hears the bird's song again, and it makes him look up. Only yesterday, its song had been solemn, it had felt lonely and sad. But this morning the little bird sounds hopeful, it sounds like it knows that the two boys listening to its song are both thinking about a possible future instead of their past. A future which they couldn't possibly have dreamt of, but as their hands find each other's, it lingers in the air. Only the bird brave enough to sing the words on this cold Christmas day.