tw / COVID-19, talk of death, grief
The sun was shining on an old house in a quiet Washington neighborhood.
The rays tickled the roof shingles and sprayed the walls with light. It was a beautiful afternoon, a late Saturday in May. The perfect day to go outdoors and get some Vitamin D in the warm solar rays.
The three women inside the house couldn't care less.
If you listened closely, you could hear a song by Tegan and Sara playing on a speaker, filling the house. If you listened even closer, you could hear the smash of a plate against tile and the unmistakable laugh of a particular person.
"Oh, would you two stop it already?!"
Meredith laughed again, loud and long, as Amelia thrust another fragile plate towards the floor. The piece of fine china shattered into equally fine shards that littered the kitchen.
Maggie fell back into a chair, one hand covering her face. "You guys are making such a mess! This is dangerous - Meredith, you have children!"
"And?" The mother of three smirked devilishly at her sister, grabbing more plates from a cabinet and stacking them on the counter.
"AND one of your little babies could step on a sharp piece of plate and lose a toe," Maggie argued. "I mean, seriously, Mer - Amelia, don't you dare!"
The third sister in the household, poised and prepared, held a plate high in the air with a grin. "Oh, boo hoo. Meredith said I could!"
"I did," the eldest affirmed, laughing. "I don't need those old plates anymore."
Maggie scoffed, but a hint of a smile crinkled the corners of her mouth. "Well, don't come crying to me when you have to clean all this up." She motioned to the Bluetooth speaker. "Somebody turn it up!"
The music grew louder as the loud laughter of the sisters echoed through the open windows, without a care of who was listening.
—
Amelia's heart ached.
She watched from the nurses' station, along with Dr. Owen Hunt and Dr. Winston Ndugu, through a window as her eldest niece sobbed and hugged Meredith with all her might.
Days had passed since the surgery. Meredith was still not awake.
Time was running out.
Zola, in her blue protective suit and N95 mask, clung to her mother. She had overheard her auntie Maggie on the phone with Winston, refusing to expose her niece to Meredith's struggling state, and demanded to come along. She wanted to see her mother, no matter what she looked like.
Maggie had opened her mouth to say no, and instead caught sight of her niece's eyes. They were dark brown pools of melancholy innocence, reflecting the pain of the little girl's heart.
They could not be denied.
Now the dear child was within the walls of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, holding her frozen mother and pleading with her to survive.
No.
"I can't do this." Amelia peeled herself away from the desktop, swiping furiously at the tears streaking her cheeks. "I need - I need to be somewhere else right now. I can't be here."
Ignoring the concern plastered on the men's faces, she turned and began striding down the hallway. Her eyes fixated on the door to the supply closet as she walked. Just have to get behind that door, she encouraged herself. Away from the staring, the despair… I can take a minute. Her pace increased steadily, sneakers treading on the linoleum tile. Just a minute.
She was almost there; the door handle within arm's reach -
A strong hand clutched her wrist tightly, yanking her away from refuge. "No!" She tried to rip her hand out of the grasp, but to no avail. Her arms began to tremble. "Let me go!"
"Amelia, please!" The voice startled her into looking up at the person's face.
She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Oh." The young woman was crying, still holding Amelia's wrist. She gazed at the neuro surgeon with a loving, yet painfully sorrowful expression. "Oh, Amelia."
Amelia gasped. "Arizona!" Before she knew it, she was buried in her dear friend's arms.
Their sobs blended together, conjoined in heartbreak.
Arizona pulled away first, after an eternity of hugging. Her hands reached up and gripped her former colleague's shoulders, expression immediately serious. "I need you to show me to Meredith's room."
The blonde sighed, and her breath shuddered beneath her mask.
"I'm here to say goodbye."
—
"Mommy, please. You can't die."
Meredith caught the words as they drifted into her ears. Like a flashlight in the darkness, the voice pierced the silence of the oblivion.
"Bailey and Ellis need you, and...I need you." Heartache poured into each word, each quiet sob, each breath.
The words hurt.
Meredith cracked her eyes open ever so slightly, to experiment. A great, glistening ocean greeted her. Seawater sprayed her face and tickled her tongue - she tasted salt and breathed. Oh, how she breathed. The fresh coastal air was a blessing.
Where's Derek?
"I miss you so much, mommy."
Meredith closed her eyes. The beach drifted away.
"Please wake up. Please come back to us."
—
Amelia guided Arizona down the hallway. The two women linked arms as they trudged along, a stark sign of togetherness in an otherwise isolated COVID unit.
As they approached the nurses' station, a PA announcement echoed over the loudspeakers. Code Blue in Room 219. Code Blue, 219. A clamor of nurses and doctors rang out at the end of the hallway, crash carts clanking against the walls and rolling towards the emergency.
Amelia grimaced. Another one. That's the third time today in that room alone.
The code had mostly emptied the station of other personnel, but the two male doctors still lingered at the desk. Owen Hunt glanced up at the ladies as they marched closer, and his eyes lit up in recognition.
"Arizona. Good to finally see you again." He offered her a kindly smile.
She matched his expression in return, hidden beneath her mask. "It's nice to see you as well, Dr. Hunt," she said in a friendly tone.
Dr. Winston Ndugu noticed the new face upon hearing Owen's words, and also smiled at Arizona. "Hello! Nice to meet you."
"Arizona Robbins," the blonde offered.
"Winston Ndugu. I'm a cardio fellow; I work at Tufts, but I've been helping out here for the past few weeks."
"I'm a peds surgeon over in New York, but I used to work in this hospital."
"New York?" The doctor blinked in surprise. "Not an easy journey all the way to Seattle from there. I hope the trip was alright."
"Yeah. Not easy in a pandemic, that's for sure. But I can't complain."
A sharp sound broke through the introduction, and the doctors swiveled towards the door to Meredith's room. A nurse had walked in with a clipboard, informing Zola that she had to leave (visiting hours must be over, Amelia realized). The girl in question was wailing, grasping her mother's pale hands for dear life as the nurse tried to tug her away.
She'd had to be strong without her mother for so long, caring for two younger siblings and trying to stay afloat in a global pandemic. And now Zola, after only 56 minutes with Meredith, was being torn away from her mom again.
"It's not fair." Amelia didn't realize she had spoken aloud until she spotted the doctors turning back towards her. "Nothing about this is even remotely fair."
"Nothing about this pandemic is fair," Arizona added. "It just keeps taking from people. This virus doesn't care."
—
Zola squirmed out of the nurse's grasp for the fifth time and tried to slow her pounding heart.
Not even an hour had passed since Zola had arrived, had rushed to her mother's bedside and hugged her as tightly as possible. She couldn't leave yet; what if this was the last time she would lay beside her, before she…
I can't go. I need more time with my mommy.
Zola was a sensible child, and she knew it. She was the first to warn other kids when a situation turned sour, and she never involved herself in bad decisions and dangerous social circles. She respected others, and was respected greatly in turn by her teachers and classmates.
As such, she respected the nurse's job. After all, she was just doing what she was told.
That didn't mean Zola had to like it.
"I'll have to call in security if you don't listen to me, missy," the nurse screeched. Unlike most Grey Sloan employees, she was not a patient woman; her round, pear-shaped face was beginning to turn purple.
The determined little girl leaned down, closer to her mother, until their noses were nearly touching. She could see her mother's pale cheeks and long, ever-so-slightly fluttering eyelashes.
"Eyelashes. My friends would wish on them constantly when we were in school. Some say they're good luck."
"Mommy, do you really believe that?"
"I don't know, Zo. But guess what I know for sure? I know that there are a lot of little, beautiful things in this world - even hidden among the big, bad things."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes, Zo. That's how it was when Daddy and I got you. You were our beautiful gift, even when our worlds were falling apart."
"...Beautiful."
"Yes. You're our beautiful girl, Zo-Zo."
She leaned further down, by the side of Meredith's head. "Please wake up, mommy," she whispered in her mother's ear. "I need you to come back. Please."
"That's ENOUGH!" A furious Maggie Pierce burst into the room, followed by Amelia and Winston. Arizona leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, with Owen standing beside her. The five doctors appeared extremely unhappy, from their matching angry expressions.
Maggie beelined her way to the purple nurse, who appeared flabbergasted at the sudden commotion. "That little girl has not seen her very sick mother in weeks, and now she's finally getting a moment alone with her. And this is how you treat her?! Thank goodness Amelia called me before this escalated further."
"She's not bothering anyone," Winston supplied. "She just misses her mom. Can't you spare her a few more minutes?"
"Zola's a very smart girl," Amelia interjected next. "Surely you understand the concept of visiting hours, Zo?"
The girl nodded quickly.
"She gets it. It's not like she's trying to stay all night," Amelia finished tightly. "Just a little more time would suffice."
"I-I cannot BELIEVE your conduct right now, doctors," the nurse yelped. "I can't make exceptions just because you have a personal connection to this girl!"
"Could you p-please… keep it down so I… can t-talk to my daughter?"
The room instantly fell silent. Seven pairs of eyes landed on the source of the noise, the feeble voice that made the plea.
Amelia and Maggie gasped. Arizona's hands flew up and covered her face, and the gentlemen's eyes grew comically wide.
Zola squealed with joy. "Mommy!"
"Hey there, Zo," came Meredith Grey's soft reply. A weak smile brightened the woman's face. "I've missed you."
—
May 1, 2021
We're finally back! I've missed writing this story so much. This chapter has actually been in the works for a month! I just never had the time/motivation to finally finish it haha. Glad I could get this one out there at last!
Thank you so, so much to everyone reading and reviewing this story - you are so appreciated. It makes my day seeing your feedback and interest in this fic!
The next few weeks are going to be a bit chaotic, but I'll try to get a new update out very soon! I am SO EXCITED for the next episode with a former character returning… Thursday can't come soon enough!
Have a great day, and see you next time!
galaxyquill