Six
Gage cuddles into my chest asleep as Edward and I sit and watch their kids movie engrossed. Bree lies asleep on the small armchair beside the lounge.
Edward scoffs at the TV.
"This is so inappropriate," I giggle, "this would go right over their heads."
"I'm certain he was just referring to his dick size," Edward points at the screen, "the rating on this is seriously PG?"
"Yep," I giggle, "like it matters. They're both out like lights. You tired them out. If I could get them to go to sleep this well on a Saturday night at home I would need to live off less coffee."
"I'm feeling it too," he smiles leaning closer to me to stroke Gage's cheek, "they keep me young."
"You're not old," I roll my eyes.
"I'm getting there. Sometimes I feel like I've done it all on the order. Like I half settled down," he says.
"We did it in the wrong order," I nod.
"If we didn't have them do you think we would be together?" He asks.
Blunt.
I study him for a few moments before shaking my head.
No.
"No I don't. I think you would have realised how much of a freak I am," I smile, feigning a joke, meaning it with sincerity, "you would have learned I keep ketchup in the fridge beside chocolate."
"That is not natural," he holds his hands up, "they belong in the pantry. But seriously."
"I think you would have realised I'm not good enough," I admit casting my eyes down to Gage, "that I would have dragged you down. I always felt like a weight to your balloon."
"Did I make you feel that way?" He pushes.
"Nope," I shake my head, "I often felt richer than you. Even after we broke up. I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to deserve you. Even now I wonder why you'd kick out that blonde beauty to hang out with me."
"Because she doesn't even compare to you," he takes my hand, "not even for a second."
"I just couldn't see a world where you would drag around your pregnant post-teen girlfriend to the biggest chain hotel in the world. I would have been an embarrassment for you," I shrug, "so I took myself out of the equation."
"I didn't want that. I wanted to make it work," he says defensively.
"It would never have happened. It was for the best," I shake my head, "it is for the best. You can focus and grow. You would have turned down opportunities for us. Your father wouldn't have deemed you fit for the job. Now you're about to be the CEO in a few years."
"My father would understand. And it's all while you sit at home waiting for your dream to come to you," he says.
Something inside me snaps. He's right and I hate it. So I do what I do best. I run.
I stand with Gage in my arms, carefully shifting him so his face is buried into the crook of my neck.
"Bella," Edward says after me.
Ignoring him I take the stairs, aiming for Gage's room. Once I place him into his bed I tuck him in, heading back to the hallway. I pull the door shut to see Edward exiting Bree's room.
Walking toward me he puts a hand on either of my shoulders.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "I just think you've let me shine by diming yours. You've avoided me and skipped the conversation when I try to face it. For over a year I begged you to change your mind but it hurt. The constant rejection hurt so I stopped."
"And it hasn't changed," I whisper back, "you were made for bigger things."
"So were you," he growls out frustrated.
He glances over my shoulder at Gage's door, grabbing my hand. I let him pull me to the bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
"You can't juggle both. You'd have to compromise your job," I shake my head walking toward the ensuite, "you'd have to decline work trips if we were together. You'd pick us over the company every time."
"Maybe I want to," he follows me into the bathroom.
"You don't mean that," I shake my head.
"How would you know? You've never let me prove it," he moves closer to me, "you've never once let me try."
"At 23 you would have had to throw everything away for this. To be the suburban dad. You would have hated me for taking it away," I lean against the counter, "I couldn't ever wake up to you hating me. Having you be a friend is better than having you as nothing."
"That would never happen," his hands darted out, trapping me against the sink, "I could never resent you. Look at what you gave me. You gave me children. They're the lights of my life. They came along a lot sooner than I would have expected but I love them."
"I was just scared okay. I was scared I was destroying your life," I place my hand on his chest.
"You did that," he mutters, "you completely destroyed me."
I blink up at him, hurt rushing through me.
"No one else will ever come into my life and compare. You made me a dad, you gave me the greatest gift, but I couldn't have you. You destroyed me by giving me nothing but want and need for you," he moves in closer.
"I…" I mutter.
"You destroyed me in both the best and worst way possible. You've left me desperate. A man completely powerless to your smile, your beauty, your sexy body," his eyes look down at my body, "but if getting you in my life as it has been these last few years was better than nothing at all. I'd rather be destroyed with desire than have nothing at all. That I could never recover from."
I want to speak. I want to voice my refusal. Because I'd spent years trying to protect him. Safe guard his dreams from the mistake we made all those years ago. The sting had followed me ever since. Suddenly he was trying to apply ice to it. He had all along, I've just ignored the chill.
He'd dated other women trying to replace what we had.
But nothing ever could. We shared more than what he had found.
I knew that. But something inside me felt guarded.
"In four years I've accomplished a lot. I owe it all to you," he says, "but I would give it all back if it meant I got you to come home to the past four years."
His mouth moves in closer to mine.
"Pretend I'm 23. You're 20. Pretend we haven't got kids. Pretend I'm not the guy you claim to be so out of your league and accept I'm fucking crazy for you," he mutters before pressing his lips into mine.
So I pretend. Dipping back into the fantasy we created earlier in our meadow.
His hips collide against my waist, pushing me back against the sink. Hands are on my body, lifting so I sit on the counter edge, so he can stand closer and between my legs.
Letting his tongue snake into my mouth, I lean up to wrap my arms around him. I moan, unable to fight it down any longer. It's the encouragement his wandering hands need to slip beneath my shirt.
"Fuck," he whispers head dipping to my neck, "fuck you're gorgeous."
"Edward," I moan out, "I… I think we should do this not on the bathroom sink."
His hands immediately go beneath my thighs lifting me. Wrapping my legs around his body I feel him walk me back into the bedroom.
"You're sure?" he whispers against my pulse.
"We're 20 and 23," I nod tugging at the bottom of my shirt.
The signature crooked grin that I've dreamt about for so long. To see it like this again. Fuck it was hot.
I pull my shirt over my head and fling it to the floor. He was all I wanted. I'd handle any consequences tomorrow. Oasis was guilt free.
He lays me back on the bed, following immediately to place kisses across my chest, on the swell of my breasts held back by my bra.
Jackhammer me.
"Sorry what?" He looks up at me.
"Did I say that out loud?" I grin.
"You sure did," he laughs, "is that a new thrusting technique?"
"God no," I tug on his shirt, freeing the hem from his jeans, "I'll explain it later. I'm busy right now trying to get you naked."
"Well I'll quit being such a distraction. Jack hammering sounds like my sort of thing," he sits back on his knees whipping his shirt off.
I'd admired it all day at the meadow. His chest had gotten even better. The muscles, dips and crevices all sexier than ever. He was all man. Magic Mike had nothing on him. When he flexed his arms around me his biceps bulged, his six pack felt like rippled silk beneath my fingers.
"Pants," I tug his zipper down.
"You got less bossy in bed," he jokes sarcastically, "it's a shame. The demanding use to get me so turned on."
"Get your pants off," I commanded, looking down at his waist, "right now."
He does what he's told, riding himself of his boxers too. I look between us happy to be reunited with his full, hard member. He'd always been blessed in this department. I'd failed at finding someone who came even close in the pressure he could bring me.
"God," I whisper.
"Edward," he leans down to kiss me, "the big holy dude in the sky won't help you now."
Holy shit.
His hands begin work on my jeans. When necessary I lift my hips so he can drag them down with my panties. I'm beneath him with just a bra.
I feel desired. Like I was the reason his world spins. For the first time in four years I knew how to drive a man wild. It was muscle memory.
His hands slim up my sides until they trace up above the cup of my bra.
"These. I have missed these," he mutters, "they're the reason for many cold showers over the years."
I bite my lip. The years? He'd thought about this for that long.
Had he truly never gotten over me?
I arch my back reaching beneath myself to open the clasp. When the bra goes slack he wastes no time slipping the straps down my arms, pulling the restraint from my chest.
"Fuck," he mutters, "just fuck."
His hands move to take both of them into his grasp, squeezing them together, massaging with his finger tips. I feel little jolts of excitement at my core, desperate for him to continue.
"I can't waste another second," he shakes his head.
His head leans down, taking my right nipple into his warm, wet mouth. I bite back a loud moan remembering the little ears down the hall.
My hips arch up as he sucks in my sensitive breast, licking and nibbling. He's like a child at the playground. Alternating between massaging and his mouth, I'm positively dizzy beneath him.
"Ugh I need to move this along," he says to himself, "I'm ready to get reacquainted with here."
My hips buck completely shocked by the sudden intruder. Without wasting any time he pushes a finger into me, thumb rubbing my clit. Oh god he hadn't lost his art of subtlety.
"Good god," I moan, "warning would have been nice."
"Where's the fun in that?" He chuckles.
I grip his forearm as he holds himself up above me, his fingers getting to business between my legs.
His mouth returns to my chest, committing each section of skin to memory. I try to thrust toward his hand as he picks up pace but I can't. The power is overwhelming.
"You're fucking beautiful," he whispers into my breasts, "you were sensational then. Now you're beyond capable belief."
I clench my eyes shut as he wills my climax closer.
"I'm going to fuck you," he says, "I have a lot of time to make up for it. I'm going to come quickly because my dick has missed you that much, Bella."
I'm whimpering when he pulls his hand away from my warmth. The dirty words run right over me.
"I'll get a condom," he begins to move.
But I stopped him. Having him move away right now would mean less time beside him.
"No," I say, "I'm fine. I'm safe."
"You're sure?" He asks.
"Just do it," I wrap my hand around him, tugging him closer to my core, "it's fine."
He nods, lining himself up with the place that has been waiting eagerly for him. When he penetrates me I moan out.
Finally!
His hand clamps down on my mouth muffling the noise.
"Shush," he smirks, "you'll wake the twins."
I kiss his palm, moaning into it as his hips give another jerk into me.
"Ugh. You're so hot," he looks down at me.
His body covers mine, his chest pressed against my boobs as his hips move. Each movement is deep and hard. I feel him hit different angles, each drawing out another long stretch of muffled moans.
My hands grip his forearm, as I try my best to thrust back toward him, willing him deeper into me.
"You're so tight. It feels perfect Bella. I can't get enough," he whispers into my ear, burying his face into my neck, "thank you for this. For letting me be this again."
Moving my hands I wrap my arms around his neck. I wrap my legs around his waist.
"You're driving me wild," he whispers, "you drive me wild every day."
I clench my eyes shut as his thrusts pull me closer to my orgasm. He leans up hovering over me once more, my hands on his shoulders.
"I'm close. How about you?" He asks, removing his hand from my mouth.
"I'm… yes!" I gasp out as he hits a sweet spot.
"You're going to come for me?" His chuckle is dark, satisfied.
"Yes," I nod opening my eyes.
I meet his gaze. His pupils are dilated and dark with lust.
Scooping up one of my legs, he throws it over his shoulder and truly gets to work. I place my own hand over my mouth as he holds my leg up, his other hand guiding my hips as he pounds into me roughly, quickly.
The sex has changed into something dirty and desperate. My tits bounce rapidly as he gives me the kind of sex I've envisioned having with him. He growls out my name.
The grunts he's making, the speed of his hips. It all combines to bring me to my climax. And boy does he bring me to it. I cry out forgetting to muffle my noise, arching off the bed, clenching down on his dick. I jerk up into him as his thrusts never stop coming.
He rides out my orgasm as he races toward his own. It draws mine out. Beneath him I grip the sheets in my hands. Holding on for dear life as he too releases. He crashes down on top of me, my legs around him.
We pant, coated in sweat, relishing in the moments we'd dug up from the past.
As we catch our breath he moves us so that we're under the covers, my body tight against his.
I already want more.
So I spend the night taking it. Pretending we were 20 and 23.
Our age comes crashing down at 7am the next morning when Gage bounds into the room excitedly.
"Mummy and Daddy had a sleepover," he climbs up onto the bed, sitting between Edward and I's legs.
I cover myself, mortification sinking in.
Edward sits up, trying not to expose my chest.
"Gage," he says between a yawn.
"Where are your shirts?" Gage asks, confused.
"They had sex," Bree giggles from the door way, "remember when uncle Emmey said."
I glance at Edward.
"Your brother…" I begin.
"Will get his ass kicked," he nods to me, before turning back to the kids, "what's sex?"
"When you hug without a shirt," Bree says matter of factly.
"Did uncle Emmett have a shirtless cuddle with Aunty Rose?" I ask cautiously.
"Yep," Gage nods, "when we had that sleepover. That's when they taught us pinky swear. So we wouldn't tell you about it."
Edward runs his hand over his face, through his messy hair.
Mum rule number three…
Avoid letting your kids catch you naked with their dad… who also happens to be your ex… who you also happen to be In love with.
Okay maybe that's just a general rule.
Thank you so much for reading!
Please drop me a review if you enjoyed xx