Chapter Six: My Fault
"L... Luka, what're you doing here?" He had shown up randomly at the bakery a few days later, his guitar in hand, a shy smile across his face. But now he was upstairs in her room, playing her a demo of a song he had just written, asking for her advice.
"So... What do you think?" Luka asked, opening his eyes as he finished. Marinette smiled at him, "it's amazing," she looked over at the boy next to her on the chaise and she heard him sigh. Confused, she placed her hand over his that was still gripping the guitar and she instantly felt the warmth radiating from it.
He gently shook her off to place his instrument back in the case, then turned his body more towards her. He knew this was most likely the last time they'd be this comfortable together, and he didn't want it to end, nor did he want to be the one who ended it, but he knew she wouldn't. Luka gingerly placed his hand on the side of her face, causing her to jump and widen her eyes, her head stiff, unsure of what to do. Slowly removing his hand, he smiled apologetically and stood up. "You still love Adrien."
Marinette's cheeks reddened and she stood up to face him, immediately thinking about denying his statement, but she knew she wouldn't be able to lie to him. "But he doesn't love me back," she stated, only now meeting his eyes, "and I really like you, Luka," he smiled and reached for her hand, holding it softly.
As if knowing where he was going with this, she began to feel tears start to form and she looked at her feet, willing them to go away. "I love you, Marinette," that had shocked her. She swung her head up, letting tears fall down her face freely now, "and it might be possible to love multiple people at once, but I don't want to put you through that; having to make a choice," he wiped a tear from her cheek, making her smile, trying to suppress a sniff.
"I don't want to still love him this much," she said, saying the generalized truth, squeezing her hand around his and he nodded, "if I didn't, then the decision would've been so much easier," Marinette dropped her gaze and tried her hardest not to outwardly sob, this was one of the worst things she's ever done.
Luka took his free hand and raised her chin up so he could see her, smiling fondly when he did so, "I know, Marinette, it's okay." Before she could stop herself, she began crying freely and he pulled her into him, her arms pressed against his chest as he drew lines along her spine. She was mumbling incoherent phrases against him, he could only understand a few sentences and words, it's not fair, I wish it was different, I'm so sorry.
He laid his chin on top of her head, holding her slightly tighter at every sob that escaped, only loosening his grip when her breathing returned to normal and her crying was more controlled. "I don't want to lose you, Luka," her voice shook with every syllable. He pulled back, looking at her with eyes full of admiration, "you won't, Marinette, I promise," he brought her back against him and she wrapped her arms around his waist, allowing herself to be held.
"I'll always be here for you, no matter what," Luka spoke softly into her hair.
Marinette broke apart from the boy who was holding her, sniffling slightly while smiling sadly up at him. "Maybe it'll be different," she didn't want this to be the end of whatever they had and she didn't want to lose hope. But he just moved his arms to her shoulders and shrugged, noncommittal to her statement.
Not hearing her phone buzz on the couch, she stepped out of his arms and slid her hand down to hold his, and when he slung the guitar case over his shoulder, they walked together. After Luka said goodbyes to her parents, she walked him out to his bike. Before he had the chance to take off on his bike, Marinette jumped into him, hugging him tightly, then quickly backed up and stood on her toes to lightly kiss him on the cheek. Then he rode away, looking back once at the girl he left on the side of the street.
Feeling a slight breeze, she turned to go back inside when she was suddenly stopped in her tracks by familiar green eyes.
"Adrien? What... what are you doing here?" Marinette was suddenly scared that he saw the interaction she just had with Luka. Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, then hastily stuffed both in his pockets. "I, uh, I just came by to get some macarons," he spoke slowly as if he was making it up as we went along, "it's Nathalie's birthday."
The still frozen girl suddenly lit up and ushered him inside awkwardly, almost tripping over her feet as she did so. She started rambling about which flavors she liked and how many he would want, and she was so busy pulling him around and pointing at different things that she didn't notice him only staring at her the whole time.
"Uh," he huffed a nervous laugh, "I don't really know what she likes," he admitted, his face flushed. Marinette just looked at him sympathetically and began shuffling through box sizes and ended up on the second smallest. Filling it with more simple options, she handed it back to him with a too wide smile. Adrien reached for the box, making sure not to leave eye contact, and his hands brushed over hers, causing her to drop the box on the floor.
Looking incredibly embarrassed, she bent down to pick it up and she crouched to help, both reaching for the box at the same time and touching hands once more. They both chuckled and pulled their hands away, blushing furiously. "S... sorry," she stammered, standing up and hitting her head on the counter above her. Adrien placed the macaron box on top of the table and leant back down to check on Marinette.
Wincing in pain, she stood up, her arms being held by Adrien. Carefully pressing one of her hands to the top of her head, she laughed loudly, causing the boy holding her to somewhat jump. "I'm sorry!" She yelped out in between fits of laughter, "It's really not funny, it's not," he still held tightly on her upper arms, scared to let her go in case she lost balance. But when she didn't elaborate any further, he guided her over to one of the chairs then seated himself across the table.
Finally calming down, she remembered who she was with and instantly blanched, then her cheeks reddened once more. "Uhm," she cleared her throat, then squeaked out a quiet apology. Offering a bashful smile, she walked over and retrieved the box and brought it back over to the table where they were sat at. Adrien opened the box and looked at her with a torn look.
"It's not actually Nathalie's birthday," he quickly said, refusing to meet her gaze. He heard a quiet gasp escape her mouth and he looked up with hooded eyes, looking as guilty as ever.
Marinette was insanely confused, "then wh... why are you here?" She finally asked, looking between him and the macarons. He rubbed the back of his neck, the same nervous tick he always does, and gave her an apologetic look, debating on what to say. "Uh, I was just kinda, around?" Marinette stifled a laugh, "is that a question?"
Adrien looked out the window then back at her, deciding on telling her mostly the truth. "Well, I uh, I called you because my father wasn't home," she looked at him wide-eyed, suddenly very embarrassed, "but I guess I know why you didn't answer." He reached for the macarons, but was blocked by her hand as she yanked the box towards her. When she saw the slightly sad expression he wore, she just became even more confused.
"What was your pl- plan?" Marinette still withheld the box from him, searching his face. Adrien made brief eye contact and then looked past her, "I don't know, I didn't really get that far..." He said honestly, then an idea struck him, "ice cream?" He asked hesitantly. She smiled sweetly and slid the box over to him and hopped out of her chair energetically. "You're so sweet- I mean, that sounds, uh, the ice cream sounds sweet," she stammered.
Deciding on getting ice cream, Marinette informed her parents and left.
On the route, they were relatively silent, only talking about something that caught their eye on the way. This isn't awkward at all, Adrien wasn't sure whether he was the one making it tense or not, but he didn't have much time to think because they arrived at the bridge rather quickly.
When they walked up to André, he greeted them with his usual joyous smile. "Ah! My sweet Marinette and charming Adrien, what brings you to André's today?" The two smiled at each other, "I see! A friendship turned romance?" Adrien and Marinetted blushed and both began denying, both saying that they were just friends when André burst in once more, "Don't try to fool me, I saw it at first glance! One, or two cones?"
Seeing as André wouldn't be convinced, Adrien spoke up and told him to make only one cone for them, making the ice cream vendor light up with delight.
"Excellent! Let's see," he squinted his eyes, studying the two blushing teens, "ah, of course! The combination is obvious! Strawberry and mint, joined by passionfruit. Two halves of two hearts, now united from change, hard to tell apart!" He announced as he handed them the three scoop tall cone and they walked away to sit on the ledge over the river, both avoiding mentioning the "romance" that André brought up.
"Wasn't his description a little vague?" Adrien finally asked, taking a bit from the passionfruit and sighing blissfully. Marinette, still not having taken a bite, shrugged, "what do you mean?" He waved his spoon in the air, "you know - "two halves of two hearts… hard to tell apart!" - what does that mean?" He said with an impressive André impression, making Marinette laugh and feel comfortable enough to finally taste the strawberry, licking her spoon clean after only one sample.
She went in to try to mint just as he was going to try to strawberry and their eyes met, making both of their faces erupt in a bright red. "Oh uh, I don't know," Marinette said with a noncommittal laugh, "André says some crazy things sometimes," she then put a mouthful of ice cream in her mouth to keep her from saying anything that might be embarrassing.
Adrien looked fondly as Marinette got a bad brain freeze, her hand going to her temple. "I don't know, it wasn't all that crazy, was it?" Her hand froze in midair as she brought it down from her head and almost dropped her spoon. "Uh, no, it's crazy - you're crazy, no!" She was internally kicking herself for what felt like the umpteenth time that day, "it's not crazy," she then said, almost wistfully.
They locked eyes and held each other's gazes for what felt like minutes, then Adrien felt melted ice cream run down his hand, grabbing a cloth and wiping it clean. "We should probably finish eating this before it all melts," he laughed and she joined him, scooping more ice cream into her mouth, trying to beat the temperature.
The conversation was a bit more lively on the trip back to Marinette's, but there were still moments of uncomfortable silence. And when they got to her front doors, he nervously shoved his hands into his pockets and shifted his weight between his feet. "Thank you for today, Adrien," she said shyly. More silence overtook them and Adrien, after checking the time, sighed and pocketed his phone. "I have to go," he said, a sad undertone to his voice. He then slowly gripped her forearm and gave a small smile, "I'll see you later Marinette."
Marinette walked inside and went straight up to her room and to her bed, then she flopped down and huffed loudly into her pillow. When she heard her kwami land next to her, she rolled over and looked to the ceiling. "What do I do Tikki?"
"What do you do about what?" Her being asked, faking ignorance. Marinette rolled her eyes, "about Adrien." She tore the pillow from under her head and covered her face, screaming into it. "What's wrong Marinette?" Tikki asked, now genuinely confused. She thought she loved Adrien, isn't this what she wanted?
Once Marinette was done yelling, she hugged the pillow to her chest, "I love Adrien, but I..." she trailed off, closing her eyes until Tikki nudged her to continue, "it's Chat Noir!" She finally exclaimed, throwing the pillow cross the room, hitting the wall. "When Adrien finally shows interest in me, I just have to go and start... feeling things for that stupid, mangy cat!"
Adrien closed the door and fell onto his bed, his body bouncing once on the mattress. "I don't know if I can do it Plagg," at the mention of his name, the black being floated over to him, cheese in hand, and plopped himself on the pillow. "I still love Ladybug, and I can't do that to Marinette," Plagg nodded, still chewing his treat.
He groaned into his bed, flipping over suddenly, causing the small black cat to throw the cheese in the air and scramble to catch it, giving his person a look when he caught it. "I just can't cause Marinette more pain than she's already gone through, I couldn't live with myself if her pain was my fault."
Author's Notes: Hiya! I'm sorry for the incredibly long period between updates, but I've been in the hospital and without computer access. Everything is fine! I had a severe allergic reaction and had no idea what I was allergic to, so I've been getting tests and treatments, but I'm all better now! So I should get back to updating regularly! Thank you all so much!