okay sorry this took me a few days to get it out, I've been getting back into working on my podcast and it's been a little more time consuming than I expected, but here it is, Chapter 6!
They stayed on Feeloria another two weeks, and those weeks were almost perfect, they worked on fixing what was broken, they helped establish the church, new programs to help people learn, and soon the planet was running smoothly.
When they finally went back to Earth Joy collapsed onto her bed before looking at Rick. "Why didn't you warn me building a civilization would be so hard?" she asked and he chuckled.
"Have you considered doing the whole creation of life and then just ditching them for a while?" Rick asked as he slipped out of his lab coat and hung it up before taking his shirt off and unzipping his pants, taking them off as well.
"I may start considering it now," Joy commented as she watched Rick undress before he walked over to her, pulling her by her legs to the edge of the bed. "Rick," she chuckled.
"Come on, we couldn't do anything with Lyra practically listening at the door," he pointed out and she grinned before she sat up and kissed him. "Mm, that's my girl," he said softly.
Joy giggled as she kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting him pull off her shirt and kiss her neck before they heard the door downstairs open and someone moving through the house.
"It's probably Morty or Summer here to water my plants," she said as she started to push her own pants down.
Rick didn't reply, he just helped her slide her pants down before he hooked her legs over his elbows and started to push forward, sliding his tip along-
They both froze when they heard a knock on the door. "What?" Rick barked a little sharply.
"Dad?" Joy let her head fall back as she sighed and put a hand over her eyes. "Can I come in?"
"No!" both Rick and Joy shouted quickly.
"What- what- what do you want Beth?" Rick asked as he started to lower Joy's legs.
"Well it's been a few weeks and I'd like to update you on what's been happening around here."
"Sweetie, as interested as I am in the neighborhood gossip, I'm gonna have to take a rain check." Rick replied.
"Well, Dad, I hear you but-"
"Beth go away, I'm trying to make you a sibling!" he said, Joy laughing as Rick pushed into her.
"Dad!" Beth shouted, sounding scandalized at his comment with Joy laughed.
"B- Beth, I'm saying this with all the love I have for you, but Fuck off!" Rick replied. "We'll see you tomorrow."
"Fine! But just so you know Summer was caught huffing pottery enamel and Morty wet his pants in History class." Beth replied before storming down the hall, down the stairs and slammed the door to the house.
"Fuckin kids," Rick mumbled as he turned to Joy who watched him. "B-Baby, be glad we never had any,"
"Does that mean you don't want them?" she asked as he let go of her legs and got his flask from his coat and took a long drink of it.
"I thought we talked about that, I don't want to do the whole give up on science, raise a family thing again. I couldn't even do it the first time obviously."
"You never told me she expected you to give up on science," she told him and he sighed before nodding.
"Yeah, when Beth was little," he explained as she sat up and watched him, slipping her shoes off now that she could. "She wasn't like you, she wanted the normal life, and I couldn't give it to her."
"Well," Joy said slowly, crossing her legs as she reached for the flask. Rick handed it to her and she took a drink before licking her lips. "I know that any life we have will never be normal," she explained. "And I know that you and I would have an awesome kid," she smiled as she looked at him before taking another drink.
"I always kinda wanted a son," Rick admitted. "I know Jerry thought he was going to fill that void for me, but the guy was so fucking stupid Baby," he sighed.
"Jerry's a lot of things, full of common sense is not one of them," Joy nodded in agreement. "But I mean, if you don't want kids," she paused as he looked over at her, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
"If this is your way of saying you want them- Baby, I know that women sometimes will say one thing but they- they really mean something else,"
"You think I don't really want kids?"
"I think you want them, but you also may want that normal life," he explained and she shook her head.
"No, I want kids but I also know that there's no way in hell you and I can have a normal life. We're gods Rick," she reminded him as she took his hand, Rick taking the flask back and taking a drink of it. "Gods don't get to have normal lives."
"And that's something you want our kids to live through?" he asked and she looked at him.
"Summer and Morty seem to be doing okay."
"Summer was caught huffing and Morty pissed his pants."
"Oh please, you know that's because of Jerry more than anything else," she said and he grinned slightly before looking back at her, giving her hand a squeeze as he moved it to rest on his thigh.
"You really want this huh Baby?" he asked and she smiled softly.
"Yeah," she said as she looked up at him. "I want us to have kids."
"Well," Rick said thoughtfully as he took a drink from his flask. "I can't promise I'll get it right on the first try, but I can promise that I won't stop trying." he told her as he set the flask on the bedside table, turning back to her and laying her back on the bed, moving to kneel between her legs again.
The next morning the Sanchezes went across the street to join the family for breakfast, Beth sipping her coffee quietly while Morty and Summer stared at their plates while Joy sipped her own coffee. "So huffing huh?" Joy asked as she looked at Summer who sighed.
"So I like to get high,"
"Doesn't seem like the actions of a priest of my church," Joy commented as she cut herself a bite of pancakes.
"What- Grandma Joy!" she protested. "You get high with Grandpa Rick all the time!"
"I'm not saying you're not a priest anymore," Joy waved a hand at her. "I'm just saying you're seventeen, your brain is still forming and-"
Oh leave her alone, it's not like you were totally sober at seventeen," Rick commented and Joy smiled slightly.
"Yeah but I'm not human," Joy pointed out and he thought about that for a moment before nodding.
"So what- are the kids like grounded or something?" Rick asked and Beth looked at her kids who looked nervously back at their mother.
"No, but their school has recommended we go to family therapy," Beth said, looking annoyed. "So I'd like you two to come with us to therapy this week."
"Family therapy," Rick repeated. "Beth, listen, the kids may be going through something because of the divorce, but I don't see how that means me and Joy have to go and- and talk about how that's making us feel, I mean Joy just killed her dad and you don't see her crying about it."
"Rick I cried for two days," Joy reminded him and he shot her a look.
"Well, yeah but you had to kill him."
"Well yeah, he was trying to kill me."
"You killed Castor?" Morty asked and Joy nodded.
"Yeah a couple weeks ago," she explained. "He and Gordon tried to kill me so I killed them and a bunch of the people who refused to stop trying to lay hands."
"Woah!" the kids both said in interest.
"Dad-" Beth sighed before looking at Joy. "You understand why I'd like you two to come don't you?"
"Yeah, of course," Joy said as she sipped her orange juice. "We'll be there."
"Joy- what-" Rick sputtered indignantly.
"We'll be there," Joy repeated as she looked at Rick, the two staring each other down for a long moment before he sighed.
"Okay, fine, we'll be there."
"Great, we have an appointment Saturday afternoon," Beth said and Rick sighed as he looked back to Joy.
"You're doing that thing tonight."
"Fine," Joy said with a shrug.
"Really? Just- Just like that?"
"If it means I get you into the therapy office for your daughter, then yeah, I'll do it."
"Okay." he said as he looked at his breakfast, taking a bite thoughtfully.
"What uh- what thing?" Morty asked and Rick opened his mouth to answer before Joy interjected,
"Trust me Morty, you don't want to know." she shared a knowing look with Summer who wrinkled her nose.
"Ugh Grandpa, gross. Joy is your wife."
"Shut the fuck up Summer, would you prefer I did it with someone other than my wife?" he demanded and she sighed.
"No."
"Okay then." he said simply.
When Saturday came around Joy woke up in an empty bed, sighing she rolled over and saw a cup of steaming coffee on the bedside table, picking it up she sipped it and smiled before getting out of bed and picking an outfit to wear to their family appointment. Beth had insisted they try to look their best so she picked out a nice dress she'd gotten when the world was frozen and hung it up on a hook next to the door to the bathroom.
After making the bed with a flick of her wrist she continued to sip her coffee as she stepped into the bathroom, where she turned on the shower and let it warm up. When her coffee cup was half empty she took off the shirt she'd ended up sleeping in and stepped into the shower, leaving the coffee cup on the kitchen counter, and sighed as the warm water washed over her.
She could feel the warm water working away at her sore muscles- Rick had really taken to the whole trying to make a baby thing more than she had expected and they had spent every night trying hard.
As she lathered up her hair she briefly wondered where he was but she figured he was either in their garage, or in the Smith's garage and that didn't really bother her.
After her shower Joy dried herself off, put on lotion and blow dried her hair before brushing her teeth and then putting on a little makeup.
After getting dressed in the summer dress she'd picked out and putting on some complementary sandals Joy grabbed her purse and walked across the street, walking into the house and helping herself to a toaster strudel.
Beth walked into the kitchen as Joy was squeezing the icing onto the toaster strudel and looked her over. "You look nice."
"Thanks Sweetie," Joy replied as she picked up one of the toaster strudels and took a bite. "Where's your dad?"
"I haven't seen him- he wasn't with you?"
"Haven't seen him. He's probably in the garage," she shrugged before as if on cue they both heard Rick calling for Morty.
Morty walked out to the garage looking puzzled and Joy shrugged. "So thanks again for agreeing to do this," Beth said as Joy took another bite of her sweet breakfast.
"No problem," Joy replied. "I think it'll be good for everyone,"
"Well, I mean, the kids will be the focus of the appointment, but it'll be good to get where they're coming from I guess," Beth said as Joy shoved the rest of the toaster strudel into her mouth and then picked up the second one.
"Sure," Joy said with a mouth full of toaster strudel. "But I think the shrink is gonna want to talk to us too," she pointed out.
"Well hopefully it'll be about how we can get the kids to start behaving," Beth said as she looked at her phone. "Oh shoot, we should go or we're going to be late. Summer!"
"God mom, I'm right here." Summer said as she walked into the room, texting on her phone.
"Okay, let's go," she said as Joy folded the toaster strudel in half and shoved it into her mouth. "Oh- Joy- chew your food!"
"You're not my mom" Joy said with a mouth full of food as she chewed it.
"Yeah mom, Joy's your mom." Summer pointed out, Joy and Summer high fiving.
"Did you teach her that?" Beth asked as she looked at Joy who swallowed the food in her mouth.
"Didn't have to." Joy replied before chugging the remainder of orange juice she had.
The three girls stepped out to the garage to see Morty standing near the workbench and Joy frowned lightly. "Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late. Where's your grandpa?" Beth asked.
"Right here, sweetie. I'm a pickle!" Rick called from the workbench, Joy letting out a groan.
"Oh god dammit Rick, you didn't."
"Oh you bet I did Baby, I'm a Pickle! I'm Pickle Rick!"
"What?! Why would you - Look, we're running late. We have to go." Beth sighed as she started to walk towards the car while Joy walked over to the work bench.
"Where are you guys going?" Rick asked innocently, too innocently.
"You lying bastard," Joy whispered as she leaned down to look at Rick.
"Shut up," he whispered back to her.
"We have an appointment downtown that was set a week ago and agreed upon by everyone, including you."
"Oh, my God. Beth, oh, it totally slipped my mind. Geez, oh, man. I'm a pickle. I mean, I don't know if I can, ooh, geez." Rick tried to sound like he had just realized that.
"Rick, did you do this on purpose to get out of family counseling?" Morty demanded and Joy looked at Rick with a raised eyebrow.
"Morty!" Beth sounded astonished that Morty would even ask such a thing.
"It's okay, Beth. I understand Morty's suspicion. I've misled him before. Morty, turn me so we're making eye contact." Morty looked at Joy who stood back from the workbench letting Morty turn her pickle husband so he was facing Morty. "Morty, I assure you, I would never "find a way" to "get out of" family therapy. I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent the perception of my air quotes."
"Jesus Christ you're such a shit," Joy rolled her eyes with a small grin, not wanting to admit that she was actually impressed by her piece of shit husband at that moment.
"Can't you just turn yourself back into a human?" Summer asked.
"Great question, Summer. The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself. And it could take hours or even days before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form. But, I mean, you know, your mom could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know, if she really needs me to go."
"Liar," Joy mouthed at Rick, Rick shooting her a very obvious 'shut up' glare.
"Nobody needs anything! Okay, it's fine. I mean, you should just stay here and figure out how to stop being a pickle, okay?" Beth said as she shrugged.
"Hey, Rick," Morty said suddenly. "Why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid hanging directly over you? Also, why is the string attached to it running through a pair of scissors attached to a timer? And why is the time set to 10 minutes from now, exactly when we would have left for therapy?" Joy couldn't help but grin at the question before looking at Rick who- if he could have- would have smacked Morty for bringing that to everyone's attention.
"Well, Morty, if you know must know, the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion, and, therefore, it does not warrant further explanation." he said haughty before Beth walked over and cut the string holding the syringe, putting the syringe into her purse.
"Enough. Kids, it's time to go. We don't want to be late." she said as she walked to the car.
"W-w-what are you doing there, Beth? What are you doing there, sweetie?" he asked suddenly seeming slightly panicked.
"Well, I mean, you don't want to get pierced by a needle full of liquid unrelated to your situation. How's that gonna help?"
"Can't argue with that." Rick replied a little dejected.
"Great. We'll see you later. Joy, are you still coming?"
"Oh yeah, I'll be right there, let me just say goodbye to your father," Joy smiled at Beth who smiled back at her before Joy leaned over the workbench, looking like she was saying goodbye to the pickle. "If you do this shit when I give birth I will make you into a sandwich," she said.
"Baby, don't let her break that syringe, I need it to live."
"I guess you should have thought of that earlier." she replied before pushing away from the workbench. "I love you too Rick, see you later." she said cheerfully as she walked over to the car and got into the front seat, Beth starting the car and pulling out of the driveway, leaving Rick on the workbench for a few hours would teach him a lesson she figured. It would be good for him.
PICKLE RIIIIICK