Chapter 6
Loki carried Iris to her room. He had tried to talk to her again about the Avenger's concerns, but it fell on deaf ears. Iris was done trying to reason with them.
"I'm quite capable of walking, you know," she said, huffily. Loki rolled his eyes at her tone. Sometimes she acted like a big kid.
"And you could accept my offer to let me help you train again, build your strength back up," he replied with a sigh. She could hear the tightness with which he spoke. Barely suppressed rage, but from what, she was not sure.
"You know I can't do that," she said quietly. Loki unceremoniously dumped Iris on her bed. She was about to protest, but he sat beside her, staring intently at her. Iris could see the struggle he was having internally. She knew he wanted to say something, and if it were what she was thinking, she would never be able to leave him.
"You're so frustrating, darling." He murmured, leaning in closer. Iris shivered involuntarily, her cheeks heating slightly at his closeness. Iris looked at the wall. Loki grabbed her chin, but not too hard, and turned her head to meet his gaze.
"Don't do this," Iris breathed, little more than a whisper. "Please?" Loki studied her, so intensely Iris thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest.
"There are some things that need to be cleared up," he began hesitantly. Iris tried to pull back, but he gripped tighter. Not enough to hurt, but just enough to hold her steady.
"You had your chance. You rejected me. It is too late, Loki. I waited, and not once did you ever think to talk to me. We could have worked this out, whatever it, IS. It's too late- "Loki claimed her lips. Iris melted, heart pounding louder and louder. She did not break away, not as Loki gripped her face between his hands, not as she felt her hands raise, one in his hair and the other clutching his jacket. The kiss deepened impossibly so, Loki moving her back, so she had to use an arm to hold herself up. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he pulled back, both panting heavily. He rested his forehead against Iris'.
"Don't go," he said quietly. Iris held his face, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze.
"I'm not going anywhere," she said, but she knew what he meant. He looked heartbroken, his face betraying his emotions. It was the most she had ever gotten out of him, and it crushed her soul. She needed to hear those words though. The words that would keep her from leaving. She knew she would not get them from him, though. It made her heart hurt even more.
They broke away completely, Loki looking at the bed. He gave her a half smile, the sadness clouding the forced happiness. He rose, placing a chaste kiss to Iris forehead.
"You know what you need to say. Tell me, and I will stay," Iris said weakly, tearing up. Loki met her gaze, his guarded expression hiding what Iris desperately needed to see, to hear from the God.
"You know why I can't do that." With that, he left her alone. She broke down. She cried and sobbed and screeched. She let her love for the God pour out of her soul. Loki heard her, his own pain stinging the reality of what he knew was next. He had just lost the girl of his dreams, maybe forever. A single tear made its way down his frosty face. It would be the only tear the God would let loose for her.
Iris tried her best to avoid everyone over the next few days. Every time she saw Loki, the pain in his eyes was too easy to read, even for him. He was without a doubt in turmoil, but Iris could not give up the only chance she had to sort out her problem herself. This break away, whether temporary or permanent, was what she needed. She did not see it as running, not anymore. This was her fresh start, a chance at a semi-normal life. Well, as semi-normal life she could lead being a failed H.Y.D.R.A. experiment and all that.
Grabbing herself a pot of macaroni, Iris filled the kettle and put it on to boil. She was running a bit behind schedule, so decided a pasta pot would be quicker, just to avoid the dinner crowd when they came in to prepare it. Humming to herself while she fiddled with the coffee pot, she did not notice Clint, Nat and Bucky coming in, that is, until Clint tapped her on the shoulder.
"-I never want to diiiiieeeeeeeee, born to be wild- Argh!" Iris jumped a mile in the air, dropping the glass container, smashing everywhere. A flash, a scene from a different time now playing before her eyes. She panicked as the shards skittered across the floor, transporting her back to a time she desperately tried to forget about, but the flashbacks were coming more often now.
The glass shattering, the screams from the Agents as they rushed in to sedate her, an angry rampage, the cold of the chains seeping into her skin. The taste of the leather strap against her tongue. She was in a frenzy, her hands shaking, trying to pick up the glass shards, not caring for whether she got cut. Iris muttered incoherently.
"Iris it is ok, nothing to worry about," said Clint, pulling Iris from the ground. It was like she did not hear him, too trapped in whatever was happening in her mind. Bucky placed a hand on Clint's shoulder, indicating for him to let him have a try. Clint moved, Bucky grabbed Iris' hands gently but firmly, and began speaking in Romanian to her. She stopped, looking at him. Iris responded, her voice cracking, tears spilling over. She realised what she was doing and dropped the glass to the floor, brushing her hands off. He pulled her up, bringing her into a tight hug. Just holding her. She sobbed, muttering the same phrase 'ӏmi pare rӑu [I am sorry]' over and over.
"Romanian?" Nat asked quietly. Bucky nodded, tight rage blossoming on his face. The preferred language of communication between H.Y.D.R.A.'s experiments. The three knew what that meant. In Bucky's, few first months back, he had vivid flashbacks, and they had all ended the same. The others would ask him what the things he had said meant, but most of the time he refused to answer.
"Nu e nevoie să-ți pară rău [no need for sorry]," he whispered quietly into her ear. Iris clutched Bucky tightly.
"Am їncredere їn tine Bucky. Trebuie sӑ fac asta pentru mine. Nu-l lӑsa sӑ mӑ urmӑreascӑ cӑnd merg, te rog? [I trust you, Bucky. I must do this for me. Do not let him follow me when I go, please?]" Iris whispered. Bucky pulled back slightly, looking down at Iris' face.
"Ce vrei sa spui, papusa? [What do you mean, doll?]" Bucky asked. Nat and Clint both noted the look he was giving her.
"What is it?" Clint asked, taking a half step forward unconsciously. Bucky looked at them, and it was terrifying.
"Ya dumayu… ya dumayu, chto ona samoubiytsa! [I think… I think she is suicidal]"
Iris was pacing back and forth. She could not believe what she was hearing. House arrest. House arrest. She had to always have at least one person with her. She was furious. She was beyond furious. She could not believe the gall of them.
"I know you're angry, kid, but it's for your own good," said Tony. Iris shot him a withering look.
"My own good… MY OWN GOOD! How many times do I have to say I do not want to kill myself before you believe me? Life might by shit right now, but it is still my life. I like life. I enjoy being alive. I have flashbacks now and again, so what? I have trouble sleeping at night from the nightmares, so what? I have a weird pain and numbness in my legs and see other Iris sometimes, SO WHAT?!" she screeched. They flinched, as Iris lost it. Ranting between English, and Romanian, no one could keep up.
"Other Iris...?" questioned Clint. Iris looked up, a look of pure shock on her face. She had lost it, let slip the one biggest thing she probably should have been more worried about, but had not mentioned as it had been so long since she had seen her.
"It's probably nothing…" Iris said with a wave of her hand, though the looks she was getting told her that this was extremely concerning.
"Do you see another … you, Iris?" Bruce asked slowly. Iris laughed in disbelief, shaking her head at them.
"She sees a version of herself, yes. Demonic, epitome of her inner darkness. Ever since she stopped being able to use her powers," said Loki mildly disinterested. Iris rounded on him, a look of betrayal and hurt on her face. "Your mental shields slip enough sometimes for titbits of info…"
"I can't believe you!" Loki smiled sweetly at her, which infuriated Iris even more.
There was an uncomfortable silence that fell over them then, Iris seething quietly now, ignoring everyone while trying to think up of a new escape plan. Not being able to leave at all would mean she could not even just walk out the front door. The back door was off limits because it was the same locking mechanism that J.A.R.V.I.S. controlled.
"I'm going to my room. Don't bother following me!" Charging out of the room with protests from people behind her. Iris gave them all the one figure salute as she stormed passed the window.
Iris had spent an extra month working on her plan. She had to get them all off her back long enough for her to get a plan of escape into place. Being watched twenty-four seven had become a pain in her backside, but she had finally come up with a fool proof plan. It had heavily relied on her getting enough strength back in her so she could last for a few hours before the weakness and numbness hit her, but it was long enough that she would be able to skip out on the Avengers for her much-needed solitude.
Fixing up her backpack, Iris sighed, lightly tapping her foot on the floor. She had been feeling nervous all week, knowing that today was the day she would be leaving. With one last look around her room, she lifted what little she had stuffed into the bag underneath her junk food.
"You ready to go?" Iris turned to see Bucky standing in her doorway, a look of suspicion on his face, but he did not say anything as she walked past him.
The pair walked in amicable silence, not a hint of a word said as they made their way down to the garage. Still nothing as they met Steve at the jeep. Iris was not surprised to see Loki lurking in one of the windows that showed into the one and only simulation room Tony had built for the magic users.
"You know they'll probably check your bag if you try and sneak anything in, right?" Steve said as the three strapped themselves in. Iris shook her head with a smile, choosing not to say anything in return, for fear of the nerves betraying her almighty plan. She made eye contact with Loki as they pulled out.
They drove in silence too, Bucky keeping an eye on Iris through the rear-view mirror.
"Nici o afacere amuzantӑ, pӑpuѕӑ [No funny business, doll]," Bucky said to Iris, the seriousness in his tone startling her a little. She smiled sweetly to him in return.
"Muscӑ-mӑ, soldat [Bite me, soldier]" Iris giggled, and Steve glanced between the two.
"Do I even want to ask?" he said amusedly. Iris gave him a wary glance, before concentrating at the passing lights. Bucky just sighed, running his metal hand through his hair.
As Steve parked, Bucky went over the rules. The only reason they had agreed to let her out was because she had agreed to take two with her. She was surprised that no one had thought to clarify which two, but she was using it. The one place they would not follow her, could not follow her. She grinned inwardly at her brilliance. They were not going to make it easy, and Iris knew their concerns for her were genuine, but she needed to be away from them. She needed to find herself again, and she knew she could not do that with them all round her.
They got the tickets to movie and were walking round to the screen. Iris jiggled back from foot to foot, as if she needed to pee.
"You alright, doll?" asked Bucky. Iris looked at him, then looked away.
"I need to pee…" she said, turning back to look at him. Bucky realised, and the look of utter bewilderment on his face told Iris everything she needed to know. They had not factored into it at all that she might need to pee. Bucky knew fine rightly that certain toilets had two exits leading to different floors, but he had no idea which ones.
"Did you not go before we leave?" asked Steve, bemused. Iris shrugged.
"Didn't need to go then." Steve shook his head, but reluctantly led Iris round to the toilets, much to Bucky's protests.
"If you aren't out in ten minutes, one of us will be in." Iris nodded, heading into the toilets and pulled out a smart watch.
Strapping it on quickly, she tapped the screen, entered in the number for a taxi company service and legged it out the other door. She walked quickly but efficiently, trying to reserve energy but be quick enough to escape before she was caught. She had set up a wireless transmission for a goodbye video that she had recorded earlier on in the week and prayed it would be enough to keep them at bay, even for a week.
Iris made it in good time to the main foyer of the cinema. She sat behind a small group of teenagers, making sure to keep an eye out for her cab. She was not entirely sure how serious Steve was about following her into the toilet, but she did not want to take any chances. It was now or never.
The beep of car horn sounded, and she went out, just as she saw Bucky coming down the tops of the steps. She blew him a kiss, hopped in the back. The car sped off just as the two men made it out, but there were that many people about they could not risk exposure, as much as it annoyed Bucky to not go chasing after the girl. He ran his now gloved metal hand down his face in exasperation, but he felt a tiny bit of pride at her ingenuity. That face she had worn, was one they had not seen in a long time.
"She played us good," said Bucky with a thoughtful expression. "You have to admit you're impressed too. She learned from the best!" Steve shook his head.
"Shut up."