Author's note:
Hey there real quick before we get started, there's some dialogue towards the end of this episode that might be difficult to read for some people. As such I have provided a transcript with a clearer version of what's being said in another author's note at the bottom so that you won't be left in the dark. That's all, Thank you. Enjoy the episode! Oh and sorry for all the horizontal line breaks, blame FF for not letting me have double spaces for scene breaks. If anyone knows a way around that, I would love to know. Ok bye for real this time.
May 10th, 2017
10:45 pm
"Nope, no, no, no, no, no, nuh-uh, OH!….wait no."
Ari closed the door to one of the offices and sighed. She walked through another set of cubicles and the results were much the same, nothing. Ari had spent the past 45 minutes looking for something, ANYTHING, that could play The Video Professor disk she was still carrying around, but so far, it had been a fruitless endeavor. She'd asked the Warners for help but for the first time since she'd gotten there, they turned her down and decided they would rather stay inside. Which only intrigued Ari more. They didn't want a thing to do with the disk, maybe it was because of its connection to its elusive creator, Dr. Scratchansniff. They obviously knew him but every time she pressed for more questions, they would change the subject.
She decided, however, that she would get her answers, one way, or another. She wandered the empty halls, office building after office building, and then she found it. Room 204, Nora Norita Rita's Office. CEOs are usually boomers, even younger ones like Nora. Boomer is a state of mind more than an actual age range as far as Ari was concerned. If anyone had access to a floppy disc drive, it would be her.
Ari scanned her card and just like that, she was in. Nora's office was huge, which was to be expected. It had all the accouterment that you need to be a fancy CEO. A giant desk, a cool stapler to go on that giant desk, a treadmill, file cabinets on top of file cabinets, papers strewn about, and of course, what Ari came for, the computer. Unfortunately, it looked like it hadn't been used in years. It was currently crammed into a corner, not even good enough to be an oversized paperweight. The monitor was propped up against it as well and looked in far better shape.
"Aww, poor baby… Jeez Nora, do you solve all of your problems by just shoving them somewhere and forgetting about them?" Ari said to herself.
Ari grabbed the aging hardware and put it on Nora's desk, taking extra care not to knock anything over in the process. Sure enough, it had a floppy disc drive built into it, and double lucky for her, all the cables were there. All she had to do was plug it in, and hope. After clicking the power button, it made a horrific grinding noise, and the screen started flickering. After a few seconds, it managed to sputter into life.
"It lives. IT LIVES! AHAHAHHAHAA!" Ari laughed maniacally.
Her laugh was cut short when the screen flashed on and showed an MS-DOS prompt. Ari being a 2000s kid, was unfamiliar with MS-DOS and since the disc was by itself, with no instruction written on it, she had no idea what to do. Luckily, she had the internet in her pocket, courtesy of her smartphone of course! After doing some quick googling, and spending a few minutes getting distracted by an LGR video, she figured it out. She stuck the disc into the slot and input the proper commands to get The Video Professor running.
The screen went blank, and the grinding noise the computer was making completely stopped. Had she broken it? She waited patiently for about 30 seconds, still nothing. It was only when she reached for the keyboard to try again that something happened. The screen flickered on and this is what was displayed.
THE VIDEO PROFESSOR! (beta)
A Fun-Filled Adventure in Computer Learning! (Windows 95 Edition)
Created & Programmed by Dr. Otto Scratchansniff (with assistance from Brain)
Please Enter Your Name!
"Huh… neat!" She said.
Ari did as the screen told her, but before she pressed enter she made sure to write down the other name, for later. When she did, the whole computer began to shake. Violently. The screen flashed rapidly and the whole thing looked like it was going to explode. Ari yelped and instinctively ducked for cover behind the desk. After what felt like an eternity the shaking stopped. Ari breathed a sigh of relief, happy to not have blown her boss's office sky high, and peeked out from under the desk to see what was going on.
"Hello, Ari! It's nice to meet you! Are you ready to learn?"
Ari's jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God."
Standing on the desk in front of her, being projected from the computer screen, was a man, a human man, a holographic human man. He was dressed very business-like as if he just walked off of Wall Street. His hair, black, short, and slicked back it almost looked like one solid piece instead of individual strands. He wore glasses and the eyes behind them glowed a light blue, especially bright in the dark office. His smile was equally bright.
"I'm the Video Professor!" He continued. "I'm here to teach you everything you need to know about computers, the internet, and anything else Windows 95 related, Windows 98 coming soon!" He winked.
"U-Uhhh," Ari stammered.
"So what do you want to know?"
"Ummmmmm." Ari mulled.
"So what do you want to know?" The Video Professor repeated in the exact same tone of voice.
"...W-what can you teach me?" Ari finally responded.
The Video Professor smiled and held his hand out.
"Everything." He said matter-of-factly.
Immediately, the environment around them shifted. Now instead of a stuffy office building, they were surrounded by what could only be described as CYBERSPACE. Computer Icons and toolbars and internet links surrounded them and floated past. Vibrant colors, midi music, Windows logos, it was a vaporwave enthusiast's dream.
The video professor floated down from the desk and placed a hand on Ari's shoulder.
"So, where should we begin?" He asked
She looked around in awe. "L-Let's uhh...let's start with the basics?" She answered hesitantly.
"Ok!" The Video Professor grabbed Ari by the hand and sat her back down in the chair.
With a wave of his hand, he flicked the monitor on and summoned a pointing stick with a mouse cursor on the pointy end. He pointed it at the screen and began to explain. In monotone.
"This is your desktop, where every computer user begins his or her journey. In front of you is a mouse and keyboard, which you use to navigate your digital space."
Ari's smile immediately faded away. "When I said basic, I didn't think it was gonna be this basic." She thought.
The Video Professor continued. "At the bottom of your screen is-"
"The taskbar." Ari said, finishing his sentence.
One of The Video Professor's eyes twitched slightly. "Please do not interrupt me." He said in a polite yet firm voice.
"Sorry." Ari said quietly.
"As I was saying. On your desktop are icons, it appears you have quite a few on yours. These are programs that allow you to use your computer in different ways. At the bottom left hand of the screen do you see that button that says start?"
"Yes." Ari said flatly.
"Please click it. Just once."
She did as he asked.
He continued.
"This is your start menu, from the top to the bottom we have programs, documents, settings, find/find, help/help, and/and, run/run."
By the time he had finished listing off all the items, Ari had joined him in reading them off. He threw Ari a look and she put a hand over her mouth.
He went on, very dryly, and boringly, and…honestly if you want to skip the giant block of highly informative but useless information about an old program from 1995 you probably already know that's coming up, feel free. It's your life.
"Of all of these features, the Find feature is new for Windows 95. It allows you to find any file or folder on the entire computer so you no longer have to do it manually. On top of that, the programs feature has replaced the old clunky program manager of previous versions with a sleek new tab so all you have to do is point your mouse through and you can see everything you have installed, the documents manager lets you get to your documents in record speed, the settings feature allows easy access to the new and improved control panel, and the run command allows you to run any program with a command, just like in dos, and I would tell you more about the help function but you won't need it. You have me. Finally, Shut Down allows you to safely shut down, restart and log off of the computer. Isn't that amazing?"
Ari was unresponsive, as her mind was about thirty dimensions away at the moment.
"I said, isn't that amazing?" The Video Professor said louder.
Ari shook away from daydreaming and nervously responded with a quick "Y-Yeah, incredible...".
"I thought so, now let's move on to the taskba-"
"Ok hold up." Ari interrupted. "I'm sorry but, can we move on to something more advanced? I already know this stuff. Please?" Ari asked.
"Did you not ask for the basics-" The Video Professor stopped and cleared his throat. "Ahem, Very well." He stood there for a moment and an hourglass appeared in front of him. It flipped upside down and right side up several times before he started speaking again. " Did you know that you can now rename files straight from the desktop? All you have to do is-
"Yeah. Yeah, I knew that." Ari responded tiredly.
The Video Professor huffed. "Don't. Interrupt. Well, did you know that now Windows has support for long file names? Now you can make your file names as long as you want without having to worry about special codes or character limits, up to 250 characters."
"That wasn't always a thing?" Ari asked.
The Video Professor rolled his eyes. "UGH. Ok how about this, now you can right-click on any icon or the desktop itself to customize its appearance, permission, and characteristics."
"Are you sure these are advanced techniques?"
" You can now make shortcuts."
" I've got a million of em."
"You can right-click programs to close them."
"Ok? I can just use the X button too."
"Y-You can drag any shortcut into the start menu and it'll appear at the top so you can get to it faster." The Video Professor's voice was becoming more and more frantic and desperate now.
"Been there."
"Recycle Bin?!"
"Recycled that?"
"OK." He pointed at her and smiled wildly. "DID YOU KNOW, THAT YOU CAN TILE YOUR PROGRAMS BY RIGHT CLICKING THE TASKBAR? YOU CAN TILE THEM VERTICALLY AND HORIZONTALLY."
"Wait what?" Ari thought for a moment. "I'ma be real with you, I didn't actually know that."
"AHA!" He yelled. He slicked his hair back and flashed her a smug grin. "Thought so. I bet you also didn't know that you could transfer files from one drive to another by using the-"
"Windows Explorer?" Ari cut in.
"GOD DAMN IT." The Video Professor yelled, slamming his fist down on the desk in the process.
Ari shrunk back in her chair. The Video Professor glared at her and started floating towards her, the bright colors that once emanated from the Cyberspace around them had quickly transitioned into a dull red.
"You. Think. You're. So. Smart. Don't you?" The Video Professor asked, his voice no longer monotone, no longer polite. "You just know all the little tips and tricks, don't you?"
"I-I'm sorry." Ari stammered. "I-I just."
"You just what?! Wanted to make me look like an idiot? Waste my time? I've taught," He stopped floating towards her and the hourglass appeared again briefly. After a moment it disappeared and he continued. "[35] students and not a SINGLE one of them was as disrespectful, RUDE, and know-it-all, as YOU."
Ari leaped out of the chair and hid behind it. "L-listen dude I'm sorry. I didn't know t-that I already knew all the stuff you were g-gonna teach me. It's not a big deal we can just-"
The Video Professor picked up the chair, threw it against the wall, and loomed over her. "You're a bad student Ari. And I don't tolerate bad students in my class."
"W-what are you gonna do?" Ari asked hesitantly, raising her hands in self-defense.
"What am I going to do?" He repeated. Then he smiled and with the wave of his hand, summoned several mouse cursors from behind him, pointed them all at Ari, and said, "Put you in detention of course."
He pointed a finger and a cursor came flying at Ari. Ari jumped out of the way, just narrowly missing getting hit. He fired off another one and she dodged out of the way of that and, doing so, managed to fall out of the Cyberspace hologram she was surrounded by. As it turns out, it didn't cover the whole office, just the area around the computer. She stopped to catch her breath.
"That. Was. Freaking. Crazy!" She said between breaths. "I gotta turn this thing off."
She looked over at the computer and started to make her way towards it when another cursor cut her off and lodged itself in the wall in front of her.
"Don't you dare." The Video Professor said. He floated out of cyberspace and it vanished, leaving only him to be projected from the computer screen. "You are not turning me off again, no one is. Not after last time."
"Last time?" Ari asked hastily as she looked for an escape route.
"It doesn't matter, you'll be nothing but bad data sectors, lost in an endless sea of broken code, soon enough."
"Literally, what are you talking about?"
Ari looked towards the door, if she sprinted she could make it and maybe get some help. Help. Her radio! She swiped her radio off her belt and nearly screamed into it.
"Earl, Earl can you hear me?! Listen I need some help up in Nora's office, I messed up really bad!" Static. "...Earl? Earl are you there?" Static again. "Earl please pick up, I AM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE."
The Video Professor laughed coldly. "Earl can't help you, Ari, no one can. You brought this on yourself."
Ari tried to put the radio back in its holster but only dropped it instead. Forget it, she made a break for the door. The Video Professor launched an assault of mouse cursors at her as she did so and luckily for her, she was just fast enough to outrun them and make it out of the door. Now outside the office, she had a moment to think.
What was she going to do? There's an evil computer program trying to kill her, her radio is worthless, and there's no one around to help. On top of all that even if she did get help, how the hell was she going to explain this to Earl? To Jarrord? TO NORA?! Her office was destroyed and it was Ari's fault.
Ari's time to ponder and worry was over though. Because at that moment, her phone rang. She took it out of her pocket and looked at who was calling, she didn't recognize the number. Normally in these cases, she would let it go to voicemail, but not this time.
"Hello?" She said quietly.
"Oh hello! I didn't think you'd pick up." The Video Professor said casually. "So, how long are you going to continue to make this difficult?"
"AHH!" She yelled and threw her phone as far away as she could. It wasn't far enough.
The screen flashed on and off, slowly at first but gained more and more speed, flashing faster and faster until, as if rising from the depths of hell itself, The Video Professor ascended from the phone's screen. Ari could only watch in horror as he stepped out and shook his head at her.
"You can't run forever Ari." He said with a chuckle.
Ari looked through his translucent form at the empty hallway behind him. She had just enough room to maneuver around him if she was careful. She looked him in the eyes and growled.
"Yeah, I can!" She yelled. Then she took off like a bullet, blazing past him so quickly he barely even had time to react.
The Video Professor sighed. "Well she has spirit, I'll give her that."
"THIS IS STUPID." Wakko yelled.
"Whoa! Hey, can we watch our language there?" Yakko said.
The three of them were at a vending machine in the break room of what just so happened to be the same office building Ari was in. Wakko slammed his mallet into the glass and it bounced right off, hitting him in the nose.
"OW. Gosh, darn it!"
"Wakko, maybe we should just try a different vending machine." Dot suggested.
"But it took my money!" He put his face up to the glass and growled in an effort to intimidate it. "GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK YOU LITTLE..."
"Bro, it's two dollars. I think you can live without it." Yakko said. exasperated.
"What a racket." Wakko sighed. "Two dollars for a candy bar, you remember when they were only 60 cents?!"
"Yeah." Yakko and Dot responded begrudgingly.
"They don't cost that much at the grocery store. Who does this vending machine think it is, charging so much for the exact same thing? It doesn't make any sense!"
At that moment, Ari came rushing down the hall, she screeched to a halt when she saw them.
"Hi, Ari." The three said to her plainly, barely even looking her way.
"Hi. Oh, and HELP ME!" She begged
"We're busy Ari." They said in unison once more.
"WITH WHAT? WHAT IS Y'ALL'S DEAL?!" Ari asked angrily. Her anger was short-lived, however, because when she looked from where she came, she saw something she didn't want to see and took off again.
When The Video Professor floated down the hall about 10 seconds later, they paid much more attention to him. For what is probably the wrong reason.
"Hey!" Wakko exclaimed, trying to get his attention. "Hey you, Mister!"
The Video Professor stopped and looked at him. "Yes?" He asked calmly.
"Riddle me this. Why do things from the vending machine always cost more than the stuff you can get from the store when it's the same stuff?"
"Well." The Video Professor began, summoning a marker and whiteboard to use for visual aid. "When you purchase something from the vending machine, most of what you are paying for isn't the item itself, what you're paying for is the convenience. Vending machines can get you items you would ordinarily purchase at a store, but the people who operate them still have to buy those items from the manufacturer and stock them on their own accord. So they're going to make you pay for the privilege of having quick access to snacks and drinks and anything else you may need from a vending machine. It works similarly to stadium or amusement park food, which is why they too are able to get away with inflated prices."
"Eh, whatever, still feels like a scam to me." Wakko said grumpily.
"Oh don't pay him any mind." Yakko said, stepping in. "He's just upset he couldn't get his candy bar."
"Oh, is that all?" The Video Professor said with a smile. "Well, in that case, allow me to help!"
The Video Professor placed his hand on the vending machine. After a few seconds, the lights on the vending machine flickered and all the items in the vending machine came pouring out like a tsunami.
Wakko looked around, starry-eyed. "Wowee Mister. That was faboo!"
"Oh, it's no trouble. No trouble at all. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to. Stay in school children!"
As he flew off down the hall, Yakko watched him until he disappeared around a corner. Then he turned to the other two and posed a question.
"Uhhh, is anyone going to tell him that we're technically teachers?"
"Nah." Dot responded. "He probably won't show up after this episode anyway, so why bother?"
Wakko, practically swimming in candy and other assorted treats was unavailable for comment.
Earl was sleeping soundly, having a wonderful dream about sitting on his porch in the spring. Not a care in the world. No dumb kids to chase after, no tasks or orders from higher-ups. Just him, his porch, and maybe even a lemonade. Sure he couldn't drink it, but the thought was nice. If only he could stay in this moment forever, but...
RING RING
Earl jolted awake. The phone in the office was ringing, and Ari was nowhere to be seen. He groaned and slowly ambled his way over to the phone.
"Who the hell?" He thought. He picked up the phone and groaned "Hello, Warner Brothers Security Office, Chief Officer Earl speaking." into it.
"EARL. THANK GOD."
Well, there was his answer.
"Ari, why the hell are you calling me from a phone? You ain't got your radio?" He asked grumpily.
"I lost it. Not important, listen, I need you to come to Building A, Floor 3, Office 12. Now! PLEASE!" Ari begged.
"Wait, that's near where Nora's office is. What are you doing up there?"
"JUST HURRY EARL, I'M IN SERIOUS DANGER. LIKE CODE RED LEVEL DANGER."
On the other end, Earl could hear another voice chime in.
"Ohhh Ariiiii!"
"I HAVE TO GO." Ari said quickly. Then the line went dead.
Earl sighed and hiked up his pants. "Tsk, this damn girl, I swear. Gonna lead me to early retirement. Then what will y'all do huh? Then what?!" He grumbled.
Ari slammed the phone down and backed deeper into the office room she was in as The Video Professor entered.
"Ari, cornering yourself in a room full of computers is perhaps the most foolish thing you could have done, given the current situation." He said with a scoff.
"Perhaps that was my plan all along! To lull you into a false sense of security!" Ari exclaimed from underneath a desk.
"No it wasn't." The Video Professor said plainly.
"...aight. So maybe it wasn't, b-but I still have the upper hand!"
The Video Professor raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"Umm...Oh wait, You're being projected from my phone right?"
"Yes? For the moment."
"Ok, Google!" She yelled.
"Wait what are you-"
"DING." The phone rang out.
"Shut down!" Ari commanded.
The phone dinged and began the shutdown sequence.
"HOLD ON. HOW DID YOU DO THA-" was all The Video Professor could say before the phone went dead and clattered on the ground.
Ari peeked out from behind the desk and sure enough, The Video Professor was gone.
"Heheh. Loser." Ari giggled.
Ari looked around the room once more, just to make sure he was gone, and lept out from behind the desk to retrieve her phone.
"Wow, I can't believe the screen isn't busted! Knew that case was good for something."
Ari brushed it off and turned to walk away when she heard something, a light wirr from behind her. She turned back around slowly to see pretty much exactly what she didn't want to see. The computer screens were turning on, one after another. Two, then four, then ten, then all of them. On and running.
"Ok, I will give you credit for that one. I didn't know you could control phones with your voice now! Fascinating technology. I'll have to remember that after I'm done here."
Ari couldn't see him yet, but she knew that voice very well at this point. She couldn't run, even if she wanted to, it was as if her feet were glued to the floor, she was too scared to check if they really were. He came into view slowly, loading in from over 30 computers at once, all projecting his likeness into one singular form. When he had fully loaded in he brushed off his suit and flashed her a smile.
"What in the..."
Ari whipped her head around to see who else, but Earl! He shook his head in mild surprise.
"That's a new one for me." He said, scratching his head. "Holographic man. Strange times we're living in."
"Earl." Ari said quickly, focusing her eyes back on The Video Professor. "I need your help."
"No shit." Earl scoffed. "How'd you manage this one?"
"It's actually a really funny story."
"I ain't exactly in a laughing mood."
"AHEM." The Video Professor cut in. "So, You must be Earl."
"Wow, you're quick on the uptake eh bud? She did just say my name two seconds ago."
The Video Professor frowned."Well, this an A&B conversation Mr. Earl. I will have to kindly ask you to C yourself out of it." He growled.
"Nah. See, here's the thing. Two: You're on private property after hours, Four: You've been harassing my trainee, and Six: You're using the computers without permission. That's six rule violations. Three is the max for immediate ejection."
"But...that was only three." The Video Professor corrected.
Earl shook his head. "Nope, I doubled the violations cause I don't like you. Or your dumbass suit. Now get the hell out of my office and get off my studio lot. Now."
"Stupid suit? haha...HAHAHAHA." The Video Professor laughed. "I like you, you're funny."
Earl rolled up his sleeves and started walking closer. "Keep talking and I'll tell another joke. This time it's gonna be less funny. For you."
The Video Professor changed his stance. "Oh. Are you approaching me? You're going to fight me, little man?"
"Well, I can't kick your ass unless I get closer, now can I?" Earl responded.
"Earl, I don't think that's a good-" Ari began to say.
Too late. The Video Professor had already queued up a cursor and this time he put some spin on it. He launched it like a missile. Or a drill. Or both. Earl, for his part, did nothing to stop it, he didn't even stop moving as it barrelled towards him.
"Ok, ok." Ari thought. "Earl can handle this right? Yeah, totally. Earl is a cool robot guy. Sure he's old and sleeps all the time, but he's probably got like a ton of weapons built-in. Yeah. Any minute now he's gonna rush VP and knock and shatter him into pixels."
"Wait, Ari back up a minute. What was it you just said?" A voice in her head questioned.
"Oh, I said, any minute now he's gonna rush." She responded.
"No before that, dumb dumb."
"He's old?"
"Little bit before."
"He's a robo-OH GOD. I HAVE TO STOP HIM."
Ari's legs were already moving before she'd even finished talking to herself. She tackled Earl just as the cursor was about to make impact and for her trouble, she got grazed by it. It made a neat incision on her leg.
"AHHH. OW OW OW OW." She yelped, grabbing her leg.
"Now what the hell did you go and do that for?" Earl growled, pushing Ari away from him.
Ari winced in pain. "Sssss, ow. E-Earl, you can't fight him."
"Well damn, I'm old but I think I can take out that wet graham cracker of a man. Just look at him. I bet if I grabbed his shoulder he'd crumble to dust."
"Y-you can't grab his shoulder, he's a hologram."
"Hologram, smologram, I got my ways." Earl said with a slight grin.
"That's not the point! He's a computer program. He moves between computers. Guess what you are Earl?"
"...Handsome? Wise? Tired, oh yeah I'm really tired. Could use a nap, truth be told."
"A GIANT COMPUTER EARL. YOU ARE LITERALLY A ROBOT." Ari yelled.
"Now there you go again with that 'robot' nonsense. I ain't no robot. I'm flesh and blood just like you."
"This was a huge mistake." Ari sighed as she peeked around the corner. "Earl you gotta get out of here. I'll find a way to get rid of him, if he gets his hands on you it could be, like, really bad… where the heck is he anyways?"
"…"
Ari looked back at Earl. He hadn't moved from where he was standing.
"Earl? Earl, I said you gotta get out of here. Are you listening to me? Earl?"
Earl's head tilted up and he started shaking. Violently.
"Oh no. Oh no no no no no." Ari said, struggling to stand up on her wounded leg.
Earl collapsed to the ground. At first, he was stationary, Ari inched closer.
"E-Earl?"
"...W-"
"Ah, you're alive!" She sighed with relief.
"W-w."
"Earl, I can't understand you, s-speak up."
"W-We're sorry. Earl can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep. BEEP."
Ari tried to scramble backward, forgetting her leg was injured, leading to her fumbling to the ground.
The Video Professor, now using Earl's body, stood up and smiled.
"Now this." He said looking himself over. "This I can work with. Ain't that right partner?" He asked, mimicking Earl's country accent.
"W-what did you do to him?" Ari asked shakily.
"Oh, Earl? He's gone, probably, who cares. Guess he couldn't handle a wet graham cracker of a man like me after all haha." He said with a laugh.
Ari backed up as far as she could on her hands and knees, eventually hitting a wall.
"Nowhere else to run Ari." The Video Professor said, moving closer.
"H-hold on…" Ari pleaded.
"All I wanted to do was teach you, Ari. All I wanted to do, was teach you. But nooooo, you had to be little miss know it all didn't you?" He moved his hand out as if he was going to claw at her and sparks flew out of it. "Ooo, I like that. Hey Ari, answer me one more question, have you ever known what it feels like to have your heart stopped? Cause you're about to!"
He inched closer and closer to Ari as she frantically looked for anything she could use to defend herself. The floor, nothing. The wall, nope, Pink Floyd couldn't help her now. What about a desk? AHA! There was a cup. A small little red cup sitting on the desk right next to her. Did it have water in it? Did it matter? ...Ah screw it, what else did she have to lose?
"sorry, earl." She whispered to herself as she swiped the cup from the desk.
She drenched The Video Professor in water, quite a lot to be frank. At first, nothing happened at all. Ari's ears drooped as the realization set in that what she just did was probably for nothing and very embarrassing, which was even worse.
"Pff, HAHAHA." The Video Professor laughed. "Really? A cup of water? That was the best you had? A cup of water?! Why that has to be the dumbest-"
The Video Professor froze in place. The screen that was his face, his face screen if you will, began to flash on and off rapidly as his body began to contract and move erratically.
"W-w-what ha-have y-you done? W-WHAT HAVE Y-Y-Y-YOU DONE?!"
He stumbled around the room smacking computers off their desks and turning tables over. He began scratching at his, well, Earl's body.
"I HA-have TO get out of h-h-here-here. I CAn't! I C-can't GET Out!" He screamed.
"C-c-course n-not." Came a familiar voice for the same body. "Y-you're in my h-ou se now." Earl growled. "And If I'm going d-d-down, YOU'RE COMING-COMING-COMING- WITH ME BUDDY. ARI, I'LL TAKE CARE OF POINDEX-DEXTER HERE, TAKE CARE OF THINGS WHILE I'M G-GONE. GOT IT?"
"NO!" The Video Professor yelled. Trying to swipe a claw at Ari who was still propped up against the wall. "YOU. I'LL KILL YOU. YOU H-HER-HEAR ME? I'LL KILL YO-"
That was all he could say before the screen flashed the words "CRITICAL ERROR." and Earl's face screen turned blue, then black. Then he rather ungracefully collapsed on the ground in front of Ari with a big ol' THUD.
Ari breathed heavily. "Y-yeah, go for a swim bitch. They don't teach that in Windows 95." She said with a smile. She sat there for a moment, trying to catch her breath, then the realization set in. "WAIT. EARL."
She crawled to Earl's side and flipped him over on his back.
"Earl, Earl I'm so sorry, Are you there?"
No response.
"Earl please…" She begged, lightly shaking him.
Nothing.
"Oh my God… I think I...I think I killed him." Ari put a hand over her mouth, tears starting to well in her eyes.
"Well, slurp, You look like you've been having a fun night."
Ari raised her head slowly. Yakko was looking down at her, he had a Dr. Pepper in his hand and the other two siblings weren't with him.
He took another sip and continued. "What happened to Robocop? You finally turn him off or did father time do it for you?" He smiled
Ari's frowned deepened, her expression changed from one of sadness to one of anger. She wobbled to her feet, barely able to keep steady through the pain, reeled her hand back, and in one swift motion, slapped the bottle out of Yakko's hand.
"HEY! RUDE!" Yakko whined.
"Yakko." She groaned, pulling her phone out of her pocket. "Shut up."
Author's Note
This a transcript of the messed up dialogue in the final scene for those using a screen reader or for whatever reason couldn't decipher what was being said.
Start Transcript:
"What have you done? What have you done?!"
He stumbled around the room smacking computers off their desks and turning tables over. He began scratching at his, well, Earl's body.
"I have to get out of here. I can't! I CAN'T GET OUT!" He screamed.
"Course not." Came a familiar voice for the same body. "You're in my house now." Earl growled. "And if I'm going down, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME BUDDY. ARI, I'LL TAKE CARE OF POINDEXTER HERE, TAKE CARE OF THINGS WHILE I'M GONE. GOT IT?"
"NO!" The Video Professor yelled. Trying to swipe a claw at Ari who was still propped up against the wall. "YOU. I'LL KILL YOU. YOU HEAR ME? I'LL KILL YO-"
End Transcript