Chapter 6

SANTANA POV

With that, she laced her fingers in mine and led me out of the hotel room and down the street to the coffee shop. Of course, in true Rachel fashion, she's early and waiting for us. From the distance I can see her pacing in front of the shop so I can tell she's nervous. I surprisingly have less anxiety than I thought I would. Maybe it's the calming presence of Quinn by my side, or maybe I've just been perpetuating this fear of reunion in my head. When she catches sight of us, she takes off and sprints to me and throws her arms up to catch me in a tight bear hug. If Rachel would've done this back in high school, I probably would've yanked her off and insulted her outfit or something. Today though she looked incredible. Adulthood suited her. She was wearing a gorgeous light brown pea coat with knee high socks and adorable maroon booties. Her hair was longer and somehow even shinier than I remembered.

"Santana I can't believe you are here right now." She still hasn't let go of me and she's squeezing me tight enough to hitch my breathing, but I'll be honest, the hugs I've received today are comforting. "mhh it feels so good to know you're alive and okay." She finally lets me go and traces her arms down my own until she's holding both of my hands and looking at me up and down; almost like she's making sure it's really me.

"It's really good to see you too Rachel. I owe you, and well everyone, a major apology for disappearing. Quinn here," I glance over at the blonde next to me "made me realize I'm strong enough for this. Plus, I really did miss you."

That made the brunette's smile light up. Quinn reaches out from behind me and laces our fingers together and caresses my elbow with her free hand. She leans in and plants a kiss on my cheek. Rachel's ears perk up a little bit at the sight. I can tell that she was questioning that move by Quinn, but she seems to ignore it for now. We finally make our way inside the café and order our drinks and sit at a table. Quinn makes sure she sits on the same side of the booth as me, and Rachel is across from us. Her constant staring at me is a little weird but I guess I can't fault her, probably because she really did consider the possibility that I was dead.

Rachel begins first, "So is anybody going to fill me in on what the hell is going on?"

I really wasn't sure which part of the situation she was referring to at this point to be honest. "What do you wanna know Rach?"

"Um everything? I don't even know the right questions to ask! You've been gone for 5 years and now you've got Quinn making googly eyes at you." She says the last part teasingly and it makes me realize that there is no hiding what happened between Quinn and I last night. It changed us, and Rachel could tell.

Quinn piped up, "Hey I don't make googly eyes!" She paused and looked at me quickly. I knew exactly what her eyes were telling me, she wants permission to tell Rachel about us. I give her a slight nod and her face lights up. "Well okay maybe I am, but I can't help it. Rachel are you ready for our news?"

"lay it on me, I think I can guess though." She winks at us.

I couldn't help by roll my eyes slightly. Quinn laughs and replies, "I'm moving to New York! San and I are going to live together."

RACHEL POV

I could read the vibes these two girls were putting off the second we reunited earlier. The Quinn I saw yesterday and the one with Santana today are completely different. Not in a bad way at all. Quinn has a permanent smile on her face and her eyes are bright and cheery. If all it took was Santana's company to bring back the light in her eyes, it doesn't shock me that they made the quick decision to live together. I'm obviously ecstatic to have two more old friends in the same city as me. Two more people I love there to see me at my broadway debut!

"That's really exciting you guys!" I decided to test the waters about the vibes they were giving off, "is that the only thing going on? Last time I checked, you two were throwing slaps back and forth and now look at you." I glanced down to see that Quinn's hand was resting on Santana's thigh. I knew it! Something had happened last night.

They gave each other a knowing look. Santana started, "okay yeah sooo turns out there are some old feelings between us that we both avoided."

Quinn joins in, "life is too short for that now. I've come to realize that I am not as straight as I made myself seem all these years. Last night was--" She paused trying to find the right words, "eye opening? Exciting? Comfortable? I can't describe it, I just know I'm done hiding my feelings."

That's when Santana leaned in and they kissed right in front of me. I couldn't help but feel proud that they were putting aside their past differences and being what they need to be for each other. I wonder if Quinn has filled Santana in yet on all the crap she went through in college..

QUINN POV

After about 2 hours of memory rehashing, I could tell Santana was getting a little restless. She hasn't exactly done a lot of socializing in recent years, and let's face it, Rachel Berry is a strong personality to start out with. I politely began the goodbyes process, "alright Rach well it has been amazing to see you again but I think San and I have a whole laundry list of things we have to talk about. Dinner next week?"

We said our goodbyes to Rachel. I watched Rachel's face as she leaned into hug Santana; something was bothering her but I can't place it. I make a mental note to call her later to investigate, but for now I just want to plan my future with this beautiful woman with whom I've finally reconnected with.

We decide that the day is too beautiful to pass up sitting in a hotel room, so we take the subway to Central Park and find a bench to relax on for a while. The whole journey Santana was squeezing my hand for life, like if she let go I'd run away. It broke my heart a little bit seeing how scared she still was. I know I only showed up yesterday, but I'm not going anywhere. Not without her. I wish I knew how to prove that to her.

We spent Saturday afternoon talking back and forth about logistics of moving. I have to give Lennon enough notice to find another person she wouldn't mind living with, so I'll most likely be paying 2 rent payments for a while. With my double degree in Communications and Social Work, I decided I wanted to use my skills to help people. Later that evening I sent out my resumes and applications to many different places: the NY office of child and family services, Children advocacy centers, and I even applied to work as a school counselor.

Santana and I found a perfect apartment for us only a short subway ride from the Dueling Pianos bar she works at. It's a shoebox, but the selling factor was the large fire escape space that had both of us fantasizing about summer wine nights outside watching bustling New Yorkers go by below. It was a one bedroom loft style with exposed brick, that just so happens to be above a used book store. That detail was just another perk for me. We got lucky with this apartment, but honestly I would live in a cardboard box with Santana if I had too.

We had a month until the apartment was ready to move into. I couldn't bring myself to go back to New Haven yet. Until I had to go back and pack the rest of my stuff, I decided to stay with Santana in her cramped studio apartment that didn't even have a full sized fridge.

The first night was the hardest. It was weird being in such close proximity again. I catch myself staring more than I'd like to admit. I just can't help myself, she is absolutely breathtaking. With the admiring, the worrying comes right along with it. I found myself paranoid about Santana's health already. For one, when I tried to make us something for dinner, I was confused to find next to nothing in the cabinets or fridge. There was no food in the apartment at all; a fact that can be explained away if she got takeout every night but even then I didn't see any trash or leftovers.

I get Santana's attention from across the room, "San do you even eat? There's nothing here."

"Yeahhhh you're going to have to help me change some habits...Sue didn't do me any favors in high school with those crazy diets."

I locked eyes with her and tried sending her understanding glances. My heart hurts for her. It physically pains me to see my beautiful Santana like this. She's a larger than life personality, but she's been living the life of someone who doesn't feel like they're worth it. But she is. She's worth it to me.

"You're literally skin and bones, I could tell almost immediately that you haven't been eating right. How about I call into a nice steakhouse and order us some juicy, expensive meals. Mashed potatoes were always your weakness. Still a sucker for a ribeye medium-rare?" She smiled slightly, obviously remembering how anytime they ate steak and mashed potatoes as kids, Santana always loaded over half her plate with potatoes.

When the food was delivered, I watched her intently as she cut her steak and began eating. It freaked me out skinny she really was. I would see Santana's body in the locker room in high school daily, and she always had insanely sculpted muscles carving her arms, legs, and abs. Product of the intense Sue Sylvester workout routine, and a hell of a lot of the normal young person insecurities. Now I can clearly see the details of her shoulder blades, ribs, and joints through her skin. It's impossible to fathom what has been going on in her life that I wasn't privy too. She was always the strongest and feistiest person I knew. I mean, I always suspected it was just a front so people wouldn't find out she was a lesbian. Turns out the girl was just fighting her way through every day; and she was angry. This Santana in front of me was unsure of herself and caged off. I do thankfully catch glimpses of the girl I once knew every once in a while. Every snarky comment or sideways smirk she flaunts grounds me and reminds me that she's in there somewhere.

I must have been staring longer than I thought because I heard her speak, "Quinn. I'm fine, I'm happily eating this delicious meal you ordered. Stop worrying"

"I'm going to worry about you for the rest of our lives Lopez." Did I just admit that out-loud?

She gave me an eye roll with a playful smile back. I can feel myself blush. This girl is doing things to me. She looks at my plate and realizes I've barely eaten anything myself, "and I'm the one who you're worried about not eating?" I laugh and pick up my fork and knife to take another bite. I was actually hungry, but I was way more distracted by the woman across from me to care about my own grumbling stomach.

In just one weekend, Santana has turned my life upside down. She's all I can think about.

When we finally finish dinner and clean up, she announces that she's going to take a shower. Before she does, she saunters over to me where I'm putting the last clean plate away in the cabinet. She wraps her arms around my waist and spins me around in one quick movement and collides our lips in one perfect, epic kiss. It's one of those kisses that sends shivers down every inch of my body, makes my hairs on my arms stand up straight, and causes a butterfly release in my stomach. Her hands are on my hips holding me in place against the counter. Her soft kiss turns more frantic as she brings one hand up to cup the back of my neck and pull me into her even harder. My arms rest on her shoulders and my hands get tangled in her long raven hair.

I'm embarrassed at how much this kiss is turning me on. Never once did I feel so much in one kiss with any other person in my life. My underwear gets damper by the second; the kiss deepens even further as our tongues fight for dominance. I want Santana. Bad. But this is only our first weekend together, and I would do anything to keep from screwing this up. I was starting to lose my breathing pattern a bit from being so worked up and I pulled back slightly. Santana doesn't miss a beat, she just moves her kisses down my neck and collarbone. I couldn't help but moan at how good her lips and tongue felt on my skin. I was at the point where I had to decide what to do next: stop her and remind her we wanted to take it slow, or forget all that and beg her to fuck me. My inhibitions were completely gone and I couldn't bring myself to stop the assault on my neck. I didn't have too, because she eventually did.

We were left completely breathless and staring into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Santana spoke up, "any longer and I would be too far gone to stop. You're just so sexy when you take care of me." She said playfully while tracing my bottom lip with her thumb. I was speechless. Like literally frozen in place. She laughed at the affect she had on my body. God that laugh made me want to kiss her all over again. She left me alone in the kitchen with shakey legs and a shy smile.

The shower faucet turning on brought me back to reality. Shake it off Quinn, geez pull yourself together. After a brief moment to recover, I had to find a way to distract myself. I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table to check my emails. I had sent out a bunch of applications before coffee with Rachel and Santana, (yes I work fast, what can I say, I'm a Yale graduate!) and to my surprise I got a response already. The email was from a private child advocacy center based in Brooklyn. I went online and did some research on the place and I'm impressed. It is completely donor funded, complete with a massive gala thrown every year to raise money. Their mission is simply to be a safe space for kids and young adults who need one, while providing helpful services. The facility and resources this place has is extensive. They have child psychologists on their payroll for the more extreme cases. They even have a big brothers big sisters program for kids growing up in rough home environments. The more I read, the more in love with this place I was. My favorite part of the entire program was the LGBTQ support center and hotline. I called the place immediately and set up and interview for the child advocacy manager position. I may be right out of college, but I know I would absolutely kill this job. It aligns exactly with what I'm passionate about and I see myself helping kids who are a lot like I was when I was their age. I haven't been this excited about something (other than Santana) in well...ever?

After setting up the interview, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself. Then I remembered Rachel's weird goodbye earlier. I decided to give her a ring and ask about it.

"Hey Quinn, 3rd call this weekend, it's a new record." Rachel just has to give me trouble doesn't she?

"Give me a break Rach!" I laugh at the banter, "anyways I'm calling because I'm curious what your thoughts were when we were leaving the cafe earlier. You had your thinking face on."

"Oh you mean when I hugged her?" I simply hummed in response, "honestly it freaked me out how different she looked. I was also wondering if your conversations ever wandered to your own secrets? Because if I know you, you'll avoid them for as long as possible."

That's what I figured was on her mind. I did go through a lot in college. I kept all my problems bottled up until I snapped one night and called Rachel crying. She ended up taking a train to New Haven and spending the weekend with me while I attempted to pull myself together. This was only a few months into freshman year. It was awful. And I haven't talked about it with anybody else. Even my mom found out what happened by accident.

"I plan on getting to that with her eventually, but she has her own problems to worry about. Worse ones."

Rachel sighed, "stop comparing traumas Quinn. Everyone has their demons. You two need each other, it's not one sided. And you know it. Talk to her."

I know she's right, "I will. I promise. Just not yet. She needs me put together. If I talk about that, I'll be the opposite."

"Fair enough, but hey you know I'm always here for you right?"

"I do, of course. Thanks Rach, love you."

"Right back at you Q, see you soon?"

"Absolutely, buh-bye"

I hang up and go back to thinking about the beautiful girl in the shower.