Chapter 6: Acing French Class

No matter what happened from that point forward, Dante would always remember that ridiculous billboard…and smile. In fact, he was still laughing.

Cruising on his motorcycle, which was carried on a procedurally generated holographic road in outer space, complete with it's own gravity system, Dante realized a while ago that the Astral Road was taking him on a predetermined path, and for the most part, he had no control over changing it.

He seemed to be traveling at a relatively high speed—last time he checked, motorcycles shouldn't be able to pass up whole planets in a matter of minutes. And speaking of those planets, he remembered seeing signs labeling each as "Naughty Dog," "EA," "Arc System Works," and even a war-torn world called "Incognito Headquarters." Soon, Dante spotted the one world he came to love and hate: the one with the giant letter "C" stretched across its surface.

"Hmph. Home sweet home."

-X-

The alive and well demon slayer parked outside his shop, having sensed a familiar demon inside. He gave it a rev, smirking as she emerged from the door.

"Dante—!"

"You miss me?"

-X-

"Wasn't a whole lot to talk about. Sometimes portals open in Hell, sometimes they don't."

"A portal? But who or what could've opened it?"

Dante fondly recalled that ridiculous billboard, then shaking his head. "Couldn't have been anyone special. Probably happened by chance."

Sitting on the couch and chatting over a drink, Lucia and Dante got caught up with everything that happened since the Argosax ordeal.

"You've held up well in the demon world," she noted. "You don't even look the least bit winded."

"Time flies when you're riding in style."

"Where did you even get that machine?"

"Killed a demon named 'Kawasaki', and he made himself useful."

He found it easy to make her laugh, sensing a sweeter demeanor in the once gloomy redhead.

"This must be your 'charming side' I've heard so much about," Lucia remarked.

Immediately alarmed by that statement, Dante tactfully asked, "You've, uh…you've been talking about me?"

"Just with the people around town. I had a feeling the pizza place up the street knew a little bit about you." Lucia threw a glance at the stack of empty pizza boxes near the trash can.

"Hm, I wonder what gave that away…"

"Also, a woman named Trish visited one day while I waited here," she added, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. "You two seemed to have history."

"We do," he confirmed. "Good to know she came looking for me."

"I told her where you were, or where I'd last seen you, and she immediately laughed, saying you'd be back soon. To be honest, she's part of the reason why I kept coming back here."

Dante took a drink and smiled. "If there's anything Trish can do, it's inspire confidence."

"Speaking of confidence—why don't you teach me how to ride your new machine?"

Taken aback, he asked, "How is that 'speaking of confidence'—?"

"C'mon—I'm a fast learner!"

-X-

"Okay, now slowly release the clutch—"

"Woo-ooo! Wow, this thing really moves—!"

"Good grief—let go of the throttle!"

"Er…which one is the throttle again—?"

"BRAKE, LUCIA, BRAKE!"

"Oh—would you calm down! We're not even close to hitting anything!"

Riding passenger as his learner brought the machine to a pulse-pounding halt, Dante replied, "Trust me, I'm not worried about hitting anything."

She scoffed. "You really think I'll get us hurt?"

"Not that either. I just don't wanna be seen riding in the backseat—"

"Ugh—you said what?!"

"Switch seats with me! I'll take you for a ride!"

Highly peeved, Lucia stared and reminded him, "Haven't you been drinking?"

"Uhh… Well, you have, too!"

-X-

Dante figured he'd wait out his very minimal inebriation with a quick shower upstairs. It had been kind of a long ass fucking time since his last wash, and just his luck, the hot water was broken, or taking its sweet time, at the very least. Cold showers were better for sobering-up, anyway.

Meanwhile, Lucia roamed his homely bedroom, mainly because he left the door open and never said she couldn't enter. So, there she was, absorbing every detail of Dante's boredom-filled room. Then suddenly, she heard the phone ring downstairs.

Slightly compromised, Lucia decided against telling him, as it could wait. Then, she heard the water stop, followed by a small amount of cursing as Dante must've heard the phone ringing. This accumulated into footsteps and the door swinging open with the toweled-up devil hunter yelling, "Hey, LUCIA—! Oh!"

"Uh, hi."

"Well, never mind. They'll call back."

"Don't you have an answering machine?"

"No. They ruin the mystique of running a paranormal business."

She did, of course, roll her eyes. "I guess I'll leave you to your privacy."

Dante had a "not so fast" reaction to that statement, so he stalled her, "Sure…but whatcha doin' in my room?"

"Oh…just letting you know the phone was ringing."

Something about that story wasn't adding up, but Dante didn't really feel like running the calculations. Instead, he just said, "Maybe one day, I'll let you be my secretary."

"Not for all the benefits in the world."

Watching her take her leave, Dante replied, "Jokes on you. There are no benefits."

She stopped in the doorway. "I don't know how you keep this place up and running. It seems like you need more than a secretary."

"What else am I missing?"

"How about an accountant? A scheduler? A…dietician? Just to name a few thin—Dante! Now, clothes!"

Apparently, he'd gotten less invested in the conversation and more into drying himself off. Watching her fail at every opportunity to look away, Dante said, "What? Keep going. I'm makin' a mental checklist."

Closing the door behind her, she reasoned, "Anyone could walk in…!"

"Eh, they'd probably get lost in all the scenery. It's a pretty big shop."

"You're so reckless!"

"Believe me, it gets worse. So, what part of town do you wanna go cruising in?"

Lucia scoffed. "I don't even know the area that well…"

"No worries. Discovery is half the fun!"

Moving her hair so both eyes could see, she made her request, "I think we have to put the cruise on hold."

"S'matter? Feelin' woozy?"

Woozy people don't usually start massaging under their bottoms to reclaim balance, but hey, anything's possible. Unless, "Not quite."

Feigning obliviousness, Dante chuckled and said, "Hope it's nothin' serious."

"Shut…you're dumb mouth."

"Make me—"

And then it occurred, that Lucia closed the short distance between them, shutting his mouth for him. And then, yeah, she put that on his thigh while his hands went there, and they spoke the same language without saying a single word, and she took this off and pulled down that, and the bed became useful, and then Lucia checked, "You have something, right?"

"Oh—" Hopefully not too rusty, he reached into the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out what permitted him to not pull out. For a moment, he stared at the square wrap, not quite moving forward or backward.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Nothing." And so, he ripped that sucker open and…

Stuck between impatience, intrigue, and ignited passion, Lucia asked, "Are you lost?"

"No…uh, I just hate the next part. You know, actually putting it on."

"Then…put it on later?"

Damn, that means he'll have to pull out. It was too late; he was already agreeing to the terms and conditions, "I guess I'll manage—"

Forthwith, another conversation sans any words occurred, and Dante found it difficult to not think about restarting that cycle of self-loathing, but only at first. At some obscure point in their union, he forgot about being alone and just enjoyed her company. And honestly, that obscure moment definitely happened when he slid it all the way in. This led to that feeling of liberation, which became empowered when she started riding him, and then extra empowered when he threw in some torque.

When he tested that ass with a polite slap, everything about the vicious cycle was keenly forgotten, as it goes. Remember the torque? Well, he dialed that up, applying his arms around her back for stability. Thenceforth, they took it slow, leaving it on repeat until both were energized for doggystyle, and that got pretty wild, what with all the swearing and spanking involved. Hell, Dante didn't even want to keep hitting her, but there she was, begging for another one.

With all that going down, Dante then had a choice to make: pull out now and put the condom on, or pull out later and release on her shapely backside. The longer he waited, the more that second thing became the only option. Screw it—he did not want to waste that condom. He'd already opened it.

Delicately slowing up on the tempo, he tricked out and completed the quick side mission, then taking a moment to admire the devilish artwork presented before him. Very artistic, excellent design. And, with enough silent appreciation given, he went back to not-so-silently showing just how enchanting her exhibition was. And thanks to the newly applied rubber, he needed to get acclimated again, which ended up working in his favor since this process gave him a few more minutes of free pumps. From the sound of it, Lucia didn't object.

However, that grace-period was short-lived, as nothing could change the fact that he hadn't busted one in a longer amount of time than usual. Therefore, he engaged the climax, stroking hard and stroking long until he was pretty sure that condom was at max capacity. Alas, perhaps another time he'd be the one to fill her dark hole with white…semen. Don't give me that look. You knew there was no way I'd pass that one up.

Also, she sucked his dick and they fucked in the shower. Weird that the phone didn't ring again, though.

-X-

Vergil dashed and clashed, clanging swords as Dante enlisted a devil-trigger-stinger with little care for the rapid slashes around him. Then, he looked back and saw Vergil activating his Sin Devil Trigger for another round of Judgement Cut Bonanza.

Instantly activating his own Sin Devil Tigger, Dante dashed left and right repeatedly to avoid the quadruple attack, then deactivating it to teleport and clash swords with his now-reverted twin brother.

At first, Vergil was glaring hard. But then, he couldn't even lie, "Okay, that was pretty cool."

"Been wanting to pull that off for a while!" Dante said cockily. "Actually, no, I just came up with that."

"Figures—you always neglected preparation. Yet, improvising's still your sharpest technique."

"And don't you forget it—!"

They traded more strikes before Dante caught Vergil off-guard with a lunging finisher, slashing downward against the Yamato's scabbard with enough force to send the blue devil flying back.

Panting hard, Dante claimed victory, "That's another one for me."

Knelt down in temporary defeat, Vergil conceded, "So it would seem. I'm just glad we're not spilling our feelings, anymore."

"Yeah, me too. What was the deal with that, anyway?"

"No clue. I'm just glad it's over. Any Paopu left?"

"Any what?"

"Paopu. It's what the fruit is called," Vergil explained. "I know, it's a—"

"Weird-ass name," Dante said in unison with his bro, definitely having a twin-moment. He picked one up and tossed it Vergil's way. Then, he asked, "What kinda demon fruit is called Paopu, anyway?"

Vergil shrugged. "Don't ask me. That's just what some of my colleagues called it." Chewing off a corner, he added, "A professor named Mikado told me about it. Said he didn't know it grew outside of its natural habitat."

"This ain't its natural habitat?" Dante asked, biting into a Paopu of his own.

"Nah—he said it grows on some archipelago he used to frequent. Craziest part is, no one has to deal with the hostile vines over where it normally grows."

"Weird…" The devil in red didn't put much more thought into it, opting to plop down next to his brother on the hellish landscape.

After a lull, Vergil recalled something. "Say…I do remember you dealt with that girl with the red hair. You ever get with her?"

Dante turned and gave a hardcore frown. "Ugh, you think I did that, too? For the last time, I never banged Kairi. That was just some dumb prank Morrigan pulled—"

"What? No, idiot—I'm talking about the woman from your 'Retcon-Mission'."

"Huh? Oh, you mean Lucia? Yeah, we fucked after the mission, and then I moved on. Saw her recently, but like I said, I'd already moved on."

"Hm. I guess. Okay, now I've got a serious question."

"Shoot."

"You ever went down on a girl?"