Everyone swiftly exits Tracy1 which as been parked on the dirt landing strip on the lands of Tracy farm.
We stroll up the beaten path that draws to the house.
My dad and brothers are looking around in I think trying to take in everything.
I had done a lot of work on Tracy farm.
I had fenced in the open field, we used to get trespassers on the land, but with the wooden fence, they can no longer go that and have to stick to the footpath.
I had fixed up the old barn, added a new coat of paint and replaced roof which was deteriorating, we now kept the bails of hay stored in there.
Why would we need bails of hay to you ask, well I had converted one of the old barns that weren't being used into a stable.
We rented out the stable. As of right now we only had Mr Dannebrog from down the road keeping his horses in the barn and pasture while his stables were under renovation.
John let's out a low whistle.
"Your really cleaned the place up didn't you?"
We walk up the familiar white painted porch, before I grab the keys from my pocket and unlock the front door, l turn to my brothers in order to respond.
"Well this whole place was deteriorating away, so I had everything either fixed up, replaced or converted."
Dad's face resembles one of a man who has just been told that the sky is a blue blanket that is being kept over the planet which is just a small globe that's giant uses as decoration in his house that is made of clouds.
I didn't even want to know what was running through his head right now.
My dad likes control and right now that's exactly what he doesn't have.
"My mother adores this place she would never let it go to ruin, where is she? I'm surprised she didn't come with you."
My hand freezes on the doorknob.
Oh my god.
Tin-Tin, Fermat and I look at each other.
Each of us non verbally communicating.
Dad doesn't know grans dead.
None of them do.
Suddenly bringing them to the farmhouse felt like it was the worst thing we could have done.
What am I going to tell them?
It's Fermat that saves me.
"L...L...let's...G...G...Go...In...In...inside."
I'm pretty sure my brothers and father can pick up on the heavy atmosphere.
They don't talk, but their faces know something Is up.
I gesture them to go through the door.
Despite having some furniture replaced and some electrical updating the farm hose is pretty much the same.
My dad and brothers are looking around the house or better yet...looking for someone.
"Alan..."
"Let's all take a seat" I cut off my dad and gesture to the leather sectional.
Fermat and Tin-Tin head through to the kitchen.
"We'll go and make some tea's."
I give them a small nod in thanks.
I brace myself for the conversation I know is coming, never did I ever think I would have to be the one to tell my father and brothers that his mother and their grandmother is dead.
I take a deep breath, trying to put my thoughts together.
"So it must be different being back, well I mean it's probably not even been too long for you."
This time it's Scott who cuts me off with his familiar older brother/mother hen/Air force Pilot command.
Despite it being completely the wrong time, a small smile involuntarily appears on my face.
Quickly as if was there I wipe they off, this of no time to be happy.
"Alan stop stalling, you know what we want to know, where is gran?" I see tears in Scott's eyes, they all have tears.
I'm pretty sure they know what I'm going to say, they just want me to confirm it.
With a shaky voice, I give them the devastating news.
"She's...um..she passed away 10 years ago."
My dad and brothers each stare at me, tears slowly drip down there face.
Then one by one they succumb to the tears.
I let them lean on each other and share In grief.
"How?" My dad croaks out.
The pain and anguish in his voice are nearly unbearable.
My heart painfully twists in my chest, there a lump forming in my throat.
The familiar pain is starting to resurface.
"Well from what the biopsy said her heart just gave out."
Dad just closes his eyes and nods.
"She buried not far from here if you would like I could take you there?"
John finally speaks, somehow able to keep his voice stable.
"Why don't we wait until tomorrow to go see her, let give everyone some time to process all of this."
Everyone nods In agreement.
The rest of the afternoon is spent processing everything.
Dad just sits on the couch with a cup of tea, flicking through the doctor reports, I guess he just wanted to know every detail.
No doubt blaming himself for not being there, wondering if there could have been anything he could have done.
I pretend not to notice the tears that are streaming down his face, if it's one thing about my dad he doesn't like to show weakness.
Once I allow them to process everything Scott is straight out the door, no doubt running. whenever Scott is under stress he likes to run, to exercise, it helps him to get his thoughts together.
Gordon follows Scott's example but instead of exercising he heads for the lake, of course, the water baby will seek out water.
Virgil and John spend there time exploring Tracy farm, the two of them have always been more focused on distracting themselves.
I just spend my time wondering around or siting with Fermat of tin-tin not quite sure what to do, for the first time since I've gotten my family back, I feel like an outsider.
I've already mourned and moved forward, though for my brother and father this is brand new for them, everything is raw.
I don't know what to do?
What can I do?
Knowing I have to let them grieve in there own way, I focus on figuring out where everyone is going to sleep.
Thankfully since we only spend a few weeks here a year there isn't too many belonging from Ophelia and the children.
Plus we do rent it out during the summer holidays so we don't tend to keep much of our personal belongings here.
I want to break everything down for my family one by one, I will tell them about my family but I don't want my dad and brothers overloaded with the news.
Let's just give them time to grieve for my gran first before anything else.
I'm quite shocked nobody has mentioned my wedding ring yet.
The afternoon sun is setting over the hills cloaking the sky in a pinkish orange when my brothers finally return.
By now Tin-Tin and Fermat have made dinner.
Chickens pie with mash and peas.
As I expected nobody was really in the mood to do much talking, so we just ate dinner.
Nobody attempted to start any conversation we all just Finished our dinner in silence.
It would seem that nobody knew exactly what to say, I hate to admit it but I was genuinely relieved when dinner had been finished.
Unfortunately, after dinner had finished Fermat and Tin-Tin needed to fly back to Tracy Island.
"Are you sure you guys can't stay?"
I'm standing on the porch just trying to convince them to stay.
"Alan this is your time to spend with your father and brothers, besides we need to get back to Izzy, we left her with Dad plus we have international rescue." Tin-Tin reminds me.
Their right.
International rescue needs to continue, it can't with all three of her pilots absent.
So with a heavy heart, I watch Tracy1 take off into the evening sky.
Somehow I feel like it's going to be a hard couple of days, maybe even weeks.