The rebuilt Cloud Recesses wasn't quite the same as it had been before the Wen Sect burnt it down. Lan Xichen slowly wandered among the buildings, resisting the urge to hide from the eyes of others. He'd spent three years hiding, but he didn't have to anymore. He was home.

There were other changes to the Cloud Recesses than just structural ones. Many Lan disciples had died, either in the attack or in the war that followed. One such death had been Lan Xichen's own father, leaving a gap in leadership that Lan Wangji had refused to fill. "We would not lose hope that you were alive," he told Lan Xichen. "I would not take your place." Instead, Lan Qiren had continued as acting sect leader, while Lan Wangji had led their soldiers in the Sunshot Campaign. He'd done well, gaining the title Hanguang-Jun. He'd even been able to create alliances with the other clans, when they all grew closer in the aftermath of the war.

And that was another thing that was different about the new Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen thought as he caught a glimpse of fluttering purple robes: People from the other sects visited. It was still mostly members of the Lan Sect who populated the area, but it wasn't uncommon to see members of the Jiang Sect, especially given that Lan Wangji had married their head disciple, nor was it strange to see emissaries from the other sects visiting with some message for Lan Qiren or Lan Wangji. The world had changed a great deal. Lan Xichen wondered if he'd be able to catch up.

He retreated to the hanshi when the crowds, as small as they may have been, became too much for him, and he did his best to feel at home there. The hanshi had never been his, though; it had always been where his father lived and no one else entered, and Lan Xichen still couldn't quite wrap his mind around the idea that it belonged to him now. It was strange, he thought as he made a pot of tea, that he'd spent so long wishing for nothing more than the chance to return to the Cloud Recesses, and yet once he was finally able to, he felt like he no longer quite fit.

On the other hand, though, the Cloud Recesses was where his family lived, and as Lan Xichen heard Wei Wuxian chatter at Lan Wangji as they approached the hanshi, he was glad to be with them again.

"Xiongzhang!" Wei Wuxian cried delightedly as Lan Xichen opened the doors for them. He'd insisted on using the same term to refer to Lan Xichen as Lan Wangji did, and Lan Xichen hadn't put up a fight. It was better than Huan-ge, at least. "We have news for you."

"What sort of news?" Lan Xichen asked, stepping aside to let Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in.

"We're going to have a visitor," Wei Wuxian declared. He accepted the cup of tea that Lan Xichen poured for him, as did Lan Wangji. "Guess who!"

"I couldn't guess," Lan Xichen replied. "Jiang-gongzi and Jin-furen, perhaps?"

"Nope," Wei Wuxian replied, shaking his head. "Guess again."

"I really don't know," Lan Xichen admitted. "Who is it?"

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji shared a look, then Wei Wuxian burst out, "Chifeng-Zun! He's coming to visit you!"

"Chifeng-Zun?" Lan Xichen repeated, a little faintly. "To visit me?"

"He was very taken with you at the banquet," Wei Wuxian told him. "He wanted to come out looking for you too, you know. Lan Zhan and I convinced him to leave it to us, but he wanted to help find you. I don't think I've ever seen Chifeng-Zun like that before. I don't think I've ever seen him like a person as much as he likes you."

"You exaggerate," Lan Xichen demurred automatically.

"No, trust me, I don't. Chifeng-Zun doesn't like most people. Back me up, Lan Zhan."

"Wei Ying is correct," Lan Wangji replied. That would have been more convincing if Lan Xichen wasn't fairly certain Lan Wangji would agree with Wei Wuxian no matter what he said. "Chifeng-Zun dislikes most people. He lets Nie-gongzi take the lead in many negotiations for this reason."

"Which he hates, let me tell you," Wei Wuxian added. "But that's not the point. The point is, Chifeng-Zun likes you, and that's why he's coming to visit."

"When?" Lan Xichen asked, feeling his heart rate pick up slightly. It was foolish to be so excited, he knew. He'd have to spend time with Nie Mingjue fairly often in their positions as sect leaders. He'd have to be able to control himself as he did. Surely he could begin doing that now.

"Tomorrow," Wei Wuxian replied. "He said probably around lunch, but maybe not until dinner, depending on whether or not he gets held up on his way out the door. I guess that happens a lot. And he'll probably stay for at least a day or two."

"Did he mention what he wishes to discuss while he's here?" Lan Xichen asked, trying to sound unruffled and professional. From the looks on Wei Wuxian's and Lan Wangji's faces, he failed. He'd have to work on that before he brought up the matter with his uncle.

"I think he mostly wants to discuss you, honestly," Wei Wuxian said. "And I'm not exaggerating or anything, I legitimately think he just wants to see you."

"Wangji?" Lan Xichen asked, looking to his brother. He thought he could probably trust Wei Wuxian, but he also did seem to be the type to exaggerate.

"Chifeng-Zun has never visited the Cloud Recesses without a reason before," Lan Wangji said. "And his reaction to you leaving his banquet was… telling."

"He's probably in love with you," Wei Wuxian declared.

"We hardly know each other!" Lan Xichen protested, even as he remembered the offer Nie Mingjue had made him back the banquet, to stay in the Unclean Realm with him forever.

"Lan Zhan and I fell in love at first sight," Wei Wuxian replied. "Who says you and Chifeng-Zun can't do the same?"

"Does Shufu know about Chifeng-Zun's visit yet?" Lan Xichen asked Lan Wangji, ignoring Wei Wuxian's question. He couldn't quite think about that yet.

"No," Lan Wangji replied. "Do you wish to tell him?"

"I had planned to see him anyway," Lan Xichen said. "Was there anything more to the message than what you already told me?"

"Nope," Wei Wuxian said. "Just that he's coming tomorrow, either around lunch or dinner, and he wants to see you specifically. Lan-laoxiansheng likes Chifeng-Zun, I think. He doesn't seem to dislike him, at least."

"Chifeng-Zun killed Wen Xu," Lan Wangji said flatly. Lan Xichen steeled himself against the shudder that threatened to wrack him at the name, and he spared a moment of gratitude towards Nie Mingjue for ridding the world of the man. He could see that going a long way towards gaining his uncle's goodwill.

"I hope Shufu won't mind the unexpected visit, then."

"We can go, if you want to talk to him now," Wei Wuxian offered. "But perhaps we can have dinner together, if you want. Either here or in the jingshi, or with other people if you want to do that. No pressure, though."

"Dinner sounds lovely," Lan Xichen replied. "Would you prefer to eat here or the jingshi?"

It was, perhaps, a bit rude not to even mention the third possibility Wei Wuxian had offered, but Lan Xichen knew he wasn't ready to eat with anyone else. Even though he was safe - even though he was home - the effects of three years of hiding were proving difficult to shake off. Lan Xichen had spent three years thinking that being seen might cause his death. He wasn't sure he'd ever fully be comfortable in public again.

"We ate here last time, so maybe the jingshi tonight," Wei Wuxian declared. "If that's okay, Lan Zhan."

"Mn."

"The jingshi it is, then," Lan Xichen agreed. "I'll see you tonight."

"Until tonight!" Wei Wuxian agreed, standing. Lan Wangji stood next to him, and Lan Xichen rose to see them out. Lan Wangji reached out for a moment to grip Lan Xichen's hand on his way out, which was a new habit he seemed to be picking up. He didn't do it every time, but he did it often enough. It seemed he needed the reassurance that Lan Xichen was actually there. Lan Xichen didn't mind; he often needed the same reassurance from Lan Wangji. They were both healing, but the process would take a while.

After Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji left, Lan Xichen took a few minutes for himself before leaving the hanshi himself. He could feel people looking at him as he went to visit Lan Qiren, but thankfully, no one tried to speak to him. Most of the rest of his sect seemed to know better than to do so, ever since he'd very nearly panicked when Lan Wangji brought him home and a handful of disciples came up to welcome him back. Lan Xichen had known them, had known full well they were no threat, and yet his heart had still picked up speed, and he was fairly certain the only reason he only nearly panicked was because Lan Wangji got him to a private spot quickly enough. He wasn't sure if the others in the Cloud Recesses had put the pieces together on their own or if they'd been told to keep a respectful distance, but either way, Lan Xichen was normally able to wander around the Cloud Recesses without speaking to anyone except his family.

He was able to reach Lan Qiren's quarters without speaking to anyone else, and when he knocked, his uncle was thankfully alone. "Xichen," he said as Lan Xichen bowed. "Come in."

"Thank you, Shufu," Lan Xichen said, stepping into his uncle's quarters. "I came to ask you a question about our sect, and to relay a message."

"Relay the message first, if your question is not urgent," Lan Qiren replied.

"The message comes from Chifeng-Zun," Lan Xichen said, sitting down across from his uncle. "He intends to visit tomorrow, sometime between lunch and dinner. He… He hopes to visit with me, if possible."

Lan Qiren hummed. "We have good relations with the Nie Sect at the moment. Chifeng-Zun is a powerful ally. Are you comfortable speaking with him?"

"Yes, Shufu."

Lan Qiren eyed Lan Xichen searchingly. "You went to Chifeng-Zun's banquet, correct?"

"I did."

"And you spoke with him there?"

"I did."

"What did you think of him?"

Lan Xichen did his best not to let any of his emotions show on his face. "He seemed like a good leader, from what I saw of him. He seemed… caring."

"Hmm." Lan Qiren stroked his beard. "What question did you wish to ask?"

"It's related to Chifeng-Zun's visit, in truth," Lan Xichen said, biting back the urge to ask what his uncle thought of his assessment of Nie Mingjue's character. "I'm curious about our relations with the other sects. When I… left, the sects were all far more divided than they are now. How have things changed?"

"Our relations with the Jiang Sect are good," Lan Qiren began. "We went to them for aid after the attack on the Cloud Recesses, and then we aided them in turn during the attack on Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian used to be their head disciple, and he's helped to improve our relations with them even more since his courtship with Wangji began." Lan Qiren made a face. "The boy can be irritating, but he's competent, and he's a decent diplomat when he tries to be. And he and Jiang Fengmian's heir consider themselves brothers, so our relations with the Jiang Sect are likely to continue to be good for the foreseeable future."

Lan Xichen nodded. "I've seen members of the Jiang Sect in the Cloud Recesses occasionally."

"Indeed," Lan Qiren agreed. "As for the other two great sects… Our relations with the Jin Sect are fine. Our relations with Jin Guangshan personally are perhaps a bit… strained, but through Wei Wuxian, relations with Jin Zixuan are fairly good. They get along better than they pretend, if mostly for Jiang Yanli's sake."

Lan Xichen knew some of the strain with Jin Guangshan came from all that had happened with Meng Yao. Jin Guangshan had immediately disclaimed any connection to Meng Yao and his plans, even though Lan Xichen knew he had to have been involved, at least at the end. There was no real proof other than Meng Yao's word, though, and if Meng Yao had been right about anything, it was that the word of a unacknowledged bastard meant very little. He'd been exiled to Dongying, and Jin Guangshan had gotten off without any consequences at all. Lan Xichen didn't know how he was supposed to look the man in the eye when he knew what he'd done, but then again, he wasn't sure that he could look most people in the eye at all.

"And the Nie Sect?" he asked, trying to distract himself from the thoughts of Meng Yao. He did his best not to think about him anymore. Meng Yao didn't deserve any more space in his mind.

"Not quite as good as the Jiang Sect, but better than the Jin Sect," Lan Qiren replied. "I believe Nie Mingjue and myself have healthy levels of respect for each other, and his brother is friends with Wei Wuxian."

"It seems as if Wei Wuxian has done much for our inter-sect relations," Lan Xichen said, keeping any hints of mischief off his face.

Lan Qiren scowled. "That boy manages to make friends wherever he goes. Why anyone would wish to be friends with him, I have no idea."

Lan Xichen felt his lips twitch slightly. "And what of the smaller sects?"

"We have good relations with the nearby Zhoushan Zhao Sect and the Tingshan He Sect. Our relations with the Moling Su Sect are… difficult, but it's not unlikely that the entire sect will dissolve after what happened with Su Minshan."

Lan Xichen nodded, trying not to think too hard about Su Minshan. "Wangji told me there are… Discussion Conferences now?"

"Indeed. The first occurred earlier this year, and the plan is for them to be annual. A way for all the sects to discuss events together."

The thought of having to attend such a thing was horrifying, but Lan Xichen didn't say that. As the leader of the Lan Sect, he'd have to mingle with the other sect leaders and attend large gatherings like that one, and he wasn't sure if he'd be up to it. Perhaps that would change in the future, but at that moment, Lan Xichen thought he would completely lose himself in panic if he had to attend a crowded Discussion Conference.

Perhaps some of that was visible on Lan Xichen's face, for Lan Qiren's softened. "Xichen… I can continue to act as the sect leader for as long as you require. No one expects you to be able to take the position immediately."

"I know, Shufu." And Lan Xichen did know that, that his uncle would do whatever he needed from him. The problem was, Lan Xichen wished he didn't need it. He wished his years with Meng Yao hadn't left him with such a deep-seated fear of other people. He wished he hadn't spent years with Meng Yao at all, that he'd remained with his sect and fought with them. He wasn't a fool, he knew the war left its scars, but at least he would have other people to help him with them. His own scars made it very difficult to accept that help at all.

"I thank the gods every day that you're alive, and that you came back to us," Lan Qiren said, his voice full of more emotion than Lan Xichen had expected to hear from his uncle. "I know you've had difficulties in readjusting to the Cloud Recesses, but it will always be your home, and it will always be open to you, no matter what."

Lan Xichen smiled slightly. "I know, Shufu. Thank you."

"Would you like to stay for tea?" Lan Qiren asked suddenly. "If you don't have anything else to do?"

"I- No, I have nothing else to do, but don't you have responsibilities to attend to?"

"None more important than spending time with you."

Lan Xichen had always known that his uncle loved him. He'd never seen his uncle show it like this before.

"I would love some tea, Shufu," he said, feeling a smile spread across his face. "Thank you very much."

His uncle smiled, and perhaps some parts of the Cloud Recesses now felt alien to him, but this? This felt like home.

Nie Mingjue arrived the next afternoon, an hour before dinner. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji brought him to the hanshi, Wei Wuxian hardly able to keep his face straight. "Here you are, Da-ge!" he proclaimed as Lan Xichen opened the doors. "The person you really came here to see."

Lan Xichen bowed slightly, the shallow bow one sect leader would give to another. "Chifeng-Zun."

"Zewu-Jun," Nie Mingjue replied. Hearing the title in his voice felt strange, but Lan Xichen supposed it was how other sect leaders would properly refer to him. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Lan Xichen agreed, stepping to the side to let Nie Mingjue pass.

"We'll leave you two alone, then," Wei Wuxian said, winking at them. Lan Wangji shot Lan Xichen a questioning look and only stepped back when Lan Xichen gave him a small nod. The two of the left, and Lan Xichen pulled the doors to the hanshi closed.

"Would you care for some tea, Chifeng-Zun?" Lan Xichen asked as politely as he could. He hoped Nie Mingjue was here for good reasons, but Lan Xichen had also lied to his face the last time they spoke, so if he were offended, he would have every right.

"If you want some," Nie Mingjue replied. "And we can drop the titles."

"Would you prefer Nie-zongzhu?"

"I'd prefer Mingjue," Nie Mingjue replied boldly. "Or Mingjue-xiong, if that makes you more comfortable."

It seemed, then, that Nie Mingjue was not offended at all. Lan Xichen couldn't help the small smile that stole across his face. "Then you must call me Xichen, Mingjue-xiong."

"Will you tell me what happened to you?" Nie Mingjue asked, his words blunt but still gentle. "I've only heard what your uncle officially told the other sects, and then a few bits of secondhand information. Will you tell me yourself?"

"I suppose I ought to explain why I ran from your banquet," Lan Xichen said, aiming for levity. He wasn't quite sure he hit it.

"You don't owe me anything," Nie Mingjue assured him, "but I'd like to know."

"I'll tell it over tea," Lan Xichen decided, and he stood up to boil the water.

The story came out haltingly at first, as Lan Xichen told of how he ran shamefully from the Cloud Recesses as it was attacked. Nie Mingjue didn't interrupt until Lan Xichen actually called it shameful, at which point he shook his head and said, "You were doing what your uncle told you to do. You were trying to save the traditions of your sect. There's no shame in that."

Lan Xichen wasn't quite sure he agreed, but he didn't argue as he poured their tea, simply continued on with his story. He told of Meng Yao, and how he'd told Lan Xichen all along that he was doing what he had to to keep him safe. Looking back on it, Lan Xichen could pick out a few moments where Meng Yao had seemed strange, or when things had seemed out of place, but only a few. Meng Yao was a talented liar, after all, and he'd made sure Lan Xichen would never suspect anything.

The story continued, and Nie Mingjue's lips twitched as Lan Xichen briefly passed over their meeting in the woods. He told Nie Mingjue about the preparations for Meng Yao to attend the banquet while Lan Xichen planned to remain home, and then he told him how Wei Wuxian had arrived and convinced him otherwise. He skimmed over the banquet itself, since Nie Mingjue had been there as well, and told him about the few days he, Meng Yao, and Su Minshan had spent heading towards Lanling, and then about how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji caught up to them and broke Lan Xichen free of Meng Yao's spell. "I believed him so thoroughly," Lan Xichen admitted. "But when Wei Wuxian told me the truth… It was all I could have hoped for. I wanted to believe him from the beginning, and I did, but I was afraid… Sometimes I still am afraid that I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream, and I'll be back with Meng Yao, and my family really will be entirely gone."

"It's not a dream," Nie Mingjue said, his voice low and reassuring. "Trust me. This is real."

Lan Xichen smiled slightly. "I suppose I wouldn't be likely to dream you up, would I? I don't think I'd have even dreamed how close the great sects have become."

"We rallied against a common enemy," Nie Mingjue replies. "But honestly, I don't think any of us expected to become this close either. There's even talk now of your sect opening up some of your classes to guests from other sects. I think your uncle has an idea for some sort of series of lectures."

"Shufu hasn't mentioned anything of the sort to me, but I wouldn't be surprised by it," Lan Xichen replied. Under the table, he clenched his fists around his robes. He had a feeling he knew why his uncle hadn't mentioned it. The thought of a swarm of new people entering the Cloud Recesses was enough to make Lan Xichen feel almost lightheaded. He was hardly able to withstand the attention of the normal residents. If guests came from the other sects for lectures, Lan Xichen couldn't see himself doing anything but hiding in the hanshi until they left.

"Are you alright?" Nie Mingjue asked, frowning at him. "You look upset."

"Not upset," Lan Xichen quickly corrected. "Simply… thinking."

"Do you not like the lecture idea?"

"It's not that I don't like it, precisely," Lan Xichen replied slowly. "But… I spent three years thinking that I had to hide from the world, because if I were seen, it could mean death. When I finally gathered the courage to go into the world and attended your banquet, I was discovered, and I thought that meant I'd signed my own death warrant. I know it was all lies, and I know there's nothing to be afraid of, but…"

"I understand," Nie Mingjue replied. "The war is over, but I still haven't gone anywhere unarmed since it began. I have Baxia, and I have other weapons hidden in my robes. I know I don't really need to worry about it, but I do anyway."

"But you were in real danger, even if you aren't anymore," Lan Xichen counters. "You were in a war. I was never in any danger at all."

Nie Mingjue shook his head. "That's not true. You left the Cloud Recesses while it was burning, and at the beginning, the Wens were looking for you. And even if you'd never been in any danger at all, you thought you were. That's enough."

"I don't feel at home here anymore," Lan Xichen admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I want to, I want to so badly, but I don't. And I don't know what to do about it."

"Give it time," Nie Mingjue advised. "And if it really doesn't feel like home, you can always come live with me in the Unclean Realm."

Lan Xichen was startled into laughing, and then even more startled to see that Nie Mingjue actually looked serious. "You mean- You'd actually let me move to the Unclean Realm?"

"If you wanted to, yes. I was ready to have you move in during the banquet, remember?"

"I- I assumed you were exaggerating."

"I wasn't." Nie Mingjue shrugged. "You can do whatever you want, of course, but it's an option."

"I will… keep it in mind, then."

In Lan Xichen's mind's eye, a sudden future played out, one where Lan Wangji took over as the leader of the Lan Sect and Lan Xichen moved to the Unclean Realm. In the dream future, the Unclean Realm felt like home in the way the Cloud Recesses no longer did. In the dream future, everyone was happy and at peace.

In the dream future, Nie Mingjue was Lan Xichen's husband.

Lan Xichen shoved the dreams aside. They were foolish, after all. He had no reason to think Nie Mingjue felt anything for him beside friendship, no matter what Wei Wuxian said. Besides, leaving the Cloud Recesses would be running away again, and Lan Xichen refused to run. He'd stand his ground, and he'd stay here.

Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could even make himself comfortable with that idea.

"Have you visited the Cloud Recesses often?" Lan Xichen asked suddenly.

"Not often," Nie Mingjue replied, looking somewhat surprised by the question. "Only a few times, for official reasons."

"Have you ever received a tour?"

"No."

"Would you like one? You took me around the Unclean Realm, after all. It seems only fair that I return the favor."

Nie Mingjue's lips twitched into a small smile. "Very well. Show me the Cloud Recesses."

It would be a good test, Lan Xichen thought, of how well he could handle being in crowds. Previously, he'd returned to the hanshi the moment he began to feel overwhelmed, but if he were giving Nie Mingjue a tour, he'd have to stay out with him. Perhaps, he'd find that he could withstand the stares longer, if he just pushed himself.

"Follow me," Lan Xichen said, opening the doors to the hanshi and stepping outside. Nie Mingjue followed him, and Lan Xichen led him first to the edge of the Cloud Recesses, where a small house surrounded by gentians had been left miraculously untouched by the fires of the Wen Sect.

"This was my mother's house," Lan Xichen said, giving Nie Mingjue a slightly shy look. Nie Mingjue had taken him to his mother's courtyard, after all, so Lan Xichen wanted to share his mother as well. "It was always surrounded by gentians like this, for as long as I can remember. I always loved visiting her here."

"It's lovely," Nie Mingjue agreed. "What was your mother like?"

"Kind," Lan Xichen said definitively. His memories of his mother were somewhat hazy, and he had fewer than he would have liked, but he remembered that she was kind. "She cared about making sure Wangji and I were happy and having fun, not just learning how to lead the sect. I loved her very much."

"It sounds like you take after her."

Lan Xichen felt himself blush. "I'd like to think so."

"Does anyone live in this house now?"

"No. But Wangji told me he comes to clean it and maintain the garden once a week. I plan to join him in doing so." Lan Xichen didn't mention that he had considered, if only for a short time, living in his mother's house himself. As the sect leader, he was supposed to live in the hanshi, but the thought of a secluded house on the fringes of the Cloud Recesses was an appealing one. But no one had occupied his mother's house since her death, and Lan Xichen couldn't bring himself to change that now. This was a place from his past, but he had to face the future.

"Shall I show you the rest of the Cloud Recesses?" Lan Xichen asked.

"If you wish to," Nie Mingjue agreed easily.

"Follow me, then," Lan Xichen said, leading Nie Mingjue back towards the center of the Cloud Recesses. He showed him the path to the cold spring, and pointed out the jingshi, lanshi, mingshi, and yashi. Nie Mingjue let him speak or go quiet in turns without pushing, and he never asked why Lan Xichen would sometimes falter when he noticed someone watching him. In fact, if Lan Xichen weren't mistaken, Nie Mingjue was doing his best to angle himself so Lan Xichen was out of view from as many people as possible. The effort didn't seem particularly effective, but it warmed Lan Xichen's heart all the same.

The heartwarming feelings weren't quite enough, however, to keep Lan Xichen from noticing all of the eyes that caught on him and Nie Mingjue, and with every set of eyes he noticed, the more he felt his skin crawl and his heart speed up. If he were alone, he'd have returned to the privacy of the hanshi long ago, but with Nie Mingjue there, he didn't want to retreat until the tour was done. If that meant spending the rest of the tour on edge, he would handle it.

"And this is the Lan Sect's famous Library Pavilion, isn't it?" Nie Mingjue asked as they came to a stop in front of it. "I've never actually gone inside."

"Would you like to?" Lan Xichen asked. He hadn't gotten around to visiting the library since his return; he'd given the qiankun pouch of salvaged treasures to Lan Qiren, who had presumably put them back where they belonged, but the library always had people inside, and besides, Lan Xichen couldn't quite look at it without remembering that night when the Wen Sect burned it down. For Nie Mingjue, though, he'd do his best to manage it.

"I've heard it's a sight to see," Nie Mingjue said. "If you'd be willing to show me, I'd like to see it."

"Of course," Lan Xichen agreed, steeling himself. This trip to the to the library would be nothing like his last. He had nothing to fear, not in the heart of his own sect.

Lan Xichen led Nie Mingjue to the door of the library and was about to open it when someone else beat him to it on the other side. "Oh!" the disciple said, looking up at Lan Xichen with wide eyes. "Zewu-Jun! Chifeng-Zun! I apologize."

Lan Xichen did his best to smile, although his hands were shaking and there was a dull roaring in his ears. It was alright, he told himself, everything was alright-

The sounds of clashing swords and cries of combat were just coming from the nearby training field, it was alright-

He didn't have to fear recognition anymore, it was alright-

This person was a member of his own sect, it was alright-

He was safe, this was home, it was alright-

"Zewu-Jun?" he heard a worried voice asking, as if from very far away. "Zewu-Jun, are you alright?"

A slightly closer voice asked, "Xichen? Can you hear me?"

And then, hands he knew as well as his own gripped his shoulders, and a new, familiar voice said, "Xiongzhang. Can you walk?"

"Wangji," Lan Xichen whispered, reaching for his brother. He tangled his fingers in Lan Wangji's sleeves, gripping them so tightly they were at risk of ripping apart. "Wangji, I- I can't-"

"Can I help you upright?" Lan Wangji asked, his voice as even and calming as ever. "I can carry you, if you do not think you can manage walking."

"I can walk," Lan Xichen managed. He let Lan Wangji pull him to his feet, and he leaned on his brother as they walked slowly to the hanshi. Lan Xichen was dimly aware that there were eyes on him, and he was certainly causing a scene, and he must have ruined Nie Mingjue's tour, but the thoughts were like oil on water. He couldn't focus enough on any of them, not with his mind whited out and his body numb.

Eventually, Lan Wangji lowered Lan Xichen down onto a bed, and Lan Xichen realized they'd reached the hanshi. Lan Wangji knelt before his brother, looking up at him with concern in his golden eyes. Lan Xichen hated knowing he'd put that worry there.

"I'm alright," he rasped. "I'm unhurt. You don't need to worry about me."

"You may be unhurt, but I do not believe you are alright," Lan Wangji said with his characteristic bluntness. "You do not need to always be alright."

"Wangji-"

"Will you tell me what happened?"

Lan Xichen did his best to smile, but judging by the look on Lan Wangji's face, it wasn't a very reassuring expression. "You sound like the older brother. When did that happen?"

"Xiongzhang."

Lan Xichen closed his eyes and took a slow breath. "I offered Chifeng-Zun a tour. I believed I would be able to handle it. I was incorrect."

"Something happened at the library."

Lan Xichen's fists clenched around his robes. "I have not visited the library since-"

He couldn't speak the words, but he knew Lan Wangji would be able to guess what they'd be. Since I watched the Wen Sect burn it down, as they burned so much of our home.

"A disciple startled me. He recognized me. It should not have affected me as it did."

"You did nothing wrong," Lan Wangji said.

"Where is Chifeng-Zun?" Lan Xichen asked, sidestepping the statement. "I should apologize."

"Wei Ying is settling things now. Do you want Chifeng-Zun to leave?"

"No," Lan Xichen said, perhaps a bit too quickly. "No, I- I'd like to see him again. Perhaps… Perhaps after dinner? If he would be amenable."

Lan Wangji nodded once, as if the idea of Nie Mingjue refusing was so unthinkable that the matter was already settled. "Do you want me to stay for dinner?"

"I would rather be alone," Lan Xichen said slowly. "I'm sorry, I-"

"You do not need to apologize," Lan Wangji interrupted. "It is your choice."

There was a knock on the hanshi door, and Lan Xichen flinched violently. Lan Wangji put a hand on his knee, then went to answer the door.

"Oh! Hanguang-Jun!" The disciple bowed. "I- I have dinner for Zewu-Jun. Wei-gongzi asked someone to bring it over."

"Thank you," Lan Wangji said, taking the tray. The disciple bowed again, then he scurried off, and Lan Wangji closed the doors.

"Wei Wuxian truly does think of everything," Lan Xichen mused, feeling his lips curve into a small, exhausted smile. "Thank him for me, please."

"Mn," Lan Wangji agreed. "I will pass on your invitation to Chifeng-Zun."

"Thank you, Wangji."

Lan Wangji put the tray down on the table, then he returned to the doors. He turned back one last time before he left.

"If you need me, I will come."

"I know," Lan Xichen said, summoning a smile for his brother. "Thank you."

Lan Wangji nodded once, then he slipped out of the hanshi. Lan Xichen took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then he allowed himself to bury his face in his hands for a count of ten. He was still shaking, just a little, and his heart was still beating a bit too fast, but he thought he could bring himself back under control with some time and effort. He'd given himself a deadline in inviting Nie Mingjue to see him after dinner, and he intended to keep to it. By the time he finished eating, he would be back in control.

And when he finished the last of his food he was in control, if perhaps a bit more tenuously than he'd have preferred. He was still tense, and he doubted he'd be able to manage leaving the hanshi, but he thought he could manage a meeting with Nie Mingjue. There was something about the other man that he found calming, even comforting. If anything, he thought the time with Nie Mingjue might help him gain even more control.

When the quiet knock came on the door of the hanshi, he knew it was time to test that theory.

"Xichen," Nie Mingjue said when Lan Xichen opened the door, sounding relieved. "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright," Lan Xichen said, smiling his most reassuring smile as he stepped aside to let Nie Mingjue in. "I apologize for earlier. I was-"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Nie Mingjue interrupted. "You did nothing wrong."

"It ruined the tour," Lan Xichen protested mildly.

"You had a moment of panic," Nie Mingjue said. "Do you think I've never had one before? I'm not going to judge you for it."

There was a difference, Lan Xichen thought but didn't say. Nie Mingjue might have moments of panic, but his came from living through a war. Lan Xichen's came from hiding from one.

"Stop that," Nie Mingjue said with a scowl.

"Stop what?" Lan Xichen asked, blinking in surprise.

"Thinking whatever unkind thing you're thinking towards yourself," Nie Mingjue said. "Stop doing that."

Lan Xichen's surprise only increased. "My thoughts are only about the truth of the matter."

"Let me guess," Nie Mingjue said. "You're thinking something about how you don't have the right to panic because of some stupid reason. Because you never fought in the war or something like that. Well, you're wrong."

"Mingjue-xiong-"

"I know it's rude, but it's true," Nie Mingjue continued. "You went through awful things, Xichen. You have every right to be affected by them."

Lan Xichen ducked his head. "When do you intend to return to the Unclean Realm?" he asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"I'll have to leave the day after tomorrow," Nie Mingjue admitted. "I can't be away from my sect for too long."

"Then we must make the most of tomorrow," Lan Xichen decided. "Have you ever met my brother's rabbits?"

Nie Mingjue's eyebrows rose. "No, I haven't."

"I'll take you to them tomorrow, then," Lan Xichen promised.

"I look forward to it."

"And perhaps…" Nie Mingjue's voice trailed off for a moment, then he seemed to steel himself and continued, "Perhaps, sometime soon, you could visit me in the Unclean Realm."

Lan Xichen felt a delighted warmth fill him up. "I would love to."

Nie Mingjue smiled, and Lan Xichen suddenly felt he could spend his entire life trying to coax that smile out of Nie Mingjue and consider it a life well-spent. "Then I would love to have you. You can visit whenever you wish."

"Thank you," Lan Xichen murmured. "I think I will."

Qinghe was busy when Lan Xichen arrived, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian at his sides. It wasn't as busy as it had been before the banquet, Lan Xichen didn't think, but it was still bustling, and Lan Xichen felt himself start trying to make himself small and unnoticeable almost immediately. Wei Wuxian must have been able to tell, because he put a gentle hand on Lan Xichen's shoulder.

"We can wait for as long as you need, Xiongzhang. Just like last time."

"I only need a moment," Lan Xichen demurred immediately. He was here to see Nie Mingjue, after all. It had been nearly a month since Nie Mingjue had briefly visited the Cloud Recesses, and Lan Xichen had spent that month trying to get used to living around other people again. He did find that he'd made some progress. There were some places in the Cloud Recesses where he felt almost comfortable now, although there were others he still avoided as much as he could. He didn't think he'd ever be able to enter the library again without remembering how it collapsed in flames. And depending on his state of mind on a given day, there were some times when every pathway seemed haunted by the ghosts of the fallen disciples whose bodies had once littered them. On those days, Lan Xichen wondered if he'd ever manage to be fully comfortable in the Cloud Recesses again.

Qinghe, he was sure, had its own ghosts. He wasn't sure if the Unclean Realm had been attacked directly in the same way the Cloud Recesses had, but he was certain there were gaps among the people, holes that would never be filled. To the people who lived there, he was certain they would be obvious. To a visitor like Lan Xichen, though, the Unclean Realm was free of those sorts of memories, and once Lan Xichen gathered enough self-control to be able to walk among the throngs of people, he was sure he'd appreciate that.

Lan Xichen took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I'm ready," he said, and immediately, he felt Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian flank him on either side. "Shall we go call on Chifeng-Zun?"

"You're the one calling on Chifeng-Zun," Wei Wuxian replied, keeping his voice light and playful as they moved into the crowd. Lan Xichen felt his spine stiffen, but Wei Wuxian continued to act entirely nonchalant, probably in attempt to keep Lan Xichen calm. "I'm here to see Nie-xiong, and Lan Zhan is just here because we're here. Which of the Nie brothers are you going to visit, Lan Zhan?"

"Nie-gongzi," Lan Wangji replied. "Xiongzhang and Chifeng-Zun can keep their privacy."

"Wangji!" Lan Xichen cried, feeling himself blush. "There's nothing we'll be doing that will require privacy."

"There wouldn't be any shame in it if there were," Wei Wuxian replied. "You're both grown men. If you wanted to-"

"Whatever you're about to say, I don't think I want to hear it," Lan Xichen interrupted. He could feel blush deepen, but he also felt himself relax slightly, his posture loosening. It was hard to stay so stressed while Wei Wuxian was incessantly teasing him, which was of course why Wei Wuxian was doing that in the first place.

"I'm not going to say anything specific," Wei Wuxian dismissed. "If I told you about what Lan Zhan and I do in private, I think both you and Lan Zhan would kill me and then die of embarrassment. All I'm saying is, if you wanted some privacy with Chifeng-Zun, I don't think anyone would exactly blame you. He's a gorgeous man."

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji groaned.

"Are you honestly telling me you've never checked out Chifeng-Zun?" Wei Wuxian demanded. "Because I know that's a lie, because I remember seeing you check him out one time when I was checking you out."

"Shameless."

"What's this about Wei-xiong being shameless?" a new voice asked as Nie Huaisang joined them just outside of the gates to the fortress. "Hello, Zewu-Jun, Hanguang-Jun."

"Nie-xiong!" Wei Wuxian threw an arm around his shoulders. "Lan Zhan thinks I'm shameless because I'm talking about how attractive your brother is."

"Ew," Nie Huaisang whined, shrugging out of Wei Wuxian's grip. "He's my brother. He's not attractive, he's annoying."

"Did he tell you to practice with your saber?"

"And he got Zonghui to help him harass me," Nie Huaisang moaned. "Thank goodness you three have arrived. If I'm entertaining you two, I have an excuse not to be training, and if Da-ge is entertaining Zewu-Jun, he'll forget to be mad about it."

"Your brother will be too busy staring soulfully into Xiongzhang's eyes," Wei Wuxian sighed, leaning a great deal of his weight against Nie Huaisang.

"As if you and Hanguang-Jun are any better," Nie Huaisang retorted, shoving Wei Wuxian in Lan Wangji's direction. Lan Wangji caught him before he even had a chance to stumble. "It's no wonder Jiang-xiong always gets so annoyed whenever you visit Lotus Pier. You hardly even notice that anyone else exists when you get caught up in each other."

"That is not true!" Wei Wuxian protested. "Lan Zhan, tell him it's not true!"

"Mn."

"That didn't sound like a very forceful mn, Lan Zhan."

"That's because he agrees with me, but he doesn't want to admit it because it would mean disagreeing with you," Nie Huaisang said. "Do you two want to say hello to Da-ge, or do you want to just wait here while I bring Zewu-Jun to him?"

"We will greet Chifeng-Zun," Lan Wangji decided.

"If Lan Zhan says so, it's probably the polite thing to do," Wei Wuxian agreed. "Then we'll leave you two alone, Xiongzhang."

Lan Xichen pretended not to hear the layer of innuendo in Wei Wuxian's words. Nie Huaisang did no such thing and instead smacked him with his fan.

"Ow! What did I do?"

"You know exactly what you did. Now come on, let's go see Da-ge."

The four of them went down a hall, then through a courtyard. At the other end was what appeared to be a receiving room of some sort, or perhaps a strategy room. A large chair stood at one end, and sitting in the chair, reading something over, was Nie Mingjue.

"Da-ge!" Nie Huaisang called, waving his fan as if his brother might be able to miss him entering the room. "Zewu-Jun is here!"

"Xichen," Nie Mingjue said, setting down whatever he was reading immediately. "You've arrived."

Lan Xichen bowed. "Thank you for the invitation, Mingjue-xiong."

"Hanguang-Jun, Wei Wuxian," Nie Mingjue added belatedly. "You are also welcome here."

"Don't worry, Da-ge, we know we're not as welcome as Xiongzhang," Wei Wuxian said with a grin and a wink. "We're going to go off with Nie-xiong so you two can have some privacy together."

"Wei Wuxian," Lan Xichen groaned.

"And we're going now," Nie Huaisang added, grabbing Wei Wuxian by the arm and dragging him away. Lan Wangji followed after them, apparently unperturbed by the fact that his husband was being bodily removed from the room. Lan Xichen doubted it was the first time that had happened. "Bye, Da-ge, have fun!"

"I apologize for Wei Wuxian," Lan Xichen said into the sudden silence left in their brothers' wake.

"This is far from the first time I've had to deal with him," Nie Mingjue dismissed. "I know exactly how shameless that boy can be."

"He can be very shameless," Lan Xichen agreed. "I thought perhaps he would be less shameless with a sect leader, however. Perhaps that was foolish."

"The thing is, Wei Wuxian is friends with Huaisang, and he thinks that makes him part of the family," Nie Mingjue said. "So he doesn't act like I'm a sect leader, he just acts like I'm his older brother."

"He insisted on calling me xiongzhang like Wangji does almost the instant he discovered who I was," Lan Xichen replied. "Apparently da-bo is too distant."

"Maybe things would be different if we didn't all let him get away with this nonsense," Nie Mingjue said. "Unfortunately, we all do."

"At least he's kind," Lan Xichen said. "Yes, Wei Wuxian is shameless, and yes, he can be… untraditional, but he doesn't mean any harm. It makes his behavior easier to forgive."

Nie Mingjue looked at him, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "You are kind. Too kind, if you're willing to forgive Wei Wuxian like that."

Lan Xichen ducked his head, suddenly flustered. "You flatter me."

"I don't think I do."

"Will you show me Qinghe?" Lan Xichen asked, hoping to change the subject. "Other than your banquet, I've never been here before. Are there things you think I should see?"

"I bet we can find some places you'll like," Nie Mingjue agreed. "We'll stick to inside the fortress for now. There'll be less crowds that way."

Lan Xichen was simultaneously touched that Nie Mingjue was thinking of him and embarrassed that such a thing was necessary. "I can handle a crowd."

"It'll be nicer if there aren't any, though," Nie Mingjue said. "Anyway, there are lots of places I can show you in the fortress. I already know where to show you first."

"And where is that?"

"Follow me and you'll find out."

Lan Xichen looked over to the thing Nie Mingjue had been reading when they entered. "Do you have any duties that need finishing first?"

"None at all," Nie Mingjue replied. "I made sure I wouldn't. Zonghui is helping out. He and Nie-daifu are always wanting me to take a break anyway, so they're glad you're here to make me."

"I wouldn't take you away from your work if there are things you should be doing," Lan Xichen demurred.

"The only thing I should be doing right now is taking you for a tour of the fortress," Nie Mingjue said. "Come on, let me show you around."

Lan Xichen nodded, unable to keep from smiling slightly. Nie Mingjue smiled back, just a little, and started down a hall. Lan Xichen followed him, walking a step behind until Nie Mingjue turned towards him and said, "What are you doing back there? Walk next to me so we can talk."

"What do you want to talk about?" Lan Xichen asked, catching up with Nie Mingjue.

"How have you been?" Nie Mingjue asked. "You said some things in your letters, but I know more must have happened in the last month. How's the Cloud Recesses?"

"I've been well," Lan Xichen said. "The Cloud Recesses has been… much the same as it was when you visited."

Nie Mingjue's brow furrowed in concern. "Truly?"

"It's been a bit better," Lan Xichen allowed. "But… It can be difficult, to be there."

"You're always welcome here."

"Thank you. But I'm a member of the Lan Sect, and I should be able to live in the Cloud Recesses."

"There was a Nie disciple who fought under me when the Wens attacked the Unclean Realm," Nie Mingjue said. "She survived the fighting, but her brother, her closest family, didn't. Even after the war ended, she wasn't comfortable here. There were too many ghosts for her."

"What did she do?" Lan Xichen asked quietly.

"She married into the Jiang Sect," Nie Mingjue replied. "There was a Jiang cultivator that she became close to during the war, and even though her wife was willing to marry into the Nie Sect instead, my disciple wanted to be somewhere else. She still bears the name Nie, and she's still welcome here, but she couldn't live in the Unclean Realm."

"She wasn't the rightful sect leader," Lan Xichen said ruefully.

"Your uncle is a capable leader, and your brother could take up the position instead. He and Wei Wuxian would probably be terrifyingly competent leaders, and also maybe just plain terrifying."

"I would be abandoning them, though," Lan Xichen protested. "The disciple you spoke of lost her brother. She had nothing more tying her here."

"She had other family," Nie Mingjue corrected. "She had an aunt and cousins whom she'd been close to all her life. And she had friends here. But she wasn't abandoning them when she left. She was just making the choice that was right for her."

"I'm glad she found happiness in that way," Lan Xichen said. "I'm not sure if I could."

"I'll drop the topic for now, then," Nie Mingjue replied. "Anyway, this is what I wanted to show you."

They'd stopped in front of large double doors, and Nie Mingjue pushed them open. Lan Xichen heard himself gasp as the room was revealed. Inside was a massive and beautiful collection of musical instruments, from stringed instruments to wind instruments to even a few percussion instruments. Lan Xichen found himself drifting towards the beautiful guqin in the middle of the room, then he froze and turned back to Nie Mingjue.

"Go ahead," Nie Mingjue told him with a chuckle. "Your brother did the exact same thing when he saw this room for the first time. You Lans are all crazy about your guqins."

"This one is a truly beautiful instrument," Lan Xichen said, stepping forward and gently laying a hand on the strings. He strummed a tentative chord and felt his shoulders relax at the harmonious sound.

"Do you play?" Lan Xichen asked, laying his hands across the guqin and beginning to pluck out a melody.

"No, not really," Nie Mingjue replied. "I had a year's worth of lessons as a child, but I don't think much of anything stuck. Huaisang plays some, but not nearly as good as you Lans. He just likes to mess around with it more than anything. Not on that one, though. He's got his own guqin that he can experiment with."

"Where did this one come from?"

"It's been passed down through the family," Nie Mingjue replied. "It allegedly belonged to the son of the founder of the sect."

Lan Xichen froze, immediately lifting his hands away from the guqin. "Then this is a priceless heirloom!"

"It's a guqin," Nie Mingjue replied. "It should be played, that's what it's for. I don't let Huaisang mess around with it, but I think it's fine to let you play on it. You know what you're doing, and you'll be careful. What were you playing, anyway?"

"It's a Lan technique called Clarity," Lan Xichen said, still not lowering his fingers back onto the strings. "When played with spiritual energy, it can calm the listener."

"Can you keep going? I liked it."

"Are you sure I can play this guqin?"

"Guqins are made to be played," Nie Mingjue replied. "Go ahead."

Lan Xichen tentatively lowered his hands back down to the strings and continued to play Clarity, feeding the smallest sliver of spiritual energy into it. He was glad he'd done so when he noticed Nie Mingjue visibly relaxing the longer Lan Xichen played. The tune was beautiful in its own right, but it was its cultivational potential that made it special.

"It does make me feel calmer," Nie Mingjue declared when Lan Xichen had plucked the final note and laid his hands down on top of the strings to silence them. "I could feel that you put a bit of spiritual energy in there, and it worked."

"The effects on the player are slightly different, but I still find that it calms me as well," Lan Xichen admitted. "And at times, that is a very helpful thing."

"Don't you play xiao, as well as guqin?" Nie Mingjue asked. "I think there's a special xiao in here somewhere."

"I do," Lan Xichen agreed, pulling Liebing out of his sleeve. "I learned guqin first, and then when I was older, I picked up the xiao as well."

"Any other instruments?"

"I'm passable with a few," Lan Xichen agreed.

"And I'm sure 'passable' to you is amazing to anyone else," Nie Mingjue said. "Don't forget, I know your brother. I know how your family works."

"I haven't had much opportunity to play for other people," Lan Xichen said. "Nor have I had much time to practice anything but guqin and xiao. I truly don't think my playing would be very good at all."

"I bet it would be, but we can stick to guqin and xiao if that makes you more comfortable," Nie Mingjue said. "Would you play me something on the xiao?"

Lan Xichen nodded, lifting his xiao to his lips. The song that spilled forth was a tune he'd learned from his mother, so long ago that Lan Wangji had been little more than an infant and Lan Xichen himself had been a small child. He hadn't played the song in years, but somehow, it felt right to play it in that moment.

"Your skills are remarkable, as I knew they would be," Nie Mingjue said when he finished and the last notes had faded from the air. "Truly, the musical skills of the Lan Sect are unmatched."

"You flatter me," Lan Xichen said, wondering if he were blushing. "Do you play anything?"

"Eh, not really," Nie Mingjue dismissed. "I can fumble around with some of the instruments in here, but I'm no musician. I like to hear you play, though. You're welcome to play anything in here, whenever you like."

Lan Xichen looked around, eyes wide. "Some of the instruments in here are undoubtedly hundreds of years old!"

"Instruments are made to be played," Nie Mingjue said. "If it'll bring you joy to play them, then play them."

"You offer too much," Lan Xichen demurred. "These are Nie Sect heirlooms."

"The Nie Sect doesn't feel the same way about heirlooms as your Lan Sect does," Nie Mingjue dismissed. "They're valued for their use, not just for their existence. If you're going to get good use out of these instruments, that's the best way to value them."

"I would love to use these instruments," Lan Xichen admitted. "They are beautiful."

Nie Mingjue's face was soft in a way Lan Xichen suspected it rarely was. "So are you."

Lan Xichen felt his eyes go wide. Nie Mingjue's followed suit, a spark of panic in them. "Am I overstepping?"

"No!" Lan Xichen quickly assured him. "I- I simply did not think…"

"Did I not make myself clear enough at the banquet?" Nie Mingjue asked. "I thought you understood me there."

"I- I wasn't sure-"

"Apparently, I did not make myself clear enough," Nie Mingjue said. "Allow me to rectify that. I find you beautiful. I find you compelling. When I knew you as Meng Huan, I was half in love with you already, and knowing you now as Lan Xichen has only made my feelings stronger. Whether or not you return my feelings is, of course, your own matter, but I would have you know mine."

"Mingjue-xiong…" Lan Xichen shook his head helplessly. "I don't know what to say."

"You could start with telling me your feelings," Nie Mingjue suggested.

"When I met you in the forest, it was the anniversary of the attack on the Cloud Recesses," Lan Xichen said. "I normally spent that day grieving for those I had lost- thought I'd lost. But the day I met you, you made me smile. I think I've loved you ever since."

For a moment, Nie Mingjue's eyes went wide and surprised, as if he hadn't expected his feelings to be returned. Then his face softened into a smile, and although Lan Xichen did doubt that Nie Mingjue often smiled like that, it wasn't unfamiliar at all to him.

"At the banquet, you said I may never see you again after you leave. I hope that's no longer the case."

Lan Xichen smiled. "No, I don't think it will be."

"You also said that anything like this would be impossible," Nie Mingjue added. "Is that still the case?"

"It won't be easy," Lan Xichen warned. "You are a sect leader, and I am technically one as well, even if my uncle still carries many of the responsibilities. Any sort of relationship we have will be… complicated."

"I don't care if it's complicated," Nie Mingjue replied. "I want this. I'm willing to face the complications."

Lan Xichen smiled slightly. "Well, at least we won't have to face them alone."

Nie Mingjue beamed at him. "We won't have to face anything alone, not anymore."

Lan Xichen thought back on the loneliness he'd felt in the past three years. He thought on how often he felt terrified and forsaken. He thought on how often he wished there could be someone with him, to stand by his side and keep him safe without keeping him hidden. He thought on how desperately sad he had been.

He didn't think he would ever feel that way again. He didn't think the people who loved him would allow it.

"I look forward to it."