Disclaimer: All but Lyra belong to Sarah J Maas
The townhouse was homier. As soon as Lyra had stepped inside on shaking legs, a result of fucking flying here in Rhysand's arms, she felt more at home here then she had in weeks. It was someplace lived in. Someplace loved.
She took in the wood slatted foyer, the living room with those oddly shaped couches that she now realized were meant to accommodate wings, toward the dining room with a smaller, more intimate table. Amren sat in one of the couches, dwarfed by the massive cushions and she gave a flick of a nod as her only way of greeting. Mor was being flown in by Azriel, who would then return and bring in Cassian.
Not being carried as she had, but instead brought through the shadows by Azriel, some kind of magic he alone could do. Azriel had joked of flying his brother, but the steely glare he got in return almost had Lyra wondering if he would punch the Shadowsinger. He still wasn't able to use his wings as they weren't mended enough, though he looked a lot better than even the weeks before when she had first met him. Less bandages were taped to his wings, more of the membrane between joints visible and unmarred. He had more color too, his face less strained.
Cassian often came to join her when she did venture from her rooms, eating meals or sometimes even playing cards and games with her to stave off the boredom and his restlessness. Lyra had grown to like him over the last few weeks, enjoying the kind and easy way he had about him. He was easy to laugh, was happy to distract her when she did sometimes begin to spiral and made it clear that if she ever did wish to talk about the darker parts of her past or what was happening with her, he was there. And despite his lightness, she saw something in his eyes sometimes, saw a sweeping pain that let her know he could and would be able to shoulder any of it if she did talk with him. He knew pain, perhaps the same kind she had, in his 500 something years.
Lyra heard the beating of wings outside, loud and booming as Azriel and Mor landed. Mor swept in, fixing her blonde waves, and dressed in a beautiful red dress with beads and glittering stones swirling through it. Lyra looked down at herself, in her oversized shirt and leggings, feeling completely underdressed. She had been told by Mor it was a casual dinner, though what that meant to her, Lyra wasn't sure.
She couldn't fault Mor for wanting to wear the dress. She looked damn good in it.
"Casual attire, huh?" Lyra teased and Mor flashed her a smile, shrugging.
"It's new. I got it when I found your clothes. Couldn't help myself." Mor said, chuckling lightly as she smoothed out the dress against her flat stomach.
"It is beautiful." Lyra said, earning a happy grin from Mor.
"I could grab you a couple dresses if you want." Mor said, excitement glittering in her eyes at the prospect.
"No, I'm good." Lyra said immediately, quickly shaking her head. "I'm not much of a dress person."
Amren barked out a laugh as Mor deflated a bit. "I don't think Mor knows the meaning of that."
"Not all of us like to wear nothing but the same outfit it different shades of grey, Amren." Mor tutted, earning a huff from the tiny woman. Lyra still felt that shiver of nervousness when around her but found that the power had become like a feint buzzing in the background. She was aware of it, but it didn't grate against her like it had when she first met her.
Rhysand entered, wings gone, followed by Cassian and Azriel. Cassian's casual wear made her feel slightly better, though Rhysand wore his immaculate clothes of black and silver and Azriel had put on a nice shirt and pants. He and Cassian still wore those blue and red stones, sitting atop each of their hands. She hadn't asked what they were or what they did, but she guessed it wasn't a fashion choice for the two.
It most likely had to do with magic, which no longer sent her spiraling into fear and retreating to her room for days at a time, but still made her uneasy. She had come to accept her reality here, though she did sometimes get that sneaking fear that this was an elaborate illusion spun in her head. It was like a little whisper in the back of her mind, trailing her. She wondered if it would ever go away.
"I do like the house." Lyra commented and she saw Mor's eyes softened as she came closer.
"This place is home." She said and as she looked around, Lyra could see the truth of it in her eyes. The love there. "You feel alright here?" Mor asked, looking at her with a bit of worry.
"Yeah." She said truthfully. "I can feel people, like I do in the House. But it's... muffled."
"Probably the wards around the house." Rhysand said, heading toward the dining area where she saw his hand move and glasses and an amber liquid appeared, which she guessed was alcohol. He poured some for himself and Cassian quickly followed over, grabbing the bottle for himself. He took a swig straight from it, which sent Mor sputtering in offense.
"That was for all of us!" She hissed, giving him a glare as he just winked and extended it toward her.
"Go ahead." He taunted, shaking it at her as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"I doubt Lyra wants to drink after you. 10 seconds in and she's going to think we're a bunch of heathens." Mor muttered, rolling her eyes at him before he took another swig.
"It's alright. I don't want any." Lyra said, her lips twitching at the exchange. They were like siblings, quarreling over what was there's.
She heard Azriel sigh behind her, that same sigh of annoyance she had heard the first night she had eaten dinner with them. She glanced at him, finding that same look on his face as well. She supposed 500 years of their antics would do that.
"If you brought her to this dinner to think otherwise, you should have left the dogs at home." Amren sniffed, those silver eyes flicking between Cassian and Mor. Cassian only flashed her a cocky grin.
"Lyra already knows how I am. We've dined together plenty, stuck up there in the House." Cassian said, taking another swig before Mor yanked it from his hands. Despite the joke, she heard a bit of bitterness in his voice. She didn't know the extent of his injuries, but from the way his wings had been heavily bandaged, she guess they were bad. Someone like him, wild and restless, couldn't be doing well stuck healing.
"Poor Lyra." Mor teased, before taking a swig herself and earning a laugh from Cassian. "Do you want some wine? We have plenty of other things that aren't tainted by Cassian." Mor offered her.
"Wine would be good." She said, seating herself on one of the chairs. Azriel sat in another near Amren, his wings shifting before they draped over the back of the it. His shadows were lighter than usual, only just visible around the apex of his wings and along the knuckles of his hand. Lyra hadn't seen him since the day before when she had touched one of them and she had wondered briefly when he hadn't come to breakfast with her and Cassian that morning if he had been avoiding her. If her worry that his shadows had whispered something about her in those moments had been correct. She had missed him that morning, his absence making her sadder than she thought it would. She had grown used to him in these weeks and he always provided a quiet comfort when he was around.
He hadn't even really looked at her when he and Rhysand had arrived to take them to dinner. It was why she had chosen to fly with Rhysand instead of him to the house, unable to stomach forcing herself on him when he was clearly uncomfortable with her. With whatever her power was.
Mor handed her a glass of wine before dropping down in the chair next to her and sipping her own glass. Amren hadn't been offered, though she didn't seem to care as she sat picking at her painted nails.
Lyra took a sip, the fruity taste hitting her tongue. It was good, better than any wine she had had before. All the food and drinks were always amazing here and she wondered if the magic had somehow made the taste richer.
"I'm glad you agreed to come tonight." Rhysand said, looking to Lyra as he took his own seat. "I know being cooped up in the House can be boring."
"It's been alright. I've been beating Cassian at cards." Lyra said, earning a chuckle from the winged man as he sipped at his drink, now from a glass.
"If you ever wish to come down if no one is there you can send word with one of the servants and one of us can come." Rhysand assured her and she smiled at him in thanks.
"I'm still getting used to people and how everything... feels." She muttered, still hating how odd that sounded. "So being up there has been good."
"Feels?" Amren asked, pulling herself away from her nails to look toward Lyra with those swirling, smoky eyes. "You feel them all the time?"
"Yes." Lyra said, shifting a bit under Amren's gaze. She studied her, those eyes seeming to look beyond her flesh to whatever was beneath.
"You should train with me, girl." Amren said, leaning back in the chair again, eyes narrowed. "I can help to control it. Wield it."
Lyra stiffened, the words sending a jolt of fear down her spine. Wield it. It was one thing to know she had a power, it was another to do something with it.
The image of that glowing glass went through her mind. It made her feel sick. She didn't want to use whatever it was. If anything, she wanted it gone. It was bad enough to get this body, but to have some power, especially one from the Book, too? She hated it.
"I don't want to wield it." Lyra said, her voice clipped. The others were watching them both carefully, clearly both curious about her power and worried discussing it would send her spiraling. She could see Mor frowning at Amren, displeased that the tiny woman had brought it up.
Amren was about to say something else, but Cassian interrupted, leaning in toward Lyra like he almost wanted to jump between them. "You can train with me instead." He said, flashing her an easy smile as she turned her attention away from Amren. "To fight, I mean. To defend yourself."
"I'm not real... physical." She said, relaxing at the change of conversation. Amren looked as though she wanted to push, but Rhysand gave her a look, something passing between them before she flashed her teeth and leaned back in her chair. Displeased, but letting it go. "I was one of the kids who always skipped PE."
Cassian gave her a confused look, along with the others. "Uh, sorry. Physical Education. It was a class in school. Point is, I was bad at it."
"I'm a good teacher." Cassian said, leaning back again. "It can't hurt to learn some basics. You never know when you need it."
She heard the unspoken words there. Remembered that a war was coming. She had been brought here by the very person trying to start that war.
"I'll... try it." She said, thinking of that crazed man who had pulled at her after coming from the water. How she had struggled to get free. If he or anyone else came again, she wouldn't be able to defend herself against them. She didn't want to use that unnatural power, but perhaps she could use this new body. "I can't promise I'll stick with it."
Cassian nodded, looking pleased with himself as he took another drink.
"You are not fully healed." Azriel pointed out, which wiped the smile off Cassian's face as he glared at his brother. Azriel stared right back.
"I'm healed enough to coach her through the basics." He said, a slight snarl in his words.
"The basics with no demonstrations." Rhysand warned and Lyra heard the finality in his words. Cassian rolled his eyes, about to argue when two twins appeared in the doorway to the dining room. Lyra stared, surprise running through her when she saw they weren't fully translucent, more smoke than full flesh as they looked to Rhysand.
"Dinner is ready." One said, their voice low. They backed away when Rhysand stood, seeming to disappear in a breeze of smoke.
"Please tell me they aren't ghosts." Lyra muttered, staring with wide eyes at the spot they had been. "Because I'm still wrapping my mind around Fae and I'm not sure I could handle that."
Cassian laughed, laying a warm hand on her shoulder. "No, they're High Fae too. Their mother was a wraith." He explained, though the words did little to help as Lyra followed him to the dining room.
"Course." Lyra muttered, shaking her head as she chose a seat next to Mor, who reached over and squeezed her knee gently. A gentle reminder she was there for her if she needed. Lyra swallowed thickly, giving her a smile in return.
Azriel sat across from her and she felt herself blush when she actually caught his eye. His face was unreadable, as it usually was, but she saw him look away quickly. She frowned, that pain bubbling in her stomach.
Rhysand flicked his hand, this time the alcohol disappearing and the piles of food replacing it. Lyra and the others began to pile food onto their plate, save for Amren, who instead grabbed for the single red goblet that had appeared in front of her. She sniffed it delicately, a feline smile crossing her face before she sipped at it.
Lyra didn't want to know what was in it. She was sure it wasn't wine.
She focused herself on grabbing her own food, the plates and glasses tinkling as they all passed things around and filled them up. After they all had gotten what they wanted, Rhysand looked to Lyra, curiosity in his violet eyes as he asked, "So you had a whole class in your schooling for physical education?"
"Yeah. We learned sports and went to weights and were forced to run a mile." She muttered, taking a bite of some roasted potatoes with cheese on them and had to restrain herself from humming in pleasure. "Like I said though, I usually skipped."
"Are you a scholar then?" Cassian asked, stuffing a mouthful of chicken into his mouth.
Lyra let out a snort before she could stop herself, earning an amused look from both Cassian and Mor. "Sorry, but God, no." She laughed. "I was lucky I made it into college."
Confused looks again and she was struck again by how vastly different this world was.
"We have to go to school from age 5 to 18. After that it's voluntary. You go to college to get degrees… like specific areas of study to get a job." She explained, eating some of the chicken. "There is some jobs that will take just four years, sometimes you have to go longer, like 6 or 8 years. I'm going for… or was going for nursing. Like healing."
Was going for. The words settled in her like a heavy stone. In the chaos of everything else, she hadn't really thought of college. All that work to straighten out her life, to make something of herself… gone.
"How old are you?" Azriel asked, surprising her. His eyes were soft as though he could see where her mind was going, which shocked her considering how odd he seemed to be these last couple days.
"25." Lyra said and she realized how then how incredibly young she was compared to everyone in this room. She couldn't imagine having lived 500 years. Her mind couldn't wrap around the length of it, how one would fill that span of life.
They spent the rest of the night chatting, with Lyra asking questions about both this court and the world beyond it and they asked more from her, though the questions remained more surface questions about her world instead of in depth about her life. They seemed to sense that doing so would bring up things she wasn't ready to talk about. No one else pushed more information about the war or Hybern on her either, though some of the topics came close. She shied away from them quickly, not wanting to inevitably end up back to discussing herself and how she had gotten here.
She learned more about the group dynamic than anything. Cassian was one of the loudest in the group, but she noticed he seemed to do so more as a distraction or to take the brunt of something unpleasant from someone else, as he had with Lyra when Amren had asked about her powers. Feyre had been mentioned in passing, causing Rhysand to stiffen and there was Cassian, making a teasing remark to Mor to quickly change the subject. Rhysand was more serious, though if that was from his worry for his mate and not his general attitude, Lyra wasn't sure. He was sly and sarcastic as well, showing off a wicked sense of humor that was often directed back at Cassian. Amren was like a cranky old aunt, forced to watch over the children that she secretly liked. She spent half the time looking bored and the other half throwing half teasing insults at the others. Mor was the lightness, always seeming to be happy and bright and could keep up with the men's teasing. And Azriel was the calmest of the group, often sitting back as the others interacted, watching and taking it all in. He had a dry sense of humor that rivaled Rhysand's that came out at the most surprising times and she noticed how he seemed surprised when others found him funny. How his shadows sometimes thickened when attention was turned on him, like he was trying to fade back.
She also noticed how Mor's attention or laughter seemed to cause them to lighten. She saw how he watched the blonde more than the others when no one was looking, seeming to be drawn to her.
It made something in her chest ache, the way he looked at her. She didn't understand why.
After several hours, Mor called the night, seeming to sense that she was beginning to fade and needed to get back to her room. She had fun and felt better then she had in weeks, but after weeks of being mostly alone or just with one or two people, the being around so many for this long had began to tire her. Cassian and Mor had decided to stay at the house, electing to stay in some of the bedrooms here. "But after getting a full night tomorrow, we're training." He had insisted, giving her a grin as he headed up the stairs. Lyra could tell she was going to regret agreeing to that already.
Rhysand was staying here as well, the townhouse being his main home with Feyre and Lyra almost flinched when she realized he wouldn't be flying her home.
Azriel would.
Lyra looked to him as they made their way outside, the cool night breeze brushing against her skin. She shifted awkwardly as he waited, wings beginning to flare. His face was still unreadable, that solid mask he always wore in place.
"I'm glad you came." Mor said, wrapping her in a tight hug and smiling at her brightly. Lyra hugged her back, a warmth filling her chest as Mor drew back and gave her an almost proud look. "It's like Rhys said, you ever want to come down just let one of us know."
"I will." She assured her. "Thank you, Mor. For everything so far."
"Of course." Mor said, squeezing her arm before heading back toward the door. "Night, Az."
"Goodnight." He murmured, shadows flickering as he watched her retreat into the house.
Lyra turned to him fully once they were alone, that worry gnawing at her again as he met her eyes.
"Ready?"
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She was stiff in his arms, her face tight for nearly the first time that night as they flew home. He knew it was more than her discomfort at flying, knew that she seemed to be uncomfortable with him in particular.
He hadn't meant to avoid her, especially when she had done nothing wrong. But since his discussion with Rhysand, since his shadows had reacted to her touch like that, he hadn't known how to be around her. Despite what he had told Rhysand, he knew that there was a connection between them, something drawing him to her, even before she had emerged from the Cauldron. And it was a childish thought, but perhaps if he avoided her and they were mates the bond wouldn't click into place. He could save her from that burden.
It wasn't how it worked, he knew that deep down. But in his exhausted, conflicted mind it was the best he could come up with.
As they landed on the balcony, he put the shield down that had protected them from the cool wind and then set her down on the marble floors. She stood before him and he could see her fist clenching and unclenching at her side.
"Thanks." She said, flashing him a nervous smile as he bowed his head in acknowledgement.
"Good night." He said, his shadows hissing in his ear, fighting to draw closer to her. He held them back, a sort of aching filling his chest when he thought of that touch again.
He headed toward his bedroom, those shadows still hissing when she called his name. He looked back, a bit of nervousness in his stomach as he met her gaze.
"Did the shadows..." she whispered, her fist clenching so hard her knuckles turning white at her side. "Did they say something when I touched them? Did they feel something bad?"
Azriel stared, shocked at the question. He saw the pain in her white-blue eyes, the fear as she waited for the answer. He felt guilt rip at him, realizing what she had thought, why she was so withdrawn with him. She thought he was disturbed by her, by the power she now held.
He hated he had caused her that pain. How many times had he been stung when others were frightened of him, of those shadows, his power, his scars. He had grown used to it over the years, had accepted it, but somewhere deep down it still pained him when he saw the terror in peoples eyes as they beheld him.
"No." He said, his wings tucking in close. "No, it was not that. I am just not used to someone being so at ease with them. Most are... frightened."
A half truth. He had been caught off guard at her willingness to reach for them, to touch them. Most shied away, scared of the darkness of the shadows, the way they felt.
She let out a breath and her fingers unfurled at her side as she accepted those words. He saw those eyes water, lining with tears that broke his heart. He had caused that. He hated himself for it.
"You... you swear it wasn't anything to do with..." she hesitated, her voice catching on the words. "My powers."
He took a step closer as a tear slipped, surprising himself when he gently reached out and brushed it away. "I swear it. You do not frighten me."
Not what she could do at least. What she could be... that was another story.
She gave him a watery smile, blinking to clear the tears and he saw a faint blush heat her cheeks. "Thank you."
"I am sorry, Lyra, if I made you feel that way." He said, hoping she heard the sincerity in his words. He hated that he had.
"It's okay. I was probably more projecting." She muttered, sniffing as she composed herself a bit more. "I don't know what it gave me and I'm not sure I want to."
"Amren can help." He said gently. "She taught Rhysand to control his powers. Perhaps just controlling it would help."
"Maybe." She whispered, but he still saw the fear there, the doubt. She looked up after a moment, something softening in her eyes. "You know, I never feared you or the shadows. I mean... the magic itself scared me at first because I thought it was, ya know, me losing it. But not you, yourself."
The words, the way she smiled at him, flooded him with warmth. He felt his shadows fade, his heart pulsing as he swallowed, his throat suddenly thick. "Thank you." Was all he could manage.
She nodded, that beautiful, genuine smile still on her face as she reached out, squeezing his arm. "Night, Azriel."
"Good night." He whispered, his arm burning with the warmth from her touch