there were more important things than this fic, but hey, at least i didn't forget about it teehee

now, read, ponder, and enjoy!

Looming and tall, gigantic and cold, the Luthor manor stood by itself amidst sprawling greens. History, childhood, empires, held within the walls of the building and unrelenting in their continued grasp of majesty. The manor had stood a century; it may stand a century more.

Long empty, save for master and mistress and a cartel of maids and butlers and footmen, the manor was unusually lively. Well, perhaps lively wasn't the right word, not when they were all fearing for the survival of a man who paid well and was humane in his treatment of his employees. But there were more activities than usual, to serve the return of the prodigies.

One of the prodigies sat, hidden in an alcove at the east wing of the manor, earbuds tucked in her ears and avoiding the subtle prods of her mother or the ever-present urge to serve of the staff. She hid in the alcove and she played her music at the loudest. And ironically, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face started playing.

And much like the many times that she'd listened to this song, Lena couldn't help but think about Kara.

"It's weird."

"What is?"

"It's raining, and I want to stay under this umbrella with you," Kara had iterated that fateful rainy day after Lena had escorted the blonde to her dormitory, a bashful smile on her face but her eyes filled with unbridled courage.

When Lena had seen this tall blonde curled up unnaturally at a bus stop, she hadn't given much thought to it. She just felt bad for the girl and given that she had an umbrella, she may as well be a good Samaritan.

Even when she had a good look at the Kara's face, she didn't really think about mindlessly attractive the girl was, because McKinley building was a distance away from her own place. But she was already here; it wouldn't be nice for her to just walk away, though there was a paper she had to revise before submitting it to her economics professor the following afternoon.

And then they walked without speaking a word. Just Kara holding her umbrella and the two of them huddling under it to avoid getting splashed as much as possible.

Then they reached McKinley building, and Lena was ready to bid farewell. Except Kara stopped her in her tracks with her startlingly brave words. That was when Lena truly saw Kara as she was – blonde and long and with blue eyes that could stare a person into a melted state.

"Do you have coffee upstairs?" Lena had found herself asking.

Lena was just thinking about Kara's face under the umbrella, shaded but unwittingly bright as her grin widened, when her phone buzzed, interrupting Roberta Flack crooning. She started in the alcove, almost falling off, and glared at her phone, only to inhale sharply.

"Kara?" she greeted after picking it up.

"Hey," the firefighter breathed, and god, Lena hadn't realized how tense she had become until she heard Kara's voice, flowing into her muscles. "I – um, I heard about your father."

Lena nodded, feeling her own heart clench at the reminder. "Yeah, I figured."

"So, funny story. Or maybe not so funny, now that I think of it. It's not funny at all. I'm sorry. Just –"

"Kara, what is it?"

"I'm outside."

Lena stood upright, having an inkling of what Kara was saying, but she didn't dare look out the window that overlooked the front lawn. "Outside where?" she asked hesitantly.

Kara clicked her tongue. "Lena, I'm looking at you right now."

One would think that after reestablishing their friendship, it wouldn't be so awkward or weird to see them face to face. And back in National City, maybe it wouldn't have been.

But they weren't in National City. They were at the outskirts of Metropolis, standing on the premises of Lena's childhood, and inside were people who once knew Kara as Lena's wife. They had built a relationship in this manor; Kara had been interrogated by her family in this manor; and they had spent countless holidays in this manor.

It was difficult to look at Kara's face and not think about all the things that they'd done together, specifically here. She would look at the porch and recall the nights they spent cuddled on the steps to while away the chef's food. She would look at a gazebo a few yards away and think of how her brother almost caught her and Kara having sex right there.

"What are you doing here?" Lena asked, after having rushed from the alcove and down the stairs to the foyer, startling a few maids and footmen, and ran out the front door. Barefoot, no less. "How did you get here? Why are you even here?"

Kara scratched at her brows and cleared her throat. "I heard about your father," she offered.

Lena blinked. "Kara," she pronounced slowly, noticing the knowing looks that the gardener was sending them – the gardener who found Lena's panties in the bushes. "We're not – that's not – you and I are divorced."

Kara frowned deeply. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Combing her fingers through her hair, the raven-haired woman looked away from her ex-wife to glare at the gardener, who had the good sense to scurry away, but he would surely be telling the whole house about it. Eventually, her brother and mother would hear about it.

"You're not supposed to…" she drifted off, gulping uncertainly.

"Care about your father?" Kara finished for her.

"Care at all," Lena breathed, shaky and vibrating with unnamed emotions.

Kara's brows ceased in their merger, her face empty as she gazed at her ex-wife. For a moment, Lena thought she was angry or something, for whatever ridiculous reason, much like the ridiculousness of her showing up at the manor three years after their divorce.

And then, almost as surprising as her appearance, understanding began to surface all over the blonde's expression, soft and – dare Lena assume – considerate. Kara heaved a sigh, one that was a mixture of frustration and comprehension.

She lifted her gaze to look at the manor behind the doctor with the same kind of frustration and fondness. It took her a moment, perhaps allowing herself a couple of minutes to study the building that her ex-wife had grown up in. The house that she and Lena had spent countless hours in, fighting and maneuvering and loving one another through it all.

"But I do. I've always cared," Kara finally confessed, softly, looking at Lena again with a shrug. "Plus, your dad has – had – always been nice to me. I wanna return the favor." She sighed when she saw the unconvinced look on Lena's face. "Look, divorce or not, your family used to be my family. I can't just pretend that –"

"You did for three years," Lena interjected, immediately regretting it when the hurt flashed across Kara's blue eyes. She winced and took a step back from the blonde, thinking that it must be the closeness that must have clouded her judgement a little. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of me."

"No, it wasn't."

Lena crossed her arms and rubbed harshly at the bridge of her nose as she exhaled shakily and loudly. She gulped down the sudden ball of emotions that had welled up in her throat and shook her head to herself.

"Kara, I was so scared," she finally sobbed, falling into the fear that she had been keeping at bay since the moment her brother had called her, her face falling into her hands as she started heaving dry tears.

In the next moment, a pair of familiarly warm and strong arms wrapped around her torso, pulling her into another familiarly warm and strong body that had never failed to keep her at bay and root her to the ground. The hands were gentle and unflinching as they stroke over Lena's back in a comforting circular motion.

And unconventional as it was, to be so intimate with someone you had broken your vows with, Lena allowed herself to sink into this moment of respite. Of Kara whispering comforting words in her ears. Of the firefighter embracing her like it was just another day. Of herself momentarily forgetting that she hadn't felt this in three years.

"Lena, I know you're worried about your father, but you have to – oh."

"Hi, Lil – Mrs. Luthor."

Lillian Luthor blinked rapidly, completely taken aback by the sight of the woman standing next to her daughter.

Anyone who'd met the family more than once would have known for a fact that Lillian Luthor did not react like that. The matriarch was always calm and composed. The force behind her husband's success. The ever-steady hands that had never failed to guide the empire out of crises. The voice of reason among the unusually intelligent brood.

And yet, here she was, blinking and speechless, her phone long abandoned in her hands hanging in the air. It was nice to know that at least her stepmother was human in that way as well, in spite of her habitual lack of expression. Lena loved Lillian like she would love her own mother, but there were times when she wondered if Lillian felt.

Lena stood there, watching as her mother turned her blinking stare from Kara to her, still visibly shaken by the blonde's sudden appearance in her parlor. The parlor where she'd once caught Lena and Kara topless next to the China vase. Goodness, the things she and her ex-wife had gotten up to.

When even Lena herself failed to offer any kind of explanation – seriously, how could she explain this on top of everything else – Lillian finally deigned to get herself together. Mouth closed and back straight. Regal and intimidating as the first day Kara met her.

"To be honest, I have occasionally wondered where you've been these days," Lillian offered, not a hint of emotion – it was no wonder that Kara thought she'd hated her.

Kara cleared her throat and smiled politely. "Alive and well, ma'am," she replied. "I heard about Lion – Mr. Luthor," she corrected herself, reminding Lena once again of how unfamiliar they had all become with each other. "How are you?"

"You two still keep in touch?" Lillian sidestepped and asked, almost a little accusingly as she narrowed her eyes at her stepdaughter.

The blonde's eyes widened, and in lieu of answering, she turned to Lena, directing wide questioning eyes at the doctor. Lena licked her lips and shrugged, hissing, "I dare you to explain this whole thing to your own mother." At that, Kara deflated in defeat, allowing Lena a moment of petty victory. "Kara's a firefighter. In National City."

"I see." She may be seeing, but the look on Lillian's face definitely indicated a longer conversation later on. "It's nice of you to come by, Kara. I'm sure Lionel would be happy to see you." At that, Lillian swung around to head back out the door, obviously expecting Lena and Kara to follow.

As the two younger women followed, Lena couldn't help but be a little smug, in spite of the emotional turmoil that she'd just been through, and was admittedly still going through.

"I told you she likes you," she muttered.

Kara made a noise of skepticism. "I wouldn't be too sure about that."

Doctor she may be, Lena was still a neurosurgeon. Ask her any question about the brain, and she wouldn't fail to rattle off statistics and facts about it. But matters of the heart, well, after her divorce, she'd steered away from it, knowing that she was too pragmatic a person to have the capacity of specializing in it.

Hence, it was difficult to learn that her father had suffered a heart attack, but even harder to know that she wasn't in the position to be his main caretaker. Not that her family would have allowed it, being doctors themselves – they, of all people, understood that family should never treat family; it would just open up a whole host of disasters they weren't prepared for.

Once her brother had informed her, she'd instructed him to send over the charts. She understood what the words were saying and what the numbers were indicating. She understood it all. She even knew the procedures that would be taken to ensure that Lionel wouldn't expire.

She also knew that she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Even as a trauma surgeon, she would do what she could do and hand the patients off to the specialists once they were stabilized. She wasn't responsible for fixing the problems unless it was neurosurgery related. Plus, this was her father; she simply couldn't risk it.

"You have to give yourself a break."

"I'm a fucking doctor," Lena exclaimed, seated at the alcove.

Meanwhile, Kara was sitting on the alcove opposite her, as if she knew that Lena needed the space right now, unlike earlier in the garden. Lena refused to think about that moment of vulnerability, because Kara was her ex-wife, and she wasn't supposed to behave like that with her ex-wife. With anyone, for that matter.

"God, I should have chosen cardio."

"Hey, come on," Kara chastised, rolling her eyes. "You're good at what you do."

"Not good enough."

"Stop it." The firm and even mildly pissed off tone got Lena's attention, where she had to turn from the window to the blonde, whose jaw was clenched and eyes were fiery. "You sacrificed a lot to be where you are today." Inhaling a little, Kara shook her head and closed her head. "Even us."

Lena froze at the accusation. She frowned deeply, momentarily forgetting about her father who was still in a coma in the other wing. "What are you talking about?"

"I believe in you," Kara said assuredly, nodding at Lena. "I always have, and I always will. But we – it wasn't just my career getting in the way," she added, a little forlorn at the thought. "You wanted it all. And you wanted it fast. And you took it out on me."

Part of her would love to defend herself and deny the accusations. Lena was not the reigning debate champion in boarding school for kicks, after all.

But there was something about seeing Kara again after all these years of getting to calm down and look back at things in a different perspective, so she could actually fathom what Kara was going on about. Come to think of it, she wasn't all that surprised to find that their marriage had deteriorated the way it did.

"I don't drink as much anymore," she said lamely.

Kara smiled a little. "I'm glad." She licked her lips and swallowed. "Like I said, I'm proud of you still." Lena accepted the praise with a smile of her own. "You've done a great job for yourself."

"So have you."

"Would we have achieved so much if we had stayed married?"

"I think if we'd talked more than we yelled at each other, we could have done greater things," Lena confessed the thought that had been running through her mind since she and Kara started communicating again. "It sound cliché, but communication really is key."

Kara chuckled at that, leaning back in the alcove. "Your dad will be okay," she said, sobering up.

Lena hummed. She liked how Kara was so optimistic; it was one of the reasons she fell for the woman in the first place. But this time around, she simply didn't wanna risk optimism on her father. Bringing her hopes up simply wasn't an option right now.

It wasn't hard to see that Lionel was still pretty heavily medicated even as he'd woken up. As if he could sense Kara's presence in his house – the presence of the woman whom he'd treasured just for making his daughter happy.

In spite of the wooziness in his eyes, he could recognize Kara standing at his bedside, even managing to smile ever so slightly. His nod of acknowledgement was minuscule.

"My favorite daughter-in-law," he rasped after everyone else was done fussing over him, making sure he drank water and was actually talking to them, rather than a simple hallucination from their own mounting concerns. "I knew you two would figure it out," he continued, looking at Lena and Kara.

Lena froze, detecting something odder than usual in her father's words. She closed in on him and wrapped his hand in hers. "You got us worried there," she chastised softly.

He hummed and dismissed it by saying, "Just an old man doing old man things." She rolled her eyes, even though she was still relieved to find that her father's old-school humor remained intact. "I had a bad dream," he said, and when she hummed questioningly, he went on, "You and Kara broke up. And you were so sad. You wouldn't eat. All you could do was sleep. It was a bad dream." He smiled softly. "It's nice to know that wasn't real. My daughter being sad is the last thing I want."

"Mr. Luthor –" Kara stopped when all three other Luthors shot her a disapproving glare, shutting up.

Refusing to even let the concern show, Lena only tightened her grip on her precious father's hand, choosing to indulge him with a nod.

The professional in her instantly comprehended that her father wasn't in the clearest state of mind, perhaps an aftereffect of the medications that had yet to dissipate. The neurosurgeon in her wanted all the scans to make sure that his brain was intact and this was just temporary.

The daughter in her wasn't going to break her father's heart any further than she had to. She convinced herself that eventually, he would be okay. He would remember and things would go back to normal.

"I'm not sad, dad."

"Good. That's good."

"Go to sleep. You need more rest."

"I want grandkids," Lionel replied in lieu of obeying, smiling teasingly. "It's been long enough. Give me some baby feet to play with, the two of you."

Kara laughed from behind her, not of nervousness but of clemency. Great; she'd decided to play along with the charade. She went up next to Lena and wrapped an arm around the doctor's shoulders. Lena had to fight not to react to the touch, deliberately relaxing into the hands that hadn't properly touched her in three years and the warmth that she used to sleep next to in their happy days.

"We're gonna need you to be healthy enough to carry your grandkids, Lionel. So you do not have our permission to keep lying in that bed, okay?" Kara instructed playfully.

"Well, when you say it like that."

"Dad, go to sleep."

"Sometimes, I think she forgets I'm her father," Lionel whispered theatrically, though it was easy to tell that he was about to obey as his grip on Lena's hand slowly loosened.

Kara snorted and squeezed Lena's shoulder, as if that was normal. "It's what got us so wrapped around her finger," she commented.

Lena knew it was meant as a joke, or a manner in which to appease her sick father, but she couldn't help the way her heart skipped and her mouth twisted into a small smile. Kara and Lionel had always been the closest whenever they were together, able to make jokes at Lena's expense or just talk about the most random of things, while Lillian was trying and failing to connect with her former daughter-in-law.

And the one thing Kara and Lionel always joked about was how their lives pretty much centered on the woman that brought them together in the first place. Lena Luthor, the intelligent and unfailingly kind doctor who had eyes that would pull in even the coldest hearts, as proven by Lillian Luthor's devotion to her.

Eventually, Lionel drifted off to sleep, and they all slipped out of the room, except for Lillian, who stayed by her husband's side. Eventually, Kara's arm left her shoulders, and she was reminded of the state of things. Eventually, she remembered that it was all just a charade, and she and Kara could never go back to the way things were.

Behind the manor, there was a cliff. It reminded her a little of the Cliff of Moher, the one she'd once considered jumping off of before Lionel came over to pick her up and bring her over stateside. Beyond the cliff, the ocean roared and lapped, mysterious in its depths and scary in its mystery.

It was a reminder of the home that could be, so Lena liked to go out there sometimes in the middle of the night, especially when there was too much on her mind and she couldn't handle the intimidating portraits that dotted the walls of the manor. God, the number of times she'd been out there in the first few months since her divorce with Kara.

And there was almost always one person who'd keep her company, defying all the common perceptions of her in her gentleness.

"Mother."

"Daughter."

At some point, Lillian discovered Lena's habit of sitting out here, whether sunny or rainy, so she'd gone on to purchase two wicker chairs and a deck table, alongside a fire pit, and placed them a few yards away from the edge of the cliff.

Away from the judgmental eyes of her brother and her ex-wife, Lena pulled out a pack of cigarette packs from her back pocket and took out two sticks. Her mother gladly took the one handed to her, wiggling her fingers for a lighter. Lena placed it in her hand and waited for the woman to light her cigarette up before her turn.

"I shouldn't have taught you how to smoke," Lillian said, though with a smirk.

"This is the one single thing that made you the greatest mother on earth."

Lillian chuckled – that was the thing, she only reacted this way with her family, and Lena appreciated it so much. "I failed in many ways." Lena hummed questioningly. "I couldn't protect you from a lot of pain in your life," Lillian clarified softly.

"Mom," Lena pronounced gently, shaking her head. "I'm not even yours and you raised me like I am. You're a wonderful mother."

Lillian hummed in acknowledgement. "You came into the house with a teddy bear and I fell in love," she said, looking at Lena with a rarely seen adoration. "You didn't tell me about Kara." Lena sighed and leaned back in her chair, choosing to take in the cigarette. "Why not?"

"I needed to…process it myself."

"I was hard on you when you got the divorce, wasn't I?"

"She was a good daughter-in-law."

"Yes, but you're my daughter," Lillian refuted with disappointment clearly reflected in her eyes. "I was just – you were so happy with her, and I found it hard to imagine you that happy again."

That was undeniable. Lena was the happiest when she was with Kara, even until today. And Lillian could see it, despite her unfailing coldness and barely any word of approval when Lena had brought her home the first time.

The first time she'd brought Kara home, Lex was all jokes and Lionel was all pride and Lillian was all – well, she was all nothing. For a moment, Lena was scared that her mother wouldn't approve, because what then? But then later in the night, they had both hung out in the kitchen, and Lillian had given her the seal of approval when she asked what Kara would like for breakfast.

Lillian was an odd mother that way, but Lena couldn't exactly blame her. Everyone was raised the way they were, they adapted to the way they were raised, and Lillian was born in an aristocratic house with too many rules for her to develop proper emotions. The fact that she even managed to fall in love with Lionel and raise two kids was marvel in and of itself.

"She thought you hated her," Lena revealed with a grin.

Lillian raised her brows, smirking. "Really?" Lena nodded. "See, I told you I failed in some ways." Lena rolled her eyes. "I failed the most wherein I couldn't protect you from the heartbreak that adulthood could and can give you. I wish I could – when you and your brothers were kids, I wanted to just put you up in a shed and never let you go, just so you would never face the hardships of the world."

"I don't think that's legal."

"I'd kill someone for you and Lex, you foolish child," Lillian announced dismissively, flicking her cigarette. "Tell her I like her."

"I did."

"Tell her I like her purely because she made the effort to come here."

The younger doctor looked away from her mother in favor of the ocean, all wide and limitless and goodness, how she would love to delve into the ocean and not be afraid of the challenges ahead. She wanted to be like a whale, big and unapologetic, going wherever she'd like and plowing ahead for future adventures.

"She's so confusing," Lena muttered.

Lillian made a noise of indulgence. "The best people always are."

"Ridiculous."

"Are you happy?"

Lena was quiet again, looking at the ocean again, wishing life wasn't so hard again. "I don't think I can be that happy again."

The other woman sighed, dropping the cigarette and putting it out with the sole of her sandals. "I failed as a mother."

"Stop."

"Pass me another one." Lena obliged, tossing the pack over. "And come home more."

"The house is too big."

"I don't care."

Lena laughed and lifted the cigarette to her lips.

Behind them, the manor stood strong and firm in its foundation, willing to stand for a few centuries more. Inside, slept her funny brother, her ailing father, and her confusing ex-wife; all things that confused her despite her intelligence. For now, though, she would sit here by the cliff with her mother and smoke a few cigarettes, forgetting those things.

yes, i'm aware there's a lot of humming, but bear with me - i hum a lot myself.

but anyway, after this, i've somehow gotten myself involved in supercorp reverse big bang so that's gonna take up a lot of my time, so y'all may have to wait for a bit longer for the next update - forgive me.