Chapter Six: I Am Dead Inside

I woke up feeling disoriented. Like when you wake up from a nap and have no idea who you are. Where am I? What the heck is going on?

As my mind woke up, the events of last night came into focus. I had felt like I was in the wrong place because I expected to be in my old room again. But I wasn't. Instead, I was trapped in this other place, and who knew what my family was doing at this moment. Or for the last three days.

Nope, we're not dealing with this now, you have a quest to go on Caly. No depresso feelings please, at least not now. I pushed those thoughts away, promising myself I would deal with it later. That I'd come back to it, though I knew that was far from true. Regardless, I willed myself to get out of bed—which took about ten minutes—and started getting ready for the day.

The conch shell sounded, it was 7:55, so I headed for the mess hall.

Most cabins were already lined up and filing in, and Michael from the meeting last night beckoned me over.

I made my way over. "What?"

"Yikes, I see you're not a morning person. I just wanted to let you know that as you are now in cabin 8, you're behind us when we line up. It goes 4, 5, 6, 7," Here he pointed at himself. "And 8." He ended by pointing at me. "There's also 9, 10, 11, and 12, but I think you're starting to get the point."

Well, that was uncalled for. "Wow, thank you for clearing that up, I had no idea. Do you want some fries to go with all that salt?"

He laughed as did some of the others around us. "Alright Caly, I get it, that was harsh."

I'm not sure how I just got accepted by him with that, but okay. "It's chill, I didn't mean to sound upset or anything. I guess it came out a little annoyed."

"Nah we're cool, see you around?"

"Sure."

By this time we had made it into the dining area, he gestured to a table on the far left. "You're over there by the way. Have fun alone!"

"Thank you so much," I said with a fake smile. He met mine with one just as sarcastic, which resulted in both of ours turning into real smiles. I sat at my table.

From then on I did almost everything alone. I had my first archery lesson with Chiron: alone. I had time on the canoe lake: alone. I had my first sword fighting lesson with Travis and Connor: alone. I had my first pegasus riding lesson with Silena: alone. And I ate every meal: alone.

Not most of these probably don't seem so bad. They're one-person activities anyway, right? But the thing was, they weren't. Well, they were, but—lemme explain a little.

Your cabin is kind of like your family—not that you aren't all family anyway—you do things together. You eat together, bunk together, play capture the flag together—which I haven't done, but I've heard is amazing. Even lessons are blocked out by the hour for each cabin, which means they had to add a whole other hour to the day for me. It all felt like one giant slap in the face saying "You're-weird-and-shouldn't-exist-so-we're-going-to-exclude-you-as-much-as-

possible."

Things felt a little more normal during lessons taught by other campers, but the lack of half a dozen other students reminded me they weren't.

I sat by myself during dinner, tuning out Mr. D's monotone review of the day and announcements for the next week. Annabeth managed to catch my eye when he mentioned the upcoming capture the flag game and gave me a thumbs up. At the end of the meal, she made her way over.

"Did you see me?"

I was confused. "What?"

"When he was talking about capture the flag. I was waving at you."

"Yeah, what was that all about?"

"I want you on my team for capture the flag."

"Well, no guarantees right?"

She glanced at the Apollo cabin heading to the campfire. "Why? Did Michael get you on his team already?"

"No, I thought the game wasn't until next week."

"Ohhh, you're keeping your options open until then?"

I feel like I'm missing some crucial information. "No! Can you please explain what the heck you're talking about?"

"Now I'm confused, why is this so hard to understand?"

"Don't you pick teams? Or have someone divvy them up evenly?"

She laughed, "Weren't you listening to Mr. D?"

I've been exposed by an eleven-year-old. "I kinda zoned out," I mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, essentially we have teams based upon alliances between cabins. No one picks the teams."

"That seems highly unfair."

She laughed at this. "How?"

"What if one team has way more alliances than the other?"

"Then they deserve the win for being able to get along. It encourages unity within the camp. Besides, there are never many alliances, fights happen between cabins all the time."

"Wow, that sounds chaotic."

"One big dysfunctional family." She patted me on the shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, and think about what I said, Athena always has a plan. It's the team to join." She sprinted off to her table, shouting "Cabin 6, fall in!" as she did so.

Cabin 8, fall in. I made my way to the campfire, still out of it as everyone sang songs and toasted marshmallows. There were no fire mishaps tonight, rather the flames remained a nice deep orange, radiating heat on this already humid August night.

Afterward, I took a shower and headed to bed. It had been a long day and with my sleep being interrupted the night before, I was longing for a nice night's sleep.

Sleep was no place of rest for me that night. I dreamt of the place I'd seen in the vision of my real life. I stood waiting by the door to my room, when I opened it I found myself on an island. I heard waves lapping against the shore, certain this was what had calmed me so quickly. I smelled the sweet scent of flowers and cedar and something like moonlace. The sky was a brilliant blue, the whole ambiance radiated peace. It felt like home.

I longed for this; to be welcomed home, safe and far away from this strange camp where I was outcast and alone. This type of emptiness and longing was stronger than I had ever felt before. The bittersweet peace grew larger, threatening to overwhelm me, but before it could the feeling dissipated and the scene shifted.

I was running along the beach in a storm. Sheets of rain prevented me from seeing more than two feet in front of me, but I could hear someone yelling not far off. I sprinted toward the noise, fighting against the wind as it restrained me from making any progress. I felt like I was trying to run through chest-deep water, or going through molasses.

After struggling for several long minutes, I had moved close enough to make out both the words and vague shapes of the figures. A dolphin leaped in and out of the water, doing its best to dodge the lighting strikes and attacks from a swooping eagle above it.

I had to help the dolphin, it was so helpless, so alone. I felt a strong connection to him—or her—and began yelling back at the eagle. Stop it! Stop fighting! You're a bully, leave it alone! I picked up some rocks and chucked them at the still in-flight eagle, continuing to scream insults at it. It was foolish really, as the rocks only made it a foot or so before being caught in the wind and flying off at a hundred miles an hour.

This just made me madder, so I proceeded to throw more rocks and yell as hard as I could. As if by pure willpower, the rocks started hitting their mark and the eagle changed course to come after me. More rocks than I remember throwing were pelting the eagle and fast. My body ached from exhaustion and my throat was raw from yelling, not to mention I was freezing from the spraying water; but I continued throwing.

The storm worsened as the eagle became more aggravated, and by now he was too close for comfort. I turned and ran, this time the wind on my back pushed me along. I was moving faster than I meant to, and my legs couldn't keep up. I tripped and lay on the beach, too exhausted to move and acceptant of my fate. A wave finally enveloped me and I was swallowed by darkness.

I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling confused and even less rested than I was before I fell asleep.

I threw off the covers and ran, to where I wasn't sure, but I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I found myself banging on the door of the big house. I had to speak to Chiron, he was my only chance of getting answers.

A few minutes later I sat in his office holding a cup of peach tea as Dean Martin played from a record player in a corner of the room.

I told him about the dream and asked if he could tell me why I'd had it. "I don't remember ever dreaming that vividly before all this. And definitely not of eagles and dolphins."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You remember your past?"

"No, but I think I would remember this. I would've flashed or something."

"Flashed?"

"Well, I don't really know how else to explain it, every other time I've remembered something from my past it's just kinda flashed a scene in my mind. It's shorter than saying flashback, and it sounds cooler."

"Could you tell me what other times there have been?"

I paused to consider this, not sure what all I wanted to reveal yet. I went over the scene in the place I woke up in, the time with him at the camp half-blood sign, and the fact that everything Dessa told me wasn't much of a shock to hear.

While I spoke he didn't say anything, and when I finished he got up and paced around his desk. I felt like he knew there was something more and was waiting for me to share it, but I wasn't going to. I watched him walk—or trot if you will—for a minute before trying again.

"I know what I don't know, and this dream isn't normal for me. So what does it mean?"

Chiron looked taken aback. "Oh, that? Demigods have dreams all the time, it's one of their many plagues. Sometimes they do mean something but more often than not it's nothing.

"Plenty of kids have come to me when they first stay here saying their dreams are more vivid than normal. I think it's something to do with the power in this area, enhancing dreams and all. You have nothing to worry about."

"Oh okay. Then I guess kids get sent on quests to fix something they shouldn't be worried about all the time here."

He stopped pacing so abruptly that he knocked into a desk, causing his record player to fall, and the music to stop. "Who said anything about you going on a quest?"

"Artemis."

Chiron held back a laugh, but I could see the sparkle in his eyes. "Being claimed doesn't warrant a quest, if anyone told you otherwise it was a prank."

"None of the campers told me that, Artemis did. Last night."

Chiron looked me dead in the eyes. "You're serious. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I wasn't sure I should."

He sat down in front of me and nodded, encouraging me to go on. And I did. I told him everything from the drachmas creating a portal, to the scene they showed me, to the final words of Artemis.

When I finished, he stood up, and carefully lifted the record player back onto its desk. I waited as the music resumed—softer this time—and he took his seat again.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. "So what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about your memory being only dormant, not taken."

"Are memories something that can be physically taken?"

"Some have the power to do so, yes."

"If they're dormant, does that mean I can activate them again somehow?"

"It's possible."

"How?"

"Artemis told you that's something you'll have to find. That is the point of the quest. And I'm sure she will follow through on her promise to help guide you."

Great, that didn't really help me at all. I still have to do everything on my own. "So that's it? I'm just left alone to figure out if I float or sink?"

Chiron sighed. "I wish I could help you but it seems that Zeus has made it clear he wants this to be your burden. To interfere I fear would only make things worse for you. Please believe me when I say I am truly sorry Caly, I wish I could do more."

The message was clear, I was alone. For whatever reason, Zeus hated my guts and made sure to isolate me. The last few days had been lonely, but I was realizing that things were about to be a lot worse.

I felt the emotions of hurt and anger rising in my chest again, threatening to spill over. But I couldn't cry in front of Chiron—in front of anyone really—so I stood up.

"You might want to consider asking some campers to help you on your quest. As is tradition, only two are allowed, tell them what you just told me.

" And remind me again why Athena told you that you had cut their meeting short."

I blinked back the tears and shoved my emotions down before turning back to him and sitting down. I closed my eyes to focus better. What did she say exactly? 'You risked us being spotted and now your answers will have to wait.'

"She called me a 'silly girl', for risking us being spotted."

"And Iris said that Zeus would notice a power that strong. What did she mean?"

"Well yes, but she didn't mean me. She meant the scene that she showed me."

"Ah yes, thank you."

I stood to leave again, but he interrupted again.

"You need to visit the oracle, hopefully, a prophecy will help guide you. At least it will give you a place to start."

"Can I do it tomorrow? This is the second late-night I've had in a row, and I would really like to sleep."

"Of course. And Caly? You leave in a week."