The cluttered office was bathed in flickering candlelight. A mass of moving figures covered the walls, dressed to the nines in pyjamas and encased in gilded frames. The rare spots a portrait wasn't displayed were occupied by bookshelves and odd looking contraptions littered the remainder of the floor space. In the middle was a dark mahogany desk reflecting the light of the moon glinting from the window from the gaps between papers covering the surface. A tall robed man in half moon spectacles was leaning against the heavy piece of furniture, as he considered the dark cloaked man standing before him with a serious if not curious gaze.
"Are you absolutely certain of this Severus?" The old headmaster lowered his head to pear over the small lenses perched on his nose. Albus too had been rather suspicious during last night's feast but he couldn't let anything slip, lest he cloud his ally's judgement. Especially since this matter is something very few people can give a second opinion on.
"Unlike some droning old professors, I don't make a habit of dictating from textbooks. And as few ways as there are to state facts, such exact wording in two separate instances goes beyond what I would consider a coincidence," Snape folded his arms, one of his hands clutching his sleeve. "Besides, I'm sure everyone in the castle has noticed his peculiar behaviour."
"Behaving normally is unbecoming of a young wizard," Dumbledore joked, only taking a moment to sober, lips pursed, "But I must agree that something is amiss. Keep a closer eye on him, I'm sure it shouldn't be too hard as his head of house." The old man finished, pushing off the desk and turning away from his conversation partner.
"I presume that- if he does turn out to be a legimite- it will be my job to tutor him." He squinted at the other mans back as he went to sit at his desk.
"You presume correctly,." The headmaster responded easily, he lifted a sweat bowl off his desk in the other's direction. "Perhaps I can offer you a lemon drop as consolation?"
Snape stared at him silently for a few long seconds before his glare softened into a look of defeat and he reached forward to accept the yellow candy.
-I Forgot How to do a Line Break-
Saiki felt a chill run down his spine, which couldn't be right because he was currently delighting in a slice of strawberry short cake. 'If someone spiked my dessert the school will be sure to shut down due to the disappearance of a student very soon' Not that he thought any of these responsible adults would go to such lengths. It didn't seem wizard chic.
'Or maybe when I thought Malfoy will single handily talk my ear off I wasn't actually wrong.' The aforementioned boy was sitting at Saiki's side, his troupe hanging on his every word as he bragged about that day's lessons. It seemed almost as though he was also bragging for Saiki himself as he might have mentioned impressing Snape at some point. Which made the whole scene all the more sad considering Saiki's involvement in the conversation, or even Malfoy himself. That is to say none. 'Maybe this whole magic thing lets people curse others without even knowing.' These kids were untrained after all.
Deciding it was time to tune out completely he shifted his focus to the next table over. Some 5th year Ravenclaws were worried about their exams, Hupplepuff gossip about the new, soon to be MIA, defence against the dark arts teacher, before finally landing on the Griffindor table. Just in time to hear something about a duel from the Weasley's own mouth.
The red head soon started making his way toward Saiki, or more accurately toward Malfoy, With a quivering Neville tentatively following behind. The storming boy had enough of a presence that Malfoy even stopped talking when he noticed. The blonde's lips formed a cocky smirk despite his confusion.
"Oi, Malfoy." Ron called before even coming to a stop. When he did finally stand before Malfoy poor Neville almost walked past him in his worried state. "you had some nerve to say all that about me and my house. Not to mention trying to steal from Neville." At hearing his name the anxious boy lowered his face.
"Well I don't see what you could possibly want now," He stood from the bench as he spoke, and from above Ron's eyeline tilted his head with confidence, "It's not like you're going to do anything about it."
While Ron glared at having to look up at the blonde he didn't falter with issuing his challenge. "I propose a duel. To settle things." When Malfoy didn't look as surprised as he expected he continued, "Surely you're not scared?"
"Where and when? Malfoys have duelling lessons before breakfast. I probably won't even need a second, but for propriety's sake Potter can be mine." He gestured to Saiki and revelled when the ginger seemed to deflate for a second.
"Courtyard, tomorrow noon. My second is Neville" The other boy let out a whimper that went mostly ignored.
"Are you daft?" Malfoy questioned, his bluntness surprising Ron. But he soon regained his temper in tenfold.
"Haah? Why you want to go now?" Shoving his face into the taller boy's space.
"I don't know what goes through your head, if anything at all, but personally I would rather not get caught and expelled. Which will definitely happen if we fight in the middle of the day, out in the open." He leaned away and twisted his face as if smelling something fowl. "Teachers would be there before we could fire off a single spell."
"So you've got a better idea then." The ginger replied reluctantly backing down, and Malfoy smoothed his features once again.
"Naturally," His cool act only broken when he smirked at the tick in Ron's brow. "Trophy room, midnight. Can you manage not to get caught on the way there?"
"But that's past curfew..." Neville argued quietly but his companion quickly spoke over him.
"You should worry about yourself Malfoy." And finally he turned to go back to his own table, Neville on his heals. Once he sat himself down he was quickly engaged in a hushed debate with a certain bushy haired gal.
'I'm not going' Saiki relayed to Malfoy, acknowledging him for the first time since the boy introduced himself.
"Yeah, neither am I," He said with a shrug, "We'll tell Filch we heard someone planning to go out and the idiots will take all the heat."
Saiki had to admit he was actually impressed at the pure sneakiness.
Normally he would have known this tid-bit without Malfoy having to explain it aloud but as it was he was too busy thinking about how soft and and mouth melting the sponge cake was. He had been ever since he felt that same pin-prick to the forehead he felt yesterday. He still couldn't tell where exactly it was coming from but he had his suspicions. Either way it was best if whoever was listening in didn't hear him thinking about how his peers thoughts make him so very tired.
His avid listener can have this one for free though.
'Yare yare'
-I Forgot How to do a Line Break-
The next morning both Batman and his trusty sidekick were missing from the teacher's table which meant Saiki could hear all about the three headed dog debacle. 'I guess getting eaten is the second hazard Hogwarts students need to be careful day to day, right behind falling to their deaths in one of many, many ways.'
Saiki sighed for the 4th time that day. Almost a new record. He isn't sure if he should be pleased or not.
It was clear that Malfoy wasn't in the best mood since he noticed the Griffindor's attendance at their house table. He was the quietest Saiki had ever seen him as they ate and the blond pulled him along to his morning lesson as usual. From his thoughts Saiki could parse the boy was disappointed in himself for the plan falling through. Which made sense with how proud he was of it all of the previous evening.
However Saiki had more important taiyaki to microwave, since as it happened their first lesson was defence against the dark arts and the first real time he will have had a chance at close contact with the turbaned teacher.
So as he made his way behind the pouting boy he was thinking up his game plan. He knew Quirrell wasn't going to try anything in front of a whole class of students, and as he determined before he needn't thwart him either. Not to mention how conspicuous it would be if he melted the teacher with a handshake. He didn't need that kind of attention, no thank you. Besides, it seemed the man was aware he had to keep his distance, so it wouldn't be that easy.
But that didn't mean he had to let the guy take it easy either. Saiki lowered his head to hide the evil smirk blooming on his face.
-I Forgot How to do a Line Break-
The lesson started normally enough. The jittery teacher stuttered through his introduction, seething under the skin at the mocking looks he got from some Slitherin students. While the others dismayed the thought of having to take notes of a similarly disjointed lecture.
However as soon as Quirrell turned to write something on the chalkboard the giggling started.
When he turned to see the students, who sure enough were barely restraining their laughter, they were all seated and otherwise perfectly well behaved. The man squinted and assessed the classroom, almost uncharacteristically calm, but found nothing out of place. He regarded the students again briefly, who seemed to have settled, before turning back to what he was writing.
To the man's credit, he did a good job of ignoring the second wave of giggles but couldn't stop himself from turning when they evolved into full out laughter. Only to get a face full of floating fabric.
He franticly waved his arms at the offending material, only to find himself impossibly tangled in what he now realised was the cloth from his own turban. A wave of worry went through him as the fabric knotted itself around his wrists, tying them to each other and his headpiece. A situation complicated by the fact he couldn't very well reveal what was underneath.
'Idiot!' His master hissed in his ear. That was enough to spur him into action as he cast Wingardium Leviosa wandlessly. The turban gave a small amount of resistance but he was soon wrangling it off his wrists and back to it's proper place protecting his master.
As soon as he was presentable again he levelled a furious glare at the amused class. To his pleasure some froze in their seats, but when his eyes met Potter's he could barely contain his rage at the smirk on the boy's face. 'I will find whoever did that even if I have to check each of your wands one by one. And you better hope it's not you Potter.'
'Yeah, good luck with that, Mr. 'Beaten by a 10 Year Old With a Levitation Charm'' Saiki allowed the rest of the lesson to go on undisturbed for the sake of students actually learning something at this school but his amusement never died down, even Malfoy seemed in higher spirits, and Quirrell continued to seethe under the surface. It's a wonder he didn't spontaneously combust.
'A convenience of a magic world is that what would normally be inexplicable can be easily justified as sorcery.' A wizard did it was a joke of an explanation in his old world and he couldn't use his powers for fear of people catching onto the paranormal activity surrounding him. But here it's just the truth, isn't it? It could be any of the magically inclined individuals in a room at any given time, which granted Saiki a previously unthought of degree of freedom.
'Maybe this new world isn't so bad after all.'
-I Forgot How to do a Line Break-
Author's Note
Long time no see you guys. I hope those of you waiting for updates aren't too upset that covid has seen no increase in my activity, I have been thinking about finishing this whole thing in one fell swoop when the quarantine rolled around. Alas, my lack of writing skill seems to constipate the words I try to type.
After reading the reviews again recently I decided to bash out a chapter that I'm hoping has met you're expectations of poor grammar and snark.
I really want to see this through to the end, but at this pace it seems it will take 100+ years. That is why I'm looking to increase the frequency of my writing, to try and force myself to put fingers to keyboard and just get it out there and not think too hard about it.
However in the tune of self improvement I wanted to ask you guys about my writing quality. Do I over do it with metaphors sometimes? Do I not describe things enough? Are the scenes too short or brief or something? Also I agree about the broom thing with what you guys have said, at the time I just thought it would be funny and didn't really think about it. And I think I'll keep it because I still think it's kinda funny. I went a bit light on comedy in this one, mostly because I focused on the story itself. Please let me know what you think.
I'm trying to go for a more serious tone when the other characters are doing things since unlike in his manga/show Saiki isn't really the straight man anymore. He is a literal cartoon character in an approximation of the real world so I thought it would make sense.
Anyway sorry for the ramble, and thank you so much for sticking through to the end. (not that the chapter is particularly long ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )