The Power In Me
By Ammie Hawk
Disclaimer: Still not mine…
AN: Okay, so as previously stated this chapter was mostly written already when I posted the last one as I decided to cut them in two. So, without further ado, here we go.
Chapter 5
A couple hours later found the foursome still seated outside. The two children were sprawled across Inuyasha's lap, fast asleep. The currently human male was feeling rather full and drowsy, but he couldn't let himself fall asleep. He normally tried not to on the new moon, but he really couldn't afford to with Sesshomaru there.
"Inuyasha," the other breathed into his ear, and he'd be damned if he let on that that affected him in any way, "walk with me."
The request, command? No, it had to be a command, this was Sesshomaru he was talking about. The command sent a jolt through him, causing his heart to race. Was this it? Was Sesshomaru going to make his move? True, he hadn't been overly comfortable sitting on his brother's lap, but he felt better with the kids there, since it had become apparent the daiyoukai wasn't going to rape him in front of the chibis.
"Wh-what about the kids?" he licked his suddenly dry lips, unable to voice the real question.
"They will be safe by the fire," the elder assured him. "And we will not venture far."
He didn't want to. He didn't want to be alone with the demon lord, and he may be a coward for using the kids as a shield but he couldn't help it. But even with all these thoughts swirling through his mind, he felt his traitorous head bob once in the affirmative.
Without a word, Sesshomaru eased the Hanyou off his lap without disturbing either of the pups. He rose gracefully to his feet and effortlessly lifted a boy into either arm. He carried them inside and placed them on the pile of blankets and furs the fox had pulled out earlier.
He returned outside to find Inuyasha getting slowly to his feet, leaning heavily against the cliff face as feeling no doubt began returning to his lower extremities. He remained where he was, knowing any offer or attempt at assistance would be violently rebuffed. He hoped that in the future it would not only be welcome but sought after as well. But only time would get them to that point.
"Come, Inuyasha."
Once again, it sounded more like a request, but it had to be his human ears playing tricks on him. Besides, the bastard was already turning away in the opposite direction. With a huff of annoyance, he fell into step with the daiyoukai, reminding himself to be on his guard just in case.
They walked in silence for awhile, their steps taking them in a wide loop around the cave's entrance. Inuyasha, even in his human state, could tell that much and he found himself pleasantly surprised by the elder male's honesty and thoughtfulness. No, no there was nothing pleasant or thoughtful about Sesshomaru at all. He was a manipulative bastard, and he was going to get to the bottom of all this, even if he had to beat it out of him.
"Hey," he stopped walking and crossed his arms over his chest, "what are you being so nice for? You know it's not gonna work right?"
"What are you going on about, Inuyasha?" an elegant brow rose curiously as the daiyoukai turned to face him.
"I'm not gonna mate with you," he practically snarled. "I won't become your slave. I would rather die than let anyone use me for their own selfish ends ever again."
"You truly know nothing," Sesshomaru's fists clenched tightly at his side, his claws threatening to tear into the flesh of his palm.
"Yeah, yeah," Inuyasha scoffed, "I know, I'm just a stupid half breed who wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground! But I'm telling you this, Sesshomaru, I would rather take this sword," he pulled the untransformed Tetsusaiga from its sheath, "and plunge it through my heart than let you have your sick, twisted way with me or it."
"Stop," the older male was at his side in an instant, one hand wrapped in a vice like grip on his wrist while the other took hold of the hilt of the sword, filling the night with the acrid scent of burning flesh as the protective barrier activated. "Drop it, or I will be forced to break your wrist."
The grip on his wrist tightened, but he just clenched his teeth. He'd had broken bones before, and once he transformed back it'd be good as new by midday. However, it seemed his human body was not as used to the pain as his normal one and his grip went slack as the other began to twist. The hand on his wrist loosened instantly but did not let go, as Sesshomaru pulled the sword free.
"I do not want your sword, Inuyasha," gold eyes held brown as he deftly slid the Tetsusaiga back into its sheath. "I do not know where you got those ideas, but all of them are incorrect. If you will allow me, I shall explain everything," his voice went uncharacteristically soft, "if by the time I am finished, you still want nothing to do with me, I shall remove my claim at first light."
"Why not just do it now and save us both the trouble?" the Hanyou huffed.
"Because I will not give you up that easily," a faint smile flirted at the edges of Sesshomaru's lips. "And if I tried to remove it while in your human state it will more than likely kill you."
"Oh," the younger male said rather lamely. "So, go on, explain. Cause you've hated me my whole life, even tried to kill me multiple times, so go ahead, tell me what changed to make you want to mate with me so bad?"
"I never hated you, Inuyasha," the demon sighed quietly, finally releasing the other and motioned for them to continue their trek. "I merely felt you were unworthy to share our father's blood, since it was because of you and your mother that he died."
"That's splittin' hairs, Sesshomaru, and you know it," brown eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Call it what you will," he waved his uninjured hand airily. "As for trying to kill you, if I had truly wanted to I would have done so when you were a child and I first discovered your transformation on the moonless night."
"Wait," Inuyasha stopped and stared incredulously at his brother, "you knew about that? How? Since when? Cause I made sure you specifically were never around for that."
"I'm flattered," the daiyoukai smirked. "But I have known since the first new moon after your mother's death. Your scent changed and I went to investigate. After that I made it a point to find you on those nights. Did it not strike you as odd that so few demons came after you at that vulnerable time?"
"What are you talking about?" the current raven scoffed. "Plenty of demons came after me on those nights."
"Only the ones that slipped passed me," he shook his head. "Usually while I was taking care of the stronger ones. Trust me, had I not been there you would not have lasted that first year. I only stopped when that priestess sealed you to the tree. Otherwise, I have not tried to kill you."
"Uh, excuse me?" he gaped at the other. "You tried to have the unmother devour me; you tried to poison me at father's grave; and then, you shoved your hand through my chest on our very next meeting."
"I see how you would think that," he held up his hand to stop the tirade. "However, had you allowed that demon to consume you, you would have deserved it." To which Inuyasha couldn't help but agree. "As for the poison, had you left that girl you would have gotten out fine. As it was, you still managed even with the added burden."
"And the hand through the chest?" he prodded, still going over every encounter of the past year or so in his head.
"I admit," the silver haired male took a quiet breath, "I allowed my anger that father would choose you to inherit Tetsusaiga consume me, and I lost control."
"Oh, great, cause that just makes everything better," brown eyes rolled in annoyance. "Still doesn't explain shit, cause there's still so many more to choose from. But my point is what changed? You can't just go from wanting to kill someone to wanting to fuck them overnight."
"You are being crass, Inuyasha," the daiyoukai scowled. "As I previously stated, I never truly wanted to kill you, and it was actually at that time when I realized you would make someone a fine mate. After I confronted Naraku about his treachery, and realized his intentions, even if he did not, I decided to court you myself."
"Court me?!" his mouth fell open in shock. "You never tried to court me. You attacked me every chance you fucking got."
"A true demon courting involves the interested party confronting their intended, usually in combat," Sesshomaru explained quietly. "In most cases, they are looking to force their target to submit."
"I never submitted," the Hanyou glared at the older male. "In fact, I won most, if not all, of our fights."
"Most were a draw," gold eyes narrowed slightly. "And I said most, I never said that was what I wanted. I would never take a mate that would cower and grovel before me, I have Jaken for that. No, my mate would need to be able to stand strong at my side, able to protect and defend not only our pups, but the entirety of our kingdom. My equal, both on and off the battlefield."
Inuyasha wasn't sure how to respond to that. It sounded like Sesshomaru respected him, almost. Or at least he held him in higher esteem than Jaken at least, which wasn't saying much. Though, all he'd ever wanted was to be accepted, just as he was, especially by the older male before him. And it sounded like his wish was finally coming true, but he still didn't trust it. Nothing good ever happened to him, not without some catch. Kikyo and Kagome had both claimed they loved him, not that Sesshomaru claimed that at all, but they had both wanted to change and control him, as evidenced by the beads he still could not remove from around his neck.
"Inuyasha," the other's voice broke into his thoughts.
"I'm still just a half breed," he said quietly, knowing it would always be a sticking point for most, if not all, demons.
"I am aware," long fingers reached out and lifted his chin. "If anyone doubts your strength or position at my side, I am more than willing to let you prove them wrong."
"I don't need your… Wait, what?" he shook his head. "You'd let me fight them?"
"It would be your position to defend," a smirk toyed with the edges of the demon's lips. "You have nothing to prove to me, you have already done so. It would be their error to make and yours to rectify. That is if you accept my claim."
"I don't know, Sesshomaru," the younger male looked away. "This is a lot to take in. I mean, it's not like you love me or nothing, so what would it matter if I mated with you or somebody else? Besides, I don't even know if I'd ever be attracted to you that way."
"Love is a foolishly mortal sentiment," the daiyoukai scoffed quietly. "I respect you, Inuyasha. Your strength, your loyalty, your pigheaded—determination, your fierce protectiveness over those you consider your own. All of these are admirable traits, and my respect will outlive some silly notion like love. As for you mating someone else," a dark growl entered his voice at these words, "the mere thought of someone having you or touching you that way makes me want to rip them limb from limb."
Okay, so maybe he could disregard his last point, as the sheer jealousy and possessiveness in the other's words and tone sent a shiver down his spine and he could feel himself begin to harden. So there was obviously some attraction there. And Sesshomaru wasn't bad to look at. Oh, who was he kidding? Sesshomaru was gorgeous, in that cold, deadly way that he had. It wasn't fair, actually, it seemed like his big brother got all the looks in the family.
That was all well and good, but what about the rest. What about love? Could he live without that? Though, looking back on it, what had loving someone ever gotten him? He loved his mother and she had died on him when he was really little. No, no that one was different. Kids and their parents were supposed to love each other. He loved Shippo, even if he'd never tell the squirt, and Harry in his own way after all. And hell, he could probably even get Sesshomaru to admit he loved Rin if he wheedled enough. So that one was out, moving on.
Next had been Kikyo. She claimed to love him, and he had loved her, but could he really say she did? She had been the one to make the beads of subjugation he now wore and had wanted him to use the Shikon Jewel to take away half of who he was and free her from her responsibilities before they could be together. And in the end, she had sealed him to a tree. True, Naraku had tricked them, but she hadn't even believed he hadn't been the one that betrayed her.
Then there was Kagome. She was so like Kikyo, but not. She had accepted all of him, the human and demon parts. Though, she hadn't removed the beads and would use them all the time, sometimes with the express purpose of humiliating him. But she had never been content to just be with him. She was always torn between him and her era, and in the end had chosen that time over him.
So yeah, maybe love wasn't the way to go. But could he live with just respect? And did he even respect the older male? Okay, that was a no brainer. He may feel that the daiyoukai was an asshole ninety percent of the time, but he did respect him.
"You're thinking too much, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru placed his hand on the Hanyou's neck, with his thumb absently stroking his cheek.
Inuyasha leaned into the touch and gave a quiet sigh of contentment. He took an involuntary step closer as his cock renewed its interest. It felt right to be with Sesshomaru. It felt good. But wait, was this really what he wanted?
"Wh-what are you doing?" he stammered slightly as he looked up into the other's heated gaze.
"My apologies," the hand withdrew from his neck as if burned, and the younger male could feel his thoughts begin to clear. "It would seem that you physically respond when I touch your mark. I had thought it was only a mating mark that would cause such a response."
"Th-that's good to know."
And it was. One, it meant he hadn't wanted to kiss his brother out of the blue, and yeah, that was a tough pill to swallow as that would've been what happened if he hadn't said anything. And two, Sesshomaru had apologized. That and the fact that he'd removed his hand immediately said more than anything he'd said previously. It meant that he really wasn't going to force Inuyasha into anything he didn't want to.
"Look, Sesshomaru," he shook his head and took a step back, "I don't know if this is gonna work…"
"Very well," the older male turned to head back to the cave.
"Would you stop being an ass and let me finish," Inuyasha grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving. "God, I don't even know why I'm willing to try, you're such an arrogant, unbearable, know-it-all bas…"
"You are willing to try?" the daiyoukai's quiet voice cut him off.
"That's what I said, ain't it?" the current raven huffed.
"That's good," Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulder and Inuyasha could've sworn he saw a smile grace his lips, but that had to be the nonexistent light playing tricks on his human eyes. "We should return now."
Ammie: So there it is. Finally, Inuyasha is starting to coming around, but Sesshomaru is still gonna have to work for it. Anyway, please let me know what you think.