What it's Like to Have a Home

Two weeks had passed since that long, long night when Jack seemed to be hanging between heaven and earth. Today was the day he would be released from the hospital. He had begun some light physical therapy for his injured shoulder, but the injuries to his chest limited his movement. The shoulder injury was minor—just a nick—and would largely heal on its own, anyway. His lung was still healing, and he had been admonished to be both patient and careful, but he was, after all, a ten-year-old boy, and like most young boys, neither patience nor caution was really in his wheelhouse.

Although Jackson had referred to Kelly as his dad when he first woke up, and had declared himself safe, once he was fully alert and aware he was somewhat standoffish. He called Kelly by his first name and really didn't have much to say to him most of the time. As for Stella, he generally called her ma'am or Ms. Stella, and he was definitely wary of her. Stella didn't take it too personally. He hardly knew her, after all, and his experience of mother figures was negative, to say the least. So it wasn't surprising that he approached her with extreme skepticism.

One thing had become apparent as they got to know Jackson, though. He was extraordinarily intelligent. Not just bright, but brilliant. Dr. Charles had dropped in a couple of times to talk, and he confirmed this. He was impressed not only by Jack's intellect, but by his self-awareness, as well. It was actually Dr. Charles who got him to talk about how he had come to realize that Kelly was his father. It seemed that Jackson had spent an awful lot of time in the public library. He loved books and reading. How he had learned to read, he couldn't really remember. It seemed to him that he had always known how. In any event, by the age of eight or so, he was using the internet with a great deal of facility. He came across a news story in which Kelly was mentioned, and he knew that Kelly Severide was his father's name, although that was all Roseanne had ever told him—except that his father didn't want him, and that it was Jack's fault his father had left. He found out she was pregnant, Roseanne had said, and took off and never looked back. Obviously, this was a lie, but Jackson had no way of knowing that.

In any event, he had known for about two years now that Kelly was his dad, and for the last year or so had been hanging around the area where 51 was located. He had also looked up every news story he could find about Kelly, and any other information he could glean from the internet. In short, he knew a whole lot more about his dad than his dad knew about him. According to what he told Dr. Charles, the reason he had never approached Kelly was because he assumed, based on what his mother had said, that Kelly wouldn't be interested in knowing him. He had only gone into the firehouse the night of the blizzard because he had nowhere else to go.

When Dr. Charles communicated this to Kelly on the day that Jackson was to be released from the hospital, Kelly was devastated. "No wonder the kid is giving me the cold shoulder," he commented. "He thinks I don't want him."

"Basically, yes," said Daniel. "But the other layer is that his own mother really didn't want him, told him it was his fault you left, and then abandoned him herself. There's a lot of healing that needs to take place here, Lieutenant. You're going to need to be incredibly patient."

Kelly laughed without humor. "Not exactly my strong suit, Doc."

"I realize that, but nevertheless, there it is."

"I hear you."

"As to Stella," Dr. Charles continued, "she will need to go very slowly indeed. If Jackson distrusts you because of what his mother told him, imagine his level of distrust for women in general, and mother figures in particular."

Kelly did smile at that. "I'm not sure she thinks of herself as a mother figure just yet."

"Possibly not, although you might be surprised. But it doesn't matter. She's the woman in his father's life, and therefore to him, a mother figure. So don't be too shocked if you see some overt hostility toward her at some point."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Charles, and I know you won't agree, but I'm not likely to allow that."

"I didn't say you should allow it. I said you should expect it." The doctor paused for a minute, and then continued. "Your situation with Jack is very unique. Most profoundly gifted children are identified as such by the age of two or three, and treated in a certain way and given certain opportunities as a result. They also tend to be saddled with some pretty high expectations. In Jack's case, nobody has ever really given a rat's ass, so he's been out there interacting with the world on his own terms, learning anything and everything, good and bad. No one has been there to guide him, to encourage him, or to push him in any particular direction. He has a broad range of knowledge, and an even larger one of experience. So discipline is going to be interesting. I wouldn't begin to tell you how to handle that, because I frankly have no idea. You are definitely going to be feeling your way and having some on the job training."

"Well, that's comforting, Doc."

"Just telling it like it is. But if you ever do want advice, or just need to talk, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Dr. Charles. I appreciate that."

Kelly went on his way to Jack's room. It was time to take his boy home.

When Kelly entered the hospital room, April Sexton was there helping the little boy into a shirt and readjusting the sling on his left arm. "Hey, Kelly," she smiled as he entered.

He returned the smile. "Hey, April. What brings you to the pediatric wing?"

"Just covering a couple of hours for somebody who had an appointment. I volunteered for the chance to help this handsome fella get ready to get out of here."

Kelly smiled down at the boy. "Yeah, he is pretty good-looking, isn't he?" Jack gazed up at him, but no returning smile was to be had.

"I don't know where he gets it from," sighed April. "Surely doesn't take after his daddy."

"Funny."

April turned to her young charge. "Alright, buddy. You are good to go. Release papers signed, and all that's left to do is wait for transport to come with your wheelchair to take you down to the door."

"I don't need a wheelchair," said Jack.

"Those are the rules, bud," said Kelly. "I hate it, too, but every time I come here they make me leave in one, anyway."

Jack looked askance at him. "You're in the hospital a lot?"

"I've been here a few times. I'm a firefighter. It happens."

"Oh." That was it. Conversation terminated.

"We're going to miss you around here," April told Jack as she gently caressed his head, "but we're all happy for you."

Jackson just shrugged. Kelly had to bite his tongue, because he found this incredibly rude. But he knew this was not the time, so he let it go for the moment.

Stella and the wheelchair arrived at the same time, Stella all smiles and excitement. They had planned this day carefully, wanting to welcome Jack home warmly, but not overwhelm him. They would head to lunch first. Jackson was wearing his one and only pair of blue jeans, which fit him passably well, and a shirt that Stella had bought, along with a new coat and sneakers. These were the only things they had bought, as they were necessities, but Stella insisted that Jackson should get to pick out his own clothes. So the plan was to have a brief shopping trip after lunch, so as not to tire him too much, and then head for the loft, where a surprise from the 51 family awaited him.

After filling up on pizza, they headed for a department store. Stella had more or less determined sizes already. Jack was reluctant to pick out anything, saying he had enough, but Kelly gently insisted that he choose a few things. A couple of pairs of jeans, some warm shirts, sweats, socks, underwear, and some pajamas were all purchased. Just a bare minimum, it seemed to Kelly and Stella, but they could see that Jack found it all a bit much. He really needed some boots of some kind, but that could wait. He had warm socks, so he would be okay for now. He was also visibly pale and exhausted, so they paid for their purchases and headed for home.

Kelly swung the door open and guided Jack in ahead of him and Stella. Jack stopped a few feet inside the doorway, looking around. Kelly and Stella set their shopping bags on the floor for now, and led the child in further. "It's big," said Jack.

"Well," said Kelly, "this room is big. The whole apartment, maybe not so much."

"No, it's big."

"Okay. It's big," Kelly shrugged. "Want to see your room?"

Jack looked up. "I have a room of my own?"

"Sure. Come on, I'll show you." They led him into the back hallway, pointed out the bathroom, and then opened the door to his bedroom.

"Whoa," breathed Jack.

"You like it?" asked Stella.

"Well...yeah. Of course. It's...amazing?" Jack really didn't quite know what to think of what he was seeing. It was, indeed, amazing. The 51 family had gone all out. Casey had built a huge bookcase with a cabinet at the bottom for storage. The bookcase currently held the books that Jack had been carrying around with him, plus about a hundred more. Most of them were used, and they ranged from the classics to standard kid fare. Casey, with help from some of the other firefighters, had also built a bed set. The bed was elevated, with a set of steps for access. Underneath there was a small desk and a chest of drawers. There was a dresser with a small TV on top, and a footlocker pushed up against the bed set. Gianna and Sylvie had painted a mural around the window, with trees, birds, and clouds. Sitting on the footlocker was Jack's battered backpack, and perched on the bed, which was covered with a green plaid comforter, was Jack's stuffed sloth, whom Jack had revealed was named Seth. There were at least half a dozen pillows, all with hunter green shams. The whole thing had a rustic, outdoor feel, while still being cozy and welcoming. Jack, who had spent five years of hard living on harder streets, loved it. "For me?" he whispered.

"Yep," answered his dad. "For you. You haven't met all the folks from Firehouse 51, second shift, but they already love you, bud. You're family. They did this for you."

Jack's luminous eyes looked up. "Tell them I said thank you," he said.

"How about you tell them yourself tomorrow? We're having a get-together at the Herrmanns'. Lieutenant Herrmann is another lieutenant on my shift. He has five kids, so he has the biggest house and yard. Are you okay with that?"

"I guess. I'm not sure. It sounds like a lot of people."

"Tell you what," said Stella. "I'll find out from Mrs. Herrmann what time they plan to eat, and we'll wait until close to then to go. After we eat, if you're uncomfortable, or just plain tired, we can leave. That way, you get the chance to meet everybody and thank everybody, but we don't have to be there super long if it's too much. Okay?"

Jack looked at her for a long time. He seemed to weigh everything she said. She knew this was because he had a distrust of women in general, but it was still a little painful that he didn't believe anything she said, even though she thoroughly understood why. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll try."

"Good man," said Kelly. "What say we get you out of that coat and that sling for a little bit, and you can lie down. Sound good?"

Jack seemed to hesitate. "Where are you going to be?"

Kelly touched his face gently. "We'll be right here, son. Either in the big room or in our bedroom. Come on, I'll show you. This is your home now, Jack. You're not going anywhere, and neither are we.

Jack looked at the floor. "I guess I don't know what it's like to have a home." There was nothing Kelly could say.

After being shown the remainder of the loft, Jack agreed that a rest would be welcome. Kelly helped him out of his coat, the sling, and his shoes, and settled him into bed. He believed the boy was asleep before he finished pulling up the covers. Leaning forward, he gently kissed the side of Jack's head. How could he ache with love for a kid he had only known a couple of weeks? But there it was, all the same. With one last touch to the dark, tousled head, he turned off the light and left the room.

Jack woke up long enough to eat some supper that evening, and watch a little television. By 8:00 or so, he was showered and back in bed. The shower did require some assistance from his dad, which he accepted rather reluctantly. He still had a dressing across the left side of his chest that had to be covered in order for him to shower, so Kelly laughingly wrapped him in plastic wrap. Jack, for his part, didn't seem to see the humor, but then he didn't seem to see the humor in much just yet. Kelly felt for him. So wounded, so confused, and probably so overwhelmed by everything that had happened to him. Poor kid.

In any event, the dressing still got damp in the shower, which was no big deal as far as Kelly and Stella were concerned. Stella was, after all, a paramedic, and perfectly capable of changing a dressing. Jack wasn't wild about her touching him, of course, but it had to happen. With Kelly standing by, Jack stared stoically into the middle distance as Stella efficiently did the deed. When she had finished, she ruffled his hair, but he pulled away from that touch. Stella sighed to herself. Kelly helped Jackson into his pajama top and led him away to bed. Once again, the child was asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow. His little body was still healing, and even with a long nap in the afternoon, he was still exhausted.