Adam arrived back at Ben's house after the funeral to find his children already changed out of their church clothes and playing outside. All three ran up to him as he stepped out of the buggy and started to head toward the house. Ben was preparing a big, early supper that wouldn't be ready for a few more hours, so after he gave each of his children a hug, he headed into the house to clean up and change into more comfortable clothes himself.

Stepping into the house, Adam noted his father and brothers all sitting in the Great Room engaging in quiet conversation. He quickly side-stepped them on his way to the stairs noting that Samuel was sleeping soundly in a cradle near the fireplace. Ten minutes later, he returned to join them wearing his casual black pants and a dark grey button-up shirt. He took a seat in one of the empty armchairs as Ben offered him a brandy.

"No, thank you. I wouldn't mind a coffee, though, if it isn't too much trouble."

"Not at all. Hop Sing!" Ben waited until the Chinaman appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. "Could you bring out some coffee for us as well?"

"Sure thing, Mister Ben. Be out right away."

"Thank you." Ben turned his attention back to his sons who had returned to chatting with each other. Well, Hoss and Joe were talking while Adam was seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

With the arrival of the coffee, Ben interrupted Joe and Hoss. "Why don't you two go outside and find Nathan and the twins. You can show them the new baby foal that was born a few weeks ago." At Hoss and Joe's confused expressions of their father's request, Ben nodded towards Adam who was still oblivious to the activity happening in the Great Room.

Seeing Adam's vacant expression, they both understood that Ben wanted to speak to Adam alone. "Sure, Pa. Come on, Joe. Let's go find those youngins."

Ben waited for the door to softly click shut before addressing Adam. "Adam? Son?" When he got no response, he reached across and gently placed his hand on his leg.

His father's touch drew Adam out of his reverie. His eyes locked with Ben's for an instant before he spoke. "I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?"

Ben let out a deep sigh. "Adam, I'm worried about you." He held up a hand to silence Adam as he opened his mouth to object. "No, I want you to hear me out. I'm worried about you. You and Cecily waited so long to find one another and then when you did, you were inseparable. You two were meant for each other. I know that losing her is like losing a part of yourself. But she bore you four wonderful children so it's a little like she lives on in them.

"You need your time to grieve the loss of your wife and the children need to grieve the only mother they've ever known. They also need you to try to keep their routine as normal as possible, so they know that just because their mother is gone, nothing is going to change. Grief is a tricky emotion to begin with, but it's even more tricky with children. They sometimes have a hard time expressing their emotions and feelings. It might not hit them until weeks or months down the road and then they might let it all out at once. It's going to be difficult these next several weeks and even months, but those children need you to be strong and someone they can rely on.

"Unfortunately, what I see from you right now in this room, you aren't doing that. You're becoming isolated and ignorant of what's going on around you. As I said, you do need to grieve, and it's important that you do, but there's more than just you that you need to think about. You don't want to follow in my footsteps and repeat the behaviors I exhibited after Marie died. I didn't handle that situation the way I should have, and I know that now. I hope this is all making sense to you."

Adam was silent for a minute while he pondered everything his father had just told him. "I know you're right, but it's just so difficult and even a little daunting and overwhelming when I think about everything that needs to be done now without Cecily's help."

"Perfectly understandable. Just remember you have not only me but also your brothers you can rely on for help. As you know, I've been through losing a wife three times before so there's a good chance I'll know what you might be experiencing. You are welcome to come to me with questions or concerns or even just to talk to if you need to let out your thoughts and emotions. Your brothers might not have experienced what you went through before, but they are also good listeners and are more than happy to help you sort out those confusing emotions. Don't hesitate to ask any of us, any time of the day. We all know it's going to be difficult for a while."

"Thank you."

Ben was happy to see Adam give him a small smile as it showed that what had been said was actually sinking in and he was returning ever so slightly back to the Adam he knew a week ago before Cecily passed.

Conveniently, it was at this moment that little Samuel let out a cry to be fed signaling an end to any further private discussion. "Well, it looks like your little man is hungry for his supper. You better watch him, Adam. If he keeps eating like this, he'll be bigger than Nathan in a year!"

Adam let out a small laugh at his father's joke before standing up from the chair and heading to the kitchen to get a bottle for Samuel.

Supper was an uneventful affair with everyone eating their fair share of baked ham, rosemary roasted potatoes, corn, cheese crescents, and apple cake for dessert. After all the dishes and silverware were cleared from the table, washed, and put back in their rightful spot, Adam told Ben that it was time to leave so he could get the children home and ready for bed.

As the children headed out to the buggy, Ben pulled Adam aside once more. "Remember what we talked about. Ask if and when you need help, either physical or emotional help. We're all here to support you."

"Yes, Pa." Adam nodded in understanding and appreciation.

Ben nodded in return. "I'll be over in a couple weeks to have supper at your place and to make sure you're coming along all right."

"Looking forward to it." Adam joined his children who were already settled in the buggy, handing Samuel off to Nathan. Once he was on the buggy seat, he snapped the reins and drove them all home.

Ben stayed out on the porch watching the buggy leave the yard until it went behind the barn. He then sent up a silent prayer to Cecily and each of his own wives to watch over Adam these next couple of weeks. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but with the children's help and his family nearby, he had full confidence in Adam making it through this next challenging time in his life.

Over the next week, Adam tried his best to cope with not only losing his soulmate, but also becoming a single father. The first few days were easy, almost too easy. Nathan had been excused from school to allow himself time to grieve and to be with his family. He helped out immensely around the house showing his father how to do things that Cecily would have taken care of before. The special practice the twins did with their dolls seemed to pay off as well. They were more than eager to help Adam give Samuel a bottle or keep him occupied while Adam cleaned or did the laundry.

However, after those first few easy days, things started to become more difficult. Adam not only had to keep up with the housework, but also look after a newborn. Plus, with spring upon them, there was more ranch work to be done than ever before. Adam felt like he hardly had enough time in the day to do everything. The children helped out as much as necessary, but Adam tried to also give them time to still be children and to grieve.

Grieve.

With everything else that had to be done, Adam hadn't found time himself to grieve. One thing Adam had learned throughout his life was that everyone handles grief differently. Some just carry on as nothing happened, only to have grief hit them months or years down the road or maybe never at all. Others, take a few weeks to openly grieve, but then spring back knowing life has to continue. And still others lock themselves away in a room or house for days, weeks, months, unable to cope with the loss of someone or something, burying themselves into a bottomless pit of despair.

Most people combined a few of the scenarios and did what felt right to them. What Adam did know through his many experiences with loss was that he needed some time to grieve before getting back to life. This was something he hadn't been able to do up to now, but he knew he had to make the time.

Therefore, chores started slipping. His children's needs were never neglected. Food, clean clothes and bedding, a warm house, and plenty of love still showed up every day, but Adam did start to cut some corners. Dishes piled up; laundry wasn't being done as often as it should have been. If the children's play clothes weren't visibly dirty, he allowed them to play in them for several days. Instead of washing dishes after every meal, they were only washed once a day.

Adam was beginning to understand why his own father had left for a time to be by himself after Marie died. It was almost too much to handle between trying to keep the house and ranch going, taking care of the children, and trying to grieve.

As promised, Ben arrived at Adam's house for supper a couple weeks later. It was quiet as he pulled up into the yard. He brought his horse to a stop before dismounting and leading it to the barn. He settled his horse in one of the empty stalls, but not before noticing that some of the barn chores weren't done as well as they normally would have been done. The horses all had grain and water, although, it didn't look like any fresh water was put out today. He noticed the stalls were also only half cleaned. He knew his son was always meticulous about the barn chores, so this wasn't like him. Fearing the worse, he rushed out of the barn, taking determined strides across the yard and into the house.

Failing to knock, Ben barged into the house scanning the main room for any signs of his son. Instead, he was greeted with 'Hi Grandpa!' from his three oldest grandchildren. Startled, he turned in the direction of their voices finding Clara playing with her dolls near the corner of the room and what appeared to be Nathan reading a book to Helen near the fireplace.

"Grandpa, are you all right?"

Ben ignored his oldest grandson's question, intent on making sure Adam was safe. "Where's your father?"

"Upstairs taking a nap. He told us you were coming over for supper tonight and said we could play quietly until you arrived."

Ben visibly relaxed knowing his son wasn't hurt or in danger. "Ah. I see. I'll be sure to let him know you all followed his instructions. I'm sure he'll be very proud of you all."

A sad look grew across Nathan's face before he gave a shrug in response. He doubted his father would care as much as his Grandpa seemed to think. It seemed like the last few days he didn't seem to hardly notice him, his sisters, or baby brother much at all. They still had meals together and he was there to get them ready for the day in the morning and again to tuck them in at bedtime, but mostly they were left to their own devices during the day while his father disappeared to his bedroom or the barn.

Ben noticed the shrug and sad look that formed on his grandson's face and his heart went out to the boy. He knew this couldn't be easy for any of them. "If you'll excuse me. I'll go get your father as it's almost time to start getting supper ready."

He knocked softly on Adam's door before opening it to find Adam lying on the bed sleeping. He leaned over the bed and called his name while shaking him lightly to get him to awake.

Adam flipped on his side to see his father standing next to the bed. "Oh, hello, Pa. Is it supper time already?"

"Nearly." Ben waited next to the bed while Adam stretched and yawned before throwing his legs over the edge of the bed. "Come on. I'm sure you can find a couple young chefs willing to help you tonight."

Adam threw his father a sly grin as he sat up from the edge of the bed and headed for the bedroom door.

Back downstairs, Adam was able to persuade Helen and Nathan to help him prepare supper. Ben watched the three of them head into the kitchen before he turned back around to the main room. It wasn't until now that he noticed just how much not only the main room but also the dining room was in complete disarray. A messy barn was one thing, but to have their living space disorganized and chaotic was entirely different. Ben decided then that he would need to have a small chat after supper with Adam before he left.

The next hour passed quietly with Clara continuing to play with her dolls. Ben picked up and began to read the latest edition of the Territorial Enterprise that was lying on the side table clearly unopened. He glanced up from the article he was reading in the newspaper every few minutes as the table was set and bowls of side dishes made their way from the kitchen to the table. Sensing it was almost time for supper, Ben folded the paper, placed it back on the table beside him, and called out to Clara to put her dolls away and wash up.

"No. I'm not done playing."

"I understand, but you can continue playing after supper. Now it's time to put away your toys and get ready to eat."

"I said NO! I only have to listen to my Pa, and you're not him."

Ben's eyebrows shot up in surprise, before looking to Adam for support. He had just brought out a plate of sweet potato cobbler to the dining room table and Ben had hoped he heard the last part of that statement from his daughter. However, one look at Adam and he could see he was lost in his own thoughts and plainly struggling with grief. He was clearly just going through the motions of getting supper ready unaware of anything else happening around him so he made no motion to support Ben in his simple request to his daughter. Evidently, Ben would have to take things into his own hands.

"Young lady, I asked you nicely to do something for me, twice now. It's almost supper time and I need you to put away your dolls so we can finally eat."

Clara didn't even look up from her toys at this last statement from her grandpa and continued to play with her dolls.

Ben was becoming frustrated now. "I'm going to count to three. I think you know what will happen if I get to three and you still haven't done as I asked. If I was you, I would think hard about obeying me."

Clara looked up from her dolls briefly, a small flicker of concern in her eyes. It was gone as quickly as it arrived though. "Nuh-uh. You won't do that because only Papa can do that."

With that, Ben started counting.

"One."

"Two."

"Last chance, Clara." He waited all of five seconds to see if she would obey, but she continued to sit on the floor with her toys spread all around her. Ben sighed at her stubbornness before finally reaching the dreaded final number. "Three."

Ben strode the few steps over to where Clara was still playing on the floor. He reached down and grabbed her arm, gently pulling her to a standing position. He quickly turned her to the side, landing two firm swats before turning her back around. It was over before she could even register what had happened.

Keeping a hold on Clara's shoulders, he crouched down to look her in the eyes. The swats were forceful enough to let her know that Ben meant what he said but weren't nearly as hard as they could have been. Regardless, tears clung to her eyes threatening to fall down her face.

"Now, are you ready to listen and behave or are we going to have to have a longer and more serious talk upstairs in your room?"

She raised her right hand to wipe at her eyes and let out a sniffle. "I-I'll listen-en Grandpa."

"That's good to hear. Now, please pick up your dolls and put them away for now. If there's time later, we can pull them out and play with them after supper."

Ben watched as Clara quickly picked up all her toys and then they both went to wash their hands before making their way to the table and sitting down ready to eat at last.

An hour later, supper was finished and Adam excused his children to go play for a little bit before it was time to start getting ready for bed while the adults remained at the table savoring their coffee. Ben figured now was as good of a time as any to bring up his concerns to his son about how he has been handling things.

"Adam, how are doing?"

Adam had been studying the dark brown liquid in his cup and looked up at his father's question. "I'm good."

"Are you sure? Chores around here appear to not be done or have been done hastily."

He hesitated a second before answering. "Yes, it's true. I've been slacking on some chores around here. But everything gets done eventually." Adam raised his cup to his lips to take a slow sip of the comforting drink.

"What about the children? Are you still spending time with them and showing them enough attention?"

Adam refrained from rolling his eyes at all his father's questions. "Honestly, Pa. My love for them hasn't changed nor has how I treat them. You're getting worked up over nothing." He took another sip of his coffee to help steady his emotions.

"Am I? I got the impression earlier today that Nathan thinks you don't really care much about them anymore and just before super, Clara was throwing a temper tantrum and you did nothing to stop it. I had to step in and discipline her even though I shouldn't have had to."

Adam was starting to get annoyed at Ben's interrogations of him and his family and set his cup down a little more loudly than he intended. "We're fine, really. It's just a difficult time for all of us and we're getting used to the new normal."

Ben was skeptical and he knew what he was going to say next was going to hit a sore spot with his son. "All right. I know you say you are fine, but son, I know you better than that. You're hurting and I get that, but you can't let your responsibilities slip. You have to keep up with the house and children no matter how difficult it is and yes, you still have to grieve too. It's been a couple weeks and you haven't asked any of your family to help, not even once. You don't have to do this alone."

Adam was annoyed and bordering on angry by the time his father was done with his little lecture. He felt it wasn't his place to come into his house and judge how he was handling things. Adam had enough with his helpful hints and was ready to tell him just that. "Fine! You're right. You always seem to be right, don't you Pa? I admit it is hard and we have been letting some things slip as a family just a little. But we're surviving and that's all that matters. I can take care of my ranch, house, and children all by myself without the help of you or my brothers, or friends. It's going to take time, but we'll get through this one way or another. Please just let me get through this my own way."

For the second time that night, Ben's eyebrows rose in shock at an outburst from one of his relatives. "Very well. I'll let you handle things on your own. However, you and the children cannot keep living in such a chaotic house. I plan to return in a couple weeks and if the house is just as bad or worse than it is now, we will need to figure something else out."

Adam had calmed considerably and nodded in acknowledgment, feeling almost as if he was a young boy again being admonished by his father. "Yes, Pa. I understand."

Ben studied his oldest son for a moment before rising from the table and taking his leave. He made a vow to himself that he will periodically ask to help Adam over the next couple of weeks. Regardless of if he accepts his help or not, he truly hoped Adam will make some changes in the coming weeks so more drastic measures wouldn't have to potentially happen.