A/N - I will be updating Falling into Darkness & Bring Her Home soon. Since writing the newest chapters for FID (it was complete, but I took one of the prompts and have since changed it back to incomplete, the story continues!) I've felt the need to touch on something Frozen 2 (as always) didn't explore deeply.

This, is inspired by my most recent chapters for Falling Into Darkness.

Anna learns that Elsa saw their mother in Ahtohallan. I hope you enjoy (or cry, whatever works).

For the sake of the story, we're just go with how Frozen 2 outlined it, Anna is completely and utterly fine after losing her two best friends simultaneously in the Cave, it hasn't effected her at all. No resentment, completely over it once seeing them alive :)

That reunification, one that instantaneously cleared the skies of grey. Peace and tranquillity, her soul was settled. It was all Anna ever longed to see, and it was all she ever tried achieve. Her years of work in helping Elsa's self esteem, in teaching her just how much she mattered, how deeply she belonged was no contest against Ahtohallan. She had seen Elsa smile more, she opened up to her when she was struggling, and she didn't wear such restrictive dull clothing. Although she never got rid of the braid, it was a huge step - or at least, she thought it was. That white dress, flowing freely in the gentle breeze of The Enchanted Forest. That smile - one Elsa truly meant - highlighting her rosy cheeks and gentle eyes, a smile that said You didn't think I'd actually leave you, did you? As Anna was shaking in the wake of all her complex and conflicting emotions, snotty and unbelievably teary there she stood. So still, so calm. Graciously taking Anna's hands into her own, every movement was purposeful with not any signs of doubt. Elsa had emerged a whole new person, wearing her hair entirely down, and rocking an elegant but signature dress. Ahtohallan had done the work Anna was attempting for years in a matter of minutes. That's what made it all that more powerful - she never saw it coming. She'd had dreamed it, of course, But she never thought she'd see the day where Elsa appeared to be wholeheartedly comfortable in her own skin. There was no doubt, whatever had happened in that glacier must've been magical, as this moment was just that.

It was all perfect. It was what she had been waiting for.

She didn't want it to ever end. But all good things do. Everything has it's time, and everything has it's place.

That evening, high on a new engagement and finally getting their happy ending. The stars shone brighter than they ever had before, the hot chocolates piled high with whipped cream. Elsa and Anna were in the used-to-be Queens bedroom. They had been snickering over Kristoff and Olaf's outfits, and how they put up with wearing heels 24/7 and dresses in all weather conditions, and they lasted, what? An hour? Men.

"Anna, I need to tell you something." Elsa grinned, a sparkle in her eye that had been so dim before now. It was so reminiscent of all those nights in pillow forts - before the separation - sharing secrets and sneaking chocolate. It was a face she hadn't seen in years. Anna scooched closer to Elsa, leaning into a pillow her head rested in her palms, wearing a smile she had reserved specifically for this occasion. The day it would feel normal. The day they could be just as they were, surviving the sadness and trauma, sharing a bedroom once more, just them. No limitations. No set backs. No worrying over Elsa. The nostalgia was generously stocking Anna's tears, but she held them back. Not wishing to cry over a memory before it had even fully began.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Anna laughed, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. Unwillingly, Anna was lighting a match she couldn't possibly foresee the damage of.

"In Ahtohallan, I saw mother"

The fire had started. Like the waves of the dark sea, blood was crashing through her head. It was all she heard. She could barely make out what Elsa was saying. Why didn't I?

"She was just... and...was so beautiful"

Invisible smoke that Anna had no choice but to breathe. Why couldn't I see her?

"...just how I remembered her"

She quickly squeezed her eyes shut, trying to pay attention. But the world was muffled, swamped in toxic fumes composed of regret, pain, and grief. It was thick, it was never-ending. I want to see her.

"All of my life, she's been waiting for me."

The fire spiralled out of control, destroying everything in it's path. A thousand daggers digging into her skin, she was sure the windows had blown out, exploding under the pressure. The room colder, Anna tried to bury the burning hot tears that were threatening to spill. What about me?

"I saw you... and ... all my memories... ice"

She couldn't breathe. Elsa had essentially relived their whole life. The house had been destroyed, the blaze aggressively taking all of Arendelle with it.

"...her all along. I never thought -"

"-That's great Elsa" Anna interrupted, shuffling back from Elsa. This wasn't a secret she wanted to know, she wished Elsa could take it back. It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide the pain that was etched all over her face. Just be happy for her, don't be jealous.

"Anna?" Her rambling had finally come to a halt. Thank God she shut up. Every detail was just adding to the wounds Elsa had cruelly opened. It wasn't enough that she was shown how they died, how they continued on that voyage to find answers about her sister. She had been left behind, abandoned by them. One of the last words on their lips, For Elsa. What about her? This was just another blow to the grief that she had still been working through. Elsa found closure, Anna found suffering. Whilst Elsa took steps forward, she forced Anna back in the process.

"I forgot to brush my teeth" She shrugged haphazardly, before excusing herself. She needed to get away, away from her big sister, away from this. Waving limply as she left the room, she called "I'm really happy for you."

Maybe some things were better kept to yourself. Maybe she didn't want to know everything about her sister anymore. Maybe, she brought this on herself. One thing she was certain of, rage doesn't sit well in small bathrooms. It only amplified how little space Anna had to share her feelings. It would have to be confined to this, breaking Elsa's heart was something she couldn't afford to do. One good day. One truly, fucking happy day. Let her have this. She never imagined she might be the one to ruin it all. She let the cold water fill in her shaky hands, before hastily splashing the water onto her face, letting the tears finally roll down her cheeks under the mask of tap water.

The only sister to attend their funeral. This was the thanks she got?

That was cruel. She hated herself for thinking it. Elsa had her reasons, it was probable that her extenuating circumstances were of all possible reasons, the most acceptable. She couldn't have gone. That was what she had settled on. It was what she would still choose to believe now, despite the ever growing resentment brewing against her older sister. This wasn't a contest, and she wouldn't allow it to be.

Pacing the tiny bathroom, Anna found that with each cycle her brain was too, going round in circles. Every round coming back to that same thing. What about me?

Had she been forgotten? No, she could never be forgotten. Anna was too loud, too vibrant to ever be forgotten. She spent her childhood dragging her parents every which way to show them her new skills, solo talent shows and disastrous dining experiences - home made mud pie being her speciality. In all those years with secretive meetings in Elsa's room, all those concerned and worried faces, a secret club that she was not allowed to be a part of. It became her mission to draw attention back to her, to bring a smile back to their faces. She succeeded in that. Looking into that mirror, barely able to recognise herself. She felt her heart seize as the penny dropped.

The club she would never be a part of.

It continued into the afterlife. She was once again, stuck outside that bedroom door unable to reach the trio.

Then it worsened. Sinking to floor, Anna fully embraced the cold tiles. Through choked sobs, the gravity of it all began to weigh heavy on her chest.

Unless by chance there was an opportunity for some kind of journey of self-discovery, then she would never see them again. She had no magical means of reaching them, and the idea of going to Elsa about it was demeaning. They had shared such an intimate, spontaneous moment. If seeing them relied on Elsa's powers, then she would have to share that moment with her sister. It just wasn't the same. All those years led up to that reunification, when the truth was out. How had it bypassed her? The Spare, that term had killed her throughout childhood, she thought perhaps it was over. She never imagined it to be of relevance to her parents.

She didn't have a chance.

All she had were her memories. Memories that had been tainted by the final addition of the very graphic visuals of their drowning. It was a haunting irony that being the only family member to have her memory wiped and meddled with, that she would survive and not get to experience it. She imagined Elsa roaming around the glacier, seeing everything unfold before her, remembering things they did as children that were far out of Anna's memory. Being such a young age, she barely remembered life before the separation. Her one and only shot to see it all again, to heal that painful wound was gone. She would have to do as she always had, ask Elsa for clarification and search her brain for any kind of memory, as well as distinguish between dream and reality.

She just wanted to see her mothers face, she wanted to know that Iduna was proud of her. She had, managed the impossible. She got Elsa out her bedroom. She survived a frozen heart.. it wasn't as if she was short on any life-changing events for them to make an appearance. She glanced back to the bathroom door. Guilt - crashing into her with full force. She left Elsa. She shut the bathroom door. She shut her out.

A gentle knock broke her from her thoughts. "Anna, are you okay?"

A/N - could possibly write another part to this, mostly just wanted to initially explore Anna's feelings (I could probably do a more detailed, better fic for this another time, I don't feel as though I've done it justice, yet.) For a woman who has attachment and abandonment issues, there wasn't a hint of jealously over it all. Like props to her, because I could never.