Chapter 6: Free to Be

There seems to be a draft in my far-too-large mansion in District 12's Victors Village, set high on a hill on the outskirts of my homeland. Since winning the 75th Hunger Games, or Third Quarter Quell, and coming home from the arena, I have lived here.

I moved out of the Bakery, moved out of Peeta's room where we had spent hours upon hours making love in his bed the night before my Reaping, and came to live here on this deserted hill.

Well, not quite deserted. Only one other person lives here: my mentor and now across-the-street neighbor, Haymitch Abernathy. The Victor of the 2nd Quarter Quell might be a drunken louse, but he has been helpful (to the extent that he can be) in helping me to grapple with the lingering trauma from the arena.

I feel chilly now because President Coriolanus Snow just left my home, blackmailing me into becoming a prostitute to please Capitol elites. The thought of refusing had only just crossed my mind when Snow threatened to have my entire family (including step-family) killed if I do not comply. My mind and my heart instantly went to Peeta…. and both of them nearly froze in horror when Snow suddenly showed me video footage of Peeta and I kissing. I'm in my blue Reaping dress, so it must have been recorded inside the Justice Building when we were saying goodbye.

The President has only been gone about half an hour when the door opens and Peeta steps through. Instantly, I run into his arms crying. Since returning to Twelve, my stepbrother has been a godsend, delivering bread and – my favorite – cheese buns – up the hill to me. Sometimes on his visits, we talk. More times, we kiss. And still other times, we have staggered upstairs to my bedroom where we proceed to fuck until my mattress nearly breaks.

"Are you all right?" Peeta takes me by the shoulders and gives me a little shake. "What happened?"

I shake my head, blinking back tears. "Later. Just…. kiss me. Tell me you love me."

He nods, softly lifting my chin with his fingers. I take a shuddering breath as his face draws close. When his lips meet mine, I melt into the kiss, moaning happily. My arms entwining languidly around his neck and strong back, I pull him as close to me as I can. Peeta's hands wander down to my calves, which he knows I like, and when he grips the toned flesh there, I don't hesitate to hitch my leg up around his torso, so that my Reaping dress's blue skirts, ride high up my thighs. Peeta's free hand brushes my boob, and I eagerly push his palm against my hardening nipple, allowing him to cup me.

"Hmmm….. Mmmm….. I….. I love you, Peeta…."

"Katniss?"

The smaller voice makes Peeta and I abruptly snap apart, our arms still around each other. We turn our heads to gawp, open-mouth, at Primrose standing in the mansion's doorway, looking stunned. This is the first time anyone has walked in on Peeta and I kissing, at least since our parents have been married.

Primrose wrings her hands. "I…. I came up here to…. help you finish your hair. For the statue unveiling in the schoolyard."

I nod dumbly, in a bit of a daze. Peeta sets me down, dares to peck my lips once in full view of my sister and then dash out my door and down Victors' Hill. Silently, Prim guides me upstairs to my vanity, where she proceeds to do up my hair in the signature, single braid running down my back.

She doesn't ask questions, though I can tell she wants to. The silence is almost as painful as if she was interrogating me, for judgment is judgment, whether or not it is spoken aloud.

Once I am ready, Prim and I walk down the hill and across Twelve to the district schoolyard. Since winning the Hunger Games, I have been exempt from finishing my education, an arrangement I feel ambivalent towards. I was always a good student, even if I figured a life down in the mines was my destiny.

Every year, it is tradition for the winning district to unveil a statue of their newest Victor in a "place of prominence in the district." That is what the law says. For Twelve, such an event has obviously been extremely rare. At first glance, the main square where the Reaping is held might have been preferable, but when not being used to select tributes each summer, it is quite a bustling center of commerce. So, the schoolyard was chosen as the next best site. For as long as I can remember, I and other students have sat under the shade of the stone likenesses of Haymitch Abernathy and Lucy Gray Baird, who won the 10th Hunger Games. Not much is known about her; not even Haymitch knew her, as she was apparently dead long before he was Reaped.

As I am called to the front of the crowd, a brass band from the school begins to play. Mayor Undersee, looking proud as a peacock, stands up to give his speech. The last time an unveiling like this took place, his father was Mayor, and my parents were only slightly younger than I am now.

"Thank you. Thank you, everybody. This is some Victor we have here! And if I have anything to say about it, she is going to stand here in Twelve forever, long after she is gone!"

My neighbors from the Seam and even some of the Merchants cheer lustily. I put on a smile that's totally fake, feeling tears pool behind my ears but unable to wipe them away. Gale would have loved being here…. Reconciling my hunting partner's death has been the hardest of all for me.

The tarp covering my statue falls away, to reveal me taking a fierce hunting stance with my bow. Camera bulbs flash and people applaud louder, a few pushing to the front of the crowd to read the plaque at the statue's base: Katniss Everdeen, Victor of the 75th Hunger Games, or Third Quarter Quell. Apparently, another statue very similar to this one will be unveiled later in the Capitol, along what is known as the Avenue of Victors.

Once the celebration ends, I rush into the crowd to embrace my family. I am careful to not hold my hug with Peeta for too long, as much as I might want to. Mother has a strange expression on her face, and Prim looks guilty for some reason.

Only when we return to the Bakery for a light snack do I realize why.

"Is it true that you and Peeta kissed in your mansion, Katniss?" Mother sounds grave. Blushing bright red, Peeta and I look at each other, trying not to appear ashamed. If anything, Primrose is doing that part for the both of us. I don't believe my sister would have tattled on us on purpose; someone must have noticed that she seemed off and wheedled it out of her.

To my surprise, Peeta takes my hand and squeezes it. "Katniss and I love each other. I don't care if we're already related by marriage. I've done some reading, and Panem law doesn't forbid stepsiblings from marrying if they so wish. If she'll have me, I want to have a Toasting as soon as possible." He smiles at me lovingly, and I gasp, drawing a hand to my mouth. The tears that gathered at the stature unveiling now begin to happily drip down my cheeks.

"Yes," I whisper without having to think about it. "Yes, I will."

"Hold on!" Steffan, my stepfather, announces. "Before we consider this…. union…." And he takes my mother's hand. "Katniss, your mother and I have something to tell all of you."

Taking a deep breath, Mother faces my sister. "Primrose…. Steffan is your father."

I gasp, noting how she said father and not stepfather.

Bewildered, we listen as Mother and Steffan begin their tale….

FLASHBACK

Mr. Everdeen had been injured on the job when Katniss was about three, severely enough that he was remanded to the small district infirmary in the Justice Building, clear across town.

Mr. Mellark had come in to have an injury of his own treated, while Katniss had been upstairs taking her nap. He and Mrs. Everdeen got to talking as she patched him up.

"I never got over you," Mr. Mellark whispered.

Mrs. Everdeen froze, gazing at him. Suddenly, the pair were kissing fiercely, Mr. Mellark lifting Mrs. Everdeen by her thighs so that she folded her legs about his waist. Her skirts were shoved up past her hips.

"Mmmm….. Hmmmm….. No….. No, we mustn't…. this isn't right…." Mrs. Everdeen mewled weakly.

"Lillian…" Steffan groaned. "Please…."

Pants and underwear fell down to ankles. Within moments, Mr. Mellark took Mrs. Everdeen with one, deep thrust, and she cried out, the half-scream turning into a groan as she buried her face into his shoulder. Mr. Mellark stifled his own grunts into the soft curve of his old flame's neck, and the couple made love, rocking against each other and concealing their moans of pleasure into each other's chests. They jerked their hips against one another frantically, making squelching, slapping sounds and building delicious friction while Mrs. Everdeen's baby daughter slept away peacefully upstairs, her mother's transgression unbeknownst.

Mrs. Everdeen and Mr. Mellark both came hard after having sex, and once they were finished, redressing and both pink in the face, only then did Mrs. Everdeen begin to cry.

"We….. we shouldn't have given in. We shouldn't have done that," she bemoaned. Tears streamed down her cheeks. When Mr. Mellark tried to kiss her goodbye, she sadly turned her face away.

She found out she was pregnant several weeks later, long after her husband had returned from the infirmary.

Leven, Rye, Primrose, Peeta and I all stare at our parents, open-mouthed.

"And Daddy never suspected?" Primrose whimpers. I know she is referring to the father who raised her.

"He loved you as if he had made you himself," Mrs. Everdeen murmured quietly.

I'm glad Daddy never found out. It would have been quite the bitter pill to take. And thank heavens the Witch never knew – who knows what might have happened?

I take in a sharp breath as another horrid thought strikes me. "But…. but that means…." Peeta and I look at each other, horrified.

"You're not related!" Leven cuts across us. "You each only share a half-sister. Peeta is Steffan and Miriam's son, and you, Katniss and Glen and Lillian's daughter. None of you share a parent – only a sibling."

I draw a family tree in my head, and discover that Leven is right.

"So we can still marry?" Peeta asks hopefully.

There is a long silence. Mother and the Baker glance to each other. Finally:

"Yes, son," Steffan sighs. "If you and Katniss wish it, you may have a Toasting."

One morning several weeks later, Mother and Prim dress me in my blue Reaping frock. Gliding down to the Justice Building, Peeta and I stand before the Justice of the Peace and sign a marriage license. Normally, most couples who get married in District 12 are then assigned a house. Since I am a Victor, Peeta will simply move in with me.

Returning to my mansion high on Victors' Hill, Mother and Prim then adorn me in the family wedding dress. Returning to the Bakery, I see my lover standing before a blazing fire in the hearth, watching me in awe. Slowly, over the spigot, we Toast a bit of bread and share it. Then we exchange rings and vows.

Peeta lifts my veil and takes me by my waist, pulling me close. For a moment, I have to wonder if we are doing the right thing.

We love each other, I tell myself. I don't care what anyone says. We'll make this work. Somehow.

My grey eyes are solemn as they dance in the firelight. Tilting my head, I permit my…. my husband to kiss me. Looping my arms about his neck, I part my lips eagerly and close my eyes, my lashes fluttering as I deepen our wedding kiss and thus seal our marriage.

Peeta is more than just my stepbrother now. He is my husband. I have a husband. I'm married. I am Mrs. Peeta Mellark, the future Baker's wife.