Solitude

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"Hey Care, can you see if the clerk has water or something?"

Caroline gave me an uncertain, alarmed glance but nodded to Bonnie and rushed off, while still wearing the new dress. The tag flickered up in the air with her quickened movements. Bonnie knelt down beside me as I recovered from the vision that slammed into my head like a bag of bricks. I sat up, feeling my chest tighten into a knot. I already didn't want to explain, but something told me Bonnie of all people would get it. I didn't need to tell her everything. Just the weird... visions.

If she believes me.

She lowered her eyes to me in concern and I gave her a sheepish, forced smile. "You okay?"

"I um..." I swallowed. "It's a little hard to explain."

She offered me a reassuring smile. "Take your time."

"Um... promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

There.

I wasn't entirely sure, but I could've sworn I saw a small, hopeful glint in her expression. She was probably wondering if someone else was going through what she was- in a way, and that it wasn't just possible delusions of her grandma that rubbed off on her. I could only hope that was what she was thinking, at least.

"I think I might be psychic?" I expressed, as though it were a question, and despite the look of surprise on her face, I knew her of all people would believe me, a lot more than others. "When I touch someone at the moment I uh- a vision kinda hits me? That's why I haven't let you have any contact with me- or anyone really. It's draining. It's unexpected. I still don't understand anything that's going on, but... there you go. Please don't send me to a mental ward."

She pressed her lips together for a while, in thought. The wrinkle in her brow grew considerably, increasing the tightness of the knot in my chest the quieter she became. I was about to say psych and pretend it was all a prank, but she nodded slowly, finally. "We can talk about it more later but... I- well, I actually understand."

"The witch thing, right?" I asked, taking this opportunity to bring it up, if a little reluctantly. She was sensitive right now.

"Yeah." She said softly. "I... I don't wanna believe it's possible, because it's kinda... well, it freaks me out." I stood up, using the plush ottoman as help. "My Grams said it would happen with me, and I thought she was just... well, I was indulging her because I thought maybe she was getting a little senile, y'know? But-" She raked a hand through her own hair, a stressed line on her forehead. "I've been- when I touch someone I get the same kinda thing, but it's a strong feeling, not a vision."

"You... mentioned your Grams told you about this." I hesitated. "I don't wanna be weird or anything, seeing as we haven't really known each other for long, but..." I wrung my fingers nervously. "Do you think she could help me?"

She tapped her finger along her side, contemplating, seemingly leaning towards the more positive side. But before she could answer, Caroline came back with the clerk, who was glancing between Bonnie and I, confused as to which one was ill or whatever Caroline told her. I gave her a smile, but it was a little forced. The clerk offered a small plastic cup to me, and I gratefully took it, sipping. "Are you alright? Would you like me to call someone?"

"We're good." Bonnie assured, as Caroline kept glancing over at me, as if expecting me to suddenly do the macarena.

The clerk nodded, and went back to the desk after confirming I was fine. There was a bit of an awkward silence, and Caroline bluntly said, "sooo, what was that about?" Bonnie nudged her quietly, giving her a look, and Caroline quirked an eyebrow but coughed and said, "um- you know what, never mind! Let's just get these dresses, and if you're feeling... unwell-" After a stern look from Bonnie she chose her wording carefully, and gave me a bright smile. "You can go home!"

"Caroline." Bonnie's features were stoic.

"What? I thought that was nice." She defended herself.

"It's okay, Caroline." I cleared my throat. "I'm feeling okay, I just want to keep shopping, is that okay?"

"As long as you don't do that weird freak out thing again- ow! Bonnie! What was that for?!"

Bonnie sent her an innocent smile, and pat my shoulder, leading me over to another aisle. "Sorry. Don't mind her."

It took a while for that awkward incident to boil over, what with Caroline sending me awkward glances and asking every two seconds if I was okay- and boy did it come across as kind of patronising. I tried to remember to keep calm, and luckily after that she didn't touch me, and neither did Bonnie. There seemed to be some kind of unspoken agreement not to bring it up again, but I felt a little embarrassed by how extremely I acted in their eyes.

Fortunately, Caroline became distracted when we entered a new store nearby. Specifically catering toward shoes.

I looked at the pair of heels the cheerleader had given me, and stared at her in disbelief. "These aren't heels, these are stilts."

"Slutty stilts." She corrected, and sternly started to lecture me on why I should at least practice walking in them. "-what if you end up at a sleep over, hmm? And you're dared to walk in them. Or- Or-! You are asked to prom by some cute boy and there's a strict dress code for girls to wear heels. What then?"

"I'll wear short heels."

Bonnie snickered, and stood up in her own boots, admiring how long her legs looked in the floor standing mirror. Caroline shook her head, frowning. "This isn't a laughing matter! This is serious!"

"How about..." I put the heels down, and motioned to her. "You teach me, show me how it's done."

"Gladly." She twirled on her heel, walking down the aisle between the shelves of shoes. Her chin was raised high, her locks bounced on her shoulders, and she definitely seemed to know how to control how her body looked, and jutted out her hips in a manner I'd only seen from supermodels and dancers. It was impressive, honestly. She came back, smirking, and stood in front of me. "Your turn, grasshopper."

"Okay, okay." I groaned. "Don't laugh at me. You're not allowed." I could already see her face twitching as I clasped the straps on the sides of my ankles, and stood slowly, shakily. My weight didn't feel evenly distributed, and I was forced to grab a nearby chair for balance. Caroline laughed, and I pointed at her furiously. "No laughing!"

That only succeeded in making her laugh more. "I should be recording this."

"Sweetie, you dare and I'll shove this slutty stilt up your arse."

Caroline paid for her own stuff, having about four dozen bags. Bonnie specifically had three, and I had two. Caroline, despite how shallow and one dimensional her character seemed on the show, was actually kinda considerate of my financial situation and opted to buy those heels, just claiming that I can repay her in kind by studying how to walk properly so I didn't embarrass her.

I chewed on my bottom lip, and cleared my throat as we waited for Bonnie outside. Caroline stopped looking through one of her bags and tilted her head up at me questionably and I fidgeted with my bag strap. "Hey... look, I'm sorry for acting so... weird before. It's just a personal thing. I also wanted to thank you for the shoes."

"Don't get sappy on me." She smiled. "And it's fine. You're not horrible."

I snorted. "Thanks."

"Do you want to exchange numbers?" She asked me, and I nodded with a bigger smile, trying to suppress a giggle at a thought; I'm slowly collecting all the main character's numbers like pokémon. "Now, if you're having trouble walking with heels-" and here she goes lecturing again. "Stretch your ankles, practice on carpet, not on hard floors, step heel first and toe second. You got that? Sam, are you listening to me?"

I thought I saw someone looking over at us, specifically at me. A car passed when I squinted across the street, and the figure I thought was there, was not.

"Uh, yeah, sorry, in my own world."

"Okay whatever, anyway-"

She continued to talk my ear off, giving different types of tips and advice on how to practice using heels. Bonnie came out of the store and rolled her eyes when she heard the source of Caroline's long winded lecture. Her mouth tilted up at the corners, sharing a small, inside joke smile with me. I couldn't help but return the gesture, as we all started to walk toward another store. My feet hurt, but I opted to stay quiet about it, not wanting to be annoying to the others and knowing that this was probably Caroline's test to see if someone was worthy enough to be a friend, either to her or Bonnie.

"Here, hold this for me?" Caroline asked, but it sounded more like an order as she shoved a shirt toward me, and I folded it over my arm with the other collection. It was a little heavy, but I put up with it. She thankfully stopped after that, and dragged us to the changing room. "So, Sam, are you going to the comet show tonight? I have a cute outfit already picked out."

"I don't know." I thought about it. Was there any need for me to go? Maybe to-

Oh. Right. She met Damon tonight...

There has to be a way to minimize the damage.

"Yeah, actually." I decided. "Do you want to go to mine after for a drink? My aunt is okay with it."

"Oh? Really?" She sounded surprised. "Well, I'm not a girl to turn down a free drink. I haven't got anything to do after. What are our options?"

"Whisky, which is my personal favourite." I tapped my finger on the bench situated just outside her changing room. "Gin and tonic, I think a few wine choices, some nice bubbly, she's not a fan of beer so she doesn't keep it in the house, though."

"Are you sure your aunt is okay with that?" Bonnie asked, a little sceptical.

"As long as we're responsible with it."

"Oh sure, we'll be plenty responsible." Caroline said, and I could hear her grin. "Okay, for real I'm going to bring some stuff so I know it's not going to be lame. Do you have movies? I wouldn't be opposed to playing a drinking game."

"Do I have movi- Just because I'm from England doesn't mean I'm from the 16 century, Caroline." I laughed.

"Okay, but do you have good movies?" She brushed the curtain open, and I nodded in approval to the black cocktail dress she sported, giving her a thumbs up. She did a proud twirl, then started to list off things on her fingers. "Examples; The Notebook, Twilight, Clueless, High School Musical, Jennifer's body, Wild Child, Definitely Maybe-"

"Okay, okay, I sense a certain theme, just bring any movies you like and we'll watch them."

Bonnie's brows twitched upward. "You're going to regret those words."

Caroline squealed and went back into the changing room. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

Oh boy.

The price I have to pay.

Lights hanged around trees in the park situated right in front of the Mystic Grill, a place I'd had yet to check out but been too cautious to. I could see about five people sitting outside the bar, a warm light coming from the window, with faint music to be heard. I fidgeted with the hem of my jacket sleeve, and craned my head to check out the crowd of different people in the park. Several people were sitting on a blanket, and others were standing. Bonnie and Caroline were collecting their candles ahead of me from a table handing them out freely. There were a surprising amount of stars in the sky, with the street lamps dimly illuminating the area.

It was still beautiful, but my heart squeezed almost painfully.

At least something is the same.

I sighed.

"Sam?" Bonnie called, and I quickly looked away from the darkening sky, shuffling over to take my candle. The lady, who looked up at me with a tired but polite smile. The lighter clicked in her hand, and she lit the wick for me. I nodded to her in thanks, and took my place beside Bonnie and Caroline.

"I wonder if that mysterious handsome man is gonna be here tonight." Caroline wiggled her eyebrows at Bonnie, and I suppressed the grimace from appearing on my face, knowing exactly who she was referring to already. "That hard to get act only works if I know his name and, like, have his number. Otherwise it's a waste of time, and my time is precious."

"Oh hey look, it's Elena." Bonnie waved toward someone, and my eyes flickered over.

There was no feeling in the world to describe the extreme surrealism I'd still feel every time I saw one of the main 'cast' portrayed by their actors/actresses, just brought to life, nor the awe that encompassed me.

Elena Gilbert was as beautiful as Nina Dobrev, having her respective face. She waved back to Bonnie and reached over toward us, and my eyes immediately went to her signature straight hair, already feeling slightly envious of how silky her hair was. It was no shock that the Salvatore brothers almost tore each other apart, because there was no denying that she was very pretty, and even though I didn't particularly like her character much, it was impossible not to instantly recognise the forced smile and the loneliness reflected right back at me through chocolate eyes.

"Elena," Bonnie started, and gave her a short side hug. She gestured to me, and it felt strange to have the main female protagonist look directly at me. "This is Sam, I told you about her."

"Ah," She said, with that infamous friendly retail smile. "Hey."

"Sam, this is Elena, my other best friend beside Caroline."

I fought my instinct to shake her hand, as I did with everyone, and just lifted my hand, giving my fingers a little greeting wiggle as I came to a startling realisation that I couldn't believe I forgot. Oh god, tonight might be a cesspit of main characters. Oh god does that mean Stefan-

I hoped to death he didn't find my racing heart suspicious, because I couldn't calm it.

Channel your inner Arnold. Pretend the vampires are Yautja. My nerd self lectured, but I didn't think advice from Alien vs Predator was going to help me any time soon. Besides, if I started to cover myself in mud to hide my heat signature, I doubted that worked against vampires. It would just make me look even more insane that I already felt.

"Oh boy." Bonnie muttered, and nudged her. "Matt's over there, if you wanna say hi. Might be better to talk to him. He still thinks he has a chance."

Elena exhaled. "He knows."

"Are you sure about that?"

She groaned under her breath and glanced over, and sure enough, I followed her gaze to see yearning baby blues looking her way, non too subtly. They did drift for a moment and Matt blinked when he saw me, brow furrowing in confusion and momentary surprise. I waved with an overly friendly smile, feeling like it probably appeared more sheepish. I hoped it didn't.

"Wait, you know Matt?" Bonnie asked, surprised. Elena's gaze snapped to me, equally so.

"Uhh..." I tried to think of a quick excuse. "He offered to help me at school, coz, I'm new, and I get lost. Easily."

"Really?" Bonnie's eyebrows rose a little. "Okay, maybe he's not as still into you as he makes it out."

"Oh come on, it's not like that." I tried to assure Elena, who didn't really... seem bothered by the thought of Matt with someone new. Her shoulders were a bit less tense, less awkward, she actually wore a mix of relief and something else I couldn't distinguish.

"It's okay." Elena gave me a bit more of an easy smile. "I think you should go for it."

"I'm good. I don't need to date." There was more truth to that statement that I would've liked to admit. "Way too much drama."

"Sometimes drama is a good thing. Keeps you stimulated." Caroline said with a scandalous smile as she came back. "And yes, I overheard. Matt's sweet, but there's no way he's over Elena, just because she's moved on." She shook her head at me. "Don't pick up her sloppy seconds, you can't compare to someone's ex when they're in rebound mode." She muttered the last words to me under her breath. "Especially Elena."

"Well, I heard that's how you get over someone." Bonnie piped up, ever the middle ground between the two frenemies. "Yo-"

"Guys." I interrupted, before it got heated, and held up my hands. "I'm good. I'm not looking for anything right now. I got too much on my plate."

"What, like runway practice?" Bonnie smirked.

Caroline, as predicted, became distracted by the mockery of what she considered serious duties. "Hey, I'll have you know I practised for hours when I was little so I didn't make a fool of myself."

"Uh huh."

The corners of Elena's mouth rose slightly, she nodded to me politely in acknowledgement before interjecting the other girls. "I'm gonna go say hi to Matt."

"I'm telling you, he's still in love with you." The taller blonde reminded her, but Elena pretended not to hear her, as she walked over toward him. Matt perked up slightly, seeing this. "Yup. See that? Head over heels." She inclined her head to me. "Don't get your hopes up."

"Why does everyone think I wanna date when I've said I don't?" I said aloud in frustration, mostly to myself, as Caroline wasn't listening.

"Just teasing, I mean nothing by it." Bonnie assured me. I sighed and shot her a half annoyed, half joking smile. She returned the expression, but it changed as Caroline greeted someone behind me, growing less light hearted. "Ah, Sam, run while you can."

"Why?" I turned my head, and instantly there was an uncomfortable tinge in my stomach when I saw Caroline hugging a familiar Lockwood. Oh. Him.

"Tyler, this is my little side project! She's from England- I know, fancy." Caroline motioned to me. "From zero to hero, not completely make-over'd though obviously. I'm still working on it. Sammy, this is Tyler, our resident hot jock douchebag."

"Thanks Care." He said dryly, barely glancing over at me. She gave him her famous too-sweet-to-be-real smile, a sprinkle of feisty passive aggression in it.

"You're welcome!"

Outside of the show, I always tried to take Tyler Lockwood in the pilot episode with a grain of salt, considering the show writers needed to single out the exaggerated douchebag character, and he never did what the show implied he was trying to do. It was also a different time period, so the writers tried to give characters one dimensional, cardboard cut-out characteristics.

But actually facing him now, made me a tad uneasy. Did that scene actually happen? Or was it exclusive to the show? What if it is? Was it to do more with his violent werewolf gene? It didn't really excuse it, but I couldn't outright accuse the guy when I had no evidence and never met him before. How will I find out if he really tried to do that or not? Vicki, maybe?

I resigned to just keeping an eye on him for now.

He sat down on a nearby memorial bench with dark wood and metal frames, before fully acknowledging me. I didn't realise I was glaring until he frowned at me. "What the hell's your problem?"

The others turned to face me, and I jumped, quickly rearranging my features to be more relaxed to feign ignorance. "Huh?"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you have a problem with me." He accused casually, leaning back on the bench and resting his arm over the back of the bench. "Or is that some British thing to glare at people?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." The wry smile he gave was obnoxious. His jawline was sharp, obscenely, and his eyes appeared so dark I could've sworn they were black. Typically, I would've counted him as handsome. But as of right now, I wanted to actually hit him, or spit obscene profanities. "Where'd you find her highness, Care?"

I didn't want to. I really didn't, but I quickly cleared my throat before she could answer and said, "Sorry. My bad. I have resting bitch face when I stare into nothing, which I was doing."

He gave me a charismatic grin, but it boiled my blood more. "Ah, so it's a British thing, right? I heard you're all miserable."

"Sure, sweetie." I said, an unimpressed, bitter edge slipping into my tone. Oops.

Caroline openly giggled, and Bonnie covered her smile with a cough. Tyler rose an eyebrow. "Must be true, then."

Before I could retort, I noticed a blond male walking into the little circle we'd formed. He looked a little sheepish at the awkward, thick tension that followed after his arrival. "Uh, I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"Nothing important." I told him. "Just the noise of some whining dog." Tyler's brow furrowed and he sat up. At first I was amused by my own private joke, but the vein revealing itself in his temple as he clenched his jaw made me quickly rethink my stance. If I piss him off too much... "It's a joke, just a joke." I quickly added. "Miserable old British humour. We insult our friends."

"Who said I was your friend?"

"Jeez Ty, what pissed in your cereal?" Matt asked, a little taken aback by his attitude. Short tempered or not, he probably didn't show this much hostility toward the female variety openly, let alone someone he barely knew. I knew exactly why he was... irate.

"Nothing, man." Tyler dismissively swatted his hand, leaning back quietly to his bench. He didn't bother looking at me anymore, glancing off to the side with another clenched jaw, furrowed brow easing a little as he gained control over his anger. "Nothing..."

Fuck. I shouldn't be letting my own bias get in the way here. I reminded myself. I didn't need enemies in my situation. It was already too late to take back my first impression, so I needed to focus on making friends from now on. Allies. It was just hard to play nice all the time. To play doormat if it required it. All this socialisation was tiring already, let alone keeping my diplomacy face secured.

"Oh look, another weird new kid." Tyler muttered, gaining everyone's attention.

I turned my eyes, and saw none other than Stefan Salvatore.

It really is a cesspit tonight.