Chapter 6
The room was in darkness apart from one small puddle of light where the corner lamp dimly illuminated the sofa.
Pepa was curled up on the sofa asleep, with her head at an angle that Silvia knew was going to leave her with a stiff neck if she stayed like it. Her left hand was gently resting on the edge of the bassinet where their little miracle lay sleeping soundly.
On that day in the hospital, Silvia's acute distress meant that she had missed the surgeon's next words. Showing truly terrible timing he had stopped to take a breath before continuing, "It is still touch and go, we managed to revive Senora Miranda Castro, but it has taken over 6 litres of mixed IV saline and blood to stabilise her." With three people waiting on his every word, and somewhat feeling the drama of the occasion, he declared dramatically, "At one point she definitely had her hand on the handle of death's door, but we are hopeful that now that we can keep her from entering."
This time he had to pause until the cacophony of voices had finished yelling, before he could finish his proclamation "Vale, and there is of course also the healthy baby daughter who is safe and well, despite her early entry into the world."
Sara had carelessly dropped to her knees, gently shaking Silvia and carefully repeating the important parts of the Doctor's speech over and over again until the words penetrated Silvia's grief-stricken haze and she finally understood that Pepa, and their daughter, were alive and in that instant she was reborn.
It had taken a long time for Pepa and their little one to recover sufficiently to leave the hospital, but their family was all together again now. However, Pepa's body was still recovering from her ordeal, exhausted from her near-death experience and, more often than not, she fell asleep when her body demanded it, not when Pepa thought she should.
As long as she carefully avoided considering the reason, Silvia thought it was almost cute the way in which Pepa could fall asleep, sometimes half way through a sentence, but it was making Pepa very cranky as she somehow felt it meant she was weak by giving in to her body's demands and that 'some people' – although Silvia had absolutely no idea who these 'people' might be – nonetheless, 'some people' might think that Pepa was incapable of looking after their daughter. Therefore, despite Silvia's daily entreaties to Pepa to please wake her for the night feeds, she would often get up herself and then would, more often than not, fall asleep on the sofa after rocking Alanze back to sleep.
Now, rather than wake Pepa to try to persuade her to come to bed to sleep, a practise that she had tried on two previous occasions and which had resulted both times in a distressed and miserable Pepa lying Silvia's chest whilst she berated herself, almost too quietly to hear, about her supposed inadequacies and failures. Which then, as Silvia had to ensure she kept reminding Pepa that she had been through a terrible ordeal and that she should give herself time to heal, meant that in actuality neither of them had gone back to sleep.
Therefore, they had been working together, trying to negotiate the best way to tackle this latest wrinkle in their sleeping arrangements. On the occasions when Silvia found Pepa asleep on the sofa, after ensuring Alanze was asleep, she would gently cover Pepa with a warm throw that Lola had given them and then, after carefully removing the nursing pillow from behind Pepa's back, Silvia would gingerly slide her body in behind her whilst skilfully bracketing Pepa's body with her legs.
On this occasion Pepa woke, twisting and gazing blearily up at Silvia. Blinking sleepily, she mumbled "Te Amo Pelirroja", and then gave Silvia a quick kiss on the lips before scooting down until she could rest her head on Silvia's chest. She wrapped one long arm around Silvia's body whilst with her other hand she wound their fingers together, as they both settled down into a comfortable position.
Silvia softly stroked her love's silky hair with her free hand, soothing her fractious wife with gentle words and soft kisses in response to Pepa's hushed, garbled complaints about her treacherous body not mending quickly enough for her tastes, until her breathing slowly evened out and she fell asleep once more.
As the dark corners of the room started to lighten with the coming of the dawn, Silvia felt the tears start again. This time, however, she simply laid her cheek against Pepa's head, looking over at Alanze, and let them fall whilst whispering "Te Amo, mi Cario, para siempre".
Just as her distress still occasionally found it's outlet in dark dreams and the bitter tears she had experienced earlier that evening. Silvia thought that the blissful peace that she felt in her heart, joined as it was by the awe-inspiring love she felt for her clever, sensitive, wonderful wife and their delightful little daughter, meant that it was only fitting she should also get to shed tears of joy. Tears that anyone would shed on experiencing the overwhelming and astonishing feelings that she had as she contemplated her younger self's wildest dreams manifested as reality.
The End
Translations
Eres mi media naranja - You are my other half, literally "you're my half orange"
Lo siento - Sorry / I'm sorry
Lo siento. Te quiero con todo mi corazón - I'm sorry. I love you with all of my heart
Madre - Mother
Mi amor - My love
Mi corazón - My heart
Mi querida - My darling/dear
Oh Dios - Oh God
Pelirroja - Redhead
Querido Dios - Dear God
Si, si, vale - Yes, yes, OK
Te Amo, mi Cario, para siempre - I love you, my darling, forever
Todo mi amor, para siempre - All my love, forever
Te Amo Pelirroja - I love you Redhead