It was late Wednesday night when Mark heard a horse enter the yard. Expecting it to be his pa, the young man paid it no mind, only for a knock to sound at the door. He answered it, less than pleased to find Micah standing on the porch.
"What do you want?"
"I need to talk to your pa. He around?"
"No, he's not." Mark started to shut the door, but the marshal stopped him.
"Please, Mark, can I come in for a minute?"
"You're not welcome here. Pa's in town so if you really want to talk to him, you best get on your way before he leaves."
"I was hoping to talk to him, but I reckon you and me need to talk about a few things, too."
"There's nothing to talk about!"
Micah followed Mark as the boy turned around and walked inside. "Just how long do you plan on holding this against me?"
"Just how long do you plan on keeping things from us?" Mark whipped around to face the marshal. "All Pa wants to do is talk to the man! That's not a crime, is it?!"
"You don't know your pa like I do…"
"You're right, Micah, I don't. I know him better! I've spent all fifteen years of my life watching him. I've seen death in his eyes before, and I can tell you it's not there now! He's angry. Angry and bitter and there's still a whole lot of hate in his eyes, but my pa ain't out to kill nobody! All he wants is answers and you're keeping the one piece of information from my pa that just might help him put all this in the past!"
"Mark, there are some things you just won't be able to understand until-"
"I'm not a child anymore! The matter of the fact is that you're scared. You're scared of admitting that you were wrong, so instead of facing the truth, you attack my pa's character and intentions!"
"That's the most outlandish thing I've ever heard!"
"Then why won't you tell him?! He's going to find out from Judge Hannavan anyway!"
"Judge Hannavan won't do anything of the kind! He understands the truth. He understands why your father can't know!"
"He's going to find out, Micah. Someway, somehow, he's gonna find out with or without the help of our so-called friends!"
"If you're so confident in that, then why are you so riled at me?"
"Why am I so riled?! Micah, I thought I could trust you! I thought I could depend on you! And you LIED to me! You betrayed us!"
"Everything I did was to protect you!"
"You just don't get it, do you?! Reef Jackson has completely turned our lives upside down! Reef Jackson tried to kill me, just because he wanted to die! If he isn't in jail like you say he is-"
"I never said…!" The marshal stopped short, staring at the young man for a long moment. "...What are you talking about?"
"You never said what?"
"Never mind that. What are you-"
"No, Micah! Either you tell me everything right now, or you leave!"
"What do you mean Reef wanted to die? The man spent ten years running from Lucas!"
"Apparently it doesn't matter! Apparently I couldn't possibly understand the ramifications of someone shooting me to get to my pa! Just leave, Micah! This isn't any of your concern!"
"Not my concern? Mark McCain, you listen-"
"What's going on here?" Micah and Mark turned around to see Lucas walking through the door. "I could hear you two yelling half way from the bridge!"
"Ask Micah," Mark mumbled, brushing past his father.
Lucas watched his son walk to the barn before turning towards the marshal. "Well?"
"Is there something you're not telling me, Lucas-boy?"
"Is there something I'm not telling you?" he incredulously asked.
"Mark said something about Jackson shooting him… because he wanted to die?"
"Oh, that..." Lucas turned to shut the door and set his rifle in the stand.
"Yes, that!"
"...Before… before Jackson… shot Mark… he said it was the only way he could get me to go after him. ...At first, Mark thought it was so Reef could kill me. ...But when Reef came the first time, he… he asked me to kill him."
"He what?"
Lucas nodded. "He wanted to die and I… I wouldn't let him. So he came back. ...He came back… and he shot my son… he shot him so I would track him down and kill him. ...I… I don't understand it. ...If he was so desperate to die, why not do it himself? I refused him once… after ten years of looking, no less. ...Why… why would he shoot an innocent boy?" Lucas's gaze shifted out the window, towards the barn.
"...Some questions are best left unanswered."
Lucas whipped around to look at the marshal again. "No, Micah. Not this question. This… this question has to be answered. This and so many others… that's why I have to talk to him."
"...I'm sorry. But I can't. You said yourself Reef did it so you would go after him. I care for you and that boy too much to-"
"It doesn't matter. You can keep your secrets. Judge Hannavan listened to reason."
"...Then you know…?"
"Everything, Micah. He told me everything."
"...I didn't agree with the sentence… Jackson deserves to be in jail. But I… Lucas, I tried to do what was best for-"
"You coerced a confession so you could make the whole thing a private affair to keep the identity of my son's would-be killer from me!" Again, Lucas looked out the window, this time walking to it before going on. "...Sooner or later, you and I are going to have to come to an understanding about what happened. I don't think either one of us are going anywhere, so eventually, we're going to have to learn how to live with each other. Right now, I'm too busy trying to come to terms with the fact that the man I called my best friend… the man I've trusted my son's life with, willfully and repeatedly lied to me."
"Lucas…"
The rancher turned to the marshal, his face filled with warning. "Don't go near the boy, Micah. When he's ready, he'll talk to you. He has enough to deal with right now."
There was a long silence between the two men before Micah slowly nodded. "...Alright, Lucas-boy. ...I'll be seeing you."
Lucas watched as Micah headed out the door, mounted up, and rode away. He walked outside and stood on the porch for a long time before finally making his way to the barn.
"Mark?"
"...He gone?"
Lucas followed his son's voice up to the hayloft where he found Mark sitting, picking apart pieces of straw.
"He's gone. ...There will come a time when you'll have to learn to talk to him peaceably."
"I don't see why I have to talk to him at all."
"...Seems to me it'd be quite a feat to live in a place the rest of your life without talking to the marshal."
Mark let out a deep breath as he shook his head. "...Something keep you in town? I thought you'd be home a long time ago."
"Judge Hannavan returned early."
"...And?"
Lucas took another step up the ladder before turning to sit beside his son. "He's in Colorado… Judge Hannavan sentenced him to spend the rest of his life in an insane asylum up there."
"An asylum?!"
"Son, I understand your frustration, but just hear me through. I wasn't too thrilled with Judge Hannavan at first, either. But Reef Jackson is a sick man. I could see it when he first returned… he wasn't almost mad. He was mad. ...That doesn't change what he did to you… but it does mean that he needs to serve his time in a place that's prepared to handle someone like him. It means he needs to be put in a place where he won't be a threat to other people."
Mark slowly nodded. "...When are you leaving?"
"I don't know yet. That depends on how you're doing."
"...What do you mean? Doc said by the time I see him next week that I should-"
"That's not what I'm talking about."
Mark's eyes briefly met his father's before he let his gaze drop to the floor below.
"Son, I know it's bothering you. I can see it. Your teacher sees it. Doc Burrage sees it. ...But we can't help you if you don't talk about it."
"...I don't want to talk about it with them."
"...What about me?"
Lucas continued to look at his son, waiting for him to answer. A long time passed before Mark finally found his voice.
"...I knew I should have left. As soon as I stepped inside... I knew I should have gotten back on BlueBoy and ridden back to town. ...But I didn't. There was just something about him. ...You always did say my curiosity was going to get me into big trouble one day…"
"Mark…"
"...I asked who he was and he said it didn't matter… he kept going on about how he didn't want to do it… that he had been driven to that point. …I… I begged him not to…" Mark swallowed hard, taking comfort in the reassuring hand his pa had placed on his shoulder. "...It was different than I expected. I felt the initial pain, and then… then all of a sudden it was gone… I couldn't feel anything. Like… like when I hurt my legs. ...And then it got cold… cold and dark, and… I… I remembered those last few moments, before you left for Paradise. ...How I said I'd see you when you got home. ...And I thought… I thought I wouldn't." Mark slowly looked up to meet Lucas's eyes. "Pa, I… I was scared. ...I thought that was it… that I was going to bleed out and… and Micah or… or you were going to find me. ...I thought I'd never see you again…" He again quieted before going on. "...It's a strange thing… thinking… thinking you're going to die. It makes you realize how much you take for granted… how many things you complain about that… that you really should be grateful for. ...Right about then I'd… I woulda given anything to hear you hollering at me to do my chores or… or prodding me to get up for school. ...Pa, I wasn't ready to die."
Lucas closed his eyes as he pulled his boy close. "You had no reason to be. But you survived, Mark… you fought and you survived. That's what's important. ...It's not going to all just go away… what happened is going to stay with you a long time. But you survived. And as long as you remember that… as long as you keep fighting, you'll get through this. We'll get through this."
"...I'm sorry, Pa…"
Lucas looked down in confusion, putting some distance between himself and his son. "You're sorry? What on earth for?"
"Not walking away. If I had…"
"If you had, I'm sure Reef would have followed right after you. This is not your fault, Son. Do you understand me?"
Mark looked into his pa's eyes for a long time before finally nodding. "...Why did Reef want so badly to die? What… what would drive a person to… to want to be killed? ...By trying to kill someone else, no less? Pa, I… I just don't understand…"
"...I don't either. ...I don't think it's something we'll ever be able to truly understand, but… I know you want answers… I know we both need answers. ...I just hope that when it's time, Reef will be able to give us those answers."
"...What if he doesn't?"
Lucas took in a deep breath, tightening his grip on Mark's shoulder. "Son, when the time does come for me to go to Colorado, I don't know what's going to happen. But I promise you that whatever does happen, we'll find a way through it, together. And I want you to know that it's alright to talk about it. I don't want you to keep everything locked up inside of you."
Mark slowly nodded. "...I just wasn't ready."
"That's alright. As long as you know that I'm here to listen whenever you are."
"...I do. …I… I know you would usually say no, but… but can I stay home from school tomorrow? Just tomorrow? I… I…"
"It's alright. This is one time… mind you, the only time," he added with a hint of jest, "You don't need to explain."
"Thanks, Pa."
A little less than three weeks later, father and son agreed that it was time for Lucas to make the trip to Colorado. However, as the time for him to leave got closer, Lucas began to realize how difficult it was going to be to leave his son at home. He knew there was no reason to think anything would happen while he was gone… but nothing should have happened the last time he left, either. That was why he had made certain arrangements for Mark and the ranch while he was gone. Arrangements his son wasn't too pleased with.
"Please, Pa, I don't want to be stuck in town with Micah. All he'll want to do is try to talk about it!"
"I've told Micah not to push the issue. He knows it's best to give you time. He hasn't done any differently, has he?"
"...No, but… but you've been home. As soon as you leave…"
"I'm sorry, Son, but I don't want you here by yourself while I'm gone."
"Well then how am I supposed to do the chores?"
"I've already talked to Oat. Some of his hands are going to take care of the ranch while I'm gone. I don't want you leaving town under any circumstances; I don't care who you're with."
"But I can't avoid Micah in town- not like I can here! I can't even get to school and back home without running into him as it is!"
"Mark, I understand your frustration with Micah. I can't and I'm not going to force you to forgive him. But I am not raising you to run away from everything and everyone that upsets you. You're going to have to learn to live with a lot of people that you don't like and while I'm gone I expect you treat the marshal with the respect his office deserves, do you understand me?"
"...Yes sir. But… but I just don't understand why I have to stay in town. Why can't-"
"Because that's the way I said it's going to be!" Lucas abruptly stood, dropping his napkin on the table. "I don't want to hear another word. Do the dishes and then finish your homework."
Lucas grabbed his rifle from the stand and made his way out to the barn before starting on the evening chores. As he worked, all he could hear was Micah telling him, 'Mark was shot.' All he could see were the wounds he had spent weeks redressing. All he could feel was pain, heartache, and regret.
In time, the rancher made his way back to the porch. He eased himself onto the steps as he let out a heavy sigh, looking out across the horizon. He knew they needed to talk about it before he left, but it was the last thing he wanted to do. He felt as though admitting his fears would only give them that much more validity.
Evening had given way to night before Lucas heard the cabin door open and close behind him. Mark hesitantly took two steps forward before leaning against the porch post opposite his pa.
"...I'm sorry."
"Me too." Lucas gestured for Mark to sit down beside him, taking in a deep breath. "...This isn't easy for me. We both know this needs to happen so we can start putting all this in the past… I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be for me to leave you behind."
"...If it would make you feel better, I… I can…"
"No, Son. I know you don't feel comfortable going and I understand why. I won't put you through that just because I'm having trouble letting go. ...But I need you to be in town, not here by yourself where any number of things could go wrong. ...If Lou and Micah hadn't been expecting you last time… I don't want to know how long it would have been before… before someone would have found you. That's why I want you to stay at the hotel. That's why I don't want you to leave town. It's only for a few days."
"I understand. ...Pa, do you think anyone else in town knew?"
"Knew what?"
"That it was Reef Jackson?"
"...I don't know. Micah being so worried about me finding out… I'm sure he wasn't shouting it from the rooftops."
"...But?"
"...Like I said, I don't know. Enough damage has been done. I don't reckon it'll do any good to go stirring up more trouble."
Mark slowly nodded. "...What time does your train leave?"
"Six. Speaking of which, we best turn in… we have an early morning ahead of us."
Lucas got little sleep that night. He knew worrying wasn't going to do any good, but as the father of Mark McCain, it was something he had grown accustomed to. Not a day passed that he didn't feel some concern for his son, and recent events had only amplified his worries. Nonetheless, Lucas knew they couldn't live in the world of 'what if…'. And as much as he didn't want to, Lucas knew he had to take this trip.
Father and son rode into town early the next morning. The streets of North Fork were quiet, and only a few people milled about the train depot. Mark walked with Lucas to the platform, listening as his father continued to give him instructions.
"...And if you're going to be out past dark for any reason, you be sure to let Lou know and to tell her exactly where you're going to be."
"I know, Pa. I'll be fine. This is North Fork, remember?"
"Don't be so quick to remind me, I might make you go with me," he teased, quieting as he looked Mark over one last time. "...I'll be back Monday."
"I'll be waiting when your train gets in. See you then."
Lucas gave his son's shoulder a firm pat and tight squeeze before stepping towards the train. "Don't be late for school."
"Late? It doesn't start for another two hours!"
"Exactly. Don't lose track of time!"
"I won't," he answered with a smile. "Bye, Pa."
Once the train had disappeared from view, Mark stabled his father's horse and made his way to the hotel where he was greeted by Lou. After putting his bag in his room, the young man enjoyed a second breakfast before he found himself doing a few repairs around the hotel. Despite his father's warning, the young man was almost late for school, arriving just as Ms. Pritchard was calling the class to order.
Mark was quick to finish his homework that afternoon before making his way to the livery. He spent several hours helping Nils with the horses between rounds of checkers, most of which he was pleased to win.
That evening as he was getting ready for bed, Mark heard a commotion down the street. He walked to the window to see Micah stepping out of his office and making his way to the saloon. Again, Mark felt the anger and bitterness welling up inside of him; and yet, in just a few short moments, all of that would change.
The unmistakable sound of a shotgun echoed through the night and was quickly answered by a chorus of gunfire. Mark's hand gripped the window frame as he intensely stared down at the saloon, waiting to hear the marshal's shotgun fire once again. ...But the sound never came. And instead of frustration and animosity, the young man was suddenly gripped by an overwhelming sense of worry and fear.