Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
"Would you mind telling me what happened from the moment you entered that maze? In as much detail as you can." Harry described the entire thing and then Dumbledore helped him extract his memories of the event so they could observe them later.
"Sir...do you feel sorry for Tom?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue. "It's just that...he spent his childhood just wanting someone to be friends with and when no one would be friends with him he started talking to snakes when they took that outing and everyone that tolerated him turned on him-it must have been terrifyingly lonely for him. Do you think...do you ever wonder if that's why he turned out the way he has? That when he came to Hogwarts and was finally recognized and liked by everyone he took it to an extreme because he didn't know how else to handle it?" Harry watched in awe as Dumbledore's jaw dropped. He looked to be in a faraway place, thinking incredibly hard and muttering to himself.
"Harry, you may be the most insightful person I've ever met. That would make complete sense."
"Sorry sir, but I'm afraid I don't understand."
"It's quite alright, it has to do with Tom's sixth year. We're not quite that far, but there's less of his fifth year so we should be able to make it that far this summer. For now, I want you to know something because I can see you were conflicted about it when you talked about it. Severus came to me years ago, just before you were born, and turned his back on Voldemort. He's a spy for us, and a clever one at that. Tonight when his mark flared to life, he informed me that the maze was taking longer than anticipated and that he had some Skele-Gro brewing that required his immediate attention. He said that so he'd have an excuse for his absence; he went to Voldemort tonight to try and get into his good graces with bits and pieces of information that would sell his "usefulness" to Voldemort. In turn, Voldemort will entrust Severus with information that will be incredibly useful for us. I don't want you to fear him, he's the most loyal man I've ever come across." Just then Snape entered the office and slammed the door shut just before collapsing into a chair that conveniently flew from across the room to get under him before he hit the floor.
"Severus, what good timing. Here, I can see you'll be needing this," Dumbledore handed Snape a vial of something the colour of deep rubies. He gulped it down and sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and then opening them again.
"The Dark Lord is, indeed, back. He is even more insane than he was before, believing himself to be immortal. He plans to overthrow the ministry from the inside out-he's already got spies there, infiltrating things."
"Yes, we had suspected as much." Snape's entire body shuddered and Dumbledore handed over a second vial. The contents were gone before Harry could even think to ask what was in it. "Crouch is one of his followers. He's been trying to kill Potter with the tournament, either by design or by negligent dangers. While the Dark Lord no longer cares that he's escaped, his followers certainly do and will stop at nothing to eradicate him." A strong silence followed.
"Um...professor? Are you alright?" Snape nodded, but he looked older than Harry had ever seen him.
"He is fond of the cruciatus curse and I had no time to prepare prior to being called. I shall live."
"Harry, I think it's best if you go up to bed now. Since you no longer have classes, I will expect you in my office when your friends go to class in the morning. We'll pick up our explorations then. And Harry?" Dumbledore handed him a vial with a deep purple potion in it. "Take one spoonful of this before bed if you think you'll need it to sleep but no more. I expect you to return this tomorrow morning." Harry took it.
"Yes, sir. I'll see you in the morning."
Harry tried sleeping as soon as he went back to the dorm but found that silencing charms didn't silence the mind, so he took a spoonful of potion and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. In the morning, he was grateful that he had taken the spoonful and felt more well rested than he had in a long time.
Dumbledore was waiting when he arrived after breakfast. The headmaster gave him a cup of tea and folded his hands on his desk. It looked like he hadn't slept all night, but with all the commotion of the previous day that didn't surprise him.
"Harry, we need to have a little chat about our dear Tom." Dumbledore hung his head and inhaled deeply, clearly reluctant to go one. "There are things we haven't gotten to quite yet in his life, but you need to be aware of them. So I can either spoil the ending, so to speak, or we can focus solely on Tom Riddle until we've gone through all the memories I have."
"How long will that take, do you think?" Dumbledore smiled and chuckled quietly.
"I thought you might ask. I'd estimate it would take us through August this summer if we start after breakfast and watch memories until just before dinner." Harry was hesitant to ask his next question, but he was too hopeful to hear a yes so he asked before he could think too hard on it.
"Can I watch the memories past that, if I want?" A twinkle formed in the older man's eyes.
"I'm glad you asked. I think it's better to get through as many memories as possible so we can prepare for the future."
"Is that a yes?" Harry couldn't help but clarify, he looked forward to seeing the boy grow and didn't want to misunderstand.
"Yes, we'll go for as long as you want to each day until we reach the end. I believe we were just about to start Tom's summer after his fourth year." With that, the two started delving into more memories.
They'd just gotten done watching a rather boring day, but Tom had been off. When they surfaced, Harry asked Dumbledore about it.
"Well, that's rather interesting that you should say that. Tom always had a bit of a fascination with things that aren't typically accepted in the muggle world, wouldn't you say?" Harry nodded. "My understanding is that Tom was rather taken by the boy he encountered at the park on the orphanage's little outing. But being attracted to people of your own gender, especially in the 1940's, was considered incredibly taboo. The result, which you just witnessed, was Tom realizing he wanted something that he knew he couldn't have."
"So is Tom gay?" Dumbledore laughed until tears streamed down his face and Harry couldn't help but join in. Even Fawkes trilled in such a way that could have been taken for hearty laughter.
"My goodness, well don't tell him that to his face! I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it, but it is my suspicion that he might be." They didn't say much more on the subject, but thinking about how Tom might be interested in boys certainly made Harry's insides feel quite fluttery.
Nothing intense happened until Tom started doing more research into his family during his fifth year at Hogwarts. He had learned that his mother was a pureblood from the Gaunt family and very quickly learned the truth behind his parentage. The moment he realized his father didn't care one whit about him and left his mother once realizing she had tricked him, he'd gone on a rampage. According to Dumbledore, many of the trees in the Forbidden Forest still bore the burn marks where he'd flung curses.
They took a break from the pensieve for lunch after that memory and Harry couldn't shake a few thoughts he had on it.
"Sir...I can't help but think about how Tom felt about his father." Dumbledore swallowed a rather large bite of his turkey sandwich while making an odd face with one eye closed and the other open.
"Goodness, I need to chew more before I swallow. What's on your mind?"
"Well, Tom has rather set ideas on what he wanted his parents to have. He's an orphan, all he wanted was someone to accept him and everywhere around him outside of the orphanage was people wanting to spend time with their children-as much as possible. So...his problems with muggles...could that be because his father was still alive and let him continue to be an orphan? What I mean is, do you think he derived his hatred of muggles specifically because he hated his father for letting him suffer in the orphanage when he could have helped? Was he so blindsighted by the fact that his father knew about him but didn't care the reason he's so hateful towards muggles? That he's grouped them all into this horrible rendition even if it's only a small percentage of them that would do something like this?"
Dumbledore stroked his beard and slowly nodded.
"I think you may be right. Tom did have a certain tolerance of them up until this point, didn't he? It wasn't that he hated them, he simply paid them no mind. They weren't important until then but after this, they do become a focal point for him. I suppose you're likely right about that." Harry could practically feel his heart breaking for the fifteen year old Tom that had learned to accept his parents were dead just before he had that idea ripped away from him. It wouldn't have left a good taste in his mouth either.
From that point on, Tom made a point to put more effort into his looks. He charmed everyone around him with a fierceness that almost blew Harry clean off his feet and felt sadder and sadder as he watched Tom grow more and more reserved. No longer did he genuinely smile, he merely did so for the appearances. Nothing he said was passionate, unless it had something to do with the dark arts or anti-muggle propaganda. Gone was the soft-hearted Tom that Harry had grown to care for so much and here to stay was a teenager so jaded that anyone with eyes could have taken notice.
Girls followed him relentlessly, trying to get into his good graces so they could be the one to snag the most charming boy there. Each time they tried, he politely declined and while they'd be upset in the moment, they'd move on. Tom, however, spent quite a bit of time staring at parents with their children at Hogsmeade weekends-he always glared at the parents for a moment or two before smiling softly at whatever antics the children would get up to. Then his expression would darken and he'd shake his head before throwing himself into more studying. The cycle continued all through his fifth year until, finally, they caught a glimpse of one of the books he was reading.
Philters for Phertility and Prophylactic Prognosis: A Comprehensive Collection of Cures for the Complex Conditions Curer
"Sir, is that book in-"
"The library? Certainly not. I do, however, have a copy if you wish to do some light reading." Harry thanked him and they moved onto the next memory.
That night, Harry flipped through the book until he was around the same area that Tom had been when he'd seen that memory earlier in the day. The book covered a wide range of sexual diseases, problems and general upkeep. This particular area of the book, however, seemed to focus on fertility. It caught Harry's eye because the middle of the book had nothing to do with sexuality, nor did it have anything to do with men's fertility; this was specifically for the women. A small paragraph caught his attention and he found himself banging on Dumbledore's door neigh on midnight.
"Harry, everything alright?"
"Yes, sir," He paused and took in Dumbledore's teal and mauve striped nightgown with a matching cap and soft pink slippers. "Er...I can wait until morning, I didn't mean to disturb you-"
"Nonsense, come in, come in! What's on your mind?"
"I think I found what made Tom so angry when he was reading this book." He turned the tome around and pointed to the section he had just finished reading only minutes before. "He spent so much time looking at other children that I thought he might want to have one at some point-if for nothing else than to give that child the life he never had but always wanted, but look! This is an excerpt from a potion master that says it's currently-at the time, anyway-impossible for males to be surrogates because even decades after research had been done no one had yet to create a potion that would allow the child to survive. Perhaps we were right and he is gay, which would render his want for a child of his own useless. Either way he loses, he would either have to accept himself and be happy with what he had or would have to be with a woman to have a child."
Dumbledore thought for a long while. So long, in fact, that Harry was beginning to wonder if Dumbledore had learned to sleep with his eyes open.
"You may be right. That would be devastating to learn, if that's what was going on in his mind. But I wonder why he didn't find a more updated copy to read, if that's the case. You see, this was published in 1896. Since then, more potion masters had done research into the subject-Severus himself studied with the potion master who had created a potion that would, in theory, create the perfect environment in men's bodies for them to carry to term without harm to them or the baby. The only issue was the conception part. To my knowledge, that hasn't really been perfected but it's something that had Tom applied his knowledge to he could have likely figured out a way to make it work."
Harry shrugged. "You've said so yourself, sir, sometimes your emotions cloud rationality."
"That, my boy, is too true."