Hey! Roxy Goth here. So this chapter takes place in 1962. Millicent Rabbit is from the 1957 cartoon, Rabbit Romeo.
Bugs - 24
Elmer - 27
See chapter one for the disclaimer and let's crack on!
Toontown was full of weird, wacky characters. Given the nature of it [I.E. as essentially a dumping ground for the toons - albeit a largely nice, upmarket one that was actually well-thought out and kept care off] it was inevitable that a good few of those characters would be completely insane/just plain unpleasant to be around.
Both Elmer and Bugs's usual style was to just humour the insane ones and ignore the unpleasant ones, however occasionally the actions of one of them demanded a result. That was the case in 1962 when Millicent Rabbit decided to stick her nose into their relationship.
Millicent Rabbit had been in one of Bugs and Elmer cartoon, the 1957 'Rabbit Romeo' and it was safe to say she'd had a bit of a crush on him ever since. She sent him admiring notes [She, like all toons, couldn't write, so she just drew pictures of hearts and stuff.] She sent balloons and chocolates on Valentines Day. She sent carrots on Bugs's birthday and on Christmas.
Bugs's reaction to this, at first, was to be flattered and show off that he had an admirer. He was swiftly called out on this by Petunia who was horrified he was 'stringing the poor girl along' and demanded Bugs let her down gently.
This was, in theory, easy especially as Bugs has been unofficially 'out' for the last five years.
It was not easy. Millicent's reaction was to scream, cry and throw herself on the ground like a toddler having a tantrum. It was a full two hours before Bugs could calm her down enough to be able to leave safely.
Bugs had thought that would be the end of it, but still Millicent sent him gifts and flowers. His reaction now was to throw them in the bin. Then, after about two years ago, the gifts and cards stopped coming and Bugs assumed she had finally got the message.
Then, out the blue, he got a phone call from her. Bugs had been in the middle of trying to prepare dinner for him and Elmer [the first time in weeks they'd manage to have a date] when the phone rang. Muttering under his breath about timing and how if it was Daffy he'd kill him, he answered it.
"Hiya, Bugsy-Boo." A irritatingly-familiar voice crooned at him.
Bugs frowned slightly. "Millicent?"
"You remember me!" She sounded delighted.
Bugs took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Whaddya want?"
"Aw. Is that any way to treat a gal?"
"When it's you, then yes. Seriously Millicent, whaddya want? Oi'm assumin' this isn't a social call after two years?"
"Well, we could've been together if you'd had just said yes!"
Deluded, Bugs thoughts to himself. Absolutely deluded.
"Yeah, well dere's a couple of issues with dat idea, Millicent, number one bein' Oi have NO interest in you whatsoever and never have and secondly - in case you've been living under a rock for the past five years - Oi'm going out with Elmer!"
"Oh. Are you? Have you asked him recently?" This was followed by a high-pitched giggle and the phone being put down.
Bugs replaced the receiver with a feeling of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. What the hell did that mean? Bugs had only spoken to Elmer last night - to confirm that dinner was still on and to ask his partner would like him to make - Elmer had sounded fine then. But now...
Bugs dialled Fudd's number and waited impatiently for the other to pick up.
"Hewwo?" Fudd sounded suspicious, but that wasn't unusual. They received weird phone-calls all the time.
"Elmer! It's Bugs-"
"-Yes I know."
The rabbit's brow furrowed. Elmer's voice sounded clipped and curt, most unlike him. "Eh...ya alright, Doc?"
"Fine, thank you." Elmer said, sounding anything but. "I'm glad you phoned actuawwy. I shan't be coming over for dinner this evening."
"Wha-!? But Oi made ya favourite-"
"I don't cawe! You can ask Miwwicent instead!" And with that the phone was slammed down.
Bugs replaced the receiver and looked at it, dumbfounded. Then he went over to the hobs and stuff and completed the cooking, seeing as if he didn't the meal would be ruined. He then went round to Elmer's, with the hope that the half-hour it had taken him to complete the meal would be enough for the hunter to have calmed down.
"Elmer!" Bugs stood outside his door and knocked. "Elmer, open up! I want to talk to ya!" He knocked again. "ELMER!"
"Would ja keep it down, ya flea-bitten varmint!?" Sam bellowed, out his upstairs window.
Bugs turned and called up to him. "Has Millicent Rabbit been round here?"
"No!" Sam called back. "Not while av've been round here, anyhow! No stop screechin' and zip yer lip before I put a bullet through ya ears!" And with that the pirate slammed the window shut.
Bugs sighed and knocked on the door again. Still no answer. He leaned down and shouted through the letterbox. "C'mon, Doc! Oi jus' wanna talk! Ya can't believe oi actually LIKE Millicent, can ya?"
There was a pause. Then Bugs saw the figure of Elmer walking towards him at speed. He just had enough time to leap back before the door nearly hit him in the face.
"What pawt of 'I don't want to speak to you.' are you finding difficuwt to understand?" Elmer snapped.
Bugs took a breath. "Can I come in? Please?" He added, desperately, seeing Elmer's eyes narrow. "Just for a minute."
There was a pause. Then Elmer gave a small nod and opened the door. "One minute." He warned. "And then you'we out. Stawting..." He looked at his mantlepiece clock, waited a few seconds and then said. "Now."
"Are ya serious?"
"57 seconds."
"Okay, okay. Look - oi don't know what de 'ell Millicent's told ya, but oi do not like her. I 'ave never liked her-"
"-You used to boast about her cards and stuff-"
"Yeah, before I realised she was crazy!" Bugs said, making the universal crazy gesture to empathise hiss point. "All Oi know is she phoned me at ma house dis mornin'-"
"-Oh, so she has your number?"
"It's in da book, Doc! Anyone can access it! Anyway, oi swear dat's all oi know." He looked imploringly at Elmer, trying to guess what the hunter was feeling [despite the fact Elmer was famous for being 'emotional' he could also do a pretty good poker-face]."Elmer?"
"How do you expwain the cawds and the gifts?"
"She used to send 'em to me-"
"-No! I'm tawking about the ones YOU sent HER!"
"...What?"
Elmer gave him a curious look and started to explain. "I was travelling back on the train..."
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[On The Train, 2 hours ago.]
Elmer was sitting on his own next to the window, watching the world go by. He'd bagsied a table-seat and was currently trying to read a newspaper when he heard a high-pitched female voice.
"Are you Elmer Fudd?"
The hunter suppressed a sigh and looked up. He was used to being interrupted and talked to when he was trying to relax. He usually made exceptions for children or adult toons who were clearly a tad...subnormal. This toon - a big, female, blonde rabbit he recognised as Millicent Rabbit - was clearly neither. However, being the polite toon he was, he said. "That's wight. Can I hewp you?"
The bunny shifted her weight to one hip and looked at him in a manner he couldn't identify. "You're courting Bugs Bunny, aren't you?"
"We'we seeing how it goes." Elmer said, guardedly. "Why?"
Clearly taking that as some sort of cue the bunny plonked herself into the seat opposite and crooned. "Going well, is it? The relationship?"
Elmer - feeling uneasy - snapped. "I don't have time for insane wittering, eithew get to the point or go away."
In response the bunny reached into her handbag and pulled out some letters and a few candles, as well as a two boxes of chocolates and about five bouquets of flowers.
"I hardwy think this is the place for a candwewit dinner." The hunter said, rolling his eyes.
"These are gifts your boyfriend-" She sneered the word. "-has sent me." She gave him a wide smile. "We were dating, you know."
"Don't be widiculous!" Elmer said, sharply. "You sent him gifts and he towd you to get wost!"
"Oh, yeah?" Millicent waved a letter in the air.
The human-toon reached forward and snatched the letter of off her. It had a heart on it and Bugs's signature. Elmer looked at it in horror, his heart tightening. The colour fled from his face as he looked at the gifts on the table. He had received similar gifts from Bugs in the past. Well. More the flowers, not the candles...there were so many of them...
He looked up to see Millicent smiling at him, confidently. Elmer got up and left.
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[Back in Elmer's house]
"I can't weally wemembew what I did after that." Elmer admitted. "I went to a diffewent cawwiage. She didn't fowwow me, which I was happy about. When I got back to Looney Tune Town Centre I wandewed wound in a daze for a bit and then came back here."
"Well, she clearly wrote dat letter herself an' put my signature on it!" Bugs said, angrily.
"Why wou-?"
"-Cos she's crazy! Insane! Mad! She's a-" Bugs held up a picture of a screw and a baseball. "Dat's why!"
Elmer looked at him and sighed deeply. There was a long silence while he processed the information he'd just been given. "...It does make sense." He admitted. Another pause while Bugs waited for the verdict. After about another thirty seconds Elmer nodded. "Okay. I believe you. Mainly because she had about five bunches of flowers, the oldest of which was about a week old. And I know that you don't send fwowers that often."
Bugs - despite the circumstances - was impressed. Elmer noticed a lot more than people gave him credit for.
The hunter sighed. "I suppose whatevew dinner you were pwanning is wuined." He said, despondently.
Bugs gave a smile. "Actually...ya say dat..."