Trigger Warning
Barry didn't know how long he'd been standing there. He thought maybe someone would try to help, like he would, like the flash would. But no one did.
He knew then that he didn't really want to die, he just didn't know how to tell someone how he was feeling. He didn't know what to do.
He felt tears roll down his face as he sat down, letting his feel dangle over the edge. He took his phone out, he wasn't sure if he was taking it out to say goodbye.
Or to get help.
He clicked Oliver's name. His finger hovered over the call button, not sure if he should or not. Though he soon pressed it.
He picked up quick, a lot faster than he thought he would.
"Hey Barry, you okay?"
"I..uhh..I don't know."
"Where are you?" He asked, Barry head him stand up out his bed, he heard the panic in his voice.
"Who is it?" He heard Felicity ask.
"It's Barry. Barry where are you? I'll come get you."
Barry paused, he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell him. He wasn't sure if he wanted help, but soon told him where he was.
"O..okay. Jus..just stay there. Please?"
"Okay," there was no emotion in Barry's voice, which only worried Oliver more.
Barry heard Oliver's bike before he saw it. Though he soon stopped below him, he watched Oliver take helmet off before looking up and around all the rooftops before seeing him.
Barry knew him walking away was just him trying to find a way for him to climb up. Which Barry soon found out he found.
"Hey Barry."
Barry looked next to him and saw Oliver sit down next to him. Keeping his legs on the opposite side to Barry.
"How about we go get big belly burger or something?"
"Okay," Barry sighed, but he didn't move.
He sat there, looking down past his feet. He knew he made the right decision, but he couldn't help thinking maybe he didn't.
Oliver stood up and put a hand on Barry shoulder. "Come on," he said softly, Barry had never heard him speak like that before.
While Barry stood up he knew Oliver was watching carefully, he looked down to the ground once more. Causing Oliver to take his hand.
He gave him a smile. Comforting, though still sad.
Barry stepped down next to Oliver causing him to pull him into his arms. Barry slowly wrapped his arms around him.
"Thought you didn't like hugs," Barry said quietly, causing Oliver to laugh slightly.
"Just wasn't the right time last time."
Barry pulled away, he knew it had nothing to do with it not being the right time. But he didn't say anything. He followed Oliver off the building and reluctantly got on the back of his bike.
Oliver tried to get Barry to eat more than just fries, though soon dropped it when he noticed how uncomfortable he was. Barry found a table while Oliver finished paying.
Which didn't take long. Oliver sat down in front of him about a minute later.
"So there isn't really space in our hotel room, doesn't seem right having you sleep on the couch either. So I was thinking I could maybe stay at yours?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm not leaving you alone tonight Barry."
"I've already taken you away from John and Felicity long enough. I'll be fine."
"What happened Barry? You weren't great earlier, I know that but I know it wasn't this bad."
"You can't tell Joe.. or Singh or anyone."
"You understand how bad that sounds right? But I won't tell them, promise."
"I don't know if you know but Leonard Snart broke out of prison last night. I uhh..Me and Cisco were tracking his gun, we found it. I found him. And I let him get away when the police came."
"Sounds likes you like him," he said with a small smile.
"He also kissed me."
Oliver didn't say anything, his smile just got bigger.
"But then he left. And I felt..numb. Wells was the one who called the cops, he said I shouldn't be out there, he said the man I couldn't save a few weeks ago was my fault."
"I never heard about that. But Barry that's not your fault. You can't save everyone."
"I could've saved him. He was standing where I was, when he lent over I froze. I was scared that what happened last time would happen again."
"What happened last time?"
"I couldn't save him either. He was a meta, he could clone himself, he was trying to kill his old boss. He didn't, he threw himself out a window, I caught his hand but a clone hand pulled my hand off him."
"I'm sorry Barry, I really am."
"Wells didn't blame me that time. He just said, 'some people, when they break, they can't be put together again,' sometimes I think, maybe I can't be put together again."
"I think you can. Just not alone."
"I don't..I don't want to be here anymore," Barry said while leaning back as tears formed in his eyes.
"I think part of you does. Or you wouldn't have called me, you wouldn't have come here with me. Barry if you really don't want me to stay away from John and Felicity I'll have to call Joe."
"I thought you would tell him anyway."
The same man as the other day walked over to their table and placed a tray of food down. Barry just looked out the window, Oliver said, "thank you," this time.
Oliver put Barry's fries in front of him and put his own food in front of himself. He pushed the tray to the side as Barry looked back.
"Even if I stay with you I'll be telling Joe, he needs to know. I'm not here for much longer someone needs to know so you can get the help you need."
"Okay," he said with no emotion in his voice again. Which made Oliver sigh. "I think I want to stay with Joe."
"That's okay, you want to start eating and I'll go call him?"
Barry nodded as Oliver took his phone out his coat pocket which he'd left on the seat next to him. He watched as he stood up and walked out the door while typing on his phone.
Barry slowly ate a fry as Oliver stood outside between the door and the window Barry was next to. He knew he could leave if he wanted to without Oliver knowing. But he didn't want to worry him. He also didn't really want to leave.
He soon heard the door open again and watched Oliver sit down in front of him again.
"Joe's still at work but he's gonna talk to Singh and see if he can leave early. He'll text when he's on his way," he said causing Barry to just nod again.
"What did you say?"
"I just told him you called about half an hour ago, where you were when I picked you up. Where we are now and just a little bit of what you said now."
"You promised you wouldn't," Barry said, panicking slightly he didn't want Joe to know.
"I didn't say anything about Snart. Just the part where you said you don't think you can be put together again, that you don't want to be here."
"Okay."
"I just want you to be okay Barry. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to help."
"You can't, no one can."
Oliver just nodded slowly as he sighed quietly.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes while they ate. Though Barry just picked at his food, not eating it but picking one up then dropping it. Only to pick up another one and do it all over again.
The silence was broken by Oliver's phone vibrating on the table. Barry looked up from his fries to see Oliver wipe his hands on a napkin before picking up his phone.
"It's Joe. He's on his way," Oliver said as Barry stood up. "Where're you going?"
"To get water."
Barry walked up to the counter and waited as the man walked out from the back.
"What can I get you you?" He asked with a smile. Though all Barry could notice was the rainbow pin next to his name badge, James. "Hey..?"
"Sorry," Barry said giving him an awkward smile. "Can I uhh..just get..water please."
"Yeah. That's a dollar."
Barry handed over the money, James put it away before turning around. He didn't know what he was doing but soon walked over to where the bottled water was and picked one up.
He handed over the water and a piece of paper after. "Call me sometime," he said quietly a smile.
"Okay," he said returning the smile before awkwardly walking away.
"What're you smiling about?" Oliver said, also smiling, as Barry sat down.
"Nothing," Barry said trying to hide the fact he was still blushing.
"Has it got something to do with the paper in your hand?"
"Maybe," Barry sighed as he put the paper in his pocket and opened his bottle of water. "I'm probably not gonna call him."
"Why not?"
"Snart," Barry said quietly, knowing Oliver didn't really like him.
"I think he's using you Barry," Oliver said with a quiet sigh.
"I know he probably is Oliver. But..he's the first guy I've liked that's not hated me for liking him. Not beat the crap out of me for it."
"That's why you didn't tell anyone you were gay?"
"The first guy I liked found out, I don't know how, but when he did that's when he beat the crap out of me. Iris knew the truth but we told Joe that it was just something about my dad."
"If that happened now. That guy wouldn't be breathing, I'd make sure."
"If that happened not he wouldn't have the chance to touch me."
"True," Oliver said before looking outside, wondering how long Joe would be. "I think you should call him, give him a chance. Might be good for you."
"Maybe. I don't know he's probably better off without me."
"I don't think that's true. My life is better with you in it and I know I'm not the only one Barry."
Barry didn't say anything, though he didn't believe Oliver. He knew all that mattered to people was the flash.
"There's Joe," Oliver said as a car parked outside, in a no park zone, Joe got out the car. He looked worried. "You gonna be alright?"
"Yeah. Probably."
"Just talk to someone if you feel bad again. Me or Joe. Or Iris. Someone at team flash. Even Felicity or John. You have a lot of people you can go to, you're not alone Barry."
"Thank you," he said with an awkward smile as Joe walked in.
"Barr, you okay?" Joe asked as he walked up to the table.
"Yeah, I'm fine Joe you don't have to worry."
Barry knew the look on his face, the 'of course I'm gonna worry' look that he's had from him a lot.
"You want to finish your fries before we go?"
"I'm not really hungry," Barry said seeing the look on Joe's as he looked at his barely touch food.
"Alright, you ready to go?"
"Can I just say bye to Oliver?"
"I'm gonna be leaving same time so I can walk him to your car," Oliver told Joe, who looked at Barry then back to Oliver giving him a small smile.
"Alright thanks," he said as he began to turn around but stopped. "Thank you for..for calling me."
"Of course," Oliver said giving him a smile as he walked out the door.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be."
"You should've been with John and Felicity sleeping right now, but I made you come talk to me."
"You didn't make me Barry, I came because you were in trouble because you needed someone tonight. You don't need to apologize for that."
"Okay."
"You sure you don't want to finish your fries? You didn't have anything for lunch either."
"I could've had something after you left."
"The way you said it means you didn't though," he said giving him a small worried smile.
"I'm just not hungry, Oliver."
"Okay. You want to talk about anything else?"
Barry shook his head, "I'm ready to go."
"Alright come on then."
Barry stood up after Oliver and walked behind him, he wasn't sure if he was glad he called him. Though he was glad Joe wasn't disappointed.
Joe was sitting in his car waiting, Barry looked to Oliver, about to say bye but was pulled into another hug.
"What is it with you and hugs today?" Barry asked as he hugged him back.
Oliver stayed quiet for about a minute before pulling away. "I'm just glad you're alright Barry."
Barry just gave him a fake smile. He didn't know what to think of that, which was obvious to Oliver.
"Please try not to hurt yourself," Oliver said before walking across the road to his bike.
Barry nodded his head once he looked back, he saw the smile on his face before he put his helmet on. He got into the passenger seat as Oliver got into his bike.
The drive home was quiet, not uncomfortable though.
Joe offered to make something for dinner, Barry said no, that he was just tired. Which was true.
He walked up to his old bedroom that Joe still hadn't turned into the home gym he always said he would. He got changed into a spare pair of pyjamas before getting into bed.