A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters
This fic is posted on ao3 as part of the secret dating triad fest. I can now post it here for everyone to see!
Word Count: 1773
Twirling, twirling, falling, falling
as the world spins out of control.
Everything has changed, everything has fallen apart.
One little twist, one little turn and round and round
it all goes. The sands slide
marking the passage, marking the time.
A desperate move by a desperate girl.
All dead, all gone, she'd left, she's left to grieve,
to cry as she remembers happier days
happier times where she thought, hoped, that it would
all work out in the end.
Suddenly nothing is right, nothing is how it should have been.
All those dreams of the future, of being safe and free
are gone, dust in the wind.
She won't back down. She won't give up.
She's been called stubborn before and like then,
now she has something that could be considered a plan.
A half baked plan is better than nothing as she
breaks and enters, as she slips past the guards,
past the world that is too watching the rest of the world
die. A world in silence, a world in stunned shock.
One twist, one turn and she's going back back back.
She doesn't know how, doesn't know if she can do it,
if she can save him, change it all, save it all.
She's willing to try anything now.
The world falls away and she's falling falling through time.
A blink, a minute, second, all meaningless as the hourglass
cracks and everything is lost.
Falling, falling, she lands hard. Her head nearly breaking from impact.
Red blood on her hands, red blood matching her hair as she shakingly stands.
Red, red, red, for a moment it's all she sees. An omen of what could be,
of what she's trying to salvage.
The world spins around her.
Side effects of time travel, dizziness, confusion, her memories murky.
Her memories displaced as she stands, staring, her eyes still full of tears.
Did it work? Something went wrong, she remembers that much.
Something broke, she remembers shards of broken glass
remembers the sands falling, cascading around her.
How far? How far did she go? Had she made it?
Stepping out into to the world, blinding, too loud. Her head throbs.
She knows she hit it, knows she hurt it. The pounding becoming too much.
She's on her knees, head in hands, trying to make the world stop.
It does for a moment as everything goes black.
Waking up, lost, confused. She's gone too far. She's only just now learning that.
There's no going back. She knew there was a chance,
knew this could be a one way trip.
She hadn't prepared for the consequences, hadn't prepared
for the fact she has to learn to live here, in this new now.
Familiar faces are different now as she's ushered back to the castle,
back to a home that no longer feels like home.
Everything she remembers has to be put aside.
She needs to forget the past, her past, forget but still..
She came here to change things, to save everyone.
Is that even still possible?
Any little thing she does will alter the time line
alter everything she once knew.
A new name, a new time, a new everything and suddenly she's
thrust into a love mess.
Remus loves Sirius.
Sirius loves Remus.
Remus won't come out and admit they're together.
He's afraid his mum won't understand.
She hasn't met Remus' mum, but knows some people
wouldn't accept Remus and Sirius as they are.
She isn't one of them. She watches them, sees the way they look at each other
when no one is watching. The small smiles.
The fingertips touching as they pass in the hallways.
A secret love that isn't secret to those close to them,
just secret to the world.
She wonders if they can keep it that way,
if the pressure will break them apart.
Word comes, Remus' mum is sick.
Remus is in tears, knowing all she ever wanted was for him
to find a girl that accepted him for who, and what, he was.
In a moment of desperation, of wanting his mum to be happy,
Remus lies, saying he's found a girl.
She doesn't like lying, playing the part to keep a secret that haunts the two boys she's come to care about, but Remus is desperate, worried, scared.
She agrees, one condition.
Remus must tell the truth if his mum lives.
She knows telling lies is wrong, a shadow of a memory flickers on her mind.
I must not tell lies.
It meant something, something, to someone?
And like that it's gone again.
Sirius and Remus snogging in the hallway.
A sting of jealously that she doesn't want to admit.
Does she want Sirius to be kissing her?
She's seen the way he looks at Remus, how much he adores him.
There was that one kiss, that one night were things got a little chaotic,
the one kiss that changed everything and threatened to destroy
everything.
She was crying,wishing she could go home, where ever, when ever
that was. Sirius was there, a shoulder to cry on, a friend.
She messed that up royally, planting her lips on his.
She wasn't thinking clearly, wasn't thinking at all, but her body wanted
comfort, wanted to feel him, to feel something, to feel she wasn't alone.
The one kiss set a whole world of problems in motion.
Sirius had kissed back, and she'd felt her entire body catch fire.
They had broken apart, the passion burning in both their eyes.
It couldn't happen again, he'd stated.
He loved Remus!
Eventually he would announce that fact to the world.
Eventually everyone would know about them.
She understood, she loved Remus too.
He was sweet, someone to talk to,
to bounce her ideas off of, someone who understood
there were things she just couldn't, wouldn't, talk about.
He never pressed her, never asked her to explain.
Remus' mum pulled through, but he couldn't tell her the truth,
not yet.
I will, he promised. A promise she believed.
A promise she knew he would keep, in his own time.
She was his friend, someone he could talk to, someone
who never pressured, who never judged.
She loved him in the same way he loved Sirius,
the same way she loved Sirius after that first kiss.
The second kiss had happened over the Christmas holidays.
She'd gone home with Remus, pretending
pretending she was his, that she hadn't kissed his love.
She'd gotten his mum a gift, a sweater she'd seen
in a shop. It was perfect. Remus had ended up kissing her
in front of the tree, a kiss so soft, so delicate
so opposite the one she'd shared with Sirius.
Her heart had pounded just as hard.
She'd returned this kiss, returned the warm feeling
she felt in her heart. Now she was torn.
Passion with Sirius, who could never love her the way he did Remus.
But she'd seen him looking at her after their kiss.
Little looks, little smiles that vanished when she looked back.
Now her heart carried two secrets.
One kiss with Sirius
One kiss with Remus
and her heart wanted both.
She knew neither would ever leave the other.
Knew how much they loved one another.
The first night back, whispered words in the boys' dorm.
Remus and Sirius, talking about the holidays.
Who did what.
What James did to try and impress Lily.
Soon, she heard another name thrown mix.
Her new chosen nickname thrown around.
I kissed Red. - Sirius
I kissed Red! -Remus
Her heart pounded at their confessions.
Would they hate her for this, for coming between them?
Her heart is soaring as they both laugh,
her heart souring as they fall silent.
She can feel tears pricking the corners of her brown eyes.
What if they hate her?
What if they don't want to be friends anymore?
She hadn't meant to do it, to kiss Sirius.
Remus kissed her though!
Her head is spinning as she holds her breath.
She's in the common room pretending not to listen.
She can hear them talking again.
This time in hushed whispers
she can't understand.
Part of her wants to burst down the door,
confess everything she's feeling.
She loves them both, is that even possible.
They're dating, they're together, not that the world
knows. Not that Remus is ready to admit.
Finally the door opens and she's already flipping
backwards onto the sofa.
She doesn't want them to know she was listening.
She misses, landing on her behind on the floor, looking up
into a pair of grey eyes, a pair of hazel eyes.
Both looking at her with concern.
Sirius reaches down, pulling her to her feet and into
a tight hug.
Remus wraps an arm around the both of them.
For a moment, wrapped in their arms, she's whole.
Never mind she's lost her world,
never mind she's lost her past,
there's a whole new future set out before her,
as each boy kisses her cheek and her heart pounds
sandwiched between them.
Remus writes home that night, telling his mum the truth about
him and Sirius, and him and her.
She knows she'll accept the truth,
Remus has always been worried about nothing.
And when the morning arrives, an owl waits for him,
inviting all three of them to tea.
Sirius tells his parents, both that he's in love with Remus
and some random girl that fell from the sky.
They disown him and Remus laughs
as James makes him an honorary Potter.
She doesn't care about Sirius' surname,
doesn't care about his family. They don't matter.
The three of them are all that matters.
Now the three of them no longer
keep their kisses to the shadows.
Remus and Sirius walk holding hands
in the Great Hall.
The three of them plot and conspire and snuggle and kiss
by the fireplace in the common room.
Now the three of them have become a
force to be reckoned with now that Sirius isn't hiding his love for Remus
and Red
now that Red isn't hiding the fact she's kissed Sirius.
Now the only secret they keep is Remus' furry little problem.
The three of them are something more than she'd ever dreamed.
Something so strong that she feels the bonds will never break.
Sirius the black sheep of his family.
Remus the werewolf with a heart of gold,
and Red, the girl misplaced in time trying to save the world.
A world that no longer exists as she falls in love with
her boys more and more each day.
Her past no more than a distorted distance memory.