SPOV
Friday came before I knew it and it was time to get supplies for our Washington moving in party we were holding tonight. The turn out was expected to be big, roughly a few hundred. I had spread word to everyone back home in CA and told them of my plans and everyone I asked said yes, come to think of it no one had actually said no. I guess I was a class A party girl, my reputation for a wild night strong – something my dad, Ray, had disapproved of all through high school, less though college when I moved out of home, only getting involved when the police thought it was necessary. From asking my former college friends with open invitations, they passed on the word and everyone was more than happy to make the journey because let's be real- money was no object to a good time to them. From there I also had a few friends from the East Coast who were down coming up West for the weekend, bringing the guest list to roughly two hundred. Kate and Sean had also made a few mutual friends from our Wednesday night out and also from the spa. Dad's house was a mansion, making more than enough space and meant it was possible for a few people to stay over for the night, or morning. Anastasia Steele parties normally ended around six am or late enough for the sun to rise again. This was of course done from the few drugs I dabbled in. I had to find a new dealer out here- I had several people supplying tonight but I knew I would need someone regular to keep my secret habit going.
Sean was the only one who really understood why I did what I did- needing something to temporarily bring the feeling of euphoria in a time of darkness- when my brain began to question why my relationship with my mother was so fucked up, why she couldn't care, and the fact and she cared so little she couldn't even pretend. She did not show up my college graduation, her excuse being that her new boy toy Bob, a guy who had around five years on me had sprained his ankle running in a friendly game of baseball and that she had to look after him. It sent me in a tailspin, affecting me more than I wanted to realise and as soon as my family left for the night, I had dragged Sean out for the night, a club crawl, snorting MDMA in every bathroom. I took a total of five hits and some would say it was a miracle to alive today. I just felt numb, still grateful that my dad and Ally were there but simply could not ignore the empty marring hole that was my mother's absence.
We were practically twins and had been told that all my life, down to our long legs, milky skin and brunette hair but our eyes were different. Mine were round and compassionate and blue and was the only physical feature that correlated me to Ray Steele, Carla's being bright hazel. We looked like sisters together. I remember a summer not long ago, we were out at lunch together when we both got catcalled. She continued their advancements and made plans, introducing me to them as her sister, obviously ashamed to admit she was old enough to have a seventeen year old daughter. She left me home alone that night and it was then that started my addiction- no I wouldn't use that word, habit. Me, alone in a house a city away from home, out of boredom curiously exploring her bedroom draws and finding multiple small bags filled with white pills labelled 'X'. I took the bag and drove home from Sacramento to LA and with Sean being the only one available by the time I arrived we took them in the back of the car. Long story short it was one of the best nights of life and some would say the worse, but who am I to give a fuck about their opinions. From there our relationship had been strained and now pretty much non existent, strangers no less I had her on Facebook, but it wasn't really my thing and I never had the urge to stalk her page, so she remained a person in my past yet someone who always fucked my future. It wasn't all her fault, but she was the reason it had started, and I saw no point in stopping, accepting doses in moderation for the sake of Halle and Ray, knowing they didn't need the unnecessary hurt from my stupid decisions. I only used when I feeling low, which I was happy to say not often but what really was happiness to me? I was just so lost and the strength to put of a façade faded away every day.
I had some errands to get out the way, signing up to a doctor's office and dentist, scoping out drug stores and the closest liquor store. I had also found Doctor Flynn's office, only for the sake of my dad. I had yet to make an appointment, unsure on what he actually wanted to speak to me about, how actually this stranger was meant to help me. My eating habits had improved, averaging at least two meals a day. My weight wasn't looking concerning but I was still on the leaner side, but I preferred myself this way. Between the three of us we had around a couple thousand to blow for tonight. We knew some people would bring their own bottles, food was to just be a large order of pizza to come around roughly at eleven pm, just in time to sober everyone up for the new round. There was a snooker table, a games room and a pool but I was making my dads in home studio off limits. Also, my Ray and Ally's bedroom, along with Halle – not needing strangers fucking in their bed.
I also needed an outfit. Seattle being in a heatwave, Sean was simply rocking a pair of jeans, knowing that Jose his ex was supposedly coming. I just wanted him happy, but I did not think Jose was the guy for him. I was more drawn to a short skirt and cropped vest option and Katie was leaning towards a dress. Elliot the blonde back from the bar in Cali was coming and apparently, they had been texting back and forth. She had never seen Kavanagh be so hung up on a guy before, maybe it was because he was older? She had this misty loved up look whenever she spoke about him and she was going to be on her best behaviour before he came. I knew Bryce was coming tonight- it would be good to see him, but I wasn't sure anything would be happening tonight. My mind was still hung up on that copper haired man. I refused to call him by name, instead choosing to just describe him knowing that it was unlikely that I would ever see him again. I refused to invest myself- I just simply couldn't and what if he didn't want anything more from it? Rejection was something I didn't want to repeat, couldn't handle couldn't bear and god knows what would happen if it happened.
The party is in full swing now, the lights varying from blue to red the music blaring, Jhene Aiko revealing that she needs some late night loving. I held a bottle of tequila in my hands and walked around the living , touting people to take shot. I pushed their heads back with my signature smiled and fluttered my blues and poured in the liquid . They cursed and gasped after, it burning down their throat while the shook their heads for some sort of relief. I was drunk, out of my mind. How did I know – everything was blurring into one and my words were slurred but this only meant the fun was starting to begin. People just acted instead of thinking meaning anything was possible . the whole grounds were covered with people; the pool, garden, front yard. Every time I saw a college friend I took and shot and ten people in, Kate left me when Elliot came. They were practically glued together, making out on the couch. People around them whistles and joked on getting a room but it then triggered others to follow suit and find someone to kiss, I guess the drinks taking over. Elliot mentioned that his brother may be dropping by, but he was running late to a last minute emergency at work. Bored I made my way to the kitchen where I found me old dealer, Tyler. He recognised me first and broke off his conversation with some people that looked familiar to me but I just couldn't put my name to it
'STEELLEE ' he exclaimed , engulfing me , his breath stinking with beer and weed 'awesome house you have here. LA isn't the same without you'
'yeah I know, just trying something different ' I replied , taking a sip out of his corona 'I'm gonna be here for a couple of months, who knows I might be back ' I grinned back. It was true, maybe I would move back to Cali and start from the beginning if Seattle didn't work out, maybe New York . I wondered where I would eventually settle in, would it even be in America. I wasn't totally opposed to somewhere like Europe but I was a long way from that type of drastic decision – I wanted to gain some sort of stable control on my life where I wasn't dependent of substances but just high on life. But for now that's just how things were for me so I asked
'got anything molly on you'
'for you darling of course' and with that he fished into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag with a crushed white powder.
I took the bag and kissed the corner of his mouth in thanks and searched for a surface. Pouring three powder onto the breakfast bar and grabbing a blunt knife, I made a line. tucking my hair into both ears, I reached down and snorted, brushing the excess off my nose, around my face and the counter. Holding my head up again I grabbed another beer out of the cooler and moved my hips to the beat, following Sean's cheers outside to the garden. There was a beer pong set up as the main bar Kate made was in the garden under a seat of ice keeping everything cool in the heat. It was now nearing one am and due to the being near water, it was humid so most of the party had now made its way outside, lounging on the grass, some people stripped to their underwear in the pool. I found Sean as was he bouncing a ping pong ball and when I called him he smiled, and made me join for a round. I took the ball and bounced, it landing into a cup. I laughed for myself and put the cup to my lips but just as I was closing my eyes, I saw a pair of eyes. Grey eyes and unruly copper hair across the pool standing with Kate's blonde getting a drink. He didn't see me and to that I downed the drink and took another two, knocking them back. The people around me booed and I apologised ,quickly leaving to replaced them.
I was freaking out; he was guy from Wednesday. I thought hard trying to think of name and when it did, I shouted Christian out. Thanks to the pounding music no one heard me. C'mon Stass I told myself and slapping my face twice on both cheeks- he doesn't know it's you, he thinks your Stella. I joined the Sean again. Like a pussy I avoided Kate's eye when I saw she was trying to get my attention, probably to introduce me to the handsome gentlemen, beelining over to us in tow with two men. I grabbed a hand and tugged them in front of me and ran away to be met with a group of my old cheer friends
'Stasi, I've been looking over everywhere for you' Maddy spoke. She and I went way back and was in cheer together, she would practice routines with and Halle back in high school and I remembered she had a massive crush on Leo my older brother whenever she would come down and visit.
'I've been here where have you been 'I replied back.
We hugged and I met the rest of the team reminiscing over old times and before I knew it, people were clearing a pathway and chanting my name. Why was I doing this, I had no clue, but all fucks were gone out the window. This was my problem, I never stepped down from a challenge. I walked to one edge of the garden and shrugged my shoes off. I put my left leg slightly forward and raised my arms above my head and flung myself forward, completing five cartwheels before I started to feel sick. I was meant with a shot , taking it back without a missed beat and screamed into the music. From where I was I saw Kate again, still surrounded with the two men. Why was I being such a pussy? I just simply couldn't deal with the confrontation- if I could I would of hopped back into bed and left in the morning. I hated that I couldn't get Katie by her own and explain this was the guy from Wednesday but they stayed stuck together.
Another hour passed and I had become sober and got drunk again , sitting on the grass with my college people, playing truth or dare. Thankfully I hadn't seen Christian but I still continued to drink that in the possibility I did I could play off that I didn't know he was. A bunch of us was in a circle when and started on Maddy
'truth or dare' someone called
'truth'
'did you sleep with Hannah's boyfriend Jeremy behind the bleachers on the football'
She spluttered her drink , confirming her answer but it wasn't until she realised everyone was staring at her did she speak up
'yes, but it wasn't behind the bleachers it was on the fifty yard line at night , first day of senior year'.
I laughed at this and the rest of our high school friends joined in, the others smirking and wanting to continue the game
'Sean, your up next'. I knew this was going to be interesting, he was an over-sharer when he sober , even worse when he was drunk
'truth or dare'
'ummm dare'
'ok I dare you to strip and send a dick pic to one of your ex's telling them you miss AND we get to decide who'
'pick a random number from one to thirty'- I scoffed, that was no where near his number, actually I guess maybe if were not counting having sex being an ex
'twelve' he choose and whipped out his penis. Some men groaned while some of the ladies purred and he took this picture and returned the phone to the group, sending it to the chosen person. For a second there he looked concerned and only after his phone was returned to him he looked relived. I stared at him until he met my face and I shot him a look to which he shrugged. Bothered I cocked my head and he finally caved, signalling later with his hands. With this I moved on and by the time I had turned my concentration back to the game, a girl had already gone – being told to do a three-way kiss with two other guys for at least twenty seconds. The next guy ended up sucking a toe and then someone called on me
'Stasi your next' . majority of the group wolf whistled knowing that I would be doing something crazy in the next three minutes
'truth or dare'
'dare' I was feeling wide and really wasn't feeling like opening up tonight
'I dare you to climb on top of the boathouse and jump into the pool'
My eyes went wide and my mouth was hung open. The pool in question was large and the deep end was closest to the boathouse. Needing some liquid courage, I straight from the bottle had a wig of vodka and stood up and made . I heard some people cheer from me and this encouraged me , starting to run to get this over with. I was a natural when it came to climbing, it was essential for running away from people like the police or an angry stranger and luckily to me the boathouse was only two stories high. When I made it the top I saw the group starting and looking for me. They had cleared the pool for me but before I jumped I felt the need to say a few words
'ATTENTION EVERYONE' I shouted and continued once everyone was focused on me
'for anyone who doesn't know me , my name in Stasi and I just wanted to say thank you for coming tonight and making the journey from wherever you came from. Me , Seanny and Katie are going to be in Washington for the summer so call and you will be most welcome here' to that everyone cheered and that bought a smile to me. 'now let's toast to the summer ahead of us and I hope you guys have a great rest of the night.'
Without announcement I jumped into the pool and the screams and cheers became muted as I leaped and my contact with the water. I swam ,still underneath and the surface and only emerged at the bottom when the water became shallower. My clothes stuck to me, my nipples showing through and my hair was dripping creating a trail behind me. My bangs were stuck in my eyes and swept them out the way, trying to adjust my eyes from the chlorine and looking for a towel, the midnight breeze catching up to me. Sean ran up and wrapped me like a burrito , laughing at me and then kissed my head
'oh baby girl, your crazy. Lets get you changed'
CPOV
Elliot had got back to me saying the party was starting around nine and he was getting there for eleven and would meet me wherever to make the journey. It being the weekend I gave Taylor the day off – he normally got the weekends off his daughter Sophie was coming in town. I was swamped at work the Chinese being difficult, changing their minds last minute of the deal that took months to be made. I was half tempted to just pull the plug, but their technology would put me at least five years ahead of my plans for future developments for sustainable agriculture. I didn't leave the office until midnight and was considering just calling it might but ended up persuading myself a drink or two couldn't hurt, maybe something leading to more. I hailed a cab and before I knew it was outside, if I got too drunk Bellevue wasn't too far away, it would be easy to slip into my old bedroom without them knowing. The information Elliot had given me had become redundant as it was the only house that has music blaring and various people making out made it fairly obvious.
I called Elliot and he met me at the front door, in tow with a blonde. He had his arm around him , a beer in his other and slurred me name, slapping me on the shoulder
'Bro this is Kate, Kate this is my younger brother – Christian ' he introduced.
I nodded my head in response and she smiled. I didn't bother to become attached, knowing Elliot he would be on to the next in a couple of hours.
'this is my friend Stasi's house, we've moved in here for the month and then we're moving to Seattle – this is our Washington moving in party' she explained 'we also moved with our friend Sean, he's a bit whore but we love him, warning he will flirt with you but that's just him' she shrugged as we made our way to the garden where the drinks were. Kate tried to find her friend and spotted her for second but lost her in the crowd. I settled with them and made small talk with some people, my five beers encouraging my social skills. I had learnt that most of these people came from Cali and had made the journey for the party quoting 'no one turns down a party Stasi throws'. I was intrigued and wanted to meet said Stasi but I guess she was busy entertaining her guests that I never got to actually meet her . I did though hear several chants of her name and then a silhouette of a hammered girl making a speech on top of the boathouse, thanking everyone for coming . she then proceeded to jump into the pool and everyone gathered, making it impossible to see her.
Several people made several advances at me and it was tempting throughout the night, the idea of them not knowing me as big shot CEO as they were not from town and only visiting for the weekend. He could but he still felt raw and confused from Stella, still in the mindfuck of if casual fucking was what he wanted and if the feelings he felt afterwards was worth it . He was still angry that he was hung up on this random girl, I wasn't like this with his submissive. Maybe it was that he had no control of It and even if he didn't want to with Stella, the thought not of having the power to categorise the status of the relationship just left him uneasy. She was a mystery and Welch had come up with no information, stretching as far to the bar asking if she left any form of legal document but she had paid in cash, no credit cards. This left him nothing he could trace, and he didn't remember her with a phone .
Elliot and Kate soon became unbearable, and I got the message loud and clear that I was time to go, my social battery running dangerously low, so I called a Uber home back to the city wanting to wake up in my own bed and not surrounded my hungover strangers. I hadn't really had time to spend with him but we were on for a late brunch tomorrow so we would catch up then and to that I went to bed, swallowing an Advil and tucking myself into the sheet praying for a sleepless night.
Jhene Aiko song is On my way . I have also started a Pinterest page and will be updating it between chapters- it is linked in my profile and take you directly there
Next chapter will be Stasi and Christian meeting each other officially as themselves. I did originally plan for them to meet in this chapter but I have come up with another way of them to meet, much more dramatic and them both being sober so reactions will be more real and dramatic
Sean is their bisexual best friend- is close to both but can relate to Stasi more and he will be having some pov's in the future describing Elliot and Kate and Stasi and Christian from a third perspective. He will not be leaving anytime soon, has NEVER had a sexual encounter with Stas which is why their relationship is so strong/been going for 10 years plus. I wanted her to have a boy best friend- something that Christian would be jealous of /learn to live with and also in the future accept as his own