Chapter 6 – The Power of Three
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Eventually, the three of them stumbled to the bedroom.
It probably wasn't proper, considering dwarven courtship rules or whatever, but Doug didn't seem to care and neither did Harry and Audrey. Doug and Audrey worked together to strip Harry of his clothes, the pirate whining under their combined attention before Doug was darting forward, silencing his concerns with hot kisses.
Audrey knew Harry was worried, could feel the residual tension as he and Doug made out, so while they were distracted trading kisses, she snuck a hand into the back of Harry's underwear, curling her fingers around the head of the mushroom.
It came out with zero resistance, Harry gasping all the while until he started pawing at Doug's clothes, likely wanting to distract him. Audrey shoved the mushroom in her nightstand and smiled, because even if it wasn't her, at least Harry was free, free and eagerly twitching, ready for Doug as they stripped down together.
"Audrey," Doug gasped when they were naked and she was down to her lingerie. "I- I'm so sorry, I- please-"
"I know it won't happen again," Audrey said, because Doug had proved that much. "And, if you mean it-"
"I mean it," Doug said, eyes shining with moisture. "Every word. You two – you're mine."
Harry and Audrey shuddered – so maybe both of them had a thing for declarations of loyalty, of ownership.
"I want you two," Audrey said instead of 'I missed you'. "But I'm rough, Doug. I'm not just smart-"
"I know." Doug grinned, a thing that was stupidly full of happiness. "I've always known. You don't have to fight that part of yourself."
"I'm also calculating."
"He fucking knows," Harry groaned, because they were busy teasing him between them, until Harry was slumped against Audrey's chest while she worked a hand between his cheeks, keeping him stretched out while Doug was content to nip and lick at every part of his neck, his hand gladly wrapped around Harry's flushed length. "Now please-"
"Of course, darling," Audrey said, curling three fingers deep and watching him shudder. "Doug, sweetheart, could you fill him up, please? He's ready for you."
"Um- what?" Doug flushed, likely not expecting the news, but Audrey was already turning Harry to face her, getting him on his hands and knees so he could be ready for Doug.
"Right here," Audrey urged, pulling Harry's cheek aside to show off his wet hole. "He wants you."
"Please," Harry groaned, head ducked in embarrassment. "Please, could ye-?"
"I've got you," Doug rushed to assure, kissing down Harry's spine. "I've got you, okay? I'll always have you."
He accepted the lube and condom when Audrey passed it over, tore into it with an eagerness that made Harry shiver, his mouth falling open when Doug angled himself between his cheeks, the dwarf prince slowly urging himself into Harry's heat.
"Fuck," Audrey groaned, one hand urged between her panties so she could rub at the dumb flower. She wanted more than its wet tongue. She wanted to enjoy herself with her boys, she wanted to celebrate with them without having to hide parts of herself, she wanted-
She cut off with a small gasp, the noise enough to draw Harry's attention, and his gaze widened when she pulled the flower from her underwear, the blossoms curling in on themselves. She wasted no time putting it away and scrambling for another condom, sliding it onto Harry's bobbing length in a prolonged tease.
"You're killing me," Harry moaned, his head falling back with a low noise of want. "The two of ye are going to kill me."
"It's okay," Doug said, grinning when he caught Audrey wrap her legs around Harry's waist, saw her mouth fall open as she worked herself onto his dick. "We'll just bring you back, Harry. We always will."
"Fuck," Harry said, rather articulately, and then the three of them held on for dear life, trying to ride of the wave of their passion without falling apart.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Because Harry was in the middle for sex, Audrey was in the middle for cuddling, by seemingly unanimous decision. She didn't mind, by any means. She enjoyed having Harry curled around her back, enjoyed Doug's adoring stare even if it felt a little misplaced.
These were her boys. Hers.
"This hurt?" Harry asked, one hand idly cupping the front of her bra.
"A little," Audrey admitted. There would always be a pinch with these things, though she'd learned to deal with it.
"Want me to take it off?" Harry asked.
Audrey tensed, something Doug couldn't miss as close as he was.
"You don't have to," he said, so very gentle. "Or I could wear a blindfold."
"It's fine," Audrey said, flushing. "I mean, it's not bad, it's just- they're um- bigger than you'd expect."
Doug froze, his blush darkening. "That is a um- problem dwarven woman have as well," he murmured. "So it's- I wouldn't think less of you."
"Good," Harry said, nuzzling her curls as his hands strayed towards her bra fasteners. "'Cuz ye'd be real shitty if ye did. They're fucking lovely."
Audrey laughed, then motioned for him to carry on, letting out a relieved sigh when she was finally rid of the thing.
Somehow, Doug's blush managed to darken to a deep crimson. "Oh, um- wow."
"Yep," Harry preened, happy to cup the swollen mounds in his hands and give them a careful massage.
"You're lovely, Audrey," Doug said, his expression full of fondness. "You both are."
Harry scoffed. "Don't start on that now."
"Fuck off, Harry," Audrey said, reaching back to swat at his butt. "You're fucking pretty as hell, own it."
"I'll take handsome," Harry allowed.
"You're that too," Doug assured him. "Dashing and lovely and…" he trailed off when it was obvious he was getting worked up again. "I would keep you both in bed, wanting for nothing, if I could. Though to hoard you in such a way would be a disservice to the rest of the world."
Harry let out an embarrassed sound before he buried his face in Audrey's hair. "Fucking mushy," he grumbled.
"Yes," Doug hummed. "For you guys, I am."
-:-:-:-:-:-
Later, the three of them cuddled together in the tub. It took some creative maneuvering, but Harry and Audrey were determined for Doug to be in the middle this time, which allowed them to stroke and tease him while he shivered helplessly in their arms.
"S-Sorry," he gasped when they each had a hand between his legs, pumping his thick length. "D-Dwarven stamina."
"Three cheers for dwarves," Harry drawled, licking at Doug's neck, and it was no wonder he fell apart shortly thereafter.
"We um- we won't be able to do this as much, going forward," Doug admitted after they'd emptied and refilled the tub, Doug forcing himself to sit on the floor beside them, wrapped in Audrey's bathrobe so he wouldn't be as tempted. "You two can, obviously, but with my family's traditions…" he trailed off, blushing. "Truthfully, tonight was an indulgence, but it was allowed so I could have a chance to win you."
"So what?" Harry asked, Audrey settled in the V of his legs as they rested in the warm waters. "Now that ye've had us, you're not interested?"
There was a bit of defensiveness in his tone, so it wasn't really a surprise when Doug surged forward to kiss him slow and deep, nor a surprise when he turned to repeat the action on Audrey.
"I'm very interested," Doug said when he pulled back. "Extremely, endlessly interested, but as crown prince, there are certain traditions to uphold. I need to submit a formal declaration of courtship to your families-"
"Yeah," Harry scoffed. "Fucking good luck with that."
Audrey related to the sentiment, seeing as her Grandma Ingrith would never allow for the courtship to go through.
"Or I would," Doug continued. "But because of um- Harry's unique circumstances, the council is letting me pass on that. But I still have to get you courting gifts, and create you works by my own hands and create your courting beads – go on proper, chaperoned dates, and then…"
"And then what?" Harry asked. "Then we can have sex again?"
"Well, yes," Doug admitted. "Because um- we'd be engaged, so."
"That's what you do before you get married," Audrey informed Harry.
The pirate froze. "Ye… Ye actually want to marry us?"
"I meant what I said, Harry," Doug urged, voice gentle. "You're mine. And I want the whole world to know I'm yours."
"But…" Harry ducked his head. "You're a prince. That's- I don't know the first thing about whatever that would make me."
"Lord Consort," Audrey informed him. "And you've got lots of time to learn. Dwarves live for a very long time."
"Yeah," Doug said. "My uncle, the current heir – he's not even on the throne yet because my great uncle is still ruling. He's going to retire soon, but the point remains, we have a lot of time."
"Yeah, but not for ye, right?" Harry said, aiming the question at Audrey. "When are ye supposed to take over?"
Audrey tensed. "After college," she said. "At least for Auroria."
She had no idea when she'd be good enough for Ulstead.
"But that's still plenty of time," she insisted. "And you'll have lots of help. And you can still love Uma-"
"But what if she doesn't love me?" Harry interrupted, his voice subdued. "What if she never loves me?"
"Then she'd be a fool," Doug murmured. "And we would still love you."
Harry shivered, holding closer to Audrey. "…Then I guess I'm in," he declared, which was actually a big deal for him. "What do we need to do? Do we need to make ye presents?"
Doug flushed. "I mean, if you were dwarves, yes, but that's just our tradition."
"So we need to make you presents by our own hand," Audrey deduced. "Get you gifts and- what was that last one?"
"Hair beads," Doug said, looking so worked up he might faint. "I can- I have a few books you could look at, but you don't have to-"
"We should fucking try," Harry grumbled. "I can do this shit right, I'm not a total mess."
"No one said you were, Harry," Audrey murmured, and then she turned so she could properly kiss him, attention that he eagerly returned.
"Um," Doug said, staring at them with an open sort of longing. "I'm um- going to pull myself away, even though I really do not want to. For the record, I would rather be here, with you, but to be proper-"
"Go," Harry ordered, a smile tugging at his lips. "We can still kiss ye though, right?"
Because now that Harry had gotten himself some sweet Doug kisses, he wasn't able to let go.
"Y-Yes," Doug said. "That can- we can still do that."
"Good," Harry said, and then he dragged Doug in for another kiss.
Of course Audrey couldn't be shown up, so she kissed him too.
"Gotta go," Doug wheezed when she was pulling away and Harry had that particular glint in his eye. "But I really, really don't want to."
"Noted," Audrey said, and it was sort of flattering, how quickly he had to leave them before he lost all his restraint.
-:-:-:-:-:-
It had been a rough day for Harry – the other teen going through the emotional ringer of accepting love and affection and losing his mushroom, so Audrey was more than willing to indulge in some of his favorite activities. These, of course, included fondling her breasts, pinching and pulling at her nipples until she was all warm and flushed again.
"At least um- we don't have to go without," Harry said, talking idly to distract himself. "Not that- not that I wouldn't be able to manage, it's just nice that we can still enjoy each other."
"And you can enjoy this?" Audrey gasped, letting his head fall back against his shoulder. "I swear-"
She cut off with a moan, blindsided by sudden bursts of slick from her nipples. Intrigued, Harry worked on milking them, making Audrey shudder at each new torrent.
"Hey," Harry mused while he eased her through it. "I think you're getting a bit smaller."
"R-Really?" Audrey forced her eyes open and saw that her breasts were, in fact, smaller. They were still bigger than before, but they didn't feel nearly as heavy or uncomfortable. "Oh."
The sight of it, the relief, made her throb, so it wasn't a surprise when her breasts finally seemed done for Harry's fingers to find their way between her warm folds. He fingered her carefully, teasing and stroking against her clit while Audrey shuddered in his arms.
"This excited too?" Harry asked, though he seemed fond. "Ye feel good?"
"Real good," Audrey hummed, rutting into his fingers.
"It's nice to finally get a hand on ye," Harry admitted. "That flower took all the fun-"
His finger caught against something, and it took a moment for Audrey to realize it was the mushroom – her first one. She almost didn't recognize it until Harry was pulling it out of her, the thin stalk wrapped around his finger as he pulled and pulled.
The last of it popped out, and Audrey came, gushing entirely her own juices, because the mushroom was gone.
"Holy fuck," Harry said, staring at the small thing while Audrey shivered. "Ye had one in there?"
"Yeah," Audrey gasped, sprawling against his chest. "It was fucking awful."
"I'd imagine," Harry hummed, flicking it onto the floor. "Better now?"
"Much," Audrey said, thinking about her solid, new relationships, about the tests she had passed, about a body that was now hers again. She was pretty sure she was still a bit bigger than before, but she could hardly care. She had what she needed.
And that was all that mattered.
-:-:-:-:-:-
The relationship announcement went out later that week – first in Erebor, and then it was picked up by all the other gossip columns eager for fresh royal news.
"Douglass Durin," her Grandma Ingrith had noted in an unreadable tone during her usual Wednesday night phone call. "An odd choice."
"He's a prince, grandma," Audrey said, keeping her focus on the first of her courting gifts – a portrait of Doug's mother. "You said I should get a prince, and he's a prince of one of the most economically prosperous kingdoms in all of Auradon."
"Erebor isn't recognized as a kingdom, sweetheart," her grandmother cooed in that tone of false sweetness. "It's a city state."
"For now," Audrey hummed. "Queen Snow's working to fix that."
"That doesn't change the fact that it's a kingdom of dwarves," her grandma said. "They're hardly civilianized."
"They're master craftsmen whose work is the most sought out in all of Auradon," Audrey countered.
"Be that as it may," her grandmother said, dropping the subject because she couldn't really argue it. "What's this about him courting two of you? And a boy, for that matter? And on top of that, he's Captain Hook's son? Audrey, you can't be in a relationship with one of those villain kids."
"Why not?" Audrey challenged, even though she had learned not to go against her grandmother's orders the hard way a long time ago. "Ben is dating several of them."
"But he wouldn't be if you had done your job right, would he?" her grandma murmured, making Audrey stop cold. "But you failed, and now the future of Auradon is doomed. And instead of trying to brace yourself for the political turmoil that will follow by positioning our kingdoms more favorably, you're dating a half-dwarf mutt and the son of a child killer." Put like that, Audrey's choices didn't seem nearly as dashing. "I know you're broken up about Ben, schnookums, but if you gave me more time, we could work things out. There's no need to throw yourself into such… thoughtless relationships."
Audrey took a slow breath, braced herself. She was Audrey Rose. She was the princess of Auroria and Ulstead.
She should not be bullied by her grandmother.
"I love them," she said simply. "And I want to date them."
That earned her a laugh. "Love is for fools," her grandmother chuckled. "And hardly relevant. You'll break up with them immediately."
"No." Audrey said, her voice hard.
"Excuse me?" her grandmother asked, like maybe she hadn't heard Audrey right.
"No," Audrey repeated. "I'm not doing this anymore. I have spent my entire life trying to work up to your expectations of what a princess should be, and frankly, it's a ludicrous waste of my time. I am a good princess, I have always been a good princess, and my parents being dead doesn't change that." No matter what Grandma Ingrith said. "And as you do not have custody of me, you have no say in who I date. Now." She put her pencil down so she could glare at her phone. "I will do you the courtesy of not having a restraining order put against you, but this will be the last time you speak to me. This will be the last time you interfere in my life. No more digitally tracking me or sending your assistant to bother me at all hours of the day. No more abducting me for random functions you feel are important. No more adjusting my schedule without my permission, or bothering Grammy Leah and Papa Stefan. We're done, grandma."
They were words she had wanted to speak for years now, words that burned in her chest that she had been too terrified to vocalize. Her Grandma Ingrith had always seemed larger than life – the perfect height of what a queen should be, but Audrey had never been able to live up to her standards. She suspected nothing she could have done would make it happen.
"If that is what you wish," her grandma said ominously, voice tight, and then the line cut off, leaving Audrey alone.
It likely wasn't the end of things, she would still have to be on guard, but it was definitely a start.
A new, better one.
-:-:-:-:-:-
"Okay, so you guys are dating now?" Lonnie asked, Audrey content in her position by Doug now, the two of them close but not holding hands so as not to make Harry feel left out.
"Courting," Doug corrected, his cheeks heated in a blush. "I'm courting Audrey and Harry."
"About that," Marsaili said, holding up a hand. "Why?"
"Because I love them," Doug said simply, and Audrey was glad she was recording the conversation because she was totally going to play it back to Harry like a hundred times while she drilled his brains out.
Before Marsaili could reply, none other than Uma herself arrived at the table, Harry and Gil following after her with conflicting looks of concern.
"You think you can usurp my claim?" was how Uma chose to greet them, forcing herself in on Doug's other side, making Jane squawk as she was shoved aside.
"No, Captain," Audrey said, because she understood the importance of showing respect in delicate situations. "We both know Harry will belong to you first."
"It's no question," Doug said. "But I love him-"
"You'll take care of him," Uma interrupted, Harry flushing red like a tomato. "You will treasure him, and if you ever hurt him, I will gut you."
"That's fair," Doug said instead of having any kind of natural response, and when Uma decided he was telling the truth, she sat back with a satisfied nod.
"Okay, just so we're clear," Uma said. "Boys, we're sitting here now."
"Okay, Uma!" Gil chirped, happily settling in next to Lonnie.
Harry seemed at a complete loss.
"Come here, sugar," Audrey said, holding out a hand to Harry, which he gratefully took. "Looks like you can glare at people from our table now."
"Yeah," Gil cheered. "Harry's really good at that."
"Don't we know it," Marsaili laughed. "Audrey only talks about it all the time."
"As she should," Uma preened, making Harry preen, making Audrey and Doug smile.
This was… yeah, this was a good trade off. Audrey would gladly take it.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Dinner with Doug's family was an appropriately intimidating affair.
Audrey's first impression with them hadn't been a great one, and Harry was terrified on account of his lineage but refused to say as much, thus leading them both to be sort of nervous wrecks who tried hard to hide it. They dressed up as best they could, Harry allowing Audrey to dress him in a more Auradon style – a blazer and vest in muted red with a black shirt and pants, the two of them doing their makeup together before they finished wrapping their first courtship presents.
Normally, their families would be present as well, but with Harry's biological family on the Isle and Audrey's parents dead, the two of them only had each other for company.
"It will be fine," Audrey said, holding tight to Harry's hand. "They seemed nice when I met them. Enthusiastic, but nice."
"They're gonna fucking hate me," Harry said, fidgeting in place. "They're gonna see their kid's dating Isle garbage and they'll hate me."
"You're not Isle garbage," Audrey growled, pulling him into a half-hug. "You are Harry Hook and you are our beau – Uma's champion, and a fucking great human being, and they will see that because Doug loves you and they love Doug."
"But if- if it goes wrong," Harry said, still twitching. "They'll like ye-"
"Package deal, Harold."
"It's Harrison," Harry snapped, only to be interrupted by Audrey's very determined kiss.
"We're in this together," Audrey said when they pulled apart, reaching up to wipe the lipstick from Harry's mouth. "Now calm down and stay close."
They met in the villa Queen Snow kept in Auradon City. She used it to commute to council sessions, but she shared it with the Erebor royal family. It was where Doug's parents stayed when they came to see his concerts.
Audrey was the one to knock on the door because Harry was entirely too nervous, the pirate twitchy enough to bolt.
This desire probably wasn't helped when the door was thrown open, revealing the curly-haired not-dwarf from before, Uncle Bilbo.
"Oh, do come in!" he cheered, motioning them on. "So lovely to see you under these improved circumstances. We all told Dili that honesty was the best policy but it all worked out in the end!" He shot Audrey a grin over his shoulder as he motioned them into a dining room. "You even found his other mate!"
"Yes, we're all very proud," Doug's grandmother said from the head of the table. "Of you two, at least."
"Grandma," Doug sighed.
"Don't 'grandma' her, Runnel," Doug's dad said, his grin bright. "You almost lost both of them."
"Don't remind the lad," a rough looking dwarf with tattoos covering his bald head groused. "Those were miserable weeks for all of us."
"And now they're behind us," Uncle Bilbo said, expertly nudging Harry and Audrey into their positions. "Come, come! We have so much food for you."
"And much to discuss," Doug's grandmother said. "And, of course, gifts to present."
Doug flushed from his position by his parents, his smile shy but true.
"We um- have our first courting gifts as well," Audrey said, her and Harry holding up their respective packages. "If that's okay."
Doug's grandma paused, seeming surprised by this, then broke out into a large smile. "That would be more than okay, your highness."
It should have been awkward, trading presents in front of Doug's entire family (Nori helpfully murmuring names from the shadows because the Durins tended to forget things like introductions), but it was actually quite nice. It turned out, just about every dwarf in Erebor was required to have some amount of skill in blacksmithing. As such, the gifts Doug passed to them were not music, but beautifully forged creations.
Audrey's gift was a necklace in rose gold, a rose blooming and curling to life, the rest of the chain seeming composed of its leafy vines. Harry's gift was buttons – gold and gleaming – each engraved with a combination of his hook symbol and Uma's octopus, with two smaller buttons engraved with Gil's bullheads.
"For um- the sleeves," Doug said. "If you wanted to make a coat."
Harry just stared at his prize, likely overwhelmed to get something so grand specifically intended for him.
"Are they acceptable?" Doug's grandmother – Lady Dis – asked.
"Very," Harry said, still staring at his buttons. "I…"
"We love them," Audrey said so Harry wouldn't have to fumble through his awe. "Here."
She passed over Harry's gift before the first mate could second guess himself, could doubt the quality in comparison to what Doug had given them.
Doug opened the package slowly, Harry's tension growing with each passing moment until the paper finally fell away to reveal a smart coat. Nori had helped by offering fabric choices, explaining that the blue Hanover sported in their flag was actually Durin blue, the color of Erebor, that was often mixed with silver. As such, Harry had set about creating a coat worthy of a king – deep blue trimmed in silver that still seemed suitable to the more reserved Doug. Audrey thought the finished product was spectacular, but she could tell Harry was concerned.
"That's marvelous!" Uncle Bilbo – otherwise known as Great Uncle Bilbo, and current Lord Consort of Erebor – cheered. "And you made this yourself?"
"Yes." Harry gave a jerked nod. "Hand embroidered it too."
He'd stitched the stars of the House of Durin into the cuffs.
"It's amazing, Harry," Doug said, the words alone enough to make Harry flush bright red.
"Told you," Audrey whispered, getting a flustered look from Harry.
Her gifts were next, and sort of obvious, based on their shape.
"I um- had to guess for your clothes," she explained as Doug opened the gift – two portraits, one of each of his parents. "There weren't a lot of records for royal elven and dwarvish wear."
"You did wonderfully," Doug's mother – Lady Tauriel – assured. She was smiling, just as sweet and reserved as she had been when Audrey had first met her, a smile she hoped she'd properly caught in her painting.
"And who says humans don't understand courting?" Lady Dis said, sharing a smile with her brother, King Thorin, the current leader of Erebor. "Gifts made by their own hand, and lovely ones too."
"You chose well, Runnel," Doug's father cheered, and just like that, they started eating.
It was a nice meal, warm and loud and comforting. Audrey imagined this was what having a big family felt like.
"Sort of reminds me of the crew," Harry muttered when they were leaving the house. "Everyone loud but happy."
"We'll get them off the Isle," Audrey promised, squeezing her fingers. "So does that mean you like them?"
"Well…" Harry ducked his head. "I'm still surprised they don't hate me."
"You take care of Doug," Audrey said. "That's all they care about, because they're good."
"They'd be our family," Harry said as they got into the care. "If um- we got married."
"Would you be okay with that?"
"Me?" Harry asked. "I'd- I think I'd be great with that, actually."
Audrey smiled, feeling the happiness all the way down to her bones. "I think I would be too."
-:-:-:-:-:-
Nori helped Harry and Audrey create their courting beads for Doug. Apparently this part could be passed off to the professionals, so it was up to them to design the small beads that were intended to be worn in their hair.
"Braids are important to dwarven culture," Nori explained, pointing to his bounty of plaits. "Actually,hair is important to dwarven culture, and we take great pride in it. Our braids tell different stories – about our occupations and our specialties, about our lineage-" He wagged his brows at them suggestively. "About our love lives. These beads will hold your courting braids when you trade them, and symbolize to all that you're committed to each other."
"How, though?" Harry grumbled. "The only one of us that has enough hair for braiding is Audrey."
Uma helped with that, actually, using her magic to grow out small sections of Doug and Harry's hair until they were long enough to braid.
"I um- didn't think I would find you this soon," Doug explained as he demonstrated the braid, blushing brightly. "I had sort of given up on it. Figured I would find my mate in college, so I uh- kept my hair shorter to fit in."
"Well, now you can do what you want," Audrey said, smiling at the new braid woven into her hair, the thing starting just above her left ear and hugging close to her skull before it trailed down into her other curls. She had a courting braid, and Harry and Doug's beads were fixed to it.
A year ago, she never would have looked at Doug and Harry and seen her future, but now here she was, and she couldn't be happier.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Endnotes:
Thanks for the feedback! It always makes my day, especially with this particular brand of chaos. We're almost to the end of this particular story, but no worries – there are three more installments of the Wonderland Mushroom series, and they are all excessively dumb ;)
Story notes:
The bald dwarf with tattoos is Dwalin, aka Grumpy.
So yes, it is now canon that Harry and Doug have rattails. No, I will not apologize ;D
Until next time :)