AN: I updated chapter four for a few translations I hadn't thought to add, if any of you want to go back and read that.

funeral – phoebe bridgers

"wishing i was someone else, feeling sorry for myself

when i remembered someone's kid is dead."

When Sofia finally got out of the Hospital Wing and went back into the potions lab, she discovered that someone had gotten rid of the Death-cap she had left half-torn apart on her desk and now a little bottled labelled 'Death-cap gill extract' stood in its place.

Sofia had a sinking suspicion about who had left it there. She would have liked to think that maybe it was Slughorn, but she was pretty sure the man hated her now if the stern talking to and detention she'd gotten from him the second she got out of the infirmary was anything to go by.

She planned on getting some work done before breakfast, but just the sheer sight of that expensive little bottle made her feel unbearably... mad. What was Black playing at? Since when was she his charity case? It made her feel icky to even think about it.

So, she turned right back around and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.

There weren't that many students when she got there, so she sat by herself. She peeked at her burn as she reached for the pumpkin juice. It was still kind of tender and she had to apply ointment on it three times a day but overall, it wasn't so bad.

A Daily Prophet owl spotted Sofia and she took the paper from it. She skimmed it, and right there on the front page was a headline that made her breath catch.

EIGHT DEAD ON ANTI-MUGGLE ATTACK

Sofia felt her heart hammering on her chest as she read the article. It had happened in London, not even too far from her neighbourhood. Some dark wizards had attacked a Muggle shop leaving eight Muggles dead. They didn't know the reason behind the attack yet, or even who had done it. She wanted to cry just reading about it.

Sofia knew the chance of any member of her family being anywhere near that shop she'd never even heard of was very slim. And even if that were the case, she figured she would have already been contacted, seeing as this took place the previous night. But still, that tiny possibility made her nervous.

She wished she could call them, at least to make extra sure they were alright.

Sofia practically snatched the letter her owl carried when it finally showed up a few minutes later.

The first half of the letter was just the regular stuff her siblings wrote about, school and whatnot, then almost at the end there was one paragraph, written by her mother that stood out.

Do you remember Rajan, from down the road? You used to play with him all the time when we first moved here. You liked him because he talked a lot and saved you from having to speak English. There was some sort of gas leak that caused an explosion down in a shop in Ealing and Rajan was there. He didn't make it. Just terrible. It made me want to hug you and your siblings extra hard when I heard.

Sofia placed a hand over her mouth. Of course she remembered Raj, they had stopped hanging out after Sofia's father had left when she had just been too busy to play anymore. But she still saw him around the neighbourhood sometimes and he was always happy to say hello to her.

She felt tears rise in her eyes. This hit way too close to home. Not only in the sense that the attack had literally happened close to her home, but that this had been dark wizards. This was just the reason why as soon as she was done with Hogwarts, she was grabbing her family and leaving the wizarding world and never returning.

"Sonya? Are you okay? What happened?" Sirius had arrived at the Great Hall and was looking at Sofia with a frown.

She handed him the paper and the letter, folded to the paragraph he should pay attention to. He read in silence for a minute before turning to his friend. "Oh shit, Sof. I'm sorry."

Sofia didn't trust her voice to hold up. She placed her hand over her face and the tears finally fell.

Sirius put an arm around her and led her out of the Hall to an empty classroom. He hugged her tightly and rubbed her back to comfort her.

"I fucking hate wizards," Sofia spat out through the knot in her throat.

"I know," Sirius said, his chin resting on top of her head. "Are those protective spells still working?"

He meant the protections Sofia had cast over her family's flat to guard it. "Yeah, but I can't just keep them confined to that flat all the time."

Sirius hummed but he didn't say anything. He knew she was right.

"Raj's dad was always so nice to me. Whenever my parents fought, he would let me stay over at their flat and he'd let me eat all the biscuits. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves to know the truth about how his kid died, but he never will."

Sirius held her until she was ready to let go. He offered a few more words of comfort and tried to get her to go finish her breakfast but Sofia had lost her appetite entirely.

She went to her potions lab, if she focused on making a potion maybe she could get her mind off things.

Then she arrived at the dungeon and saw the bottle of Death-cap extract and she remembered why she had gone to breakfast in the first place. It all seemed so stupid now. She'd been agonising over what the hell it meant that Regulus Black had bought her an expensive potion ingredient while Raj and seven other innocent people had been thoughtlessly murdered in cold blood. It made her feel sick.

She put the bottle into her stash of supplies and didn't give it any further thought. There was still over a half-hour left until class started so she would use that time to make a potion and when Regulus arrived she didn't even think she felt like acknowledging him.

She couldn't believe she had been so idiotic. Treating Regulus Black almost as a... friend. Yes, they had had only a few decent conversations, but Sofia felt the way their arguments had started taking a teasing tone. She'd even started thinking that maybe he wasn't so bad.

But not anymore. She had to keep her guard up around him. Because even if he wasn't especially vocal about his beliefs, Sofia knew what those beliefs were, and she knew the company he kept and how he perpetuated the discrimination of Muggles and Muggle-borns.

No, she couldn't take that risk anymore.

He got to the lab but Sofia didn't even look up from her potion. Truthfully, she felt drained. Not only from the long week but just from the constant fear she felt eating away at her. Fear for her family and friends and for herself. She didn't speak to him and he didn't speak to her either. Sofia would be lying if she said she didn't feel a flash of woe over the loss of their... potions camaraderie or whatever the fuck it was, but it had to be done.

Sofia felt a lot better the next day. The sadness had started to fade away and she was left with just pure rage – which was something she was quite familiar with. It helped that she had Quidditch practice, hitting things with a bat was always a nice way to release some rage.

Not to mention they were playing Slytherin the next day, which meant Sofia could just go absolutely batshit on those Bludgers. She looked forward to it.

A feeling that also lingered was that of helplessness, which she hated. She hated thinking about the families of those Muggles not even knowing the true reason why their loved ones were dead. Sofia's mother had mentioned Raj's family struggling to pay for the funeral costs and that had given Sofia an idea to at least feel like she was doing something.

During lunch, Sofia along with Chloe got permission from Dumbledore to organise a fund-raiser for the Muggle families affected by the attack. Chloe even made a banner they could hang on the wall beside the Gryffindor table where they had set up with a box for the money.

Chloe went over to Dumbledore's podium and made a short speech about their cause, encouraging people to donate however much they could. Sofia and Chloe had both agreed it was better if it was Chloe who made the speech, Sofia probably would've gotten up there and yelled at their rich classmates to open their fucking purses.

Then, they sat and waited for people to come to them. They had a pretty good turn-out overall. Sofia wasn't sure how much they had collected yet but maybe half of the Gryffindor table had donated and a significant number from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff too. No one from Slytherin yet but Sofia and Chloe would be accepting donations for the rest of the day and the next day and Sofia expected at least a few Slytherins might donate, just not in front of their Housemates, she knew there were at least some decent Slytherins.

"Isn't it upsetting how out of all the rich people here, about eighty per cent of them are assholes who won't give us a cent?" Sofia asked Chloe as they hit a lull in donations close to the end of lunchtime.

Chloe shrugged. "Yeah, but we can hardly do anything about it."

Sofia watched as a group of Slytherins exited the Hall, Regulus among them. His gaze lingered on Sofia, she looked back at him defiantly.

"So... by any chance, does any of this have something to do with him?" Chloe asked gingerly, gesturing first at their banner and then at the doors Regulus had just walked out of.

Sofia scoffed. "Honda, come on. Don't you think I care about Muggles on my own right?"

"It's not that at all! I just... come on, you're not gonna tell me that death glare was nothing."

Sofia groaned. "Well... maybe, maybe he has been getting a little too... chummy lately and I do feel like reminding him I'm a Muggleborn through and through. But it has nothing to do with this."

Chloe's eyes widened. She seemed amused. "It's hard to imagine Regulus Black getting chummy with anyone."

"You know what I mean. With the whole, talking to me about potions as if he didn't think I was an abomination and getting ingredients for me and shit."

Chloe's brows raised. "He got you potions ingredients?"

Sofia rolled her eyes. "It was nothing... but I don't want him to forget I'm a Muggleborn and that he hates me."

"How do you know he hates you?"

Sofia really didn't want to be having this conversation. "Because he's a bigot, Chloe! He hates Muggles and Muggleborns, ergo, he hates me, okay?"

Chloe sighed and didn't reply. Someone arrived to make a donation and thankfully put an end to the conversation.

They counted the money after lunchtime was over and they had gotten a pretty hefty amount. Sofia was slightly surprised. They got some more cash throughout the day and Sofia's theory of the Slytherins donating as privately as possible was proven right. She tried to remember the faces of the five entire Slytherins who had come up to her so that she could avoid lumping them in with the rest of their Housemates.

By the time the Quidditch match rolled around the next morning, Sofia was feeling pretty good. And a lot of it had to do with the fact that she would get to hit a few Slytherins in the face, especially Travers.

She heard Sirius's voice outside the locker room, introducing the Gryffindor team and it made her smile. Hearing his commentating while she played always made her feel better. She missed playing alongside him, during the two short years he'd been on the team before deciding there were too many practices and quitting.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. Please make some noise for the one and only, the greatest Beater this school has ever seen! The Russian Rocket, SOFIA BESSONOVA!" He exclaimed in his dramatic Quidditch announcer voice.

Sofia couldn't help but grin as the audience did just what Sirius asked them to. She might have never spoken to the majority of her Housemates but she certainly felt quite well-liked by them when they cheered her on during matches. All knowing quite well she was one of the main reasons for the success of the Gryffindor team.

The game kicked off and Sofia immediately went to work. She tried to tune out most noises save for the voice of her fellow Beater while she played most of the time. If this had been any other game, she might've attempted to try and get Carter more involved in plays so that he could gain more confidence with the bat, but today she was on a warpath. This was made obvious by the war paint on her face, the leather fingerless gloves and her tightly coiled twin french braids.

It wasn't just hitting hard that made Sofia such a great Beater, but it was also the quickness on her broom, which made it possible for her to get to the Bludgers first. People always underestimated a small Beater.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sofia could see Regulus starting a mad dash for the Snitch. She couldn't see the Snitch itself but Regulus definitely had that determined glide as he flew that could only mean he had spotted the Snitch.

The gears quickly turned in Sofia's brain. She sped over towards Potter, a Bludger hurling towards him. She positioned herself in front of him, he kept flying as if she weren't there, Quaffle safely in his hands.

She even had time to adjust her position slightly and when it came, Sofia diverted the Bludger with a carefully calculated hit.

The Bludger went flying towards the other end of the pitch. For a second she thought it wouldn't hit home and she started looking for the other Bludger so she could try again but then the Bludger hit Black square on the side and he fell right off his broom. He flailed his limbs, attempting to hold on but he ultimately free fell towards the ground. It was only a few feet but Coach still threw a spell so Regulus wouldn't get hurt upon hitting the ground.

"AND BLACK'S DASH FOR THE SNITCH HAS BEEN FOILED BY THE GREAT BESSONOVA!" Sirius practically shrieked into the mic.

The noise from the hit had called the attention of the Gryffindor Seeker, who rushed over to the spot where Regulus had just let the Snitch fly.

Lydia might not have been that great yet at spotting the Snitch, but god, that tiny girl was quick on a broom.

Regulus was barely just getting back on his broom but Lydia was already on the Snitch's tail. A Bludger flew towards the girl and Sofia rushed over to her and hit it back towards Travers twice as hard. Not on her fucking watch.

"LYDIA SCHRADER HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH. THE RUSSIAN ROCKET HAS DONE IT AGAIN. GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

Sofia's back had been to Lydia, so she hadn't seen the moment when Lydia caught the Snitch. Sofia turned to Lydia and wrapped her up in a hug. Sofia wasn't generally a touchy-feely person, but she kind of was when she won at Quidditch.

The rest of the team went over to them to celebrate.

While they exchanged congratulations, Sofia caught a glimpse of the Slytherins. Oh boy, they were pissed off. She would've expected at least one of them to try to throw a Bludger her way before leaving, which was almost a tradition at this point, but they surprisingly didn't.

Regulus was the last one in the team to head off to the locker room. He stared at Sofia intently, not even glaring – which, honestly, she would've preferred – just staring. It unnerved her. He didn't seem angry per se, but he was definitely pissed off. Sofia had been giving him the silent treatment the past few days, but this time she was feeling a little bold, so she smirked at him, it was a the-best-bitch-just-won smirk and she sincerely hoped it stung.

It took Sofia a minute to remember where she was when she woke up on Sunday morning.

Then it sent a pang through her chest, that her own bedroom roof wasn't immediately familiar to her. Maybe she wouldn't have been so confused if she had actually fallen asleep in there.

It came back to her in a second. After Raj's wake, she had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Tony's car. Because her own father still could not be bothered with his own family and sent his boyfriend over.

Sofia had felt faint when she'd talked to Raj's dad at the wake the previous night. She wanted to tell him the truth so badly. But she settled for giving him the hefty amount of money that she had managed to collect at Hogwarts and had exchanged for Muggle money in a pitstop to Diagon Alley. The man had been shocked but grateful.

When Tony had shown up to drive Sofia and her mum to the wake, he had claimed that Mr Bessonov had some work he couldn't get out of over in France and Sofia knew that it was probably true but it still pissed her off.

Later that evening she had tried to ask Tony if the reason her dad had been so absent had anything to do with a possible relapse, but Tony had denied it. Still, Sofia was kind of unsure.

"Hey, you're up," Mum peeked into Sofia's room. "I made pancakes, Professor McGonagall said she would be here to take you back to school at noon."

Sofia nodded and her mum left the room. Sofia glanced at Natalia's bed, it was empty. She was still tired but she got up, wanting to make the most of the small amount of time she had left with her family.

Everyone was seated at the table already, only Ivan was running around the living room doing god knew what.

Sofia dug into her pancakes as Natasha told her about the roles for her recital next month and how she had made all the girls in her class watch a video of Dad's performance in Swan Lake at the Kirov. Nat still had a bit of a runny nose from the cold she'd had but she looked pretty well, their mum thought she could go back to school on Monday.

Vanya ran towards Sofia and climbed onto her lap. He took a bite out of Sofia's pancakes. Sofia rested her chin on his head and caressed his hair.

"Sonya, abuelita said she wants to come to visit us on Christmas," Vanya said.

"Huh, did she?" Sofia replied in Spanish.

Vanya nodded. "She said she'll sail all the way here if she has to," he replied in English.

"We'll see," Mum said sternly when Sofia glanced at her.

Sofia hoped abuelita could come. They hadn't seen her in over a year. It was complicated because abuelita was getting a bit too old to travel, especially by herself. But it was also expensive to get five plane tickets to Cuba. Last time they'd seen her, they had gone to her after a show Dad had choreographed had done pretty well and he'd gotten a bit of a bonus.

A few hours later, McGonagall arrived and Sofia said goodbye to her family and Apparated to Hogsmeade to the professor.

Sofia was still tired, both physically and emotionally but it just so happened that it was a Hogsmeade weekend and there was something she really really needed to get from the apothecary so she headed to the shop after ditching McGonagall.

Sofia made conversation with the shopkeep as he looked in the back for the octopus powder. She leaned on the counter and examined the Dandelion roots on display in front of her.

The door opened somewhere behind her and someone stood next to her at the counter. She could see who it was out of the corner of her eye. She sighed internally. Of fucking course.

The shopkeeper came back with Sofia's stuff and Regulus asked for a few things of his own.

"Is that octopus powder?" He asked.

Sofia tensed. She wouldn't have replied, but she felt quite pissed off currently. "What's it to you, Black?"

She quickly paid and got the hell out of there.

She didn't make it more than a few feet out the door when Regulus stopped her.

"Did I do something to you, Bessonova?"

Sofia crossed her arms over her chest. "Even if you did, would you really care?"

He seemed annoyed by her answer. "I just thought that we..."

Sofia raised a brow. "We what, Black? Were friends?" She spat the word out. "Because I can't be friends with someone who doesn't even think me or my loved ones should exist."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is this about that Muggle attack? You know I didn't raise a wand to their throats and cast the Killing Curse myself, right?"

Sofia's jaw clenched. "Maybe not, but you believe in their same cause, don't you? You're friends with their kids, and you practice the same dark magic they do. Don't you?"

He sighed as if he couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "I'm not a killer, Bessonova."

"And you never will be?"

"I... I don't want to kill Muggles, or Muggleborns, or anyone for that matter," he said, with the slightest hint of desperation in his tone, which caught Sofia off guard.

Sofia paused. "Maybe you don't want to, but would you? If it meant staying in the good graces of your precious social circles, if one of those Death Eaters whose bums you kiss, told you to, would you do it?"

Regulus seemed at a loss. It was odd, he always seemed so collected, but right now there was something in his eyes that just screamed out in distress to her.

She genuinely wanted to know what he would answer but they were interrupted by a shrill voice at the end of the street.

"Reg! What's going on? Are you coming?"

Sofia finally tore her eyes away from him to see Eliana Travers, a Slytherin from their year, looking concerned a few feet away from them.

Regulus didn't look at Eliana.

Sofia waited for a few seconds, to see if he would say anything, but he didn't. "That's what I thought."

She walked away, leaving him standing on the sidewalk, looking like he'd just had the air knocked out of him.