1702
"Hey, Sess?" Kagome calls out from their private bathing chamber as she soaks in the magical hot spring. She's unsurprised when he appears in the doorway, crossing his arms and leaning against the jamb. His eyes rove her naked form in the water, and she can feel the wave of desire through the bond. "Before that, I have a question."
"What is it, koi?" he asks as he straightens and moves to sit on the edge of the spring. Kagome shifts to cross her arms across his lap, her chin resting on them.
"What're your thoughts... On... kids?" she probes slowly, eyes locked with his, and concentrating on their bond. A flicker of confusion before it morphs into mild concern, hope and joy. Good, he doesn't hate the idea.
"I am not opposed. I presume you mean pups of our own." he murmurs, trailing a claw gently down her cheek.
"Yeah. We've been mated for 52 years now, and when we got mated, we decided not to for a while, since we had Rin and Shippo, and the issues with the Southern Lord and the dragons are probably still a thing. But…", she stresses the last word, "I've been thinking... And... I wouldn't mind having a kid. If you were up for it." she proposes quietly, feeling his hope and joy grow through their bond.
"Kagome, there is never a good time for bringing new life into the world. There is only when we feel we are ready, if we have the choice of the matter. I have never been opposed to the idea, but it is your body. You wished to wait, and I was, am, in no rush, so was happy to do so. Your ability to create a charm to ward against pregnancy is likely the only reason we do not have a herd of pups running about the castle. An ingenious invention, if I do say so myself." he chuckles.
"It was Rin's idea actually. Why do you think she hasn't had pups yet?" she smirks, watching his face twist a bit before shaking himself visibly.
"I do not wish to think on such matters. Regardless, if you wish for pups, you shall have them, my love." he avows as he leans down to kiss her soundly, untying his haori as he does and removing it. When he releases her to breathe, he stands and divests himself of the rest of his clothes, before grabbing his miko and dragging her from the water, carrying her giggling form to their bed.
"What, now?" she laughs.
"Hn, yes. We shall start now. You are not fertile yet, and you still wear the charm, but practice makes perfect, does it not?" He gives her a wicked grin as he lays her down and crawls over her, nipping across her collarbones.
"At least let me take off the charm, you horn dog." Her lilting laugh echoes throughout the room. She pulls off the ring she had attached the charm to and hands it to him. He quirks a brow at her as he stands, taking the ring and placing it on her vanity, in the tray with her other jewelry. "I'll have to remove the charm, cuz I like that ring. I'm going to want to wear it again." she says, gasping at the end as he bites her throat gently. He soothes the mark with his tongue as his hands travel down the length of her body, shifting her slightly as he trails kisses, nips and licks down her chest and stomach.
"Pretty sure that's not how you make a baby." Kagome quips before yelping quietly when Sesshoumaru nips at her clit.
"Do you wish to be pleasured, or merely operated for the purpose of procreation?" he intones wryly, before laving his tongue over her folds and rumbling.
"Oh, don't you dare stop." she moans.
"Very well." he plunges his tongue into her channel, twirling her clit with his thumb as she bucks hard against him. She claws at the sheets when he moves his mouth to suck hard on her clit, slamming two fingers into her and pressing upwards, earning him a loud, drawn out moan. Hooking her legs over his shoulders, he feasts on her, nipping and sucking on her sensitive bud, and sliding his fingers in and out of her, pressing up as he drags his fingers back. It doesn't take very long before her walls clench tightly, trying to hold his fingers in place as she flies apart. He rubs lightly on the upper wall and bites harshly against her clit, making her almost shriek as she arches back from the overwhelming sensation.
Panting, she stares at the ceiling until her vision is filled with her mate, having crawled up her body, planting his hips firmly between her legs, his throbbing erection demanding entrance to her wet warmth. Bending his head, he captures her lips slowly, sweetly, as he rocks his hips gently, his member sliding against her, before she mewls against him and bucks her own hips upwards. He smirks as he pulls away to let her breathe, slipping a hand down to position himself before, at an achingly slow speed, he pushes into her. She growls as she tries to rock upwards to impale herself on his length.
He nips her ear, making her jump a bit, before glaring at him lightly. "Sess, please..." she moans out, raking her nails across his back. "Please, fuck me. Stop teasing me." she pleads.
"Only because you begged so prettily, little mate." Sesshoumaru says as he slams forward, making her back bow harshly off the bed and she gasps loudly. He wastes no time working her over, attending to her every need until she is incapable of coherent thought. His thrusts begin to lose their smooth tempo as his climax approaches, and Kagome mewls in his ear before biting down on the mark she gave him just over five decades ago, and feels him do the same. Immediately, they're rocketed off into their shared ecstasy, magnified by their bond as it feeds into itself over and over until their minds drop into oblivion for a moment, their fangs releasing automatically.
When they are able to focus again, they are panting, Sesshoumaru laying heavily on top of Kagome, neither caring as they bask in the glow of their bond and the aftershocks of their orgasms.
"Even if we never have a kid, this will always be worth doing." she breathes, snaking her arms around her mates neck and kissing his throat. He wraps his own arms around her and rolls them both over, so he is on his back, and she's draped over him.
"I love you, Kagome." he murmurs against her mark, nuzzling it gently, feeling sleep attempt to claim him.
"Mm, I love you, too. I'm gunna go to sleep now, hope that's alright." she slurs slightly as she shifts to get comfortable, feeling him reach for a blanket to cover them both and a rumble begin in his chest, lulling her to sleep.
"Always, koi."
"Mama!"
"Daddy!"
Kagome and Sesshoumaru trade glances as their children come to the garden, intent on finding them. Well, Shippo's definitely going to find us. She sighs as she shifts against her mate, where she's been leaning against him, sitting between his legs, her back to his chest, and his arms looped loosely around her waist.
"Indeed, he will." she hears in her head, making her shoot up and turn around. She eyes the relaxed inu critically, only receiving an arched brow.
"Did you…" she starts before,
"I did. It seems our bond has evolved."
"Oh Kami…" she breathes. "I'm never going to have a private thought again, am I?" she asks, laughing.
"That depends. I assume that there is a way to filter one's thoughts to not share every single thing that crosses our minds." His head tilts, and watches her. "Hn. Interesting. It does not transmit images or memories. Only direct inverbal sentences."
You mean like this?
"Hn, indeed, it appears so. To answer your prior question, if you are speaking to yourself in your mind, no, it is unlikely they will remain private from me, now." he leans forward and nips her bottom lip. "Not that I mind, little mate."
"Good, cuz I do it a lot, and you already think I talk too much. Now, you'll be hearing my internal monologues, as well." she quips, before hearing their children closing in on them. "Forgot about them. Well, lets go see what the rascals want." She stands and stretches, then holds out her hand to her mate to lead him out from the long draping branches of the willow tree they had been relaxing under.
"Mama! There you are." Shippo exclaims when he sees them. "I'm back, and guess what?" he bounces lightly.
"What? What're you so giddy for?" Kagome giggles.
"I graduated! Look!" He turns around quickly. Kagome releases her mates hand and darts forward to count his tails. Now fully grown and of age, Shippo has grown to be about 6 feet tall, and now sports 6 bright bushy tails.
"Oh, Kami. Oh, Shippo, congratulations! I can't believe it!"
"Youngest kitsune to reach six tails in almost a millenia." Shippo puffs his chest.
"That's amazing, honey! How do you get more tails? Is it possible to get more tails? How many tails can you get total?" she rapid fires questions at him.
"Same way I got the others, but the school only goes up to six tails. I'll have to earn the other 3 on my own. Nine's the max." he answers easily, used to her after a century and a half.
"Congratulations, kit. Have you shown the rest of the pack yet?" Sesshoumaru drawls, small smile on his face as he watches their two children vibrate in excitement.
"Nope, wanted to show Mama first. Rin just found me as I was on my way over. Gunna go show them now though, if you wanna come. Gran's gunna be thrilled."
"You know I despise that nickname, child." comes the Lady Mother's musical voice.
"Gran! Look!" Shippo launches himself to stand before the silver inu.
"Very impressive, little one. And, so young! Oh, I can not wait to teach you more tricks now that you will be with us for longer." Her eye catches her sons as he scowls, tugging his mate to press back against his chest, making Kagome giggle.
"Kouga should be getting back tomorrow. He's gunna be so proud of you, baby." Kagome smiles at her not so little kit, her own pride being mirrored by her mates. He may scowl and grumble outwardly, but he loves the kit the same as he adores Rin, and is immensely proud of the accomplishments of his pack.
"Come, let us have a feast, and you may tell us of your tricks that earned your sixth tail." Sesshoumaru calls to the group, shifting to lead them all to the pack wing.
Kagome sits at her desk, reading a report about a raid on a village not even a days walk from the Shiro, her brows furrowing, when a light prod with a finger against her forehead draws her attention to her mate before her.
"What is causing this face?" he asks softly.
"I don't know if it's the Southern Lord or just a coincidence, but there's been more and more raids on villages, getting progressively closer to the Shiro. This one from a few days ago was barely a days walk away." she discloses to her mate, his own expression now mirroring her own.
"Hn, I see." he shifts to sit next to her and listen to her verbalize her worries.
"Yeah. The guards we've sent out are helping, but the villages are still being attacked. Again, I don't know if it's part of the plot, or just a sign of the times. With humans invading more and more youkai lands, and displacing them, their desperation grows, and resort to essentially banditry to survive. The refugees we're getting in the nearby villages are starting to overflow. Kouga's been taking in any wolves he finds, and now, even kitsunes and inus, just because there's nowhere else for them to go. He made a joke about letting in neko's next, but at this rate, it might turn into reality." Kagome tells him, letting all her thoughts out about the matter. "I just don't know what to do anymore. There's not enough room for everyone to live comfortably, which is what leads to acts like this, even without some pissed off lord stirring up discontent." she sighs, crossing her arms on her desk and laying her forehead on them. "I'm just tired, Sess."
Sesshoumaru's hand rubs circles on her back, staring at the wall across from them as he thinks of what she's said, what he's read in reports, what his own people are telling him and what he knows of the future.
"We have been in contact with kitsune leashes and the school, inquiring about illusion charms to allow youkai to blend in with humans, and many have agreed to work with us to create a stock large enough to supply all youkai kind. As for the raids, we are doing the most that we can. If you would like, we can establish a village or two just outside the Shiro and offer it to refugees to make their homes." he offers, turning to look at his worried mate, seeing her peek up at him from where her head rests on her arms.
"Could we?" she whispers.
He nods, "There is no reason we can not. I will send out missives requesting a few carpenters, preferably from refugees, to work on building homes to start with, and then allow them to grow as they will. They will be relegated to a certain distance from the Shiro, for securities sake, but it will provide homes and opportunities for some."
"Thank you." she murmurs, before sighing and lifting herself from her slump to lean against him. "I'm glad I'm in a position with you to help people through our influence, but man, does it suck sometimes ruling over lands and people." she huffs a humourless chuckle.
"Hn. And, yet, so many wish for the title and responsibility." he jokes.
"Only cuz they're idiots." she smirks.
"Speaking of, he wants to talk to you again. It was why I came to find you." Sesshoumaru says, tone becoming cold.
"Great. Well, Kouga's back today, so let's go find him. I'm not seeing him without you two with me, same deal as last time." She stands grumpily, making her mate chuckle at her as they make their way to find their wolf brother.
Two hours later, the three of them sit at the head of the table again, barriers on the two males and wait for InuYasha to enter the room. Their whispered conversation ends when a knock sounds at the door, opening upon Kagomes call to enter. She looks at the hanyou, then points to the end of the table.
"Same deal as last time. Civil tongue, stay seated. What do you want this time?" Kagome says flatly, too tired to put ire into her words, and just wanting this done with. She has more important things to do than deal with an idiot who hasn't learned his lesson.
"I'd like to, but I'm not going to apologize because there's no point. There's not enough words to tell you how sorry I am for every awful thing I said to you, every horrible name I called you, every toxic word I dripped in your ear. I don't have an excuse, because there is none. I don't even really have a reason, other than I was a selfish asshole who wanted you beneath me. And, when I realized you never would be, the day with the snake, I ran. I didn't care about what that might do to you, or even the others, I only cared that you were more powerful than I was and eventually, you would get fed up for good, not just for a moment, and I'd end up hurt and alone anyways."
"When I came here and saw you again, and smelled the wolf on you, I don't know why I did it, I didn't even want to do it, really, it just... happened. You could have killed me, a hundred different ways, without even touching me, and you let me go with basically a sunburn, and still let me have the opportunity to belong somewhere. And then, I had to go and push that too, because I was a fucking idiot, and just couldn't stand to see you living the life that I'd wanted. That I turned down for my own pride because I refused to live under my brother, for no reason other than, again, I was an idiot"
"I did feel guilty when I left, though, admittedly, not as much as I should have. Otherwise, it wouldn't have taken me a century to realize that you weren't even in Edo anymore. So, I'm sorry, whether you want to accept it or not, that's fine but I need to say it, because you deserve to hear it. Not because I deserve to be forgiven, because I don't. I don't deserve any of the good things you've given me. Not back then, and certainly not in the last fifty years. You guys were right to banish me to the barracks, you were right to strip me of Tetsusaiga, you were right to make me watch you spar and realize that my shitty attitude was what was holding me back. And, you're right that I shouldn't be forgiven."
He goes silent, finished with his speech, his eyes locked to the table before him, his ears pinned flat against his head. Kagome leans back, her own eyes on the table in front of her. She feels a hand from both companions reach for hers, squeezing gently, imparting their silent support.
"Kagome, you do not need to answer him now."
I know. She sighs quietly, her eyes lifting to look at her one time friend. His white hair is pulled back in a high tail, his ears nearly tucking themselves into his hair. His arms are crossed over his western soldier's uniforn, a sword tied to his obi. The large silver ring to seal his blood stands out on his right hand. I can't answer him now. She shakes her head and stands slowly, her two companions rising as well behind their barrier.
"I've heard what you've said. I need to think on it before I say anything else. The guards will escort you back and I will summon you when I've decided on how to respond, if I do." Kagome states quietly before padding from the room, feeling his eyes on her back, and the hands of her two invisible packmates on her shoulders.
They walk in silence to the study, just as last time, fifty two years ago. This time though, Sesshoumaru scoops Kagome up and keeps her in his lap as he sits at his desk, Kouga settling before them, lightly scratching at the crescent moon mark on his wrist, his brows furrowing as he thinks over what he just heard.
"What station is he at now?" Kagome asks quietly.
"He is a lieutenant now, though he is up for promotion to captain." Sesshoumaru replies, nodding to Kouga to get the sake and pour.
"So, he did learn the lesson we wanted him to."
"It seems so. I am not much involved in the lower rank promotions, I usually only deal with promotions to general if there is someone worthy of it. Otherwise, I trust my generals to promote competent people to captains and lieutenants. Haruto has not given me any reason to doubt the decision of the captains to promote InuYasha." Sesshoumaru imparts upon them both. He accepts a cup of sake that Kouga offers, Kagomes being placed on the desk in front of her.
"Okay." she replies lightly, going quiet again for a while, everyone letting her think as they nurse their drinks. After nearly an hour, she finally speaks up again. "What do you two think?"
Kouga snorts quietly. "Gotta say, wasn't expecting him to actually own up to his fuck ups."
"Indeed. It was surprising." Sesshoumaru drawls.
"Yeah, it was, but what do you guys think about it. I know you both far too well to ever assume that neither of you have opinions on the matter. So, tell me." Kagome implores softly.
Kouga shifts to prop a leg up and drape his arm over it, looking down at his empty cup of sake. Sighing, he looks back up to his best friend. "Honestly, I'm not sure. If I hadn't had a first hand experience with what he did to you, way back when and when he showed up again, I'd say he was worth forgiving just to get it off your own chest. Hell, it may still be worth it, as it would free you from the guilt I know you still carry around that you didn't give him another chance, deserving or not. Kags, I love you, and that idiot really fucked you up. For a long time. You're still carrying some deep ass scars from it. And it makes it hard for me to not still want to beat the absolute shit out of him. But. At some point, we need to let it all go. If this is the opportunity to do it, then so be it, but only do it because it's right for you." Kouga reaches across the desk, grabbing her hand and squeezing gently, keeping a hold of it.
"The wolf is correct. What he deserves does not matter. What matters is do you want to let it go and, to use one of your strange phrases, close the book on him, or not. Whatever you decide to do, neither of us will fault you either way. Our feelings on the subject are our own, and do not dictate nor are dictated by what you do or how you feel. Make the choice to benefit yourself, and no one else." Sesshoumaru affirms, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.
"Strangely, both very helpful and yet, not at all, guys. But, thanks. I'll sleep on it for a few nights and decide what to do about it after mulling it around." Kagome lets out a deep breath, squeezing Kouga's hand and grabbing one of Sesshoumaru's to do the same. "Now, how's the pack doing? You let in any neko's yet?" she teases the wolf, making both canines scoff, and a lilting laugh escapes the little miko.
"So, what's this I hear about you guys trying for a pup?" Kouga says as he sits next to Kagome in the garden, finally catching her alone.
Leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder, she chuckles softly. "Just what it sounds like, though we only came to the decision a few weeks ago. And, we're not even really trying, just letting things happen if they happen." she shrugs lightly.
"Mm, well, I wish you both luck. You're both good parents and deserve every happiness. Can't say I'm not a little jealous, but hey. My time'll come at some point." He smirks, nudging her lightly.
"One day, you're gunna meet someone, and the thought of them is going to set you so off kilter, you'll never be sure you're balanced again if you're not with them. Though, having the mate bond definitely helps with not being forced to attach at the hip." she giggles.
"Yeah, I bet. Is he nearly as grumpy as he appears to be?" he whispers conspiritorily to her.
"I can't tell you that." she whispers back, smiling. "You know him well enough though, you can probably guess."
"You're right. He's certainly entirely different with the pack than in public, and even more when he thinks no one's watching him with you." A raucous fully bellied laugh escapes the wolf, sending the miko into her own fit of giggles.
"You're right. He is. Though, he wouldn't appreciate attention being drawn to it." Kouga nods, and they lapse into a calm quiet, watching butterflies and birds flit about the garden. After a while, Kouga can't contain his curiosity any longer.
"Have you thought about what to do with him since last week?" he inquires gently.
"I have. A lot. For what it will mean for me, for the pack, for Sess." She stops and takes a deep breath, watching a bee bumble into a flower. "He won't say it, but he wants to know his brother. Not that he's not capable or allowed to do so, but you know how he is. If it has the potential to upset someone in his pack, he won't do it, even if he wants to, unless he has no choice. It's why he ignored how he felt about me for so long, he didn't want to upset us by what he thought was forcing his own feelings into a relationship that worked. It's why he let me have Shippo in the beginning, even though it drove him up the walls, because it made Rin and I happy. And, why he let's his mother stay here with us most of the year, though she has grown on him, as has Shippo over the past century or so. I'm rambling now, though." She takes another breath before continuing.
"He wants to know his brother, because it's his brother. It's the last tie he has to his father. But, he won't say it, or even let himself think it, because he knows you, Shippo, and most of all, I, all have issues with him that we haven't gotten over. He's a good Alpha, just like you. So, I'm going to forgive InuYasha. It's been long enough, and I'm not even really angry anymore, just tired. I want it to be over and done with so it stops hanging over me. Forgiving him doesn't mean I need to be friends with him again, but I can be civil, and Sesshoumaru can have the chance to get to know him." Kagome sighs, laying back on the ground to stare up at the sky and watch the clouds drift past.
"I agree with everything you said. I definitely think he has the same difficulties that I do sometimes, balancing his own wants and needs with those of his pack, and then even worse than mine, with the needs of his entire kingdoms. And, I agree that he's a good Alpha. He's the only one I've never chafed against, even in the beginning. It's why I was willing to swear fealty to him." Kouga says, idly itching the mark on his wrist again. "There were several in my pack that were very against the idea of their Alpha swearing fealty to someone else, placing myself under another Alpha. But, Sesshoumaru has never once given me reason to think he would abuse the power, or ever put me in a position, that wasn't of a necessity, that would put me at odds with my pack." Kouga stops for a moment to gather his thoughts again.
"I think in terms of the whole pack, forgiving the dumbass is the smartest move, but as I told you then, it's not about what's good for the pack. It's about what's good for you. The pack is perfectly capable of going and connecting with him on their own, if we really wanted to. We just haven't thus far because he wasn't worth knowing. He seems to have matured, but that doesn't mean he requires you to do anything." Kouga finishes, turning to look at the miko lying next to him.
"I know." Kagome sighs again and closes her eyes. "I keep remembering something my mom told me once. Something she read when she was in school from some important Christian leader. 'To err is human, to forgive is divine.' See, you know my dad died when I was little. He got hit by a car. A drunk driver. I didn't find out about the drunk driver part until I was about 12. Before, it was just a tragic accident. One day my dad was there, the next he wasn't. When I found out why he died, I got really, really angry. One of the angriest I've ever been. I couldn't understand why someone would do that, knowing the statistics of killing someone were so high. What could have been so important that they had to put every single person on the road in danger."
"I got violent, breaking things because I could, because it gave me a momentary outlet for the rage I was feeling. After smashing an old vase that had been passed down my line for six or so generations, my mother sat me down and asked me why I was so mad. And, I broke down. Badly. My mother made me read this letter the Christian leader had written- actually I think he's pope right about now... Anyways, she had me read the letter, and it talks about how forgiving someone, truly forgiving them, is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Because you're forcing yourself to let go of your own negative feelings towards them. Releasing it all into the aether and refusing to allow it to have any hold over you. And it's hard because it's so much easier to sit and seethe and wish harm on someone, especially when they've hurt you. It's why I was always forgiving him and everyone in the beginning, because after that incident, I didn't want to be that angry again. I never wanted to feel that out of control because of something someone did to me in the past. And, I've kinda forgotten the lesson over the years, because nothing's really happened to me since him, and it's not something I had to deal with for a long time. It was easy to ignore when he wasn't there, wasn't something I had to face. I got to hide my head in the sand and pretend nothing was wrong."
"So, I think it's time I forgive him, and release myself from all of this muck. I think I'd already started to before, and now I'm just consciously coming to the realization and decision. 'To err is human, to forgive is divine.' Time to let go of his mistakes and stop letting them affect my life." Kagome looks up at her friend, and seeing her mate standing to the side, looking up at the clouds as well, obviously having heard her whole monologue, if not the conversation leading up to it. How much did you hear?
"Enough."
So, all of it.
"Hn. I didn't not realize it was what I wanted until I heard you say it. I am sorry if I have made you feel guilty for it."
You haven't. And, while it's related, it's not my reason for forgiving him, as I just explained.
"Hn." Sesshoumaru strides across the garden to sit on her other side, leaning against a boulder.
"I'd like to meet your mom someday." Kouga says suddenly, making Kagome bubble with laughter.
"All of that, and that's what you have to say?" she teases.
"Well, yeah. Not much I can say in response that isn't repeating what we've both already said. But, your mom sounds like a good woman. Has to be to have raised you. So, I'd like to meet her. Thank her." he shrugs, and Sesshoumaru hums in agreement.
"Well, barring any catastrophe's, you'll both get to. Only about 300 years left." They all chuckle lightly, each thinking how lucky they were to have met each other and become family.
Kagome sits at the table again, this time without the barrier on Kouga and Sesshoumaru, and faces InuYasha, who is clearly uncomfortable with the two other males in the room, his ears tilted back slightly.
"They're not going to do anything. They're here for me." Kagome says quietly, watching one of the hanyous ears flick forward a bit, making her smile. As angry as she had been, she did miss how entertaining his ears are.
"I wanted to start this by saying I've thought a lot about what you said. I haven't stopped thinking about it over this past week, really. None of us have. And, honestly, I'm just tired of it all. I'm tired of being angry and bitter and upset. So, I'm letting it go. I forgive you. Whatever reasons you had, petty or not, doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't mean I'm going to go back to being your friend again, but it needs to be said, just like your apology did. Deserving or otherwise, it's better for everyone to let it all go, learn from the lessons it taught us and move on, being wiser in the future." She gives a soft smile, leaning back in her seat.
InuYasha sits, dumbstruck, across the table, his eyes shifting from each person, unsure what to say. It's Sesshoumaru who speaks first.
"My offer from a century and a half ago still stands, little brother. Though, now you will have to work a little harder to prove yourself to my pack." he tells him quietly. "I would like to know you, however. If you wish it as well." Kagome can feel his trepidation, hope, sorrow and fear tangle itself through the bond. She reaches out a hand and entwines his fingers wth her own, and feeling him grip her hand tightly, trying not to show just how much he wants his brother to answer positively. She turns her gaze back to the hanyou across from them, watching him watch his brother, brows furrowed slightly, ears flicking back and forth as he thinks.
Several minutes pass as they all wait for an answer, her mate's emotions becoming more and more dour and upset. She pulls his hand into her lap and clutches at it with both hands, trying to give him as much comfort as she can, pushing her own love and admiration for him to him. She can feel Kouga's hand land on her knee, offering his own support in the only silent way he can.
Even if he says no now, it doesn't mean it's forever. You'll still have Kouga and I, and the rest of the pack.
"I know. I did not realize how much I wanted this until you mentioned it yesterday."
It'll be okay, koi. You'll see.
"What would getting to know you mean?" comes a quiet yet gruff voice, making the three pack members attention snap to the hanyou.
"I merely wish to know you, speak with you, learn of you. Have you learn of me." Sesshoumaru answers, his tone wavering slightly as he struggles to control his emotions with the depth of his desire to know his only sibling.
"I... think... I'd like to try. I can't promise we'll get along, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious." InuYasha declares, voice still soft. Kagome's bond is suddenly flooded with hope and relief. Sesshoumaru nods once, before standing to leave the room, having dealt with enough overwhelming emotions for the day.
"I will be in the study when you are done, koi."
Okay, see you in a bit. Love you.
"Thank you, InuYasha. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Kagome inquires.
"Is he alright?" he asks, his head nodding towards the door.
"He will be. He'll come find you when he's ready." She smiles lightly.
"I owe him several apologies, too. I'm surprised he wants anything to do with me after some of the shit I did and said to him. I owe you a few as well, Kouga."
"Nah, don't stress it. It's in the past. You were a different person, different reasons for doing things." Kouga shrugs easily. "I won't say you weren't an absolute asshole, but no point in hanging onto it after this long." InuYasha nods solemnly, casting his eyes to the door again.
"He wanted that after the jewel as well, didn't he?" he queries.
"Yeah. He did." Kagome lets out a deep breath, catching Kouga's eye briefly. "Like, I said, he'll come find you when he's ready. I know you liked to call him the Ice Prince, but..." she trails off, not sure how to tell her mates half brother that the person he'd built up in his head was not the reality of the inu lord.
"It's not who he is. I know. I've always know, really. I just didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see a lot of things and made everyone around me miserable in order to keep up the delusions I had built. I know he didn't really hate me specifically, I was just a physical embodiment of it all." His voice is sad and quiet, the weight of all the wrongs done to him and that he did to others weighing him down.
"His offer then was, in a way, an apology. And, I'm not gunna tell you he'll say it now, or ever, really. He's not the Ice Prince, as you called him, but he's still not very verbose most of the time. But, he'll show you. He speaks through actions, so just... Give him time, and assurances." Kagome murmurs, slowly rising herself, Kouga following. "I'm glad we had this talk, and I guess I'll see you around. Oh, and congratulations on Captain, InuYasha. I've heard good things." With a final smile, she and Kouga left to find her mate.
"Kags? Have you seen Breno? Looking for him to brush up on the languages." Kouga turns the corner of the garden path, finding Sesshoumaru instead. "Ah, Sesshoumaru, sorry, didn't realize you were here."
"Hn. Kagome has gone with Kimiko to her castle with the pups for a few days."
"And, left you alone?" Kouga chuckles.
"We are still able to communicate with each other. The bond is strong. However, she felt it was a good chance for me to spend time with InuYasha, without 'feeling guilty about it', as she says." Sesshoumaru's lips quirk a tiny bit.
"Ah, well, she's right. You've been avoiding it because you don't want to feel like you're taking sides, even though there aren't any sides to take." Kouga shrugs as he leans against a nearby wall.
"Hn, perhaps you are both correct, in part. I am perhaps also still angry over his treatment of Kagome and while I do wish to know my only brother, it is hard sometimes to overcome the rage." Sesshoumaru divulges honestly to his long time friend.
Kouga nods, looking out over the grounds, cocking his head to the side. "Yeah, I get that." He stops, pursing his lips a bit, eyes narrowing as an idea comes to him. "Perhaps, you should offer to spar with him. Hand to hand, no maiming or killing, just... Work out some aggression." The wolf shrugs again.
Sesshoumaru presses his lips in a grim line, eyes trailing up to look at the clouds. "Perhaps."
"Well, it's not like you're a chatty guy to folks outside of me and Kags. So, you need some closure for your own regrets of the past, and anger over Kagome's treatment, so... Beat on him a bit. He's got his own issues with you he likely has to beat on you to get over. And then, you can both 'close the book' and move on. But, neither of you are going to get anywhere if you keep avoiding each other and the chasm of shit between you."
"Hn. Kagome agrees with you."
"That's creepy, man." Kouga shudders lightly, before smirking as the inu chuckles.
Inside the dojo, the inu lord sits against the wall in only his hakamas as his hanyou brother lays on his back on the floor, panting, also only in his pants, having shed his uniform haori sometimes during the brawl.
"I'm sorry… for everything… It's a…. lame apology… I know… but I am…" InuYasha forces out between heaving breaths.
"Hn. I as well." Sesshoumaru professes, closing his eyes and feeling his mates love and happiness radiate through him, grounding him.
"I was a... A shithead... And deserved... A lot of it..." the hanyou continues, his own eyes closing in exhaustion. He hadn't had to fight that hard in a long time, and good Kami was his brother a beast, even when he wasn't trying to kill him. "I think... I'd like... To do this... More often…"
"Hn. That can be arranged." the elder inu replies, earning a huff of a chuckle.
After several minutes of catching their breath, InuYasha sits up, leaning back on his hands. "So. You and Kagome, huh? How'd that happen?"
"Very slowly, and then all at once." A ghost of a smile appears on the daiyoukais face.
"Not surprising. She was sleeping with the wolf though, wasn't she? I didn't misunderstand that smell?"
"No, you did not. She was for a time."
"And…. that doesn't upset you?"
"No. He is pack. They had a mutual arrangement with each other that was not my business. I will not lie that I was not envious towards the end, once I realized the depth of my own desires for her, but she is her own being. I do not wish to say much more, as it is her place to divulge the details of her life. But, no, it does not upset me. Kouga was then, and is now, a close friend. I certainly do not begrudge him for taking the opportunity presented."
"Hm. Gotcha. And, it's not weird with you guys?" InuYasha queries. None of his questions have been asked with any sort of malice or judgement, just honest curiosity into the strange dynamic between the three of them.
"Again, no. We are close with one another, and have been for many decades. In fact, I owe him for my having Kagome now. He is far more shrewd than most give him credit for. He is the one who realized my desires for her, and informed her, which led to the conversation that in turn led to us courting." This time a full smile blooms on the usually stoic lords face.
"Huh. Wow. So, what else have you all been doing since Naraku?"
"Many things. I do not feel it is my place to share too much of their lives, however, of the more notable accomplishments…" Sesshoumaru tilts his head, thinking. "Shippo has completed his schooling with the Kitsune Academy and earned his sixth tail."
"Damn, ain't that kinda young?" InuYasha's eyes widen in shock.
"He is the youngest in almost a millenia, yes. Kouga and his pack have moved from their former caves onto the Western Lands. They have sworn fealty to the House of the Moon. My mother has moved back to the Shiro, spending most of the year here. That is due to Kagome. Though, so is everything else, truth be told." Then, Sesshoumaru chuckles, startling his brother slightly. "She forced us to find someone to teach us other languages and would not relent until we were all fluent in them. Kouga is still trying to catch up, as he was not able to be here for more than a few weeks at a time for many years."
"What languages?"
"Dutch, Portuguese and English. Though, we have all learned a few others on our own. My mother is currently teaching the rest of the pack Mandarin."
"What languages did you pick for yourself?" InuYasha's head tilted, his ears pricked all the way forward, learning more about his brother in the ten minutes they've been talking now than he had in the entire three and a half centuries he'd been alive.
"Kagome and I wished to learn Spanish, Arabic and French. She also wanted to learn Latin, but as it's no longer used, it was decided it wasn't necessary to learn it on top of all of the others."
"And you're all fluent, you said?" the hanyou having a hard time believing that they all learned half a dozen languages and could speak it as if it was their own native tongue.
"Indeed." Sesshoumaru nods, turning his head to look at his brother.
"You know six languages, not including Japanese, as good your own native tongue?"
"Technically, I know eight languages, not including Japanese, now."
"Eight? What are the other two?"
"Mandarin and Ancient Youkai."
"That's insane, man." InuYasha tells him, awe clear in his voice.
"If you would like, you are welcome to learn as well. Breno enjoys teaching and knows many languages." the elder Inu offers easily, hoping his brother will take the opportunity.
"I… maybe." the hanyou's head cocks to the side as he thinks on it. "You know what, sure. Why not. I dunno how good I'll be at it, but fuck it. When else will I have the chance to do it. I assume Kagome chose the first three because they're going to be important sometime soon, right?"
Sesshoumaru gives a single nod, "Indeed. Starting in the next century, ships from the far west are going to bring white men, and she doesn't want us being caught out of our depth. We are already feeling that way aleady, without foreign human invaders." A dark scowl crosses the inu lords face then.
"What do you mean? This have something to do with the raids?"
"Hn. They are happening more and more frequently, and we are running out of options for the refugees. We are having a couple of villages built nearby to give some of them a home, but if the trend continues, they will be overwhelmed within the next five years. And, humans encroaching exacerbates the problem." Sesshoumaru leans his head back against the wall behind him, his eyes closing.
"Kagome's told you about her time, right?"
"There are no demons, yes. Neither of us fully believe that, though. We have been working on illusion charms that hide physical, as well as spiritual traits and have been successful so far. The problem is supply for the demand we will have. They only need to be enchanted once and should work indefinitely, so long as the item itself is not damaged, however, there are still thousands of youkai."
InuYasha hums, thinking as he lays back on the floor, folding his arms behind his head. "And, the other Cardinal lands?"
"They are all in the same position as we. Humans encroach, displacing youkai, who then flee to other villages, straining resources, which causes some to then turn to banditry, raiding villages, which then causes youkai to flee to other villages, and the cycle continues. Kouga's pack is no longer just wolves. There are kitsune and inu as well, which are putting a strain on his territory." Sesshoumaru sighs loudly, thudding his head lightly behind him in his frustration. "We are at a loss at how to combat the problem. And, this is without the added stress of a century old plot against the West to destablize it, be it through attacks against the pack, or by discontent through rumours."
"Man, I don't envy you. I think my head would have exploded if I had to deal with all of that." InuYasha snorts.
"Sometimes it feels like it." A soft huff escapes Sesshoumaru. Taking a deep breath, he looks to his brother again, feeling a lightness that has never been there between the two. He opens his mouth to say so when his bond shrieks with terror suddenly. Bolting up, he closes his eyes and mentally grabs the bonds tightly.
"Kagome!"
I'm fine! We're all fine. The barriers saved us. We're fine.
"Sesshoumaru? What's wrong?"
"What happened?"
We were travelling back from the Castle when something tried to shoot us out of the sky. Kimiko hit the ground hard, and her legs a bit messed up, but she'll be fine once I can work on her. The kids are fine, Rin's telling Matsu the same thing.
"What attacked you? How far away are you from the Shiro?" Sesshoumaru snatches his clothing and throws them on quickly, InuYasha still staring wide eyed, following suit. Flaring his aura sharply, Sesshoumaru calls for Kouga and starts running towards the gates.
"Sesshoumaru? The fuck happened? Talk to me."
"Pack attacked." Sesshoumaru growls out, his eyes blood red now.
"Fuck." Kouga spits as he meets them at the gate.
"Kagome?! Who attacked you?!"
Sorry, Sess, bit buy. Getting attacked now. We're a few minutes from the Shiro, The packs in their barriers, they're safe.
"Who is attacking you?"
I don't know, youkai, half a dozen. Got a barrier over the area so they can't escape, keeping them busy so they don't try anything, like killing themselves. Hurry up and get here.
Sesshoumaru's youki explodes out from him, his form shifting quickly, earning curses from the two following him.
"Grab onto him, quick, or we'll get left behind!" Kouga shouts to InuYasha, who jumps up and grabs onto the mane of fur at the inu lords shoulders, Kouga landing next to him. "You know anything?"
"Nope, we were talking after sparring, and then he stood up suddenly and ran to the gates."
"Fuck. Well, Kagome can't die, and the pack's all got those necklaces. We just gotta get there before whoever attacked them get away." Suddenly Sesshoumaru lunges, and the two on top of him smack into something invisible, falling to the ground.
"Ow. What the fuck was that?"
"Kagome's barrier. Fuck. We're stuck out here until she lets it down. Only she and Sesshoumaru can get through them. Dammit." Kouga tells him, looking around them.
A roar echoes through the forest, shaking the ground.
"Oh good, he's here. Means I can end this." Kagome smirks, ripping off the restraints on her reiki and letting her aura lock them all in place, burning through any spells they might be hiding on them. Turning when she feels the vibrations on the ground she calls out to her mate. "Sess! Oh, Kami." Sess, you need to shift back. I need you rational. Please, koi.
His massive nose pushes into her stomach, scenting if she was hurt, before a low whine is escapes her 60 foot mate. I'm fine. But, I need your help, and I need you in your human form. Another whine escapes as his tongue swipes up her front, before his youki flares lightly and coils back as his humanoid form steps towards her, burying his nose in her hair.
"Sess, I'm fine, really. I need you to check the others. They're alive, but I don't know how badly they're actually hurt, I didn't have time to check thoroughly."
"You told me they were fine." he accuses.
"As far as I know, they are. Didn't lie, just omitted because I didn't have time. I'm sorry, I am, but check them, please. No one's bleeding out, but that doesn't rule out possible internal shit. I gotta make sure these idiots dont have any surprises on them, and then we can drag everyone back to the Shiro. Got it?" Kagome's tone shifts, demanding his compliance. He locks his golden eyes with her cobalt ones for a moment, before nodding once and moving to his mother and pups. Kagome lets out a breath and walks towards their attackers, running her reiki over each of them to strip any remaining magics and then summoning ropes and gags from her reiki tying them all up together.
She spreads out her aura to check if there are any others hiding, finding no one save for Kouga and InuYasha on the outside of her large barrier. "Shit." she mutters, dropping the large barrier, and whistling a series of notes, telling Kouga from the distance that she has prisoners and will need help transporting them. She can feel her mates fury through her bond, as well the underlying fear, knowing she's in for a long conversation with her mate later. She sends her own appreciation, relief and love to him, getting a flicker of love from him in return, and lets out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
Stepping up to her pack mates, she releases all the barriers and begins examining them. Kimiko's leg is twisted badly, her tibia broken, but no other injuries other than some minor bruising. Rin has a cut that needs healing, which takes her but a moment to do. Shippo avoided anything more than superficial scratches.
Turning back to Kimiko, she looks into her eyes. "This is going to hurt, I'm so sorry." Kagome says quietly, before an audible snick is heard as the miko snaps the bone back into place, causing the silver inu to cry out momentarily, before biting her lip hard. Kagome places her glowing hand above the leg and begins the healing process, looking over her shoulder to see Kouga and InuYasha grabbing two of the attackers each and slinging them over their shoulders, then running back towards the Shiro, leaving one more would be assassin left to escort. Sesshoumaru makes his way to the downed youkai and throws him over his shoulder, turning to his pack again.
"I'll take Rin back, Matsu's panicking." Shippo volunteers, lifting the girl up and sprinting off himself. Just as he leaves, Kimiko's leg finishes healing.
"She won't be able to run for a while." Kagome tells them. "I can run ba-"
"No, I will fly us." Sesshoumaru snaps, his mask firmly in place, eyes and voice cold. Kagome just nods, helping Kimiko stand before Sesshoumaru summons a cloud under all three of them and they take off to the Shiro.
Upon entering the gate, the inu lord drops his captive with the other four, then stalks off into their home. Kagome sighs, closing her eyes briefly before turning to check her pack one last time. Her mate can wait a few minutes for her to make sure that she didn't miss any injuries.
Kouga shoots her a look of empathy, he knows how livid Sesshoumaru is, and does not envy the little miko the job of having to calm him down. Confirming no one has anything that needs healing, she turns to InuYasha. "Thank you for coming and helping."
"Sure thing, Kags. Never seen him that upset before. He looked downright terrified." the hanyou states, ears flicking back a bit.
"Fuck." She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "Great. Right. I gotta go deal with him. I'll see you guys later." She turns and jogs into the house, following her bond towards their room.
As soon as she slides the door closed behind her, she finds herself smothered by a wall of white and silver. Her bond is echoing with fear and anger as he crushes her to his chest. She wraps her arms around his waist and breathes in his scent, staying like that for a long time until he slowly pulls back, his emotions no longer trying to overwhelm her.
"Why did you lie?" he asks flatly, voice quiet.
"Sess, I didn't lie." She sighs heavily. "I had barely thirty seconds to check them and make sure no one was outright dying before they were coming at us again. I knew if they realized they couldn't get into the barriers, they'd disappear and we'd lose a possible lead." The miko sags against him, so damned tired and just wanting to curl up and sleep. Her mate remains silent and tense, however.
"When you asked me, they were fine. And, then I was busy. Nothing internal was going to kill them in the time it took you to get to me, so I had time to heal them. I'm sorry. I did what I thought was best in the situation I was in." She waits again, her nose still pressed to his chest.
"Miko." he says, making her wince, sorrow flowing through her. Stuffing down the feeling, knowing in her state of exhaustion, it won't take much for her to start crying, and she doesn't want to do that right now, not when this is important. Pushing back from him, she walks to her wardrobe, shedding her clothing and pulling out a thin sleeping yukuta. Once changed, she walks to the bed and sits down, looking at her lap, taking deep even breaths.
"Miko." he repeats, and she ignores it. It might be petty, but she's not going to respond to a title, not from her mate, and he should know that. She scoots back to sit at the head of the bed, leaning on the headboard, eyes still to her lap. She watches from her peripheral as his hands clench, feeling his irritation ripple through their bond.
"Miko." he growls, and she sighs, forcing another wave of sadness down. She refuses to cry, not when they need to talk, but she will not bow to his demands if he is not going to address her as he should. He snarls and whirls away from her to stand by the door to the veranda, and she leans her head back to close her eyes and keep waiting.
After a few minutes, he turns back to her, seeing her face, how sad she looks, and it hits him suddenly, why she's ignoring him. "Kagome."
"Oh, so you do know my name. Yes, Sesshoumaru." she replies, not moving or opening her eyes. He forces his anger down again, knowing it won't help, but fuck if she doesn't know just what to say to incite his temper.
"Kagome, look at me, please." And, she does, her eyes showing how upset and exhausted she is.
"Are you ready to listen?" she asks quietly. He nods once, stepping towards the bed again.
"I didn't lie. I understand why you're upset that I didn't disclose the entire truth, but you have to understand, and you should understand, that I was fighting five assassins, trying to keep them alive and distracted so that you could get there. Yes, I could have made different decisions, and with hindsight, I can see each one that may have been a better choice. But, I didn't have hindsight while I was in the moment. I checked the pack to make sure they were stable enough for me to leave them, and made the decision that keeping the attackers there was more important than giving you a blow by blow account while I was concentrating. In your position, I would have been scared, too. Hell, I was scared, I'm sure you felt it. But, during combat is not the time to feel it." Kagome explains, trying desperately to keep her voice even and shove her emotions aside until after, but her adrenaline is wearing off and it's making everything so much more potent.
"I understand." Those two words wreck all of her attempts against crying, and the dam breaks, her eyes slamming shut. She feels his arms wrap around her and his nose against her neck.
"I'm sorry I scared you." she whispers, voice thick.
"I am sorry I lashed out at you. You should not have been the outlet for my own overwhelming fear and anger." he murmurs, nuzzling her mark. "Kami, Kagome, for a moment, I thought I'd lost you." His arms wrap around her tighter.
"For a moment, I thought you were going to lose me, too. Which is silly, since we know I can't die." She chokes out a broken chuckle, her nails digging into his shoulders as she clutches at him, tears still flowing down her face.
"Promise me, next time, you will keep me better informed."
"I can promise I'll try, but I won't make a liar of myself if a situation occurs where I can't, Sess." She feels him nod against her neck, and smiles softly. "Aishiteru, Sess."
"Aishiteru, little mate."