"We are the K'Terrans," said the voice that had echoed on Voyager's Bridge, as three aliens with eye stalks and a marine appearance appeared in Transporter Room 2, "We do not give our single names to others," the female alien finished warmly, seeming to smile with two mouths that were on top of each other.
"Welcome to Voyager, I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. And this is Commander Chakotay."
Chakotay nodded at them and smiled, "Welcome to Voyager."
"Oh," said the dismayed voice of the green alien, apparently the leader, "We discern you are still a lower species."
"I'm sure," said Captain Janeway congenially, "But that doesn't mean we can't benefit each other."
The green alien turned to the turquoise and blue aliens standing slightly behind her and they exchanged a glance, "Well, we can't blame you," said the green alien again, in a kind voice, "We used to also be this way," she said ritualistically, "1,000."
"2,000," spoke the turquoise colored alien.
"3,000," came the voice of the last alien, who was blue with white spots on her head.
"Years ago," they all spoke together, shuddering at the end, and looking, perhaps, disgusted.
"What do you mean by that?" said Chakotay kindly, moving to stand next to Janeway.
There was a high pitched squeal from all three of the aliens and then their voices turned inaudible.
"No, no, no," said the green alien finally in a shriek, "It shall not speak again! We hear it! We hear it! It is a…"
The aliens shuddered again.
Janeway and Chakotay shared a look.
"Why do you object to Commander Chakotay?" said Janeway evenly.
"It's a…" the aliens all looked at each other, and the green alien lowered her voice, "Male," said the alien in a pure disgusted whisper, leaning forward as if sharing a secret.
"We understand….," said the alien formally, pulling back, "That you may still have them for…reasons," she said, the corners of her four lips turning down.
Her voice became louder, "But to expose us to their voices! Their presence!"
The lead alien seemed to try to comfort herself, and both of the other aliens made a sort of humming vibration, which Janeway took as a sign of support for their overwhelmed leader.
Janeway looked at Tuvok, who nodded at her, and she made her decision, "Well," said Janeway, in her full leader voice, "I'll have the head women on this ship meet with you. Our Briefing Room is this way."
Janeway led the way to her Briefing Room, and neither Tuvok or Chakotay said a word as she ordered Tuvok to stand sentry in front of the room.
She let the aliens enter the room first and hung back for a moment to whisper to Chakotay, "Send the senior staff women this way, and….you may want to check on Gretchen in Sickbay."
"Was she injured?" he said in shock.
"Yes, I'm sure it's fine but….." said Janeway, giving away more with her eyes than she hoped.
Chakotay looked at her in dismay, nodded, and left quickly.
Janeway entered the room and offered the three aliens seats around her staff table, and took her normal spot at the head. A few minutes later B'Elanna and Seven entered and sat down.
Oh, Heaven help us, neither B'Elanna or Seven are known for their tact. Gretchen did so well with those Rift aliens….
Janeway jerked her mind back.
"We want to officially thank you for saving us from that attack," said Janeway as the meeting began.
"You're very welcome dear," said the lead alien in her high voice, "Anything, you know, for a fellow female."
"Yes, yes," said the turquoise alien echoed by a "Yes, yes," from the blue alien, all three smiling warmly with their four lips.
Why am I reminded of the Victorian great aunt I don't have?
"Well, we're very grateful," returned Janeway, "By the way, can you tell us anything else about the aliens that attacked us. Their motives?"
"Oh we don't talk about them," said the lead alien, gasping dramatically and pulling back, "Never, never."
"Never, never" echoed both of the others, suddenly holding their tentacle like arms to their chests and humming again.
"Of course we don't want to ask you to do anything you're uncomfortable with," said Janeway, forcing herself to stay calm, "But we need to know how to avoid them. We need to get through this part of space. We're from the Alpha Quadrant, and we want to get back."
"Oh, that's just fine," said the lead alien, smiling warmly again.
"Just fine, just fine," echoed the other two.
Chakotay gave instructions to B'Elanna and Seven over his combadge, and hurried as quickly as he could to Sickbay.
You couldn't tell me before Kathryn? You had to wait until there was a lull?
Not everything can wait Kathryn.
Sometimes…..sometimes it's too late…..
Chakotay entered Sickbay, and saw two of the Doctor's new holographic assistants making the rounds of Voyager crew members. He smiled and nodded at the crew members who looked at him, doing his best to be warm and reassuring.
After a moment he heard the Doctor's voice, coming out of his semi-private office.
"Change the electrical pulse to this frequency," said the Doctor's serious tone. As Chakotay entered his heart fell into his stomach and twisted painfully.
The Doctor and an assistant were huddled over an auburn haired young woman, head held in place, and a bar of flashing lights on her forehead.
"Get out Commander," said the Doctor, not looking up.
"What's wrong with her?" he answered, not able to stop himself.
"At the moment, she's dead," came the EMH's cool voice.
"What?"
The Doctor gave him the slightest glance and softened his tone, "You can hold her hand or something if you like, but do not get in my way. You can save the hysterics for later."
Chakotay strode forward, and grabbed his daughter's cool hand, staring at her inert face, feeling sick to his stomach as cold fear filled his whole body.
Gretchen felt very hazy, and blinked in confusion as she looked to the left of her medical bed.
"Sweetheart," she heard a female voice calling her. It was very familiar, but gentler than she remembered.
A woman wearing a Starfleet Captain's uniform was standing a few feet away from her. A woman with a white bob of hair and lines around her blue eyes.
"Mommy!" said Gretchen, springing up suddenly, "I….Marla had you, I, Marla murdered you….I dreamed she killed you…..and me…..And you didn't even care."
"Of course I cared," said the woman, coming closer, and holding Gretchen's hand, eyes soft, "But you didn't die then…..And I've always been with you."
"You just left me….." said Gretchen suddenly sobbing, "You just left me with hardly a backward glance…how could you just leave?," she said, voice breaking and eyes wounded.
"I'm here," said her mother, smiling softly, putting one hand under her chin, and lifting it up. Gretchen looked at her eyes, and felt warmth spread throughout her whole body. "I missed you," said her mother's gentle voice.
"Are you sure?" said Gretchen, eyes welling with tears against her will.
"Of course I did," said her mother, rubbing her fingers under Gretchen's eyes and wiping the tears away, even as she continued to hold her head softly, "I love you. I've missed you every day we've been apart. It's my greatest regret we didn't have more time together."
Gretchen dissolved into wracking sobs and felt her mother's arms wrap around her tightly.
She cried for a long time, but eventually the warmth seeped through, and she finally pulled back, tilting enough to see her mother's face, but not far enough to lose the embrace, "How are you here?"
Her mother laughed, "I'm sure you can guess," she said, wiping the last of Gretchen's tears.
"But….," said Gretchen, "Even if I'm dead…..you shouldn't be here….not now, I changed that. You're still alive."
"We're not the same person anymore. Different eternities now, everyone that lived, and died," her mother said softly, "In your timeline, is in one place…..and the others will be somewhere else, when they go….but it isn't your place to worry about it any longer baby," said the woman, looking at her gently, "It's time for you to come with your family."
"What do you mean?" said Gretchen, tilting her head in confusion.
"This is a…..holding place of sorts, a limbo so to speak…..I was just sent back to help you find your way. This isn't the final destination."
"But they're all waiting for you," the older woman added warmly, and Gretchen caught her breath.
"You mean my crew?"
"Of course," said her mother, smiling softly.
Gretchen cried again, in relief, for so long that it seemed to stretch out into eternity.
Gretchen hopped off the table finally, smiling at her mother, feeling energized, and almost giddy. She looked around the room, seeing an empty Sickbay.
"How come it looks like Voyager?"
"Oh it can take any form," said her mother, "But usually it's a place that's very familiar. Or where the person died. In your case it's both. You lived your whole life on this ship."
Gretchen looked around for a moment, not feeling at all dead, and beginning to imagine the Doctor, and Chakotay, and Tom, and Harry, and all of Voyager. What she had planned for the next day. And the other Kathryn Janeway.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, "Come on," her mother said softly, "We need to leave."
"I want…..I want to say goodbye at least."
"You can't honey," came her mother's voice, and she felt a comforting squeeze, "This isn't your place anymore."
"There must be a way," she said turning to the woman, "I know how much it hurts otherwise. Daddy's vision quests, Tuvok's mediation, there must be way for me to tell them goodbye, especially if I'll never see them again anywhere, not even in the afterlife."
"Your father is with me," her mother said gently, "And Tuvok as well," she said smiling, "Maybe you weren't as close to him from your end, but I assure you, he was close to you. They're all there. Everyone you miss. There's no reason to keep them waiting, is there?"
"No of course not," said Gretchen, smiling and nodding, turning to follow wherever her mother would lead.
A soft circular light appeared suddenly where Sickbay's doors had been. Her mother reached for her hand, and Gretchen took it and walked forward a couple of steps, but found herself stopping as they approached the threshold.
"I….maybe I should stay longer, and just try to reach them," she pleaded to her mother, "I hate to make them wait but…..does it really make a difference? They know I'm coming…..just a little bit longer,"
"Baby," said her mother softly, turning around and putting her hands on her shoulders, "You don't belong here, you never did. You were always an interloper in this timeline…you need to leave."
"I want to see them get home," said Gretchen stubbornly, "Maybe I can help, give them some clues. Now that I don't have a body."
"That seems…..highly unlikely," said her mother, voice becoming irritated for the first time.
Gretchen looked away, starting to feel alone again, despite the circumstances.
She looked at the light with a dejected stare, "Where's Thomas? Why didn't he come with you?"
"I think he thought we should get to know each other a bit," said the woman, smiling again and clenching her shoulders, "He's a little mysterious that one."
"He is," said Gretchen, staring at the light still, which glowed softly, as if it wanted to gently rock her to sleep. It did not seem as if the vibrant, plotting, brilliant Thomas Paris could be inside such a light.
Gretchen moved suddenly away from it, making her decision, straightening her spine and bracing herself as she stared her mother down, "I want to tell them goodbye. I want to see at least where I'm leaving them."
"You can't," said her mother, anger cropping up in her voice.
But even as her mother spoke the room flickered, and Gretchen could see Voyager crewmen, in various states of injury, and two of the Doctor's holographic assistants helping them. She heard the Doctor's voice from his office, and moved towards it, but her mother caught her arm.
"You won't want to see that," said her mother, "Believe me it isn't good."
Gretchen faltered, and breathed in, thinking quickly, "I need to see Tuvok, I may be able to talk to him, or maybe daddy," said Gretchen, uncertain how long she would be able to outlast her mother's strong will without good reasoning.
She moved quickly, avoiding the doors to Sickbay, and on a whim tried to move upwards instead. With relief she moved through the ceiling, leaving her mother behind much easier than she would've thought possible. She moved through the floors, hunting for the Vulcan, and finally spotted him, outside the Briefing Room, standing guard.
"Tuvok!" she said happily, waving her arms in front of him suddenly, "It's me, Gretchen, please hear me. I'm dead apparently, but I'm still here. I'm your friend. Turn to look at me anyway, even if it's only to say goodbye."
Gretchen waved her hands in front of his face multiple times, gave him an airy hug, and finally, after a long moment of debate and a test swipe through his arm, walked through him. The Vulcan turned at the last one, holding up a questioning eyebrow.
"Yes!" said Gretchen loudly, "That's a huge reaction for a Vulcan."
"Of course, of course!" said Gretchen, snapping her fingers suddenly, "I should try to meditate. We've been meditation partners for months, there's a good chance he'll recognize me."
Gretchen sat on the floor, cross legged, and began to put herself in a meditative mindset. Slowing her habitual breathing, clearing her mind, reciting the familiar mantra.
She felt only the slightest hint of a presence, as if a veil separated the two of them. Suddenly she looked up, and saw her mother standing between them.
"What are you doing?" said her mother angrily, then softening at Gretchen's wide eyes, "That won't work."
"I…..I'm sorry," said Gretchen softly, standing up.
"There's nothing you can do. You never were good at solving problems. You need to give up before you make things worse."
Gretchen looked at Tuvok's solid face and her mother's determined one.
Gretchen sighed, debating and then turning to her mother and nodding, "Let's take a tour of the ship, top up to top down, one last run. We'll end in Sickbay where we started. I know you didn't want me to see but….maybe if I see my body it'll be real to me. Maybe if we see Voyager together…..if I know for sure I can't do anything…..I can let go."
Gretchen held her breathe, uncertain that she could outlast her mother's strong will. She did her best to look stronger than she felt as she faced her. Already she could feel her energy seeping away somewhere.
Her mother looked away in disapproval and Gretchen accepted the truce. She stared at Tuvok, knowing that he must be guarding the Briefing Room for a reason. She breathed in deeply, and entered, moving through the door like smoke.