It was not supposed to be this way. Hee Jae sat at the edge of the makeshift bed in the darkened hut, tears rolling endlessly down her cheeks. She could not comprehend how the situation could have altered so tragically in a mere couple of days. Yeon was dead, killed by Nam Jeon's men the day before a few hours after setting off for the new town. Hwi, injured by a poisoned arrow, had arrived too late. Seon Ho, too, had dashed to the scene when he had discovered his father's malicious plan to get rid of Hwi, Yeon and their friends. He lost the chance to bid his final farewell to Yeon. Hwi had gone berserk after Yeon had drew her last breath. He had rode back into Gaekyeong and confronted Nam Jeon. He would have died too if Bang Won had not turned up at the critical moment.

Now Hwi was back at the mountain hut, barely conscious and breathing. Moon Bok had managed to stop the spread of the poison but Hwi would never recover fully. Physical injury aside, he was irrevocably shattered by this loss of his only sibling, his only family. Hee Jae had been keeping vigil over him through the night. He was burning hot with fever one second, icy and shivering the next. Hee Jae was at a loss at how to manage him when he woke up – Yeon, his only reason for survival so far – was gone. When Hwi growled in pain, Hee Jae picked up his hand and held it against her cheek. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, " she apologised brokenly, her other hand brushing his sweat-matted hair off his forehead. She had no idea what she was apologising for but she was devastated that she could not prevent the pain he had suffered, and the pain he was going to endure for the rest of his life.

"Orabeoni!" Hwi woke up with start at the sound of Yeon's desperate cry. Crippling pain ripped through his entire body as he tried to sit up. Yeon. Nam Jeon's man had stabbed through her delicate, frail body. He had not protected his younger sister. She had died because of him. Intense agony and grief washed over him and he bellowed in helpless rage. "Hwi!" Hwi barely noticed Hee Jae worriedly calling him as she tried to prevent him from standing up. He waved her away roughly and gritting his teeth, he managed to get to his feet. He wildly reached for the sword leaning against the wall but realised with horror he could not grip it at all. His hands were numb and he could not feel his fingers. He let out an animalistic howl of pain and crumpled on the floor in tears. Hee Jae knelt quietly beside him and laid her hand on his arm, "Hwi." Her gentle, calm voice cut through momentarily through his ravaged haze. He stilled, gasping for breath. Hee Jae cupped his tear-streaked cheek and whispered, "Let's send Yeon off properly."

"Where is Hwi?" Hee Jae asked when she came out of the small shed next to the hut which held Yeon's body. She had helped Moon Bok wash, clean and dress Yeon. Hwa Wol had returned to Ihwaru to convey the news to Seo Seol. Chi Do gestured frustratedly towards the hut, "Inside. He is just sitting there. He has been sitting there for the past hour. " Hee Jae flashed a wan smile at Chi Do, "I'll handle him." Jung Beom sputtered, "But he's… not wearing anything!" Hee Jae shrugged carelessly, "I grew up in a gisaeng house. Nothing much can shock me anymore."

Padding silently into the hut, Hee Jae spotted Hwi sitting in a wooden barrel, staring listlessly at the wall in front of him. He was too weak to walk to the river to bathe and had refused to let his friends carry him. Thus, Jung Beom had come up with the idea to use a large wooden barrel which usually stored weapons as a tub. The men had boiled water and added medicinal herbs that Moon Bok had picked to treat Hwi's wound. There was another pot of water over the fire so Hee Jae scooped some with a big bowl and headed towards Hwi. Without a word, she poured the hot water into the tub. She made a few more trips with the bowl; Hwi did not react or speak to her throughout. When Hee Jae was satisfied the water was hot enough, she plucked a clean cloth from a rack and lowered herself next to the tub. She dipped the cloth into the water and started washing his shoulders, torso, neck and arms. Hwi did not stop her. He just sat mutely in the water, his eyes blank.

"Lean forward. We need to wash your hair," she instructed evenly though her heart ached at his pale, expressionless face. He did not respond so she nudged his head downward and scrubbed his tousled mane as clean as she could. When she was done, she snatched his fresh set of mourning clothes from the bench and held it up above the tub. "Hwi, please." she urged, reaching down to squeeze his shoulder. When he did not move after a few seconds, Hee Jae thought she had failed.

Just when she thought of enlisting Chi Do's help, Hwi stood up slowly, wincing in pain. Hee Jae quickly threw the robe around him and he stepped out of the tub. Keeping her eyes steadily on his, she carefully slid his arms into the sleeves and knotted the belt at his waist. His hair was in a mess so she combed through the tangles with her fingers. Hwi stood in front of her quiescently, his eyes closed. He was utterly defeated. His wound was visible through the open vee of his collar. Hee Jae covered it gently with her palm, "You still have me." Hwi did not reply. For the first time since he had known Hee Jae, her words failed to soothe him.

Hee Jae held back her tears as she stood beside Hwi, helping him spread Yeon's ashes into the river. She did not know what to do with Hwi next. She was certain once he was done mourning, he would go after Nam Jeon. After Yeon's sending-off ceremony, Hwi retreated into the hut and banned anyone else from entering. Hee Jae figured she could make a quick trip back to Ihwaru since she was certain Hwi's friends would keep a close watch on him. "Hee Jae!!!" It was Hwa Wol, running towards the hut frantically. One look at her best friend's distraught face and Hee Jae knew immediately what was wrong. Grabbing her travel pack, she hesitated, wondering whether to leave a note for Hwi. In his present predicament, Hee Jae figured he would not care and she did not want to add on to his burden. Thus, she turned on her heel and left the hut.

Hwi staggered into the freezing river with his clothes on. Yeon. Yeon was all alone in the nether world. Hwi halted and let out a bitter laugh. He was the one alone. Yeon was with their father in a world without worry and pain. He was the one left behind in this wrenched hell on earth. He wanted to join them – but not before he killed Nam Jeon, which would probably take him years. Still, he trudged deeper into the river, which was now shoulder-deep.

It was tempting… so tempting… "You still have me." Hwi clenched his fists under the water. Hee Jae. Hee Jae who had waited patiently and determinedly for him for four years, willing him to be alive. When he woke up from his stupor earlier and found her gone from his side, he had felt strangely empty. Despite the overwhelming grief that shrouded his soul and though he had pushed her away, he still missed Hee Jae.

Chi Do had informed Hee Jae had to rush back to Ihwaru but was not aware of the reason. If he died now, he would make her cry again and he hated that thought. He sighed heavily and looked up at the clear sky, "Yeon. Just wait a little longer. Just a little longer…" Hwi twisted his head back to look at the shore resignedly. He could not take on Nam Jeon by his own means. He needed resources and power and there was only one person in Goryeo who could provide what he need.

When Hee Jae arrived at Bang Won's palatial residence, she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. Seo Seol was gone; Hee Jae was now the head of Ihwaru. When she had returned to the hut and found Hwi gone, Hee Jae felt like she was spiralling into an abyss of despair. First, Yeon. Then, Seo Seol. And potentially, Hwi. His friends were frantic as he had taken off without informing them, leaving his cherished bow behind. His sword was missing though.

Hee Jae knew there was only person Hwi could turn to achieve his goal of revenge – which was why she was calling on Bang Won in the middle of the night. Mung Bok had related that Hwi required a concoction of rare herbs to treat his wound and keep him alive. It could not be found in Goryeo, however, and without it, Hwi would not be able to live another week with the deadly poison festering inside him. Again, only Bang Won would be able to secure the needed medicine, similar to how he had been supplying Seo Seol medicine for her chronic lung ailment for the past decade.

"Your Highness, Miss Hee Jae is here to see you, " Bang Won looked up with mild surprise from the military book he was reading. The new mistress of Ihwaru was calling. If she had not visited him, he would have done so in the next couple of days. Bang Won genuinely grieved for Seo Seol, who he had known for almost half his life. He admired her integrity, dignity, intelligence, courage and analytical mind. For decades she had held both royalty and aristocracy in the palm of her hand; on a bad day, they were ruthlessly under her thumb. Now, all that power and information rested with Hee Jae, her successor. Bang Won knew Hee Jae was not paying him a courtesy call – she was here to negotiate both for Ihwaru and the man the best royal physician was trying to save in the next room.

Hwi's groans of pain echoed around the room as the physician treated his wound with a mixture of traditional and unconventional methods. Hee Jae dug her fingers into her palms painfully as she stood outside the room; Hwi was going to die if Bang Won did not help him. "I'm surprised he made it to my residence without dying during the journey," Bang Won drawled from behind her. Hee Jae deliberately unclenched her fists and turned around in a measure manner. She dipped her

head respectfully, "Your Highness."

He returned her greeting with a nod, taking in the woman in front of him. She wore a pale grey blouse and silvery skirt made of the finest silk, her hair neatly pulled back from her lovely face. He wanted her. Period. But Bang Won knew Hee Jae would never give in or give herself to him, even if Hwi died that very night. If he lived, her loyalty would always be sworn to him. But Bang Won was never one into bedroom games; his entire life was geared towards sitting on the throne, and running the nation. Because of that, it was wiser of him to negotiate with Hee Jae on the same terms as he did with Seo Seol. But Bang Won had a bigger bargaining chip this time round – Hwi's life.

"I'll make sure he lives. What can you give me in return, "Bang Won uttered brusquely. Hee Jae smiled beatifically, "Weekly reports of all court officials holding the top three ranks – finance, land, treasure, wives, mistresses, children, bastards, friends, foes… every second of their lives. For one year without payment. We'll re-negotiate again after the year is up." It was an irresistible bargain. Bang Won whistled in reluctant appreciation, "I said I'll make sure he lives. I didn't say I'll promise he will live for the next 20 years, marry you and have babies." There was a long pause before Hee Jae answered tonelessly, "I don't need 20 years, marriage or babies. I just need him to be alive the next sunrise, the next sunset, and the next… and the next…"

Bang Won glanced through the half-opened doors of the room where an unconscious Hwi lay. The boy was special, Bang Won admitted. He had courage, spirit, skill and incredible will. A perfect warrior in the making. There was something familiar about the way he fought and his mannerisms. Bang Won just could not put a finger on it. Even if Hee Jae had not offered the deal, he would have done all he could to save Hwi. "I want the first batch of reports in a fortnight," Bang Won rapped out gruffly. "Yes, Your Highness," Hee Jae responded coolly even as immense relief washed over her. Hwi was going to live.

"Orabeoni!" Hwi roused with a start, sweating. Yeon. Will his nightmares of Yeon ever go away, he wondered dully. He blinked and peered around the dimly-lit room he was in. He was at Bang Won's residence. The last thing Hwi recalled was falling clumsily into Bang Won, who had oddly held him with sympathy rather than toss him aside in disgust. The prince was an enigma. "You are finally awake!" Mung Bok screeched, snatching up Hwi's hand and pumping it up and down excitedly. Jung Beom and Chi Do, who were sleeping, woke up instantly and joined Mung Bok by Hwi's bedside. Hwi asked, "How long have I've been asleep?" "Three days, " Jung Beom informed as he checked Hwi's wound. It looked ghastly since it was still blackened by poison but at the least the poison had stopped spreading… for now.

Hwi glanced down at his torso and arms, perplexed. He was sweaty but he did not feel dirty or grimy. Someone had obviously washed him while he was unconscious. "Miss Hee Jae has been cleaning you every two hours for the past three days, "Chi Do said, pointing to a small room that was connected to his room. Hwi could see Hee Jae fast asleep on the floor, covered by a thin quilt.

"She shouldn't be here, "Hwi rasped curtly. She was not safe around him – or Bang Won. "You're right. She should be at Ihwaru mourning but she was too worried to leave you alone, " Chi Do retorted. Hwi drew his breath sharply at Chi Do's words. Seo Seol. Hee Jae had mentioned that Seo Seol had been suffering from ill health for the past few weeks – the formidable head of Ihwaru had finally passed on. Hee Jae loved the woman dearly. She must be devastated yet here she was, fretting over him. Swinging his feet to the side, Hwi stood up unsteadily and headed for the small room. His friends filed out the room without another word.

Hee Jae's eyes fluttered open sleepily and found herself snuggled against something wonderfully warm and comforting. Jerking her up head in confusion, she found herself staring into Hwi's turbulent eyes as he lay next to her, propped up sideways on his shoulder. He was awake and he had come to her. The quilt was drawn around them and the sliding door leading to the bigger room was closed. She extended her hand to trail her fingers down his jaw to his chin, and whispered reverently "You're awake – and alive." Hwi captured her hand gently tangled his fingers with hers, "I'm sorry about Seo Seol. I know you loved her like your own mother." Hee Jae simply nodded, accepting his condolences.

Hwi slipped his arm around Hee Jae and hauled both of them upright into a sitting position, and facing each other. He gripped her arms firmly, "Hee Jae… I won't rest until I kill Nam Jeon and whoever else involved in my father's and Yeon's deaths. It will take me years. I won't be around often and I would never lead a normal, peaceful life till I draw my last breath. I'll be killing people and people would be trying to kill me. I'll have to commit unspeakable acts at times. Your life will be ruined if you continue to be with me." Hwi paused for a second before adding in a pained tone, "Please. Let's just stop here. Stay away from me. Stay away from Bang Won. Please."

"I told you. I'll never lose you again," Hee Jae reiterated, tilting her chin stubbornly. Hwi shook her lightly, "I'm already losing myself. There is going to be nothing left of the old Hwi in time and you'll regret it then. You will be wasting your life on a cold-blooded killer who has nothing to offer you except pain and broken promises. I'm going to break your heart over and over again. " To Hwi's frustration, Hee Jae smiled, her eyes filled with bittersweet affection, "I'll hold on to you, even if you lose yourself. You'll always be the same boy who kissed me in my room four years ago – a loyal friend, a loving brother, a brave warrior. None of that is going to change. I'll continue to live my life as mistress of Ihwaru

– don't worry about me and do what you need to do. I'll do my best to lessen your pain and I'll be the one to keep the promises. Just do what you have to do, what you want to do. I'll look after my own heart."

She was truly crazy. Hwi concluded even as her words shook him to the core. Tears fell unchecked from his eyes as he gazed at her wordlessly, shattered by her conditional love and loyalty. Hee Jae leaned forward to hug him, "There is only one thing I want from you. Promise me you'll always come back to me, no matter how far you go, how matter long you take." Hwi locked his arms around her, "I promise."

Six years later.

Hee Jae waited anxiously at the marketplace in town, with Gyeol by her side. Hwi was back. She had not seen him in almost four months. According to her sources, he arrived in Hanyang at dawn. When the capital was moved from Gaekyeong to Hanyang, Hee Jae decided to move relocate Ihwaru to the latter as well. The gisaeng establishment was bigger, grander and richer than ever before. Hwi was supposedly making a stop at the blacksmith so Hee Jae waited down the street.

Finally, a tall, lean figure dressed in expensive maroon silk stepped out of the tiny, hidden blacksmith shop. It was deceptively decrepit on the outside; the team of blacksmiths working inside were the best in Joseon and made weapons exclusively for Bang Won. The only other person they were allowed to make weapons for was Hwi.

Hwi started back up the street and spotted Hee Jae immediately with her ever-faithful bodyguard shadowing her. She drank in his physical presence as he slowly headed towards her. A new scar ran down his neck and his knuckles were bruised. His tan had gotten darker and he looked as if he had not slept for days. When he drew abreast, he paused mid-stride and angled his head towards her. His eyes were devoid of emotion and light – dark, ruthless and detached.

He had been right six years ago – he was self-destructing his old self away with every new step towards destroying Nam Jeon. Hee Jae returned his cold, assessing stare with a tiny smile of muted joy. No matter what he did and where he went, even disappearing for months, Hwi had kept that one promise over the last six years – he always came back to Hee Jae after. Be it angry and bloody or broken and lost, he never once broke his vow to return to her.

And Hee Jae kept her side of the bargain – she never asked him anything, never judged his actions and decisions. She held on to him, his anchor as he navigated his stormy, dangerous quest for revenge. As he walked away from her, she eyed the sun setting in the distance. She then closed her eyes and thanked the heavens she had him for yet another day.