Hey everybody,

it's already Saturday again! Honestly, where did the time go?
Thank you all for your sweet words, and it makes me so happy you guys follow this little story and that it is able to touch you, and I hope that it will continue to do so ;-)

So, thank you guys^^ and see you next week

Chapter 5

-Sanji-

The next two days went by relatively uneventful.

The ship sailed in moderate seas following the direction of the log pose and slowly but surely brought them closer to the Red Line.

Usopp and Franky still spent most of the time in their workshop and only came out to sleep or eat, Sanji even doubted that they showered the way they smelled.

Luffy repeatedly disappeared for a few hours into the sickbay to talk to Zoro, who spent the whole day there. Sanji had noticed that Robin also visited him quite often, twice he had met her there, both time she had been reading, once quietly and once aloud.

Of course Chopper visited his patient frequently, often for medical reasons, but also on private occasions. Even Brook's music Sanji had once heard from the room on the other side of the wall while cooking.

So it could not be said that Zoro was much alone or could be lonely.

Accordingly, Sanji had hardly found the opportunity to talk to the other on his own. Because when no one was there, and sometimes even when someone else was there, he always seemed to be sleeping.

Even for the Marimo, the amount of sleep he was currently collecting was unusually high and that wasn't the only problem.

Three times a day Sanji brought him a tray of food, and three times a day he took an untouched tray back. He didn't even drink a glass of water or juice, alcohol was still forbidden according to Chopper, although the external wounds had probably already healed.

Each time, Sanji swore to himself to kick this idiot against the next best wall and stuff the food down his throat - if necessary, by force - but each time he came in Zoro was asleep.

Right now was another moment just like this.

It was still very early in the morning. Sanji hadn't been able to sleep well the last few days and thus had started a new habit of preparing breakfast early, trying out some very time-consuming creations, for which he otherwise lacked peace and time.

He had just exchanged Zoro's breakfast for last night's meal.

In the sickbay it was still dark, except for the faint light from the galley. In the pale shimmer, the other's cheeks seemed to be sunken in slightly, his skin looking grayish.

Sanji knew these signs, not dangerous yet, but clearly worrying, and for someone like him, the idea that Zoro was starving even though food was present was unimaginable and completely incomprehensible.

Zoro's calm, decent mood from the beginning had probably disappeared by now. From the others' conversations Sanji had heard that their swordsman spoke little to nothing. Even with Chopper, he answered only the most necessary questions and did without comment what the young doctor demanded of him.

No one said it, no one pretended anything was different, but Sanji knew full well that they were all worried.

But like the past few days, he decided to let the other sleep with a silent sigh. Maybe he was a bit afraid of the next discussion, maybe he was afraid of what Zoro could say but also what he could say.

The breakfast went by exactly like the last few days. Robin appeared first, followed by Nami and Brook. Chopper and Luffy arrived a short time later after Brook woke them up. While the battle for physical well-being had already begun, the two hobbyists came in, still saying barely a word and concentrated like they were about to write an exam. They hardly took part in the general discussions but sat down in a corner and spoke in a hurry and with serious faces.

Sanji watched the others attentively, it was not so different than usual, but one simply noticed that the grumpy wannabe samurai was missing.

But today Luffy didn't go to the sickbay after he was finally done. As Sanji and Brook did the dishes, they could hear their captain trying to encourage Nami and Chopper to play cards with him.

Robin laughed softly and pointed out that Nami would win every game, but eventually everyone gave in and followed the straw hat outside.

"If you want, you can go as well," Sanji offered, "I can take care of the rest on my own."

"Really?" Brook looked as happy as a skull could look like.

"Sure. Take that tray at the counter with you, but make sure Luffy doesn't eat all of them on his own."

He pointed to a tray of fresh fruit tarts that he had made for the first time in the early morning. They were quite a success for his first attempt.

"Thank you, Sanji."

Laughing loudly, the musician took the pretty pastry and rushed out to the others.

Quietly sighing, Sanji did the rest alone. Although he was grateful for Brook's help, the other was honestly rather difficult to deal with when it came to cleaning up. It was not uncommon for his bony hands to miss the plates Sanji handed him, and often he laughed extensively in the most inappropriate moments, terrifying Sanji to death.

Quite different from the ill-tempered swordsman who just quietly and unnerved did what he was told. Zoro didn't like this work, but once he was assigned to do it, he did it without complaining, well, without complaining too much.

Finally, Sanji had removed the last remnants of the breakfast. Tired, he dropped on a chair and lit a desperately needed cigarette, his fourth on a young day.

He clearly had to sleep more if he wanted to be useful. As tired as he was, he wouldn't endure a night watch. Luckily, the two tinkers had taken over the last times, not that he had really slept better because of it.

Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled the book Chopper had forgotten on the kitchen table closer and put his head on it. A few seconds later, he few asleep.

When he woke up, he didn't know how much time had passed, but he knew he wasn't alone anymore. Slowly, he raised his head. Zoro sat opposite him, a smug grin on his face, his chin resting on his hand.

"Wuaah!"

Sanji jumped back, almost falling off his chair.

The swordsman laughed badly.

"Don't be so jumpy, sleeping beauty."

"What the hell are you doing here?" He hissed, pointing his finger at the other. He noticed that he was still holding the cigarette, which was still lit. It was a miracle that nothing had been burned.

"Why shouldn't I be here? The galley is for everyone, not just you, princess."

"Stop calling me that, Marimo."

"Why should I? You said yourself that you're only a knight in shiny armor for women. For me, you will always be the blonde princess of idiots."

"Asshole!"

Before he even knew what he was doing, he had already jumped up and kicked.

Zoro grinned even wider, jumping up as well and blocking his foot with both hands before throwing himself over the table and attacking Sanji. Adrenaline pumped through his body, their last good fight had already happened days ago and he...

Hold on.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Sanji jumped back and brought several feet of distance between them.

"Pretty easy, dartboard brow, you're blond and a..."

"I'm not talking about that!" He yelled at the other. "You're standing! You can walk! You're back!"

Zoro lowered both arms and tilted his head, obviously confused.

"Yes, I can walk, so? What kind of insult is that supposed to be?"

The other looked like he was actually worried.

"Since when? How? What did you...?"

"What's wrong with you, cook? Are you stoned? What the hell did you smoke?" Again, the swordsman laughed quietly but evil and went into combat position. "But that's no reason for me to take it easy on you."

Slowly Sanji understood, it had been just a nightmare, a terrible, awful nightmare. Relief spread through his bones as he waited for the other's attack. Zoro was healthy, he was not paralyzed, he was still able to pursue and achieve his dream. It was all good. It was all good.

"Who said I'm going to take it easy on you?" He replied with a grin as well.

For another second they glared mischievously at each other before the next exchange of blows. This time, however, harder, more relentless. This was real! It was not some stupid dream, no helpless hope, his favorite enemy was back and Sanji would defeat him this time!

Laughing, Sanji gave in to the fight rush, dishing out and taking it in.

That's what a fight should be like!

As always it didn't really make a difference if his favorite opponent used his swords or fought with bare fists, as always he was right there to tackle Sanji's attacks, no matter how harsh, no matter how rough. Finally Sanji felt like he was able to break this tension that terrible dream had cause in his chest. This was just how things should be, how everything was meant to be.

Suddenly, Zoro's leg gave way and awkwardly he fell with a silent grunt.

"What kind of weak dodge was that?" Sanji laughed.

But to his surprise, the other looked at him incredibly angry but also panicked.

"What have you done?!" Zoro growled, trying to lift himself from the ground with both hands.

"What are you talking about? What's going on?" Confused, Sanji looked at the man crawling on the ground.

"My legs. I can't feel my legs!" Zoro's voice was angry but also mixed with despair. "What did you do, cook? What the hell did you do to me?!"

Sanji stumbled a step back.

"What? But I..."

"You did this." Zoro tried to kneel, but his legs did not want to obey him. "You pushed me off the cliff! This is your fault!"

"Is he right?" Suddenly Luffy stood in the doorway and simply looked at him. "Did you push Zoro off the edge?!"

Sanji looked back and forth between Zoro and his captain.

"But... but..."

"Is it true?! Is this your fault?!"

But before he could answer, he felt the blow against his temple.

He hit the ground. He was expecting a scream, loud voices, roars, anything, but everything was quiet.

Only his heart beat relentlessly. Confused, Sanji looked around. He was lying in the galley, the overturned chair next to him, a burnt cigarette in his hand. Otherwise, no one was there. No swordsman, no captain.

He was alone.

Slowly, he sat up. He had fallen asleep; it had only been a dream. He was still breathing fast.

It had only been a dream.

From outside, he could hear Luffy's laughing voice playing some games, and Zoro lay in bed on the other side of the wooden wall, like the last few days.

It had only been a dream.

Very carefully, Snaji straightened up and put the chair back in place. He really had to catch up on sleep.

His gaze wandered through the room; stuck on the book he had slept on. A medical book, it had to be from Chopper. Slowly he lifted it up, studied the open page.

One place was colorfully marked and wildly underlined and although he did not understand much of the technical terms he began to read. Most of it was incomprehensible gibberish, but he understood enough. Enough to jump up and run into the adjacent room.

And there he stood and stared at the swordsman.

Zoro was doing his weird exercises again, which really couldn't have looked more ridiculous. For a second, no one said anything.

"What do you want, cook?" The other grumbled, as always, extremely unkind.

Sanji nodded over to the tray on the table, which was, as always, untouched.

"You should eat something," he replied instead of answering the question.

"Not hungry." The other did not even look at him but continued his stretching exercises.

"Your body needs food to recover."

"I know what my body needs. Not your problem."

He was obviously irritated, but Sanji's heart was still running at full speed.

"But, as a ship's cook, it is very much my problem whether the crewmembers are properly fed."

"Luckily, soon I won't be..."

"Don't finish that sentence!" Before he could stop himself, his leg had already left the ground.

At the last moment, Zoro grabbed his foot, his green eyes flashing furiously at Sanji.

"My legs may be useless, but I'm far from helpless. Don't dare to underestimate me."

"I shouldn't underestimate your stupidity in particular," Sanji growled, tearing his leg back. "Why the hell have you given up?!"

Zoro's eyes grew big, for a second he didn't seem to understand, but then his gaze became serious, as if he knew exactly what was going through Sanji's head.

"You talked to Chopper?"

"No." He shook his head. "I read it in one of his books."

Sanji sat down on the stool trying to bring this conversation on a civil level, though adrenaline was chasing through his veins. "Why did you, out of all, stop fighting?! You even wanted to chop off your feet back then. Why give up when there's still a chance..."

"There is none." Zoro sighed and lowered his arms. His body lacked the usual tension.

"What? But in the book..."

"You're not a doctor, cook. You have no idea. There's no chance anymore."

"But why...?"

"You should have talked to Chopper first." Now Zoro sounded relaxed, almost too serene, while Sanji felt like he was bursting from within. Once again, the swordsman sighed and leaned against the wall. Then he continued: "If the spinal cord is not completely severed, there is a possibility that it might be injured, but may regenerate to some extent. You're all about that, aren't you?"

Sanji nodded.

A quiet, shuddering laugh filled the room, for the first time since that incident Sanji had the feeling of actually seeing a tiny sliver of the real Zoro – maybe except for the moment he had thrown the chair after he had just woken up – and for fuck's sake he wished he wouldn't.

"Yes, Chopper told me about it. And how likely I could have a vertebral fracture or a bruise. And he told me that the longer the paralysis lasts, the less likely it is to recover."

Sanji looked at him, nothing remained of that frightening moment a second ago, nothing but Sanji's tense muscles, his racing heart.

"If there had been a chance, I wouldn't have been paralyzed when I woke up. But the accident happened a week ago and..." Zoro didn't finish his sentence and just looked at Sanji. "Sorry to have destroyed your sweet, little moment of hope."

"But in the book..." he began in a last weak oppose.

"Cook."

He looked at the other. Zoro leaned to the side and reached for the fork from the tray.

The next moment he just jammed it into his right thigh, digging it all the way into the flesh, fine droplets of blood discolored the pants.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Sanji jumped up.

"Making sure you stop dreaming."

"What?" He stared back and forth between the fork in the leg and the serious, far too calm gaze of the swordsman. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

He tried to reach for the fork, but Zoro held him back without any problems.

"You should go now, cook." His voice was way too sleek. "And you should never come in again with a glimmer of hope."

Their eyes met.

This is your fault!

"Leave!"

And Sanij did. Fleeing to the bathroom, the only room next to the pantry that could be locked. He stood there for another second and then he collapsed and cried.

-Zoro-

With a disgusting smack, he pulled the fork out of his leg.

For a second, he believed to feel the sting. His mind remembered the pain he was supposed to feel, but he felt nothing. It was nothing more than a reminder of a feeling that was now alien to him. He could see the blood seeping into his pants, but it wasn't much and he didn't really care.

Disinterested, he threw the bloody fork back onto the tray.

He knew he had been unfair, mean, nasty. He had scared his little dartboard brow, who had just wanted to be nice, just wanted to give him hope.

And Sanji had succeeded. For a fraction of a second, Zoro had actually thought that he might still be able to fight, maybe still could fight for something.

But the pain of awakening had once again been bittersweet. His dream had already died, once again he had to bury it.

Perhaps he had been unfair to the cook, but what the blond had unintentionally done to him was much worse. In his attempts to build him up, he had only torn him down even more.

"You shouldn't be that hard with Sanji." He did not look up but remained as he was. "And even more so, you shouldn't be that hard with yourself."

"I don't need your fortune cookie wisdom."

The other laughed softly and threw himself on the stool.

"I don't think it's good for you to lie in bed all day long and do nothing. You should go outside once in a while."

"You really wanna fuck with me right now?!" He barked at the other, tensing up. For a moment he could see fear flashing up in those dark eyes, an emotion that gave him satisfaction. "If you haven't noticed it yet, I can't just go outside! I can't leave this damn bed! I can't fucking walk!"

The other sighed and tapped his nose. "Sometimes you're really slow on the uptake, right?"

"Stop tempting me or I'll rip you apart!"

The other raised both arms calmly and a little scared and then nodded over to his latest creation, which he had pushed in.

"Could you please stop acting like I'm your enemy. I'm on your side, we're all on your side."

Sighing unnerved, Zoro leaned back. The others did not want to or could not understand that this wasn't about sides, not about fights or about solidarity. For once, it wasn't about what the crew could do, what each of them could do, how strong their unity was. There was no dark, evil enemy on the other side. No dangerous, hopeless fight to be fought. And it wasn't about their solidarity, something they could deal with together.

"You have no idea," he grumbled, covering his eyes with one hand.

"You mean, I have no idea of what you're feeling? This helplessness while my friends need help? This powerlessness while my friends are strong enough to change the world? Or do you mean this constant, unending fear while my friends are brave enough to take on their own fate?"

Slowly he let his hand sink into his lap and looked at Usopp, who grinned slightly.

"Exactly, these feelings are of course completely alien to me, the great Captain Usopp. I've never been in a hopeless situation or envied my friends, because it just seems so easy for them to pursue their dreams. So I really have no idea."

For one moment, Zoro regarded the other. He had never seen it like this before. Then he shook his head.

"That's something completely different, you idiot." He mumbled and leaned slightly forward. "It's nothing physical for you. You just have to overcome your fear, and then nothing will stand in your way from reaching your dream. But for me..."

"Just overcome your fear?! Are you freaking nuts?!"

Surprised, he looked at Usopp, who leaned forward as well.

"Sure, easy for someone like you to say something like that. Just overcome your fear, tze, what the hell!" He huffed irritated and shook his head. "For someone like you who makes a thousand push-ups every morning, who challenges and defeats a superior opponent every day, who seeks and passes a new challenge every second of his life. For you, it is probably easy to overcome your own fear. You and Luffy, sometimes I even doubt if you even feel something like fear."

For a moment, they both remained silent.

"Usopp, I'm..."

"You really don't get it, do you? When you see a mountain, you wonder how long you might need to climb it. Luffy doesn't even wonder, but just runs off. When I see a mountain, within a second I can think of a hundred ways to die on the climb. In my head, within one breath, I calculate the probability of overcoming it unharmed. With every step, every grip, I know exactly how much can go wrong. Not even mentioned the concern for my friends. For me, fear is much more than just a feeling, Zoro. It's as real to me as your paralyzed legs."

Confused, he looked at the other. The anger and despair of a few minutes ago had faded. Zoro had never really been aware of how much his fears and concerns affected Usopp. For Zoro, it had always been some kind of excuse to find an easier way. For this he had never judged Usopp, but sometimes derided him.

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked simply. "What do you want to tell me with this?"

Usopp leaned back and crossed his arms.

"I have often given in to my fear, even to the point where I gave up my own dream." They both knew exactly what moment he meant. "But then I decided that my dream was bigger than my fear. I have overcome my fear. It sounds easy now, but it wasn't. At that moment I accepted that I was probably going to die and I did it anyway, even though I am so afraid of dying."

He sighed for a moment.

"After I gave in to my fear, I had to leave my comfort zone to overcome it. I had to do things I never expected. I decided to do what no one of our crew could do, even if I could die in the process, even if I had a heart attack due to fear. Do you understand?"

Zoro only looked at him.

"It's not easy. It's not like I'm another man with just that, with just one decision. I have to overcome my fear every day, I have to leave my comfort zone every freaking day. Even before this moment here, I panicked. Nevertheless, I am here. I haven't given up."

Slowly he understood.

"Things that are like doomsday for me don't even attract your attention. You are strong, courageous, disciplined, and so on..." The other laughed softly. "But even you have a comfort zone. It may be bigger, hard-earned, and expansive, but even you have your limits. And I think that this, your injury, as bad as it may be, just threw you out of your safe environment and I think it's up to you whether you just give up or continue to fight."

"That sounds pretty easy for you to say. As if this is just a silly something."

"Oh no. It's certainly not easy and I'm not wanting to talk down what happened to you. You stand before the shards of your life. You did not cross the border of your comfort zone with the tip of your toes but flew out of it like a cannonball. But that's no reason for Robin to keep her promise!"

Shocked, Zoro stared at the other.

"What? How do...?"

"Oh, come on, I wasn't really that drunk that day. I thought it was just some joke, too much alcohol and you couldn't really stand each other back then. Really shocked me the day before yesterday, when she was kneeling in front of you. Wouldn't have thought you were such a coward."

Before he could even say anything, Usopp stood up and pointed at his souvenir.

"You block the wheels with this button, I'll explain the rest to you later if you want. I'm going to eat something now and then I will take a well-deserved nap. I'm tired." At the door, the other turned around again. "It's an opportunity, Zoro. You could just as easily have died. You could have lost everything, but you didn't."

Zoro stared at the other in dismay.

She's dead, Zoro! She fell down the stairs.

He thought he'd lost everything. But he still had...

"Usopp!" He shouted after the other, who was already through the door.

For a moment Usopp looked at him, then he just grinned and showed him a thumbs-up, as if he knew exactly what Zoro wanted to say.