Chapter 6
Eden 5
The following morning Artemis had given Gaige her cybernetic plates, which Gaige found to be some of the best work she had seen. She also knew that it wasn't what had been in the crate from the night before. But she couldn't find a way to pry into what had been in it without drawing her dad's ire. So she let it rest. The truth was, she had never been the patient kind. If she got a present, she wanted to tear it open right away, she wasn't one of those delayed gratification types, thought that didn't mean she would foolishly rush into things. But it did mean that the crate had been on her mind since she'd gotten up, and the first thing she'd asked that morning had been what was inside. But she had just been told to wait, that she would find out later. The only thing she had figured out, was that Artemis was the opposite of her in that regard. She could set a present aside and not open it for days, though Gaige had to wonder if that didn't have more to do with her not getting any presents in a long time.
Still, the morning had rolled past and midway through the afternoon they had gathered their things and headed out.
It wasn't long before they got to the park, which seemed to have been reserved for them, since there were a few people standing outside and a sign that told that there was a private party going on today and apologized for the inconvenience.
Gaige just shook her head. She couldn't fathom what had possessed her parents to go this far. It wasn't like she was particularly close with any of her relatives, in fact, she never got along with any of her cousins, finding that she didn't have anything in common with them and she doubted that had changed. Still, it was a nice gesture, so she didn't say anything.
They walked down the path, through the trees and soon emerged in a large open space. She could see family members from all over had gathered and didn't know whether to feel flattered or nauseous. To make things worse, they were all standing together, quietly and staring at her.
Just as the sense of unease reached the breaking point, a banner over them unfurled and they all yelled in unison the same thing that it read.
"Happy Birthday!"
Gaige was stunned. Her mind went blank as she turned to her family.
"Happy birthday sweetheart." Her dad said.
"Happy birthday dear." Her mom said.
She just turned and found herself facing a grinning Artemis, who was holding a present that she had pulled out of her pack.
"Happy birthday." She said, then leaned in and whispered "You forgot, didn't you?"
Gaige could only nod mutely. Suddenly everything snapped into place. The other girl's oddness over the week, and actually for a bit before that. The insistence on staying this long. What she had been doing on the ship. It was all for this.
Gaige finally found her voice and whispered back "I thought you said that you weren't a planner?"
"Oh, I didn't plan this. Your father did."
"But you still remembered. Is this why you were so insistent about getting me home so soon?"
"Part of it."
"I can't believe you kept this a secret."
"It wasn't easy, trust me. But enough of that, go greet your guests, cause they're staring at us and I'm getting a little uncomfortable."
Gaige turned back to the crowd of people, some of whom looked a bit uncertain because of her silence.
Clearing her throat she stepped forward and realized that she had no idea what to say. She glanced around her, and got no help, but a few thumbs ups and sighed.
"Thanks for coming." She finally said "I guess I haven't seen most of you in a while, so I'm gonna need you to forgive me if I don't recognize you. That said, let's start this thing."
She leaned over to her dad as the crowd gave a whoop and asked "Was that good enough?"
"It was. And if it wasn't, well, this pile of meat we brought should go a long way." He answered with a laugh.
Gaige almost immediately found herself swarmed by relatives, all shouting and trying to elbow each other out of the way. She sighed as she found herself getting rocked by the constantly changing wave of faces in front of her. She managed to get herself loose for a second and looked around for help. Her father had drug Artemis over to one of the fire-pits and seemed to be insisting on her helping with the cooking. On the other side she could see her mom getting drug off by other middle-aged women who seemed to want to talk or gossip or something. Her last hope was Deathtrap, but she saw that he was similarly mobbed, this time by some of the men, and a few of the women, who were eying him like they wanted to take him apart and see what made him tick, as well as a number of children who seemed to think he was the coolest thing ever.
In the end, it was Deathtrap that got her out. He seemed to have had enough of the leering techies and grabbing children and flew straight up, escaping them, before swooping in and snagging her out of the crowd.
"Thanks babe, I don't know how much more of that I could've taken."
"Urgurr" He replied, setting her down near where her father and Artemis were starting to cook. A number of other men were also standing around some of the grills and fires, trading stories, recipes and tall tales. They looked over at her and raised their beers in a salute. She nodded back before scampering over to her dad.
"You've gotta help me." She begged "These people are outta control."
"Now honey, aren't you an adventurer? Surely you can handle something like this?" He said with a smirk.
"I could, but I don't wanna start shooting them." She retorted as the mob got closer.
"Alright, fine." He said turning to the crowd and shouting "Hey! She's not going anywhere for a while, act like adults, would you. Sheesh. Now, one at a time."
After that, there was a bit of scuffling as everyone tried to get to the front of the line, but that was ended by Deathtrap clapping his hands loudly and pointing to one person at random and getting the line started from there.
From there things went smoother, but after an hour of getting job offers, marriage proposals and other less scrupulous offers, she had to make an announcement declaring that she wasn't looking for a job, she wasn't going to invest in anything, she wouldn't be a spokesperson, model or anything of that nature, she wouldn't give any technological secrets away, and she wasn't going to date, marry, or anything with anyone.
After that, the party settled down, though there were still a few who tried anyway. Other than those, most of the people just wanted to talk. A number of the younger ones, who had grown up hearing about the Vault Hunters, wanted to hear stories from her. A few of the younger women, and a few men, wanted to get advice on their weddings. And some of them just wanted to say hi and catch up.
She was polite with those ones, trying to be helpful where she could, and in a short time, supper was called.
This turned out to be a typical party for Eden 5, with the side dishes and pre-cooked food being set on side tables that people could pick from, then they would go to the grill or fire-pit of their choice and get what they could.
Gaige, of course, found herself standing next to Artemis and eating one of the stakes she'd brought. Her dad gave her a look, and when that didn't work, leaned in and whispered "Don't be rude, you know that you need to try from all of them."
"Ug, have any of them learned how to cook since I've been away?" She hissed back.
"Doesn't matter, you need to be a gracious guest of honor."
"Couldn't I just claim that I no longer follow those traditions?"
"No, now move."
"Fine, but just a bite."
She walked to the nearest one, looking like she was being forced to fight the entire Hyperion army with only a toothbrush.
"Is that really the tradition here?" Artemis asked.
"Yeah, but I'm with her on not liking it." Seeing the confused expression on her face he continued "At every gathering, there's always at least one person that insists on cooking who should never come near a kitchen. Either they have no sense of spice, or how done it should be, or the like. And they're always the most sensitive about criticism. It's just a huge pain."
"So why did you force her to go then?"
"Cause if I didn't, I wouldn't hear the end of it. Every gathering for the rest of my life, I'd hear how my daughter didn't try their whatever, how it was an insult, yadda yadda yadda, and I would rather her be polite, then me have to face that."
"Oh."
Artemis looked over to where Gaige was trying the food of someone, probably an uncle or such and a well-built man about her age had walked up and was obviously hitting on her. Even at the distance, Artemis could tell that the guy oozed confidence. She couldn't tell how well he was doing, since Gaige's back was turned, but from the guy's smile, she had to wonder.
"Don't worry." Gaige's dad said quietly to her "My daughter knows a fool when she sees one."
"I should be worried, she hangs out with me."
Gaige's dad looked at her, hoping that she was joking, but knowing that she wasn't, he tried to cheer her up "Exactly, she knows that you're not a fool."
Her counter was interrupted by a familiar voice "Man, I can't stand that guy."
She turned and saw Gabe walk up, holding a plate. Forgetting her worries, she flattened her expression as he neared.
Noticing this Gaige's dad whispered "It's alright, he was invited."
Ignorant of what was being discussed, Gabe continued "Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I should get some of the best food here before it was gone."
Catching the look from Artemis he clarified "Well, both Gaige and her dad headed straight to you to get food from. And they probably know the quality of the cooks around here."
After getting nudged by Gaige's dad, she dumped a piece of meat on Gabe's plate without any gentleness.
He took a bite, as if he hadn't noticed and looked at her "I don't think you get how this is supposed to work. See this is good, and that never happens at these things. It's always like everyone's trying to either make the worst food they can get away with serving to another human, or experimenting with spice a bit too much."
He took another bite and after swallowing added "I also wanted to come over and thank you. I know that you don't like me, that was pretty clear, but you still helped convince Gaige to listen to me. And for that, I am grateful. I don't think she would've listened to me if you hadn't been there."
"I didn't do it for you."
"I know, but I still wanted to thank you."
"Fine."
"Well, I should get out of here before Gaige spots me."
"If you think that, why did you come?"
"For the free food, and to help set the place up."
"He was a big help." Gaige's dad added "We couldn't exactly be here to set things up and get it organized, so the missus asked him to help."
"Yeah, I think she's got the wrong idea about me, no offense."
"None taken."
"Wait, what idea?"
"That we should hook up. Me and Gaige that is."
"And you don't like her?"
"Not really, you see, I want a girl who's happy settling down. Who wants to stay put. Not to say one that stays home or anything like that, but one who's happy being here. And, well, Gaige obviously isn't. I don't think she's ever going to be the kind that wants to stay in the same place for very long. She's a child of the stars now, as I've heard it called. That's not a bad thing. And it doesn't mean that she wants to be alone, she just needs someone to travel with her. I think you're much the same, you don't want to call anywhere home."
"My ship is my home."
"Exactly. You don't want to stay anywhere, long term I mean, do you?"
"No."
"She's the same, and I like it here. And I would never ask someone to give that up for me, just like I wouldn't want someone to try and make me leave home for them."
"I think I get it."
"Good, well, it was good talking to you. Thanks again." He turned to Gaige's dad "I'll see you at work."
"Bye Gabe." He said as the young man walked away.
During the entire exchange, Artemis had been keeping an eye on the situation with Gaige. As their conversation had progressed she had seen that the guy kept trying new ways to try and hit on her, until Gaige had walked away. Unfortunately for her, the guy followed her to the next grill and kept going. Just as Artemis was about to leave her cooking post, Deathtrap patted her on the shoulder and went flying over to introduce himself to the guy.
Artemis shook her head and turned back to the fire only to find herself facing a child. They were looking around like they had lost a bet and a short ways off she could see a gathering of most of the children at the party, shooing them on.
She fixed the kid with a look that made them flinch back and glance at the rest of the kids, before swallowing hard and managing to ask "Are you a monster?"
"Yes." She answered flatly.
"Really?" The kid seemed excited for some reason "Where're you from?"
"Space."
"What'cha doin?"
"Cooking."
"What?"
"Meat."
"Can I have some?"
Artemis sighed and looked around for help, but found that all the parents were busy, including Gaige's dad, who had wandered over to another grill and was talking to someone. She looked at the kid, holding out their plate and grabbed the smallest piece off the grill, before dropping it onto the plate.
"Thanks monster lady." The kid said before dashing back to the others, who looked at them in awe. Seconds later the hoard of kids descended on her, all holding their plates out. Groaning inwardly, she snatched a large chunk of meat off the grill and dropped it onto her own plate. She quickly sliced it into thin strips and dropped those onto the outstretched plates, before trying to shoo the kids away.
It didn't work. The next thing she knew, the kids were all shouting questions at her, like 'Where are you from?' and 'Why're you purple?', but mostly it was a chorus of 'Tell us a story.'
"No." She replied flatly.
"Tell us a story!" They repeated, over and over.
"Don't you kids have parents to go bother?" She growled, which only got the chant to repeat.
"Fine." She shouted in exasperation "Just one, alright? Then you're gonna leave me alone."
"Yay!"
She started quoting the first story that came to mind, which was, The Lonely Siren but was immediately interrupted.
"No, tell us one of your stories." The first kid yelled.
"What do ya mean, my stories?"
"You're from space, so tell us about it."
Artemis stared at the kid, unsure of what they were asking, but eventually, she told the story of her fighting the 'Keeper of the End' and the subsequent monster she fought in the volcano.
The kids seemed to love the story and as soon as she was done, demanded another.
"You agreed to one." She flatly rejected them.
"We never agreed." One of the kids said, before another added "Yeah, 'sides, wasn't it one each?"
"No. Now scram."
Eventually they gave up and went off to bug someone else.
"You seem good with kids. You want some of your own?" A voice to her side asked, dripping with self-confidence. Artemis turned and found herself facing the guy that had been hitting on Gaige a short while ago. Groaning, she turned back to the fire, trying to ignore him.
Not taking the hint he leaned in and added "I might be persuaded to help if you want."
"Not interested."
"Aw come on, I could show you a good time, one that even someone like you wouldn't forget."
"Not. Interested."
"Don't be that way, I'm just tryin to be polite, get to know you a little. But as long as I'm here, could I get a piece of your meat, and if not, could I interest you in a piece of mine?"
Artemis turned slowly to glare at him. "No. And if you want your meat slapped on the grill, find a different one."
The guy's buddies laughed and one of them added "Oh, she's got fire."
"I'm standing in front of a grill, of course I've got fire. Idiot." She muttered.
"Come on, feed us. It's traditional at these parties to give food to those who ask."
"Where I'm from, it's traditional to not give food to something that you want to go away, lest it decides to stay."
"Aw, why're you being so cold to us? Give us a chance and we'll warm you up."
"Not interested."
"You're just saying that."
"Cause I mean it."
"Nah, I know your type, playin hard to get. But you want it, I can tell."
"I'm not playing anything, I don't like you."
"Aw, quit bein mean to me, you just need to open up to me, and I'll thaw that frozen heart of yours."
"Look, get it through your thick skull, I'm not interested. You're not my type."
"I'm every girl's type."
"So go find every girl and bother her."
He was about to retort when he noticed a presence behind him. Turning he found himself facing the center of Deathtrap's chest.
"Urgurrur"
"Er, let's go guys, plenty of other girls here, so why waste time on this frigid bitch." He said with as much dignity as he could and scuttled off, nearly tripping over himself as he did.
Watching him go, Artemis turned and said "Thanks buddy, he just wasn't getting it."
"Urgurr"
She looked down and saw that her fingers were, in fact, whitened as she gripped the handle to her pistol. Forcing her hand to relax, she managed to let go, and she let out a long, shaky breath.
A short time later, Gaige and her dad made their way back, having finished the rest of her circuit in relative peace, ending at the pit that her dad had been at.
"Ugh" She moaned as soon as she got back "Why is everyone in my family such lousy cooks? Mom excluded of course. But seriously, I don't remember them being this bad"
"They're not that bad." Her dad countered.
"Really?"
"Your tastes have just changed while you were away."
"Is that what it is? Cause whatever Uncle Marlon was cooking up, shouldn't even be considered food."
"Oh? So he won this time?"
"Yeah, but don't tell him that."
"Won what?" Artemis asked, genuinely confused by the conversation.
"Oh, ever since I was little, I hated doing this, so dad suggested that I hold a contest to see who made the worst food. Unofficially, of course."
"That seems mean."
"So is making me eat that food."
They fell into silence as Gaige massaged her stomach. Artemis shrugged and started eating, while continuing to cook. Eventually the sun started to set and everyone finished milling around while a number of them started clearing the central area.
"Ah crap." Gaige muttered.
"What?"
"Looks like they're still doing this."
Catching the confused look from the other girl, she just shook her head.
"The dance is going to be starting soon." Her father said, stepping in.
"So? A dance at a birthday isn't that weird."
"The dance isn't the problem" Gaige said with a sigh "It's the other tradition."
"You'll see." Was all her dad added.
It didn't take long for the area to get cleared and at the edge of the area, near one of the tables, a device was set up.
As soon as it was set up, there was a line forming. Artemis looked on confused. She glanced over at Gaige, and to her amazement she found the other girl trying to hide behind her. Turning back, she watched as the first person picked up the gun that had been placed on the table and slapped the clip in. He nodded to the person by the device and then pulled the gun up. The other person pressed a button and immediately ten glowing spheres popped out and started flying around in random patterns. The guy with the gun started to try and track them and fired off ten rounds, causing four of the glowing spheres to go dark. Sighing, he put the rifle down and left the line as the next person stepped up.
"What the heck is this all about?" Artemis asked.
"It's a tradition on Eden 5." Gaige finally said "Whomever can hit the most of the lights with their ten shots gets the privilege of having the last dance with the birthday girl. Or boy. There's also an urban legend that if you get that dance, you've got a better chance to score with them."
"Oh. That sucks."
"Tell me about it."
They watched in silence as the next dozen guys took their shots. They even saw Gabe take a turn, and though he did well, getting six, he didn't displace the current high score of seven.
"What happens in a tie?"
"Usually they go again, though sometimes, the birthday girl will get to choose. It's mostly determined by what the crowd wants."
They looked over and groaned, the next shooter was the guy who'd been hitting on Gaige. He smirked to the rest of them and said something that got glares from half of the guys. About half of the remaining ones just got out of line and slunk off, causing the girls to look around in confusion.
"Ah crap." Came a familiar, if a bit unwelcome voice to their side. Looking over they found Gabe standing there. Despite Gaige's glare he continued "I didn't realize that Miles was here. He hasn't lost one of these in the last three years."
"Wait, how do you know that?" Artemis asked.
"Well, my aunt remarried Gaige's second cousin, I think it was, so I'm almost family."
The smirking guy, Miles, stepped up and fired off his ten shots with confidence, and to everyone's horror, he hit all ten.
Shouldering the rifle, he turned to the crowd and declared "That's it, the winner's been chosen."
The rest of the line broke apart, disheartened.
Gaige groaned as he started swaggering over, slapping some of his buddies a high five as he did.
Artemis watched, and suddenly strode forward. She walked up to Miles and held her hand out.
"What's this? You wanna dance with me after seeing my magnificence with the rifle? I mean, who could blame you. You almost missed your chance earlier, but I might just be persuaded to give you another shot."
"Shut it." She replied "And hand over the gun."
"What? You wanna try?"
"There isn't a rule against it, is there?"
"No, but what kind of girl wants to dance with a chick? Besides, there's no way you could beat me."
"I can tie."
"No. There's no way a chick could handle a rifle that well, but maybe you could try your hands on my magnum."
"Give me the gun." Came the cold reply, even as half the women there started yelling insults at him.
"Fine." He said, a bit unnerved by the crowd turning on him "But when you embarrass yourself, just remember that I warned you."
She grabbed the gun from his hand and walked over to the table. Picking up the clip she slapped it in and checked the gun out. It was some older DAHL rifle that she wasn't familiar with, not that she had much experience with any of the DAHL line. Still, as long as it shot straight, she shouldn't have any problems.
She nodded to the person at the device and they pressed the button, launching the spheres.
Tracking them she aimed and pulled the trigger, only to have the gun snap off two rounds before she got her finger off it.
Ignoring the groaning coming from the crowd and the derisive laughter coming from the jerk, she checked the side of the rifle and spotted the selector switch sitting on full auto. She mentally kicked herself for not checking it earlier, but it was too late now. Seeing that the other option was burst, she left it where it was and instead focused on the spheres, tracing their paths through the darkening sky.
She shouldered the rifle and taking her time, fired off seven more rounds darkening the rest of the spheres, before ejecting the clip and racking the slide to clear the last round.
Setting them on the table, she turned to the crowd, most of whom had their jaws hanging open.
"What?" she said.
"Looks like we have a winner." Gaige's dad declared.
"Hey! I also hit ten." Miles yelled "Just cause she got lucky and hit two with a shot, doesn't mean that they count differently."
"She did that twice, so I doubt it was luck." One of his friends said unhelpfully.
"If you want to go again, we can." Artemis said.
"I don't think that'll be necessary." Gaige said stepping forward "I believe the birthday girl gets to choose."
The crowd nodded and Miles smirked at Artemis, knowing that any girl would choose him over a scrawny chick like her.
"Obviously, I choose her." Gaige said, throwing her arm around Artemis's shoulder before whispering "Thanks."
The crowd cheered and shoved the stunned Miles out of the way, quickly clearing the central area as a group of the family got instruments out and started playing. Before long the central area was filled with dancing.
The girls quickly found themselves sitting off to the side, even as a steady stream of other family members came over. Many were just there to congratulate Artemis, it turned out that many of them had been waiting for someone to knock Miles down a peg for a while. It seemed that they weren't happy with him dancing with their wives or daughters.
Others asked the girls to dance, and while Gaige did accept a few invites, Artemis turned them all down. Gaige tried to get her to go out, but she declined, one dance to embarrass herself would be more than enough.
Still, the rest of the night passed quickly and before they knew it, it was time for the last dance. Everyone started pouring out into the dance area, while Gaige went over to the band and put in her request for a song. Grabbing Artemis's hand, she led them out to the center of the area, despite the stream of protests coming from the other girl.
"You didn't dance with anyone else tonight, so deal with it." Came the reply.
"I don't know enough dances to use up one of the few I did know before now."
"That excuse doesn't even make sense."
The girls fell silent as the music started and they started dancing. Slowly they made their way around, repeating the same dance that Gaige had first taught her on Talion 6. As they drifted past, a few couples smiled at them, others nodded. Some were caught up in their own world as they went past.
"Looking good honey." Her dad said as they went past.
"Thanks, I had a good teacher."
"And where can I find this handsome devil that taught you so well?"
"I don't know, but I'll let you know if I see him."
As they swung off they could hear her mom saying "Don't pout dear, you set yourself up for that one."
They moved past a couple of kids awkwardly imitating the adults, as well as a few parents dancing with their kids, when they found themselves moving past Miles and his friends.
"Tch" He sneered "Should've known they were dykes, why else would they have passed up on me."
Gaige shot him a dirty look and tossed his way "You don't have to be gay to not want to be around someone cursed with your personality."
She was about to move one, when she realized that Artemis had frozen up.
Before she could say anything to her, Miles retorted "The only things I'm cursed with is the misfortune of being this good looking, that and wasting my time with freaks like you. I mean, I wish you'd just told me from the start, could've saved me some effort. Though I should've known, I mean, there's no way a real girl could've beat me at shooting."
Gaige felt the heat rising and wanted to shout back, but she caught the rest of the party out of the corner of her eye, and remembered where she was, so instead she just tossed a "Losers sure do like to cry." his way and then tried to pull Artemis away, only to have the other girl pull away from her and run off without a word.