"And now—" Rocky began to speak.
"SAY ROCKY!" Bulllwinkle exclaimed. "WATCH ME PULL A RABBIT OUTTA MY HAT!"
"Again?!" Rocky hollered.
"Nuthin' up muh sleeve..." Bullwinkle ripped his entire left tuxedo sleeve, then placed his hand into the hat. "...Presto!"
Nothing came out of the hat, except for a few drops of sea water.
"Hmm...maybe I gotta reach a little more.." Bullwinkle shoved his entire arm in there.
Instead of a rabbit, this time Bullwinkle managed to pull out a vicious shark, who promptly ate him.
"ROCKYYYYYYYYY!!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, muffled by the shark's guts.
"Oh boy, not this again..." Rocky sighed, then walked off stage. "I'll get the shotgun...and the carjack."
————————
"AND NOW, WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR—oh, wait, a note...ahem...we interrupt this program to bring you a short word from our sponsor...wait, "Raskolnikov" by BORIS?!! WHAT THE F—"
——————
(*jazzy music plays, the video is slo-mo and black and white, showing a beach scene. The camera slides up the hairy, cellulite-riddled legs, buttocks, then rather fat, pasty white body of Boris, who is wearing a very unflattering black thong.)
"Do ju vant SCENT?"
(*Boris runs down the beach in slo-mo, "Baywatch"-style, his large gut jiggling as well. He leaps into the ocean.*)
"Do ju vant scent dat make other peoples say...VOW? Vat about da voomahns, ju vanna make dem say vow, too?"
(*Natasha, wearing a two-piece swimsuit stops and notices Boris.*)
"Vell, look no further and try new cologne by Boris Badenov, dat make people say more than VOW...vhen they smell ju, they gonna say..."
(*Boris sprays said cologne upon his body. Natasha speaks in a whispered voice;*)
"...Raskolnikov..."
"JES, EES RASKOLNIKOV by Boris! Buy now vherever fine colognes ees sold!"
(*Boris and Natasha start open-mouth kissing. The next statement is read extremely fast*)
"WARNING, DO NOT PURCHASE RASKOLNIKOV BY BORIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. SPRAYING RASKOLNIKOV BY BORIS ANYWHERE ON THE BODY OR INHALING SAID SUBSTANCE MAY LEAD TO SUDDEN DEATH, PAINFUL SWELLING, PAINFUL WEIGHT GAIN, INTERNAL BLEEDING, HALITOSIS, TUBERCULOSIS, HYSTERICAL-FAKE-DISEASEOSIS, PROBLEMS IN THE BATHROOM AS WELL AS THE BEDROOM AND YOUR ENTIRE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM COLLAPSING LIKE A CHEAP LAWN CHAIR. CARLA I'M SO SORRY I LEFT YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO BUT FRANKLY YOUR PARENTS DON'T RESPECT ME AS A MAN AND I HAVE LEFT YOU FOR A WOMAN WHO WILL ACTUALLY TREAT ME RIGHT AND I'LL GET DOWN ON MY KNEES TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE DESIRES BECAUSE SHE IS ALL I'VE EVER WANTED. YOU HEARD ME. SHE WORKS AT A RESPECTABLE POSITION, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, NOT AS A BUSBOY AT LUBY'S!! NEED I REPEAT MYSELF?!"
———
"Hmm...well folks, I dunno about you but that was WEIRD. Well, back to the show."
