Chapter 6

Jarrod sat on his bed, an unlit cigar in his hand. The evening was passing by much too slowly for his taste. He thought of going to the saloon, but the idea didn't appeal to him. He had brought along a book to read but found that didn't hold his interest either. He stood to begin getting ready for bed when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Who is it?" he called, not expecting any visitors especially this time of night. He glanced at the small clock in the room. It was just after 8:00.

"It's Juliann," came the soft reply. Jarrod opened the door quickly and there she stood. He could hardly believe it.

"Are you going to let me in?" she asked.

Jarrod backed away allowing her to enter then closed the door. His room was at the top of the stairs, in clear view of the hotel clerk's desk. Joe, who had only been working at the hotel for a few months, had stepped away to take care of his personal needs. He didn't see Juliann come into the lobby and look at the register. He only saw her enter room 12. Joe looked at the register and saw the name signed by the room number. He shrugged, knowing that what went on was none of his business.

Inside Jarrod's room, he stood leaning against the door with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. His words came out more abrupt than he had intended. He saw the tears start to form in her eyes before Juliann could turn away from him. He dropped his hands and put them in his pockets, trying to keep himself from walking over and taking her in his arms.

In truth, Juliann didn't know why she was here. She had fully intended to go to her friend, Molly's as she had told her mother earlier. But knowing Jarrod was in town, and only for the one night she couldn't resist the pull to see him.

She took a deep breath and turned around. She noticed that his look had softened but was still guarded. His hands were in his pockets, the sleeves of his crisp white shirt rolled up, showing his tan forearms. The top few buttons of his shirt were open, his tie having been discarded long ago. There was a smattering of hair that showed at the top of his shirt. Juliann took a step forward, closing the gap between them. She looked up at Jarrod's face and felt lost in the coolness of his blue eyes.

Juliann bit her lip in uncertainty. Jarrod's eyes were drawn to the action. He couldn't resist leaning in to taste her. Juliann didn't deny him, and knew the moment their lips touched, that it was all over. She wouldn't be able to hold out against him as she had before, and he felt just as powerless to resist her. Their kiss deepened, Jarrod's tongue moving to her lips and Juliann opened her mouth to accept him. It seemed so natural, so right and yet wrong at the same time. Both knew they needed stop, and each pulled away, their breathing coming in gasps.

"We should stop," Juliann whispered, her eyes on Jarrod's mouth.

"Yes," was all he said, his hand on the side of her neck, feeling her pulse. He was pleased that he had been the one to cause it to race.

"I don't want to," Juliann admitted, finally looking Jarrod in the eye, but she stepped back causing him to drop his hand away.

It was at this moment they both knew they had a decision to make. Do they walk away from each other? Or do they give in to their wants, their desires?

Juliann decided first and stepped closer to Jarrod putting her hand on the side of his face, feeling the scruff of his cheek. She pressed her body close and leaned up to kiss him. He gently grabbed her wrist but didn't push her away.

"Jules," Jarrod whispered. "What about Simeon? He's got to be wondering where you are."

"Simeon's at the saloon, playing poker," she replied softly. Her eyes stayed on his lips as she spoke. "He'll think that I'm over at my mother's and she thinks I'm staying with a friend who just had a baby."

She looked into his eyes then and saw them darken with desire.

It seemed to be all taken care of then. Jarrod's heart was racing. How he wanted to take her in his arms and be with her completely. He opened his mouth to speak again. Juliann brough her finger up and placed it on his lips.

"Shh," she said. "Just one night, Jarrod. That's all I want with you. I've always wondered...I've always wanted to know what it would be like with you."

He felt his body responding and knew he wouldn't turn her away. Jarrod was tired of fighting and he crushed her to himself, pressing his lips on hers. His tongue began its assault and she gave him back every bit of passion he was giving her. Jarrod's mouth slanted over hers again and again and the passion they had felt that night in his office was rekindled. Although he didn't want to, Jarrod made them go slowly. He wanted this to last for as long as possible. Juliann let him set the pace. She knew she wouldn't be disappointed. They lay down, not caring where they were, hands moving as if they had a will of their own. Moans and gasps could be heard exciting each all the more. Clothes were discarded hurriedly, both eager to feel bare flesh.

Juliann thought she would go mad with the feel of Jarrod's lips on her neck. But when he moved lower and allowed his mouth to cover her breast, she gasped, grabbing his head and encouraging him to continue. He was bringing forth sensations in her she'd never felt before, not in her 15 years of marriage to Simeon.

Jarrod wanted to savor each feeling, each sensation. It was as though he'd been waiting all his life to be with her. The moment came for their bodies to join as one and for just the briefest of seconds, Jarrod considered asking Juliann if she wanted to stop. But he couldn't bring himself to do it, knowing he had to be with her completely.

The bed creaked and groaned under their weight and movement, but neither of them cared. Their bodies moved in perfect harmony and rhythm, Juliann relishing each touch from Jarrod. As the feeling in the pit of her stomach grew, Jarrod seeming to sense it and he would slow down, not wanting this precious time with Juliann to end too soon. Over and over he took her to the brink and then pulled back. Juliann was enjoying the sensations, having never experienced them before. Time ceased to exist. Finally, Jarrod was ready to push her over the edge. The feeling again grew in the pit of her stomach – Juliann thought she knew what to expect from the many times before. This time was different. Jarrod was masterful, each thrust pushing her closer and closer to the edge until she couldn't contain it. It began to frighten her because she'd never felt anything like it before. She was about to cry out for Jarrod to stop when her world exploded around her. Jarrod knew the moment Juliann found her fulfillment covering her mouth with his own to contain the scream she wanted to bring forth. He then buried his face in her neck to muffle his own sound of blissful release. She felt incapable of moving any longer and Jarrod collapsed on top of her.

When she finally found her voice, Juliann asked, "Jarrod. What just happened?"

He looked up at her, a small smile on his face. He placed a gentle kiss on her mouth before answering.

"What do you mean?"

"I...I've never...It's never been that way," she whispered, embarrassed for having said anything. Jarrod moved to her side and propped his head up on his elbow.

"You mean, you and Simeon..."

Juliann swallowed. She shook her head, tears close to the surface.

"We...uh...it's never been very...He...he gets his needs taken care of and then..." she couldn't believe she'd just finished making love to this man and was now too embarrassed to talk to him. It didn't make sense. But for the first time in her life, Juliann felt as though she'd given everything to someone and had been accepted.

"I'm sorry," was all Jarrod said.

The full impact of what they'd done was hitting them both. They had committed adultery and there was no denying or sugar coating it. Juliann was married and that was that. Whether her marriage was a happy one or not didn't matter. Each lost in their thoughts, they eventually fell asleep, Jarrod pushing aside any guilt for the moment, loving the feel of her in his arms.

A few hours later, Juliann wasn't sure what woke her but Jarrod's even breathing told her he was still asleep. His arm was draped around her waist and she loved the feel of him against her. She replayed what they had done and pushed away any guilt she felt. She would have plenty of time for that later. She wanted to enjoy these last moments with him. She glanced over at the clock. The lamp in the room was burning low but enough that she could see it was just past 1:30 in the morning. She couldn't believe how much she wanted him again and tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. This is how it was supposed to be with her husband. She closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to bring Simeon into this. She didn't want him to taint these memories.

Jarrod started to stir, and Juliann felt him pull her closer. He began to nuzzle her neck and although she knew she needed to stop him, she couldn't. No, that wasn't right…she wouldn't. She knew she wasn't going to have this again and she wanted him one more time. Just one more.

Jarrod seemed to sense her desire and rolled over on top of her. He could see her face and hesitated, but she pulled his face toward her and again they were lost to their desires, as wrong as they were.

After going to the heights of pleasure again, they rose and dressed slowly, both uncertain of what the other was thinking. Once they finished, they turned to each other.

"Jarrod." "Juliann," they said at the same time. Jarrod placed a finger on her lips to keep her quiet.

"I let things get out of hand," he said quietly. She reached up and took his hand in hers.

"I'm not sorry. At least not much," she said, feeling embarrassed. She looked down at her feet then met his eyes again. "To be able to feel what I felt when we...I'll cherish it always."

"Earlier, when I said I'm sorry," Jarrod paused. He took a deep breath and continued. "I didn't mean I was sorry that this happened. I am…to a degree…but I think I'm even more sorry that you aren't happy. And that I can't do anything about it."

Juliann smiled sadly, raising her hand to caress his cheek, the feel of stubble scratching her palm.

Jarrod kissed her tenderly again and then walked her to the door. She saw that the clerk was dozing at his desk. She looked back at Jarrod, smiled softly and walked away. Jarrod closed the door, then went to sit on the bed. It was only 5:30. The stage wouldn't be leaving for a few hours and he'd left instructions with the front desk to be awakened at a certain time. He decided to get a few more hours of sleep, then he'd get ready for the day. He had enjoyed his time with Juliann immensely. But the guilt he felt afterwards was enormous. What kind of marriage did she have that she could come to him like she did? What kind of marriage did she have that she said she had never before felt what she had tonight with him? He didn't place all the blame at her feet. He could have told her no. But he had wanted her as much as she had wanted him. It was with those thoughts that Jarrod eventually drifted off into a troubled sleep.