Chapter 6

When Jay came out of Ally's room, Hayley was in the kitchen, pacing round the island. Worry and fear etched on to her pale face. Her hair in a bun on her head. Jay stood and watched her. Taking in the beauty in front of him, Hayley's skin, her lips, he just wanted to kiss them. Take her in his arms and kiss away the worry and make her smile. He loved her smile. The way she could light up a room with it. Her laugh a tinkle of bells that rang through the office. He loved the way he could read what she was thinking, just a glance in her direction and he knew what she wanted or where she wanted him to go. He looked at her and he realized she was distracted. Quietly he made his presence known.

"Hayley!"

She looked up at him, stood by the kitchen door. The God stood in her kitchen door way, looked so out of place, his beauty and stature meant only for palaces and mansions, he set the butterflies in her stomach free. He had called her name but he looked miles away, His eyebrows drawn together as if he was thinking about something. With a quick glance Hayley normally knew what he was thinking, but right now it was like her brain didn't want her to know. The only thing she could see in his eyes, was confusion.

"Yeah, sorry you want a drink or something?"

"Please, beer if you have it, thanks."

Hayley got a beer out of the fridge, walked to him and held it out too him. As Jay took the beer, he took the opportunity to place his hand on her hip. She stopped, stood in front of him, she looked up at him. Her breath hitching as their eyes met.

They stood looking at each other, Jay asking Hayley if she was OK with his facial expression, Hayley taking a deep breath and looking at the floor. Jay placed his beer on the side, his hand not leaving her side, taking a step towards her, he placed his finger under her chin, lifting it. Her eyes snapped up to meet his, she was biting on the inside of her lip.

"You know, I'm here if you want to talk. I'm not going to force you too, but I just want you to know I'm here."

"I'm OK just.. I don't know how to.. What is this, us I mean, what is it?"

His signature boyish smirk, made her feel 15 again. Heat rising from her stomach to her chest. Nothing prepared her for his reply.

"We, are hopefully getting to know each other in a personal capacity. Hayley, I trust you with my life, I'd follow you to the end of the earth if you asked me too and I wouldn't question it. I've never actually felt like this before, come on let's sit down."

Grabbing their drinks, they went into the living room and sat down. They twisted on the sofa so they sat looking at each other.

"My last partner Erin, I fell for her. We fooled around and she and I got close. I thought that she was THE one, to the point I was ready to ask her to marry me. And she left, I was fooling myself, she didn't feel the same about me. I realized she actually just wanted a good time. Which we had, Pissing Voight off was an added bonus for her. It hurt more than anything I have ever experienced. I have known you less than six months and I'm ready to lay my heart out on a platter for you! I know it sounds crazy and if you are not there yet that's OK. Its just you asked and I'm not going to lie and mess about. We have Ally to think about. Whatever decision is made needs to have her needs and feelings met 100%!"

Hayley sat looking at Jay. Her mouth open, stunned. What the fluff was that. The butterflies were multiplying, her heart was in her mouth she couldn't think straight. Standing up she wiped away a tear, wrapped her arms around herself and asked Jay to leave.

Jay was stunned.

"Please leave and don't call me again. I'm not going to be at work again, I'm transferring out. Please don't make this harder than it is." Tears streamed down her face, she stood up and walked back to the kitchen. She stood with her back to the door. Jay was still trying to figure out what just happened.

"Hayley? Forget I said anything I'm sorry. Just sleep on it OK I'm sorry I'm going now."

With that Hayley was stood alone in the kitchen. Sobbing. She managed to calm down. Her phone was ringing, Vanessa.

"Hey, listen Jay just called me. I'm outside open up."

She let out a heavy sigh and walked towards the door. Vanessa enveloped her in a hug. Squeezed her tight. Walking into the living they sat on the sofa. Déjà vu hit Hayley

"Come on spill, what happened?" Vanessa demanded

"I can't explain it right now, it's just a mess. He made this big declaration and it's hard because I manage to screw all my relationships up and they all hurt me and leave or sleep with someone else. I can't be hurt again. He deserves better than me anyway."

It was Vanessa who was stunned this time.

"Hey, we all know Jay is head over heels for you. He would never hurt you. What could you do to screw this up? He adores you. I'm pretty sure you could do anything and he would forgive you.. Just give him a chance. Take it slow. Nobody is telling you to marry him and pop out a few babies."

"That's just it. I can't open up to him, not personally. I just have to break it off now before I end up hurting him. It's better this way I promise you"

Vanessa sighed, she could tell this conversation was at its end.

"Look I am going to go; I have to get up in the morning. Just think about it OK."

"Thanks, keep in touch OK."

"You really are leaving the unit aren't you?"

"I am, it's for the best!"

"For who, Jay is going to be broken. But that's OK cause you will not be there to see it or deal with it. Look do what you want maybe it's best you go and break him now. At least it will be a clean break and"

"Vanessa, you can't guilt me into dating a guy. Look I'll admit I like the guy, but I have to keep everyone safe. That includes him. I'm going to bed lock up on your way out or don't I don't care." With that Vanessa found herself stood in the living room by herself.

"Shit!" she cursed as she walked away.

The next morning when Vanessa walked into the precinct Platt wasn't on her throne. As she walked into the bullpen, it was empty except for Jay.

"Hey, where is everyone?"

"Don't actually know, I walked in here and I've been alone for half an hour. No text or calls so I assume we can catch up on paperwork. Listen I'm sorry I dragged you into this with Hayley. I'm sure she will come round when she is ready." He said

"Jay this is really hard for me to say but, maybe you should just let her go! Just you deserve better than someone who is going to string you along for months and then drop you when she has finished playing games. She is messed up and you deserve so much more." It hurt, her heart ached to say it, but if it helped Jay then it's what she would do. He was like a brother to her and she needed him whole, not broken into tiny pieces. This was going to shatter the team, speaking of the team, where is everyone?

Vanessa text the group chat they had going. *Where r u guys did I miss the memo to have a vacation day?*

Jay made Coffee and sat back at his desk. There was no paperwork for him to do. He'd done Hayley's too she just needed to sign it. If she came back. He was trying so hard to forget about last night. He missed Ally, it had been 15 hours and he missed her so much. He decided to go home. He text hank to tell him he was going home. He asked if he had seen Hayley. No reply.

On the way home he went by Hayley's. He stopped outside. Before he knew what was happening, he was knocking on her door. Nobody answered. Spinning he went back to his car. He loved Hayley and he needed to find her. He rang her phone. No reply.

Sitting in his car, he waited. An hour later and Hayley and Ally pulled up. Hayley saw Jay and ignoring him she carried on into the house. He received a text. *Go home Jay. *

He replied *please talk to me get Vanessa to look after Ally and come on a drive please? *

*Vanessa won't talk to me; I've been with Hank and Trudy all day. Just come in Jay. *

Hayley opened the door. Jay entered the house, she sat on the sofa and looked at him.

"Well, what do you want Jay, why isn't my word enough?"

"Tell me you don't feel the same?"

Tears rolled down her face Jay moved to kneel in front of her.

"I'm not going to pressure you or force you, I'm in love with you, and I can't hide it. I'm so in love with you I want to give up my job to stay home with Ally. I want to run to my brother and get my mother's engagement ring and propose to you. Then I want to marry you, but if you want to be just friends then I will just be your friend, you mean to much to me to loose you as a friend."

Hayley was quiet.

"What if I mess it up, what if you end up hating me and Ally has to stop seeing the people in her life, because I want to jump you. I feel the same way as you do." Tears streamed down her face and Jay wiped them away with his thumbs.

"We can stake this slow and steady. No rushing into anything. I'm not going anywhere Hayley I promise."

"Can we just take it as it comes, I can't promise that it will be easy but I'm game if you are." Smiling Jay threw his arms around her pulling her into a hug.