On Friday morning, Tobias woke up before his alarm went off. It was transplant day.
He knew from his first foray into IVF that there was a chance that the transplant wouldn't implant. There was also the chance that it would but, for whatever reason, the pregnancy wouldn't be successful. That was always the case with IVF. But the stakes felt higher with only six of his and Lauren's embryos to work with.
He, Max, and Veronica had very consciously decided that they wouldn't put any pressure on Tris. They trusted her to follow the doctors' orders, and telling her how few chances they had would only add unnecessary stress, which would actually hurt their chances of a successful pregnancy.
Tobias grabbed his phone to check the time, and saw a message from Tris.
T: Happy transplant day! I'm so excited for you and your family. I've been following all of my doctor's directions, I'm feeling great, and I'm ready to go.
Tobias smiled at his phone. She'd told them the same things at dinner the night before after recognizing that the entire menu was composed of foods that are recommended for boosting fertility. Veronica had sheepishly admitted that she wanted to help in some way, so she had done an online search. Tris took it well, and even admitted that she'd searched for the same information.
The two women bonded over their love for cooking, and several times had promised to send each other certain favorite recipes. Tobias could clearly see how the two women - one who'd lost a mother and one who'd lost a daughter - enjoyed their time together.
He'd also seen that Max was quieter than usual, and how he looked at Veronica and Tris with affection. A few times during dinner, Max had choked up watching them.
When the ladies took the dishes to the kitchen, Veronica returned a moment later with two cold beers. "You boys go sit on the patio," she said, shooing them out the door.
Outside, Max adjusted the shade awning, then took a long pull of his beer. "I haven't seen Ronnie this… happy? Confident? Anyway, I haven't seen her this content since Lauren died. Tris gives her a purpose again. You should have seen her searching the internet, pouring over cookbooks, and shopping for this dinner. She wanted to give that girl the very best of everything tonight. I know you hired her for a purpose, but Ronnie might just decide to adopt her.
"They email all the time. Like several times a day. At first I worried that she was unconsciously trying to replace Lauren, but then I read some of the messages. They mostly talk about Lauren. They talk about Tris' family, and what it's like to go on without the ones you love. They talk about you, too."
"Me?" Tobias had asked. "Why me?"
"Because they're good women," Max said with a smile before taking another drink of his beer. "They're instinctually nurturing, and you're on your own. You've seen it in that neighbor lady who brings you cookies, and in Hana Pedrad. Shauna, too. Women tend to be caretakers. You experienced a great loss. Their instinct is to help by nurturing you with sugar and hugs."
Tobias had only laughed dryly in response. He chuckled again thinking about it on Friday morning. It seemed that his loss had awoken the maternal instinct of the women who crossed his path.
.
A shower later, Tobias got in his compact car and headed to the dealership. He wanted an upgrade before he had a baby, car seat, and stroller to juggle, and he decided that as an act of good faith, he would buy it that morning. The first errand his new SUV would run was taking Tris to the transplant appointment.
Car shopping was not Tobias' favorite thing to do. Sure, he did his research in advance, and he knew what he wanted and where it was in stock. And yes, he had a solid trade-in and the funds to buy what he wanted. But the process was never enjoyable.
He survived by being very straightforward with the sales people. He told them that knew what he wanted, and what he was willing to spend. He also had an appointment to keep. Either they could get it done, or he would walk away and take his money elsewhere. He was reasonable about the money, so the salesman made it happen.
Right on time, Tobias left the dealership in his new black Ford Escape. He got the package with leather interior and a turbo engine, and was surprised by how fun it was to drive. In no time he was parked at the church where Tris worked. Since her appointment wasn't until afternoon, she'd opted to work for the morning.
In the lobby, Tobias spotted Tris right away, seated at her desk and tapping away at her computer keyboard.
"Excuse me," he said playfully. "I understand this church has an unmarried secretary who's looking to get knocked up?"
Tris burst out laughing, and within seconds had tears rolling down her cheeks.
Her laughter brought a middle-aged man and a younger woman out of another room. The man had a kind, fatherly look about him, and the heavy-set woman had strawberry blonde curls, and deep dimples in her cheeks when she smiled brightly at them.
"Tris?" the man asked.
"Pastor Dave," Tris said, then started giggling again. "Tammy. This is Tobias Eaton, the father of the baby I'll be carrying. He…"
She broke down laughing again, and Tobias smiled. "Tris was busy when I walked in," he explained. "I walked in and said that I heard this church has an unmarried secretary who is looking to get knocked up."
"It… it just hit me funny," Tris giggled, wiping her eyes.
Tammy also found it funny, or maybe it was just Tris' reaction, but she also broke down in uncontrollable giggles. Pastor Dave smiled at the women indulgently.
For his part, Tobias felt surprisingly proud. Making Tris laugh like that gave him a sense of satisfaction he didn't understand, but didn't have time to evaluate.
"I hate to break up the fun," he said, "but we need to get going."
Tris instantly sobered, and Tobias felt a pang of guilt. He smiled reassuringly at her and held out his hand to help her stand.
"Let's have a quick word of prayer," Pastor Dave offered. Everyone nodded and Tammy grabbed Tris' other hand and one of Dave's. Dave held out a hand toward Tobias, who clasped it to complete the circle.
"Lord," the pastor began, "we thank you for the miracles of modern science, and the blessing that it makes possible for Tobias and his family. We thank you for Tris, and her generous, loving heart that wants to make this possible for them. We pray that your hand would be on the doctors today, and on the whole process. May it go smoothly, safely, and be successful. In your name we pray, amen."
"Amen," the others repeated.
Tris hugged the pastor, then Tobias shook his hand while Tris hugged Tammy. Tammy startled Tobias with a hug, which he accepted awkwardly.
"Well," Tris said, and Tobias smiled at the mischievous sparkle in her eyes, "let's go get me knocked up!"
.
Tobias paced the waiting room. He could have sworn that Lauren's IVF transfer appointment only took a few minutes, but Tris had been back there for at least a half hour. Was something wrong? Was the embryo not ready? Was Tris' body not prepared to accept it? He dragged his fingers through his dark hair and began another lap.
The receptionist, a woman Tobias did not recognize, watched him with amusement.
"You know," she said when he paced in her direction, "dads are allowed to be back there. You could have gone with your wife."
Tobias froze in place. "She's not my wife," he said.
"Sorry," the woman said flippantly. "Girlfriend, partner, whatever. The point is, you could be back there holding her hand instead of wearing out the lobby carpet."
"Surrogate," said the usual receptionist in a reproving tone as she joined the other woman at the desk. "Mr. Eaton is here with his surrogate."
"And I highly doubt she wants a virtual stranger 'holding her hand' while her feet are in the stirrups," Tobias growled.
"Is your wife back there with her?" the rude receptionist pressed.
Tobias' jaw dropped in shock. Usually fertility clinic staff were tactful and professional, but this woman was neither.
"Mr. Eaton is a widower, Nita," the other receptionist explained. She was about to say more, but Nita spoke again.
"So you're single?" she purred suggestive. "Wait, why do you want a kid?"
That was the last straw. Tobias stormed out of the lobby as the other receptionist began scolding.
He wanted to hit something. He wanted to throw up. He couldn't breathe. His chest ached.
He was definitely going to lodge a complaint, just as soon as he figured out who to complain to. That Nita person was… Well, she was unbelievable, and rude, and just… awful.
What if she said something to Tris?
The thought stopped Tobias in his tracks. He had to get in there before she had a chance to upset…
"Tobias?" He turned to see Tris walking out the door of the clinic. "Are you alright? The receptionist said something happened and you stormed out. There was some yelling coming from the back, and…"
"Tris," Tobias interrupted in an agonized groan. He wanted to say more, but the words just couldn't make their way past the wave of grief that was threatening to drown him.
Tris threw her arms around him. "It's okay," she crooned as he broke down in sobs.
"It shouldn't be like this," Tobias cried. "She should be here! Am I doing the wrong thing bringing a baby into a home without a mother? Guys don't do this, you know? And I just miss her so much. Every. Damn. Day. And today is supposed to be about you! It's supposed to be calm, and low-stress, and that bitch just… She was awful. I'm so sorry, Tris."
"Oh Tobias," Tris soothed. "I don't know what happened in there, and it's probably better for the baby if I don't get into a fist fight right now, so don't tell me. But your life and your family are none of her business. The people who know you, and love you - they support your decision. I didn't even know you, and I decided you were doing the right thing. So much so that I agreed to be your surrogate! It will be hard, but that's life. Parenting is hard, and full of second-guessing yourself. You won't always do everything right, but it will be good. I have faith in you."
Tobias stepped back and roughly wiped at his face.
Tris smiled warmly. "Besides," she said, "it's too late now. The seed is planted, and I have every confidence that it's going to take root, and I'll be as big as a house in no time. If you back out now, I'm keeping her."
"Her?" Tobias asked.
"Well I'm assuming you guys are hoping for a mini-Lauren, so I'm willing the baby to be a girl."
He smiled at that idea, and Tris knew that the emotional storm had passed.
.
Tobias drove Tris to Will and Christina's apartment. On the way they talked about her procedure and the next steps. Post transplant Tris was free to go back to her life with minimal restrictions about heavy lifting and strenuous activities, but was encouraged to take a few days to rest.
Will and Christina were at work, and Tobias offered to carry Tris' laptop bag and walk her up to the apartment. Knowing that he was still a bit shaken, Tris agreed. She let them in the building, and they climbed the stairs to the second floor, Tobias' big warm hand on her back the entire way.
She unlocked the door to the unit and invited Tobias inside.
"Would you like some lemonade?" she asked. "Maybe iced tea? Ugh, I'm going to miss caffeine…"
Tobias smiled fondly. "Lauren said the same thing. I shouldn't stay, though. You need to relax, not entertain a guest. Just point me to your room, so I can put your things down."
"I, uh, out here is fine. I kind of, um…" Tris stammered as she blushed deeply. "This is my room," she admitted with a sigh. "I've been sleeping on Christina's couch for most of the last year."
Tobias abruptly stood to his feet. "Pack a bag," he commanded.
"Tobias, no," Tris argued weakly.
"Tris, I'm not arguing with you," he said gently but firmly. "You have three options: you can come home with me and sleep in my guest room, I can take you to Max and Veronica's, or I can put you up in a hotel. I understand that you did what you had to do, and I'm glad your friends could help you. I know you move into your new place next week, too. But right now you need a good, solid place to rest. We want that embryo to implant, and I would just feel better if you had a good bed to sleep on."
Tris wanted to object. She was sure she would be just fine. But then she thought about how much Tobias was paying to go through the IVF and surrogacy process. If the transfer didn't implant, she didn't want him to have reason to blame her, even subconsciously.
"Fine," she said resignedly. She handed Tobias a glass of lemonade and went to the linen closet where she kept her clothes.
A half hour later Tris and Tobias were back in his new SUV, headed across town to his home. His first suggestion had been that she say with him, but when she balked at that, Tobias had offered to put Tris up in Max and Veronica's place. But they were in Phoenix for the weekend getting things finalized, and she didn't feel right about staying there without them. Tobias then offered to rent Tris a hotel room, but she didn't want him to spend money on her. So she'd reluctantly agreed to sleep in his guest room for the weekend. He, in turn, had insisted that she stay until Tuesday, when her new apartment would be ready.
Tris wanted to take her car since she had to work on Monday, but the devastatingly stricken look on Tobias' face reminded her that Lauren had died in a car accident right after her transplant. In fact, they were just a few weeks from the first anniversary of her death. So yet again, Tris had sighed and gone along with things. It's not like they were asking anything from her - they just wanted to take care of her and feel useful in the waiting game of IVF and surrogacy.
Tobias hadn't let Tris carry her lightweight weekend bag and laptop out to his car, and he didn't let her carry them into his house, either. Instead, he carried her bags, and held the door to welcome her into his home.
"This is really lovely," Tris said, admiring the great room - especially the kitchen. The great room had hardwood floors, with tile in the kitchen portion. There was an island with granite countertop and four barstools. The cabinets were the same wood as the floor, and a tile backsplash complimented the granite. Stainless steel appliances completed the room, and turquoise and coral accents added a bright, youthful touch to the contemporary design.
"Thanks," Tobias said, rubbing his neck self-consciously. "I've never really… done anything, you know, with the place. Lauren set it up how she wanted, and I just kept it how she left things."
"Well she had great taste," Tris complimented. "I shouldn't be surprised, though. I've been to her parents' home. Max and Veronica have a very nice place, so of course their daughter would have good taste too, right?"
Tobias shrugged. "So, yeah," he said. "This is the kitchen, living room, and dining area. The deck is out the back there. Over here the stairs go up to three bedrooms and a bathroom, or down to the family room and office. There's another bathroom down there, too. The guest room is upstairs on the left. I'll put your bag in there for you. Okay?"
Before Tris could reply, Tobias was up the stairs with her small bag. Unsure of what she should do, she opted to follow him and see where she would be staying.
"Uh, the uh, the sheets are clean," Tobias said when he saw her in the doorway. "No one has slept in here for a few months, and I washed the sheets after they left. There's not much to the room, but it should be comfortable enough."
"It looks very nice," Tris said. There wasn't much to see in the guest room. It was on the small side, and was dominated by a bed with a black metal headboard. One wall featured a window, with blinds but no curtains. Another wall was taken up with the closet door. The third wall had the bed and a small nightstand with a lamp and a clock. The fourth wall was blank except for an inexpensive-looking unframed canvas print. What mattered was that the room was clean and looked comfortable.
"I think I'd like to lay down for a bit," Tris said shyly. "Today has been a bit of a roller coaster, and I think it would be wise if I just rest. I brought a book, so I can relax or nap, and you can go on with your day like I'm not even here. I can make dinner for you if you like. I know you said you're not much of a cook, and if I'm going to be here in your house, I might as well make myself useful."
"No, no," Tobias resisted. "Not tonight. Today you should just relax. I thought I'd get takeout for our dinner tonight, and maybe we can watch a movie, or the baseball game. Same for tomorrow; I want you to rest. Maybe on Sunday you could make dinner if you want, or Monday. In fact, how about we grill on Sunday night and your friends that you live with could come over for dinner? They can bring your car so you have it on Monday, and whatever other stuff you have at their place."
"Sure," Tris agreed. "You'll really like Will and Christina. She's been my best friend since we were in preschool. We met Will our freshman year of college. He's really smart, and he's into tech stuff too. He's an electro… electro-something. He makes medical devices."
"An electrophysiologist?" Tobias asked.
"Yes! That," Tris said in annoyance. "I can never remember that word. I always tell him he needs a job title that's in English. Anyway, Electro-man is super smart and techy. Christina is the opposite. I mean, she's not dumb, she's just not interested in science and computers like he is. Christina is all about light and colors and girly stuff like makeup and clothes. She was an interior design major, and she has a job in the field, but she's still an associate or whatever. But you saw their apartment; she has really good taste. They're saving for a down payment on a house, and then she'll go crazy, I'm sure. Hopefully I'll be too pregnant to paint. You might be saving me a lot of work, Eaton, so thanks for that."
"Anything for my baby-carrier," Tobias laughed. "You should invite Will and Christina to come over on Sunday. Maybe Zeke and Shauna and the kids can join us too. I'll let you rest now."
Tris smiled and waved as Tobias left her alone in the guest room. It was a bit awkward staying with the biological dad of the baby she was trying to carry, but she liked to think that she and Tobias were friends now, too.