November 5, 1779
For the next three days, Lillian went on with her life and continued to serve in the bar. The three men who raped her were laid to rest in unmarked graves in the cemetery not too far from town. Lillian didn't think they deserved a Christian burial, but she decided it was best to remain silent. The important thing to remember was that they were dead and she was not. Justice had been served to her in the form of the Hessian Horseman, who she did not think she would ever see again.
One night, once the tavern cleared out, Lillian went with the Mortners to their house for dinner. Cassandra prepared a chicken for their evening meal. The family sat at the table and made small talk while they ate.
"Did you hear the Van Garretts are expecting a child?" Lillian asked Mr. Mortner sitting on her left.
"Oh, are they?" Mr. Mortner questioned.
"Yes, they're very excited about it", Lillian added. "It'll be their first."
"Actually, now that you mention it, I specifically remember hearing Mrs. Van Dien say something about that just yesterday. Of course, you know how much that old woman loves to spread gossip."
Lillian chucked softly. "Well, I think it's splendid news." She looked to her right and asked, "Don't you think so, Cassandra?"
"Indeed, but I have no interest in babies", Cassandra answered. "Not every woman is suited for motherhood. I'd much rather be doing more important things than stay at home and raise children while the men go off to war."
"What do you mean?" Lillian wondered.
Cassandra looked across the table at her father, who waited for her to speak. She dabbed her mouth with a cloth and said, "Perhaps I shouldn't say anything since it might upset Father, but I will say this - The Horseman is nothing more than an insufferable monster. Day after day, I hear word from the men about the countless victims he claims out there on the battlefield. What I wouldn't give to see his head removed from his shoulders-"
"Enough!" Mr. Mortner demanded. "I've told you before I will have no talk about the Hessian Horseman in my house. This town has suffered enough bad luck already with this wretched war taking over everything."
Mr. Mortner went back to finishing his meal, and Lillian locked her gaze on her half-eaten plate for a moment before looking at Cassandra, sympathetically.
Feeling downhearted, Cassandra pushed her chair back and rose up, excusing herself from the table. She went over and stood in the doorway to the next room, resting her hand on the frame. She looked back at her father and told him, "I know I'm not a man, and I may not be a solider, but I believe I have the heart of one." With that in mind, Cassandra stepped into the room and closed the door and locked it from the inside, shutting herself out.
Lillian sighed heavily, gathering up her and Cassandra's dishes. She stood up and went over to wash them and heard Mr. Mortner talking to her.
"I don't mean to dishearten my daughter. I know we're fighting for our rights against England, but it seems so useless. No matter how many times I ask Cassandra not to mention it, she insists on bringing it up, anyway."
"She's not wrong, you know", said Lillian, speaking over her shoulder. "About the Americans fighting in the war, I mean. In any way, I can't imagine what our men must be feeling right now. I'm sure they must be feeling afraid, risking their lives for the right to live freely in a country without oppression. Not knowing if today will be the day whether they live or die. The British may have a greater advantage by hiring the Hessian, but they're not us."
"Which is why I'm glad I have no sons", Mr. Mortner included, breaking off a piece of bread and chewing it.
Lillian turned around to look at him and wiped her hands with a dishtowel. "Isn't it every man's dream for a wife to bear him a son?"
Mr. Mortner pushed his chair back and stood up. "Not every man", he answered, turning to Lillian. "When I married my wife, she wished for more than anything to have a child, whether it be a son or a daughter. For years, we tried everything, but nothing worked. Then one day, my wife began to show signs of life growing inside her belly. Cassandra is my pride and joy, but that doesn't mean I don't love you any more or less than I love her."
"I'm honored to hear you say that, sir, but must you be so hard on her?" Lillian asked him.
"My dear, when you have children of your own one day, you will understand what it's like to be a parent."
"I understand that, but all Cassandra wants is for you to be proud of her."
Mr. Mortner smiled warmly and proclaimed, "I am proud of her. The fact that she is my daughter is my greatest pride. You and Cassandra are the only family I have left. I don't know what I would do if I lost either one of you."
Lillian smiled, glad to know Herbert cared so much about his daughter. The moment was short-lived, however, as Lillian suddenly felt a wave of sickness come over her and rushed out of the house. She went around to the side of the house where nobody could see her and bent over as a heap of vomit came up. Lillian feared she had begun to develop something in her stomach she didn't want or wasn't ready for. Whether it was innocent or not, she couldn't bear the shame of being with child, especially since she wasn't married. People would start to talk behind her back if they found out about the rape, but Lillian refused to see a doctor, let alone a midwife.
Mr. Mortner came out of the house and found Lillian throwing up whatever food she had in her stomach. Soon as she was done, he placed a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Lillian, what happened? Are you all right?"
Lillian sniffled and shook her head, keeping her back to him. "I'm scared, Herbert", she cried. "I'm frightened of what's happening to me."
"Come back inside. I'll send Doctor Lancaster for you."
Lillian turned around fast and grabbed hold of his arm, her eyes wide with horror. "No!" She shouted, then lowered her voice down. "No doctors. No nurses. I think it's best I retire early and went to bed."
"Very well", said Mr. Mortner. "Why don't you go back to your room and wait for me there? I'll bring you something to help you with your symptoms. Go on, now."
Lillian nodded and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She walked back to the tavern alone and went upstairs to her room. She got out of her dress and slipped on a nightgown and sat down on her bed and brushed her hair for a while. Ten minutes later, she heard a knock at the door.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Lillian", the voice of Mr. Mortner answered. "Are you decent?"
"Yes. Come in." Lillian set the hairbrush down, and Mr. Mortner opened the door and walked in, holding a mug in his hand.
"How are you feeling?" Mr. Mortner asked her.
"I don't know", said Lillian. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Fear not, my dear. This will make you feel better."
Mr. Mortner handed the mug to Lillian, who blew the steam away and took a small sip. She instantly recognized the flavor and realized it was the same herbal tea remedy the Hessian had given her.
"What's in this?" Lillian questioned.
"It's a special herb that will hopefully cure your sickness", said Mr. Mortner. "I don't want to take any chances in case you might have conceived from one of those scoundrels."
"I appreciate your concern", Lillian told him, taking another sip.
"Now, get some sleep and don't worry about a thing", said Mr. Mortner. "I'll send Cassandra in the morning to check on you. Feel better, Lillian." With that said, Mr. Mortner turned around and went to head for the door.
"Herbert?" Lillian spoke suddenly.
Mr. Mortner turned around and looked at her. "Yes?"
"Do you think...I mean...You don't believe it's possible that I might be..." Lillian didn't want to consider the idea that she had conceived through rape, but there seemed to be no other explanation for her sickness.
"I certainly hope not. If your symptoms continue, I'm afraid I shall have no other choice but to fetch the doctor. You won't appreciate the procedure he'll recommend, but it'll be for your own good. Sleep well, Lillian."
Once he left, Lillian sat there in silence and drank some more tea and placed the empty cup on the nightstand once she had finished it. She lied down in bed and stared up at the ceiling for a while before turning over to face the wall, wrapping both arms around her stomach. Eventually, she fell asleep, but tossed and turn all through the night, as nightmares of horses and fire flashed across her vision. Elsewhere, she heard a woman screaming.
Lillian woke up with a gasp and sat up straight, breathing heavily and putting a hand to her forehead, feeling sweat on her brow. There was a slight discomfort in her stomach and she smelled iron, while also feeling something wet leaking between her legs. Lillian removed her hand from her face and looked down, pushing the blanket off her and seeing there was blood on the sheets. The pain and her sudden bleeding meant only one thing. All at once, she breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her face into her hands, laughing and crying at the same time. Maybe because of the nightmares, but mostly because she was happy the results of her unfortunate ordeal had been terminated by her monthly cycle. Lillian ran her hands through her hair and sighed deeply, then looked over and saw the light of a new day starting to shine through her window. She got out of bed and stripped off the sheets so she could wash them later.