The New Recruit
Inside the lair of the immortal master of the Grimm, Salem had called in her generals to make a major announcement.
"Attention, my loyal subjects!" said Salem. "I am pleased to announce that we are adding a new member into our ranks!"
"I hope it's someone that loves mass murder!" squealed Tyrian.
"Please don't tell me it's someone with yet another tragic angsty backstory," said Watts.
"As a matter-of-fact Arthur," said Salem, "this one happens to be a doctor like you!"
"Oh great," said Hazel. "Two obnoxious geniuses I have to deal with. Who is this person anyway?"
"Everyone, let us welcome into our fold...DOCTOR MERLOT!"
Doctor Merlot entered the meeting room, wearing his trademark lab coat as he left cybernetic eye gave off a bright red glow. He waved to his new comrades with his cybernetic right arm.
"Greetings, my evil compatriots!" said Merlot. "It is truly a pleasure to be in the company of the world's most vile..."
Merlot introduction was cut short when he suddenly noticed a certain so-called "genius" sitting amongst Salem's army, instantly killing his mood.
"Oh...hello Arthur."
"Merlot," said Watts. "Such a displeasure to see you again."
"You two are familiar each other?" asked Salem.
"As the man who beat him for the position of Valedictorian at Evil Scientist State, I am quite familiar with the lesser of villains."
"Lesser villain?" said Merlot. "I was the one who lead Mountain Glenn to its demise!"
"And you haven't done anything relevant since!"
"Settle down you two!" said Salem. "I've brought in Merlot because I was quite impressed with his work on the Grimm. A man of his genius will be beneficial in our plans to destroy Atlas."
"And I have just the invention that will make your plan a reality!" said Merlot.
Merlot pulled out his scroll and displayed a hologram featuring a pack of Lancers glowing with green aura caused by Dust.
"Behold! Nuclear Lancers! It'll be like creating an army of kamikaze Grimm that will wreak havoc on the kingdom of Atlas!"
"OOOH!" said Tyrian. "I love anything with kamikaze involved!"
"Do you even know what that word means?" asked Cinder.
"No, but it sounds very murdery!" said Tyrian.
"I like the way you think, Merlot," said Salem. "Those Nuclear Lancers could be just what we need to destroy Ironwood's pathetic army!"
"Exploding Grimm is a terrible idea," said Watts. "One false move and they can literally blow up in your face. Then again, you always did come up with the most mediocre of schemes, Merlot."
"And what brilliant inventions have you come up with that wasn't just more giant robots?" asked Merlot.
"I created a program that will hack into Atlas' mainframe and allow us to control everything within the city."
"Wow! Computer hacking!" cheered Merlot in the most sarcastic tone possible. "Real fracking exciting! I'm sure Atlas will be horrified by a glorified 5Chin attack!"
"Great plans take cunning!" replied Watts. "Something your paltry 3.99 GPA butt could never understand!"
"If you're so smart, how come you're not the leader of this team of supervillainy, wise guy?"
"At least my lab wasn't exploded by a bunch of kids hacking and slashing everything in sight!"
"Enough!" yelled Salem. "I don't want to hear another word from either of you for the rest of this meeting!"
Merlot took his seat at the table as him and Watts folded their arms in disgust of each other.
"...your mustache makes you look stupid," said Merlot.
"THAT'S IT!" yelled Watts, jumping out of his seat and tackling Merlot to the ground. The two of them exchanged fisticuffs to Salem's annoyance as Tyrian cheered for them to hurt each other.
Mike and Marty's Mediocre Voyage (Part 2)
Deep in the jungles of the Mistral kingdom, the vigilante army of Faunus known as the White Fang gathered in Sienna's throne room.
"Attention, my Faunus-in-arms!" exclaimed Sienna. "Our daily briefing will now begin! First, our Lieutenant will go over the minutes of yesterday's meeting!"
"All humans are bad, the White Fang will destroy anyone in our way, and we all agreed Kail Belladonna is nowhere near as beautiful and smart as our beloved leader," announced the Lieutenant.
"Thank you, Lieutenant. Now, I'd like to announce we have two new recruits who have joined our cause! New members step forth and introduce yourselves!"
Donning their new White Fang uniforms - which were already looking torn apart with their thick fur sticking out everywhere - the pair of Beowolves stood at the foot of Sienna's throne in front of the White Fang.
"Hi everyone," said Mike. "I'm Mike, and this is Marty."
"Hello my fellow Faunus!" said Marty. "We too hate humans and think our leader is beautiful."
"I have to say I'm impressed by your Grimm masks," said Sienna. "It's so detailed I'd almost think you were the Grimm!"
"WE'RE NOT THE GRIMM!" shouted Mike, causing everyone to give them a befuddled look. "Er...I mean thank you our glorious high leader!"
"What kind of Faunus are you two exactly?" asked the Lieutenant.
"We're Beowo...," said Marty before quickly correcting his mistake. "er, WEREwolves! Yep, just two ordinary human-hating Wolf Faunus!"
"And how come you have so much fur?"
"Genetic birth defect!" said Mike.
"No shave November!" said Marty at the same time.
The pair of Grimm's spines froze upon realizing their cover was likely about to be blown. While the crowd just gave them weird looks, the Lieutenant didn't seem convinced.
"Leader Sienna," said the Lieutenant, "I'm not sure about these two joining us."
"Then we must put the new recruits to the test!" said Sienna. "If you two can succeed, you will prove yourselves worthy of our cause!"
"We'll do anything for you, oh great beautiful leader!" said Mike.
"Yes! Anything to prove we're worthy of being in the White Fang!" said Marty.
"Then here is your mission," said Sienna. "There is a group in Mistral who have stood in our way for too long; a group of bandits who call themselves The Branwen Tribe. They keep pillaging villages to take over their territory before we do! Also, their leader dares to call herself 'Raven' and she's not even a bird Faunus! I take it as a personal insult!"
"She's such a pretender!" said Mike. "Unlike us!"
"Yeah!" said Marty. "How dare she acts like she's one of us!"
"I want you two to find out where they're hiding so we can get the jump on them!" said Sienna. "This kingdom isn't big enough for two major supervillain groups!"
"We sniff out those bandits faster than you can say Lusus Naturae!" said Marty.
With their plan going smoothly so far, the two Beowolves left Sienna's throne room as they went off on their mission.
"See Mike? I told you no one would catch on to us! We pass this test and we'll be heading to Menagerie in no time!"
"Are you sure this was a good idea, Marty?" asked Mike.
"We'll be fine! Besides, you want to go back to Vale after everyone ditched us?"
"But what if this tribe happens to be strong enough to kill us?"
"Psssh, yeah right!" said Marty. "These are bandits we're talking about! On the evil henchmen totem pole, they rank in the bottom tier with the Boarbatusks and those suit guys from the nightclub! Trust me, we kill a bunch of scrubs, get in Sienna's good graces, and we ask to be transferred to Menagerie! It's a foolproof plan!"
"I hope you're right, Marty."
#
About an hour into their mission, Mike and Marty soon found themselves surrounded by about a dozen heavily armed bandits alongside the second-in-command Vernal.
"Looks like we've got ourselves a couple of White Fang prisoners," said Vernal. "The boss is going to love this."
"...hey Mike?" said Marty.
"Yeah Marty?" said Mike.
"I'm starting to think this WASN'T a good idea."
"No shoot, Herlock."
To Be Continued
The Other New Recruit
After the tussle Merlot had with Watts, Salem decided that Merlot was not a good fit for her inner circle and decided to hire yet another new member to take his place.
"Okay," said Salem, "so Merlot didn't work out for us. So instead, I've found a completely new villain to join our ranks! He goes by the name of...Moldova Burnstick!"
In walked a devilishly handsome villain in a bowler hat and white trench coat, sporting a very stylish handlebar mustache.
"How do you do, villains who I have never met before?" said Burnstick. Despite being new, everyone else sans Watts looked at Burnstick as if he was a certain fired character in a terrible disguise.
"I like your mustache!" said Watts.