Lincoln turned on his knees to face Luna and Luan scrambled to a sitting position, her knees drawing to her chest. If she was trying to hide the fact that she wasn't wearing underwear, it didn't work: Her pink lips smooshed together between her thighs but were still clearly visible. The pungent scent of sex hung heavy in the air and the room's sole window was fogged with condensation. It should be clear to even a total retard that something kinky and wrong had taken place here, but Lincoln wasn't sure he couldn't convince Luna otherwise.

Born Lunesta Zantac Loud on October 15, 2006, to Lynn and Rita (nee Krueger) Loud, Luna was a wholesome all-American girl who loved horses, drawing, and being polite and respectful to her elders. She was on the honor roll in fourth and fifth grade and was, in the words of Pop-Pop, sharp as a tac. Okay, tacs aren't all that sharp, but I get what you're going for.

In eighth grade - so last year - something changed. Luna went to a Mick Swagger concert and in one night, she went from a sweet small town girl to a hard rock lesbian with short hair and a rebellious attitude. Not to get political or anything, but boomer music was a corruptive force that turned entire generations of kids into dope smoking hippies, coke addled discofags, and hair metal burnouts ala those two dumbasses from Wayne's World. It glorified easy sex, loose morals, infidelity, and being all-around selfish piece of shit who only cares about a good time, fuck everyone and everything else. No wonder the parents of the fifties and sixties hated that shit. Imagine weathering the Great Depression and fighting Nazis in World War II only for your son to grow his hair like a woman, smoke pot, and tell you every day how much you and everything you stand for sucks. Imagine working hard your whole life to give your kids a comfortable middle class upbringing only for them to strip naked, smoke PCP, and roll around in the mud at Woodstock. Man, Lincoln would be pissed too.

There's a saying that goes something like "Strong men make good times, good times make weak men, weak men make bad times, and bad times make strong men." Lincoln thought that was cringe at first but now he realized how true it was. Americans are a bunch of fat, spoiled ninnies who couldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight. They were pumped so full of hormones and antidepressants that they didn't even know what fucking gender they were and were so toxic and obnixous that they made him want to pull his hair out just like hippies made their parents want to scream.

Anyway, Luna fell under the sway of such music and its attendant ideology and evolved (or devolved) into a dyke who smoked pot and pussy. She sat around all day with a glazed look in her eye and pumped her brain full of ancient music from ancient men whose push for social liberalization helped lead to high crime, high rates of divorce and single motherhood, and high poverty. She wasn't academically stupid, but she obviously had some sort of mental deficincy if she thought that shit was cool. Therefore, he was pretty sure he could yank the wool over her eyes.

"Luna," he said, "it's not what it looks like."

"YOUR DICK IS HANGING OUT!" Luna roared. "IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

Lincoln's eyes darted down to his exposed penis, still semi-hard from its bout with Luan's girl parts. A bead of whitish cum dropped from the slit and landed on the sheet, soaking the fabric. The shaft glistened with Luan's juices and his balls were small and deflated, clearly having been emptied very, very recently. He turned to look at Luan. Knees still to her chest, her pussy lips were bared for all the world to see, red and swollen with passion. Her inner thighs were slick and shiny, and her hair was a mess. One perky breast, nipple throbbing with need, stuck out of her rumpled blouse, and hickies dotted both sides of her throat. She had obviously been fucked and fucked good. Even a boomer wannabe like Luna could see that.

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn, this was bad.

"I swear," Lincoln said, panic forming in his stomach, "we weren't doing anything, we just -"

"Oh, yes you were," Luna said, "you were doing each other."

An icy feeling of dread roiled in the pit of Lincoln's stomach The air felt suddenly thick and the walls seemed to move toward him. He felt the way an animal must when a predator has it backed into a corner with no means of escape. His heart slammed in the center of his throat and cold sweat rolled down his face in slimy buckets. Luan hid her face like a shy ghost; she was totally useless, but what more did he really expect? Her to actually have a spine when things got real? Ha, what a joke. He should have known he'd be on his own, and indeed he was. He'd never been more alone in his entire life, not even the time he got lost at Soggy Bottom campground and spent two hours picking through the wilderness and crying for his mother and sisters (not Dad, though, Dad was too much of a cuck to save anyone, something Lincoln knew even at five).Luna was looking at him with a murderous expression, and there was no one to save him. He had to sink or swim on his own.

But how could he possibly swim away from this? Luna had caught them red handed. There was no denying it, not with Luan's fluids drying and sticky on his dick and his load making a big white stain on her skirt.

What could he do? Lying wouldn't work. He figured he could knock Luna out so that she didn't tell Mom and Dad.

Either that or beg.

Hahahaha, Lincoln would never beg for anything. Why would he? He'd done nothing wrong. He and his older sister were horny so they fucked. Big deal. "But, Linc," he could hear a legion of indignant pink haired, incest-hating lesbians and their dickless male allies saying, "having sex with your sister is wrong." Is it, though? People were only against the 'cest because it produces retarded offspring. Like okay, valid point, the world has enough headcases as it is (all you have to do is look at the followers of both major American political parties to know that) but other than that? Anyone? Bueller? Seriously, give me another good reason a brother and sister shouldn't satisfy one another's raging pubsecent uges.

You don't have one, do you?

Right then.

Fuck you, shut up.

"Okay," Lincoln said with a shrug, "we were having sex."

Even though Luna had seen it with her own two eyes, hearing him say that in so many words visibly affected her. She shook her head slowly and tried to form a response but sputtered. "I can't believe you two. Why would you do something like this?"

"I tickled Luan and she got horny," Lincoln said, "so we smashed. It's really none of your fucking business."

Luna's face darkened. "It is my fucking business. You're my brother and sister and you're...doing this." She waved her arms.

"Okay, so let's talk about you and Sam," Lincoln said. "If incest is wrong, so is being a female faggot."

Fire blazed in Luna's eyes. "Sam and I aren't related."

"And neither one of you is a guy."

For a second, Lincoln thought Luna was going to fly at him and kick his ass. Instead, she glared at him and finally said, "I'm telling Mom and Dad."

Luan gasped. "Please, no!"

Ignoring her, Luna turned around and Lynn was there. She shoved Luna back into the room and came in, followed by Lola and Lucy. Lynn crossed her arms and Lola and Lucy flanked her on either side, forming a human wall between Luna and the door. "What the fuck are you doing?" Luna demanded.

"Not playing games," Lynn said, "that's what I'm doing."

"Get out of the way," Luna hissed.

"Nope," Lynn said. "You're not stooging them off to Mom and Dad. In fact...you're going to have sex with Lincoln too."

Luna's jaw dropped. "W-What?"

So quickly that Lincoln almost missed it, Lynn grabbed Lincoln in a headlock and started dragging her toward the bed. Luna screamed and started to fight back. "Shut the door," Lincoln ordered.

Lucy closed the door and locked it.

"LET GO OF ME!" Luna screamed.

Lynn wrestled her to the ground, and then hit her a couple times in the back of the head, stunning her. Luan covered her mouth and gaped with horror and Lincoln grimaced. Ouch, that looked like it hurt.

Picking Luna up, Lynn bent her over the bed, reached up her skirt with both hands, and yanked her underwear down to her ankles. They were light purple and looked like they smelled really good. "Show this gay bitch what she's missing," Lynn said.

Lincoln grinned.

Rape'o'clock.

He got up, squatted behind Luna, and kicked out of his hands. Luna revived and started to fight. Lynn pushed her face into the bed and called out to Lucy and Lola. "Hold her hands."

Lucy and Lola both came over, Lucy pinning one hand to the bed and Lola the other. Luan sat where she was looking conflicted. On the one hand, her sister was about to be raped. On the other...she really wanted to see Lincoln in action.

"STOP!" Luna wailed.

She snapped her legs closed, denying Lincoln access to her vagina. Wedging one knee between the, he pried them open. Luna screamed and suddenly everyone was taking over each other. "Do it, Linc,' Lynn said, "do it."

Lincoln slammed his hips forward with all his might and penetrated Luna's virgin pussy, making her jolt. Her walls molded tight to his shaft and her body clenched down. She tried to break free from Lucy and Lola's grasp, but Lynn jammed her elbow between her shoulder blades and held her in place.

Maybe it was because Luna wasn't willing, but her pussy was tightest of all, and the way her body pulsed around him, as if in outrage at being violated, made him moan. He dug his fingers into her hips and held on, jackhammering her rock n roll hoochie coo like it owed him money. Gradually, the tenseness in her muscles drained away and she stopped resisting. She still made muffled sounds against the bed, sobs or something, Lincoln couldn't tell.

Though he had just given Luan the best sex she would ever have even if she lived to be a million, Lincoln came close to nutting only a few minutes in. He pulled out to take a breather, then shooed Lola, Lucy, and Lynn away. He tied Luna's hands behind her back with her panties, turned her over, and bent her back over the mattress. He grabbed her throat and bore down, choking her. He forced her thighs apart and jammed his dick into her again. Tears streamed down her face and her eyelids fluttered. Luan watched through her fingers, Lola leered, Lucy furiously rubbed herself through her dress, and Lynn broke out in an enthusiastic bout of shadow boxing.

When Lincoln felt his pickle getting ready to pop, he yanked his dick out, grabbed it, and aimed it at Luna's face. His load shot from his depths like a white cannonade and splattered across Luna's lips and chin. The second spurt landed in her hair, and the third hit the hollow of her throat and slid down into her shirt, never to be seen again,

Lincoln got to his feet and everyone stood around Luna, who gasped for air. On her knees, she pulled one hand out of the makeshift handcuffs and then the other.

"So?" Lynn asked.

Flopping back like that guy in The Shawshank Redemption, Luna ripped her shirt and gave a cry unto heaven. "I LOVE DICK!""

A cheer went up and everyone celebrated Saint Lincoln successfully banishing the gay from poor, misguided Luna.

Unbeknownst to them, Sam watched at the window.

She was crying.