No Resolution

Jude was laid up on the couch later on. AJ had gone to bed and she knew she probably should attempt to go but she also knew she would just end up lying wide awake for hours. At least downstairs with the sound of the TV on didn't make it just as quiet.

She was in the midst of opening up another snack pack of cookies when she heard a light knock at the door. She grew slightly nervous considering how late it was but shook her blanket from her anyway and headed out to the front door.

She hated herself for feeling relieved when she saw it was Sean. Her relief slowly turned into her anger and despair, like most times when she saw his face.

"Sorry it's so late." Sean said as Jude waited for the reason he was here, "Leela left this at the apartment." He told her, holding up the stuffed bunny rabbit with the longest ears which Leela always carried around with her.

"Oh… she didn't even say anything." Leela said, taking the bunny from him, her fingertips grazing against his, the most contact she'd had with him in six months besides banging her fists against his chest and occasionally shoving her frame past him with anger.

"Really? Normally she doesn't sleep without it." He said.

"My mom put them to sleep actually." Jude realised, "Maybe she said to her." She nodded.

"How long is she staying?" Sean asked her.

"A few days, according to her." Jude said as he nodded, "Knowing her she'll probably stay the week." She shook her head as Sean smiled a little.

"I didn't know if you'd still be awake." Sean admitted. He was desperately trying to think of things to say, to allow him to stand in front of her for as along as he could. He missed her so much it hurt.

"Well you know I don't sleep at the best of times." Jude shook her head as he nodded, "How is that case at the academy coming along?" She asked him.

"It's not." Sean said tiredly, rubbing the back of his neck with disappointment, "No leads."

"I'm sure something will come up." Jude said, "I never knew her. She wasn't in any classes I teach." She told him.

"I know I looked into it." He nodded, "Still… to stab someone three times? Pretty personal I think." He said as Jude nodded.

"So it's more likely it's someone from the outside than from the academy? I'd hate to think I have a murderer in one of my classes." She groaned.

"So would I." He sighed, "We're looking into everything we can."

"Well you should probably go." Jude nodded. Sometimes she'd catch herself in conversation with him as if nothing had even happened, and then she'd remember and her stomach would drop.

"You know we can't go on like this." He said.

"Like what?" Jude asked him.

"This. Not talking. Avoiding everything." Sean said, "We gotta talk about things at some point."

"And don't you think I deserve to say when that is?" Jude narrowed her eyes at him, "You're the one who did this. You're the reason we're not talking."

"I know. And believe me, I hate myself as much as you do." He nodded, "But… I kinda feel lost?" He said in a questioning tone as she looked at him. She'd never saw the look he had on his face before. He'd aged these past six months. He seemed to have lost so much of what she fell in love with him for. He looked how she felt inside.

"I do too." She assured him.

"I uh… I just really miss you." He nodded, looking across at her, "I miss us. I miss being here with the girls."

"Us?" Jude asked him as he nodded, "Did you think of us when you fucked someone else?" She asked him coldly as he sighed, rubbing his forehead and looking down.

"We're never gonna get anywhere if… if we can't speak for more than five minutes." He looked at her, "I wasn't thinking at all. I made a stupid mistake. I-I don't know what happened. I would never want to hurt you-"

"Well you have." Jude nodded, "You have hurt me. I never thought you'd be capable of doing something like this. I always thought of you as someone who would never hurt me. You were my person I went to when someone else hurt me." She said, "I haven't let anyone see me the way you have. Not my parents or my sisters." She said.

"Jude-"

"No, don't. I want you to leave." She shook her head, "Just go." She said.

"Please can we just sit down and talk about this-"

"No." Jude shook her head, closing the door over on him and walking back into the living room.

Theo got home later on knowing his family would be in bed. He hated working late at the precinct as it meant he couldn't say goodnight to Chase or spend the night on the sofa with his wife.

He headed straight upstairs, walking into their bedroom where he saw Cassie in bed with her back to him.

He began unbuttoning his shirt tiredly, trying not to make noise until he heard a sniff come from Cassie, one which normally accompanied tears.

"Cass?" He said quietly, walking around the bed to her side where he saw her crying, "Hey, what's wrong?" He frowned as she just shook her head.

"I'm fine." Cassie assured him.

"No you're not." Theo sighed, noticing her pillow was extremely damp, wondering how long she had been here crying for. His first thought was to ask her what was wrong, but he knew what was wrong, "Alright, I'm getting in there." He said light-heartedly as she smiled, rolling onto her back whilst he stripped to his boxers.

He got into bed beside her, wrapping his arm around as she curled into him, "I'm ok, really." Cassie insisted. She wasn't sobbing or audibly crying, tears just seemed to be pouring out uncontrollably.

"It's ok if you're not… ok." Theo assured her, "You're allowed to be upset." He said quietly. She was such a strong minded person. No matter the situation she always thought positively and it was one of the things he loved about her, but he knew she tended to downplay her feelings or sometimes not acknowledge them at all, hence why her sisters gave her grief about being emotionally detached at times.

"I just hate the way people are looking at me now." Cassie sighed, trying to dry her face, "They're looking at me like something awful has happened. Like I'm dying or something." She rolled her eyes, "My dad was here earlier and he just… he looked so awkward, like he didn't know what to say."

"Well… maybe he didn't." Theo said, "It's a difficult one."

"I don't need people looking at me like that." Cassie insisted as Theo nodded. Part of him figured she was disguising her tears with this when really she was just upset about what they were going through. He knew her quirks and how she operated.

"It's ok to be upset about this." He told her as she sighed, closing her eyes over, "It's better to let it out and be upset than to… hold it all in." He nodded.

"But we'll be ok." Cassie sighed, saying it out loud to assure herself.

"Of course we will." Theo nodded, kissing her head, "Of course we'll be ok."

"I really thought there'd be four of us soon." Cassie admitted truthfully, "It'd be a girl, I thought. Chase would be such a good big brother, wouldn't he?" She looked up at him as he nodded.

"Yeah, he would." Theo agreed, brushing her hair out of her face which had attached onto her tears.

"Why is it that… being told we might not be able to have another baby makes me want one even more?" She shook her head. She couldn't figure it out. Ever since hearing their not so great news all she could think about was having another baby, desperately. It didn't seem fair.

"I'm sure it's just because the news is fresh for us. It'll take a little bit of time." He nodded, "And we got options to look at."

"I know." Cassie sighed, "I guess you just want it to happen without any help. I'm still in shock that we actually had Chase. I mean… the odds of that." She shook her head, "You must have really missed me." She grinned up at him as he chuckled.

"Yeah I think you heard that night how much I missed you." He recalled.

"We could just steal Sam from Thea." Cassie said as Theo chuckled, "She's adorable."

"We could. And then move to Canada." Theo nodded as Cassie chuckled, glad hear tears were starting to stop as she lay with him. Her comfort always.

"Oh well my dad wants to know if you're trying to steal Jake's job?" Cassie asked him.

"Not yet." Theo laughed.

"You'd really go for it? Being chief?" She looked up at him curiously.

"Sure, why not. I've been around a while. Seen my fair share of things." Theo shrugged, "You think I could do it?"

"Of course I do." Cassie nodded confidently, "I just don't know if you'd be happy. You don't like being mean to people."

"Sure I do." Theo said, "I'm just never mean to you."

"So I could be married to the chief?" Cassie smiled, "That's kinda hot." She nodded as he chuckled.

"Yeah well Jake has shutters on his office windows so I know what the first thing we'd be doing is." He nodded, his hand travelling further down her body as she smiled.

"Any excuse to celebrate, right?" Cassie nodded, "I ate almost half a slice of pie tonight." She told him.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, Renee baked it for me. My dad dropped it off. Was real good." She nodded, "Didn't mean to eat half of it, though. I think I was eating my feelings."

"You should have called me if you were having such a rough night. I could have just left the meeting." Theo told her.

"No, I was ok. I knew you'd be home eventually." Cassie said, "It's just kinda getting to me and I hate it. I hate crying." She said angrily as he nodded.

"I know you do." Theo said, "But it's ok to do it." He whispered, as if telling her a secret as she smiled, cuddling into him some more, grateful she had him to lean on.