Chapter Summary: In which White hits a low point and makes several mistakes. Longest chapter so far. 4.2k words.
It was not something I had expected, but I couldn't get her out of my head. Not Green, Purple. A gift would be nice.
I placed a wooden cutting board on the kitchen counter, pulled out a few stumps of carrots from the fridge, rinsed the metal blade of the paring knife, and searched up a tutorial stored in the ship's archive using my tablet.
It took me several attempts before getting a satisfactory result.
"Cyan, why did you follow me here?" I said as I stopped abruptly in front of the electrical panel. Rust was peeping out of its lid. I had wanted to examine the Electrical alone.
"Because I need a buddy. For the buddy system Captain Green suggested, you know?"
"You could pair up with Black. Like you always have."
He pursed his lips. "...I saw him on top of a body."
"Oh? Is that a hard-accuse?" I teased. It really didn't matter; in both stories Black should've been near a body when Cyan came in.
"No, no. I don't even know. It was just really shocking, because, well, I suppose I did trust him pretty quickly. He was the first person to be nice to me, actually; he comforted me when I was scared."
"If he comforted you, then why don't you go pair up with him?" I suggested once again.
"When I finally got the shock out of my system and asked him if he had done it, he couldn't even give me a no," Cyan frowned.
"So it's him then?"
"He didn't say yes either, don't just assume," he insisted rather unconvincingly before changing the subject, "Anyways, I chose to follow you because you are the second person to be nice to me. You showed me around the ship, thanks."
"Ah, right. I did do that." That had been part of my job. "I suppose I can let you in on what I'm doing in here then."
"Lime's tasks?"
I laughed. "No. Although those still need to be done. And someone to cover for Orange's share too. But I actually came here because of a disturbing piece of admin information."
"What?"
"Someone walked through the walls from Electrical to Security."
Air wheezed out of his nose. "And I thought you were smart," he said, "I wanna walk through walls!"
"No I'm being serious! Everyone else was on the map! There was no way they got there that quickly!" I shook my head, "It doesn't make sense. I think it has something to do with an impostor's ability to shapeshift."
"Or the admin table could've glitched." He suggested.
"No way. Honestly, a crack in the walls is more plausible than that." I fell silent.
I hurried along to the back of Electrical and carefully inspected the walls, between each of the ropes of wiring and inside each of the iron lockers. No cracks to be found. Taking a step back, my gaze fell on the metal covering of the ventilation system.
"Cyan," I asked as he arrived, "Do you remember seeing one of these in Security?"
"Huh? Oh those. Yea. I think Black tried to run towards it when I saw him. Why?"
"The two rooms might be connected through the ventilation system."
"So you think the 'walking through walls' situation happened because of the ventilation system? And, and since the vents are so small, and connect many areas of the ship, it could be an exclusive highway for shape-shifting impostors to use to travel to and kill unexpectedly?" His face lit up, "That amazing White! We should tell this to everyone! Warn them about the vents, it could save a life!"
That wasn't the only information to take from it.
If an impostor traveled from Electrical to Security, that meant Red's story was a lie. He didn't walk to Security with Black. They were in Electrical.
However, I couldn't be bothered to explain it to the glowing Cyan.
"Yea," I said, "Pretty amazing."
"Whitttttte," Cyan whined as he followed me inside Admin, "We should be doing our tasks."
"Hold on hold on." I told him, checking the admin table.
Two in Medbay. None in Shields. I frowned. I need her alone.
Maybe a later time.
I followed Cyan and watched him pull foliage out of the O2 filter and clean out trash. As I watched him pile through gunk and leaves and hair, I found comfort in knowing that at least I didn't have his job.
The blue-ish green room of Navigations is seated right across the hallway to O2. There was no light that came out of it; only the light from the hallway travelled in, not the other way around. It was luring, curious.
The room of Navigations itself is not the most spacious room. From my memory of the admin map, it's just barely bigger than O2. Even Shields is built bigger than Navigations, and the same could be said for Weapons. Part of me found it preposterous how Green coops herself up in there for the better part of days.
Of course, Cyan just had to tag along. "Navigation has such a good view!" He went on as he moseyed behind me, "There's stars, space, lights…"
But as we stepped from the bright hallway into the dim room, no stars could be seen outside its giant windows. Just black. The only lights came from the flicking buttons on the control panels up ahead. There were no lone stars stranded in the abyss between galaxies.
"Oh," Cyan said as his enthusiasm diminished.
Upon being alerted by his voice, Green turned around, saw, and greeted us from her seat.
"Cyan, White. You wanted to see me?"
"Yes," I said, "About yesterday."
She nodded for me to go on.
Admin. Teleports. Vents. There was so much I wanted to tell her. About how right I was, about exactly how good of a chance we had of ejecting the impostors. Two out of three! I wanted to blurt out. We definitely could've just followed my plan and voted someone off! We pretty much already won!
We pretty much already won.
There were still eight crewmates aboard and we pretty much already won.
"Why did you shut it down like that? The conversation the crew had going on. We could've reached somewhere."
She sighed, "I didn't want a crewmate to be ejected so hastily."
The Skeld would reach the Polus in safety. The incident would be over so quickly.
What else could I do? Now that it's over.
"Then why did you let us talk on if you knew it would lead to nothing?"
"That's where you're wrong. It didn't lead to nothing. We've got information, everyone's opinions, suspicions; how they would act like if someone was to be ejected."
What would be the best thing to do? What do I want?
What I want...
"Then what do we do with those information? How do we act upon it? It'll be useless if we don't."
"I'll love to tell you, but － look," she looked over to Cyan, who was to the side, studying the texture of the wall, "Maybe next time."
She's got something.
I had to manually control my lips to stop them from revealing what I've got.
I wasn't about to give away my only advantage.
"Maybe next time," I said.
One in Medbay. It was perfect.
I looked away from the neon-green screen with a jubilant expression settling in on my face.
Cyan voiced, with a degree of concern, his question regarding which task I wanted to do first. Tasks were just about the last thing I had on my mind.
Without further explanation, I told him to stay by Admin and wait for me to come back, before dashing across the Cafeteria, flinging myself onto the kitchen counter, opening the cupboard, and retrieving the gift I had prepared.
Holding it in my hands, I took in a few deep breaths and thought about how I would present it to her.
She was cutting a piece of Oranges' flesh when I arrived. While putting the bloody utensil back into its tray, she explained to me she was collecting samples of the residue left behind by the impostors; the bodies would rest in Medbay's cooler along with the samples until they could be returned to their families. Then she asked what the fuck I was doing in her Medbay as I walked over to her. Classic Purple.
"I got something for you," I said as I slid the small, delicate ceramic plate － on top of which was a bundle of blooming carrot-carved flowers over sliced cucumber leaves－ over the operating table. I winced. Not the most romantic situation, but I supposed it'll do.
As there were no signs of nature aboard the Skeld, I had to improvise. The classic move was to bring roses, which led to the idea of an imitation of roses － carrot roses. But look, they weren't just any clunky o' carrot roses. These ones were delicate, with soft curves and angular edges. Each petal was well-defined and yarned away from the core; they looked like flowers alright. So then why was I comforting myself?
"These look beautiful…. Thanks White," she said my name. She said she liked them.
"Ahaha, thanks… Actually, I was wondering… Are you free tomorrow?"
I held eye contact with her, but I couldn't help but feel she was holding back a chuckle. Or maybe a snicker.
"White," she said it again, "I have a girlfriend."
Oh.
"You do?"
"Yes White, I do."
Well. God damn it.
"Is she on this ship?"
"Mayhaps."
It would've been a pretty good time for lightning to strike me where I stood.
I evacuated the premise after awkwardly warning her about killers possibly lurking in the vents.
Cyan wasn't being very helpful. He kept babbling his mouth.
I sat on the floor and slumped over the admin table as he went on. The side of my helmet stuck on my face as I pressed it against the neon screen. I didn't care about any of the yellow icons flashing through the map, why would I? I simply gazed at Cyan as he went through my tablet. He spun around in one of the ruby cushioned chairs nearby. His glaringly bright suit was just rubbing salt onto my wound.
"Gosh White," he said, his fingers sliding up and down across the device, "Most of Lime's tasks haven't even been redistributed yet! Orange I can understand, but I mean, Lime? Cmon, his has been left idle for such a long time."
"I've been busy with reports." Having impostors aboard was such as pain in the ass.
"There's still time today," he nudged me with the tablet. I couldn't believe he got up from his chair just to nag me. "It'll just take a few minutes, no time at all."
"Shut up shut up," I covered my head underneath my arms. Tasks were the last thing I had on my mind, but this time it was simply because I didn't feel up enough to do it. I grumbled about the point of life and the suffering of never-ending tasks.
"Huh?" Cyan didn't quite catch what I said, "White, are you ok?"
"Shut up shut up."
"You know you can tell me what's wrong right?"
"Shut up shut up shut up shut up."
"I'm all ears."
"Just shut up."
"You know, you have to get your tasks done eventually."
That was it.
"How thick does your head have to be!?" I said, slamming the table, letting it out on him, "Task, task, tasks! All you ever bab about is tasks! Everything else is completely empty in that noggin of yours! It's all: White this. Oh White that. Task, task, tasks. Acting all fluff and bunnies when your best friend is literally the murderer!"
"He is not!" he cried.
"Oh you know he is. Just stay the fuck away from me! Leave me alone!"
Cyan backed away.
"No…You can't just assume like that," he shook his head, "You're just assuming."
"Go do your fucking tasks then and watch him snap your neck!"
The idiot stood by the exit. His hand went to grab hold of the metal door frame. He gave me one last look. "Goodbye White." Before he stepped out and into the hallway.
I stared at the space where he vanished, at the light and the air and the emptiness, before slamming my head visor-first onto the table. I closed my eyes. Was this not what I had wanted him to do all along?
The knife I had retrieved from Reactor was a kitchen knife.
I opened the kitchen drawer and slid my fingers across the handles. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, plus the one I've retrieved, ten. They were all there. None of them were missing. Good.
I took one with me just in case. For self-defense purposes.
The blade was wrapped with paper towels first. Then, a thin, flimsy piece of saran wrap was pulled out of its container. The semi-wrapped blade was placed on it and rolled, tugging more of the film out as it went. For safety purposes. It went in the pocket of my cargo pants.
I patted it. Safe and sound.
"I didn't do it!"
Red stomped into Admin. His arms flew up into the sky to insist his innocence.
"I most definitely did not do it!" He said again.
My palms were on the admin table as I put my weight on top of them. I looked up from the screen as to greet him, and went over to him, bringing him further inside Admin and away from the exit.
"What exactly did you not do?" I questioned.
"Whatever you called me here to accuse me for! Wasn't me!"
"I was going to ask about your tasks."
"Oh."
"And you're right, you most definitely did not do them. That's kind of the problem." I showed him my tablet's screen and scrolled down. "Tables and tables of unfinished tasks. Left idle to rot, not a single one done," I said as the bottom of the page was hit, and closed the device."My question is why."
Leaving the tablet on the table, I crossed my arms near my hips as to have easy access to the pocket.
Red smiled and shook his head, before saying: "Shoot asteroids? Shoot asteroids!" He laughed, rather fakely I should add, perhaps buying himself time. "Why, why would I need to shoot asteroids, when, when Captain Green could just avoid them?"
"The whole point of the task is to avoid accidents."
"I trust Captain Green, she wouldn't let an accident happen. And even if there was an accident, Blue's shields got us covered," he threw his hands up, "It's like my job doesn't even matter!"
"Are you saying you still plan on leaving them vacant and undone?"
"I am! There's just no need to do them."
"It's in MIRA's protocol to shoot the asteroids regardless."
"Well MIRA had an oversight. This is just contributing to space pollution."
I sighed, "MIRA does seem to have a lot of oversights don't they. Even an impostor managed to sneak aboard."
He shook his head. "I can't believe it either, what a large oversight."
"I don't think anyone can! And a human impostor at that."
"A human impostor?" He laughed, "Oh, White you have just the silliest ideas. Everyone knows impostors are aliens!" He continued to giggle while I just stood there, waiting for him to finish.
My breathing was eerily calm for such a situation. My hand slid into my pocket and my finger nimbled on the tip of its handle as I watched for any sudden movements. Any at all. The beat of my heart was slow and painful － it was as if the little guy was slamming itself head-first against my rib cage. I stood there and regarded him, not saying a word more.
He stopped laughing.
For a moment I wondered if my self-defense of a knife was too extreme. He seemed to be slightly shorter than me, definitely not taller. And judging from Yellow's description of him stabbing the wrong place and falling in the middle of combat, most likely did not receive specialized training. I betted that I could beat him in a fight. But then again, this was someone who murders and lies without a second thought; I didn't know exactly what I was dealing with.
"...information…" Green had said.
I asked him, "So Black can vent? The aliens can travel through the ventilation system?"
"I hate to tell you this but the other one is Blue."
My fist slammed onto the wall to let him know there was no room for jokes.
"So Black can vent," I asked again, "Yes or no."
Silence.
"Speak. Or I can go call a meeting right now."
He locked eyes with me, staring at me with a quizzical look. I wondered what went through his head. I had hoped that he felt cornered, that meant I was doing it right. Suddenly the edges of his lips lifted upwards just-so-ever slightly.
"You won't call a meeting," he said, "Or do you prefer me to say it like this? Oh no White please don't call a meeting I don't want to be spaced no sir." He mocked as he raised his shoulders and covered his head beneath his hands.
I wanted to hit him. I really did. But I took a deep breath instead.
"What makes you say that?"
His arm found its place at the base of my neck, and hung around my shoulders as if he was a buddy of mine. Yea, he was definitely shorter than me.
"I can get you what you want. I mean, I usually get what I want, so why don't I help you out a little, and you don't eject me so fast?" He leaned up and stated as-matter-of-factly, "Cmon White, what do you want? Honor? Glory? Girls?"
"I want you to get the fuck off me and answer my quesitons."
He lifted his arm off my back, "Alright alright. Simple, done."
"What's the smallest crack alien shapeshifters like Black can fit through?"
"Cmon, there must be more I can do for you than just some questions," He said, "What do you want, White?"
"Answer my questions."
"Yes, but that's not really what you want is it. That's what MIRA wants, and let's be honest MIRA doesn't actually give a shit about you. And I'm here asking what you want; not what you think a faceless corporate colossus would want. I want you to think for yourself: what do you want? Do something for yourself! You deserve it."
In a strange way his words made sense to me as their letters rang inside my head.
I am but a pawn in MIRA's eyes. A pawn who already did what the queen instructed; won her the game. All that was left for me to do was to tell the crewmates. And yet here I was presented with an opportunity to grab a little something for myself. It was perfect, in a sense, almost a little too perfect. But I was never one to look at a gift horse in the mouth.
What was the worst thing that can happen right now? Red beat me in a fight? Fat chance. I still had it in my pocket.
"I want to be Captain." It felt bizarre to hear it out loud.
His index finger tapped on his chin. "I can help you with that… Anyways, great! You get someone to help you become the Captain of Skeld, and I get to live longer! Win-win. So it's a deal then?"
"Sure."
"Great! Deal made. Crisis averted," he exhaled.
"You're not going to ask me to shake on it?" My humor was twisted.
"What?"
"Nothing. Do you have a plan yet?"
"No, not yet. Do you?"
"Yea," I said, "I've got a plan."
It was my turn to act as "night guard" that night. Stupid Green idea.
The hallway outside the dorms was where I sat, on a little grey stool I stole from Security. I'll give it back. Dim nightlights lined the walls of the corridor. It was almost serene; it would've been had I not known who I was waiting for.
The door creaked behind me, and I turned to see Red, sneaking out and tentatively twisting the handle to a close. He released a breath as he heard the faint sound of wood to frame.
"I can't believe we're doing this," he said.
That was my line. I stood up from the stool.
"Take this," I handed him the keycard, "It opens the lock on her door. Just slide it through."
He took and inspected it, before shaking his head, "You know, sometimes I just wish my impostor partner could be more like you."
I gestured for him to move on, "You have a job to do."
"Yessir," he sighed before he left.
He had walked halfway across the hallway, before backpedalling all the way back in front of me.
"How are these chicken arms supposed to kill Green?" He deadpanned. He wasn't giving himself enough credit － they were actually pretty average.
"For one, she is asleep and you are not; she is bare-handed and you are not."
"Yea, but," he grimaced, "She's Green. How am I supposed to kill Green when I couldn't even kill Yellow properly?"
"Aim for the throat? So she can't scream."
"How do I aim for the throat if she fights back?"
"Aim for weak spots of the human body then. Use a chair or something, or just plain o' pin and suffocation."
"What are some weak spots I can aim for?"
"Tip of neck, hug and twist the head. Nothing beats the pain of a direct blow to the liver."
"Where's the liver?"
He was asking too many questions. I thought about outright punching him in the liver. Instead, my fingers went to show him where his liver should be. "A bit of it is exposed underneath the right rib cage. It's tied to nerves or something like that."
"Why don't you just go kill her yourself?"
Then what did I need him for? Instead of putting that into words:
"Rock paper scissors?"
"What?"
"Rock paper scissors."
"Rock paper what-sers? What in the world do you mean?"
I face palmed at his response,"Just, just go."
He left, murmuring about something with me not wanting to get my fancy white suit dirty. Wasn't completely false, to be fair.
I fell back down to my stool. Just me alone with my thoughts.
Killing someone was easier said than done. I had no idea if I was even going to enjoy the role of Captain after this. Sure, it'll just be put off as another crime committed by the impostors － which wasn't wrong, it was Red who killed － but I would know. It'll weigh on my words as I take up the vacant spot and as I instruct the crew. Maybe my part in this will one day drive me insane, paranoid that someone somewhere somehow found out. Maybe the guilt will one day choke me at my lowest points.
Perhaps the decision was made too hastily. Like how the ejection of a crew was vetoed because it was too "hastily". I chuckled. Et tu, Brute? Was that going too far?
This was too late a moment to be having second thoughts wasn't it? But second thoughts were what filled my mind until the distinct sound of cheerful footsteps was heard down the hallway.
It was Red sprinting down the hall with his arms wide open. I went pale. Had the doors not been closed everyone would've heard him. I whispered aggressively for him to be quiet, only for him to launch at me and tackle me into the floor. I pulled out the knife with its wrappings still on.
"It's a joke it's a joke!" He said as he backed away.
"You stink," I got off the floor.
"Just the smell though, didn't even get any blood on myself," he said proudly, "She was asleep."
"Oh. Good for you then."
"I made sure to make it look messy though," a glint in his eyes. Vomit perched at the back of my throat as I tried to keep my mind blank. I swallowed. Throwing this guy off the ship was first on my to-do list after Green gets found.
I told him to go take a shower. Erase the smell. And after he did so and returned, I asked him:
"Why are you working for them? You're betraying your own kind. How in the name of MIRA are you okay with that?"
I hadn't actually expected him to answer that.
"It's not really betraying per say if I was never one of you to begin with. Didn't even know MIRA existed until, well, goodnight White," his hand reached for the doorknob, "Catch you tomorrow, comrade."
I hated him so much.
Next morning, Blue showed me what she had been working on.
"How's this?" She said as she showed me the Automatic Voting System.
"Not bad," I said as I sipped on coffee, watching the demo she showed me, "Say, Blue, you're a girl. And you and Purple, you guys are pretty close, yea?"
She looked at me confused. "We're really close actually. What about it?"
"Nothing."
With a few taps of my finger 86% of Lime and Orange's tasks were assigned to Blue.
The other 14% were assigned to myself. I'm not a monster.
Author's Note: Back to Cyan in the next chapter :p