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Day Seven of Remodels

NFG looked at the new desk that she and Modern would be sitting at. "I keep telling ya, we should install some extra weapons." She looked around at the theatre that had undergone renovations.

"Well, we probably could do that easier if you hadn't decided that we were going to be a talk show from now on." Modern grumbled as she finished setting up the cameras.

"We can't just keep using the old format of being a theatre thing. One that's already overplayed with all the multiversal reaction fics out there. Two I am not rewatching the same show so many times to just review some ships. So let's go ahead, and just chat with the characters. Either from the main universe or some variant of it." NFG grunted in satisfaction as she finished setting up the defense systems, metallic guards stood on standby. Now they just needed to bring in the actual guests.

One Hour Later

A bright flash of light occurred and two people appeared in the room. It was Emerald and Mercury. The two looked around the odd place.

"Welcome, ya cunts. Now sit your asses down or I will gladly put them six feet under." The two got into fighting stances, Emerald realized she had no weapons. And she couldn't feel her aura, And My semblance isn't working. Mercury fell on his face, noting that his legs had been replaced with wooden prosthetics. Before she could even think of anything else she saw a collection of roses rushing at her, and faster than she could see, she was in a chair, tied down along with Mercury in another chair. "You should thank Modern here. If it wasn't for her, I would break all your bones. You fucking trash." NFG snorted as she sat down next to Modern. Emerald looked at the two, Rubies? Oh gods there are more of them? She wanted to scream but she knew with one glance at NFG that doing so would likely incur more brutal treatment, she was a far cry from the cheery Ruby she knew.

"I am Modern. Long story short, there is a multiverse. Different worlds where many outcomes were different. Now then as to the reason, we brought you here." Modern pressed a button on her desk, and a slideshow was turned on. Mercury's jaw dropped, as Emerald felt her blood boiling at the images shown. What could only be described as artist pictures of the two making out were being shown. "We review ships here, but given how I try to see the best in everything and NFG calls everything out as stupid. Best to get a third party, so that's why you're here. To not only give your own opinions but also to answer some relevant questions. And you should answer them otherwise, I will let NFG use that potato peeler she bought." Emerald and Mercury gulped as NFG held up her potato peeler with a very pleased shark-like smile.

"Fuck you." Emerald spat out.

"That's his job according to the fandom, don't ask what the fucking fandom is. You won't like the answer." NFG commented dryly. "And since you spoke up, you get to go first. So first question bitch. What do you actually fucking think of the ship yourself?" She asked.

"That's none of your…" Emerald paused as NFG leaned in close, using the potato peeler to peel a steel bar held next to Emerald's face. The threat wasn't lost on her, and with no semblance or weapons, and knowing NFG could beat her down easily. She decided to answer. "It's stupid! Me and this asshole?" She gestured at Mercury.

"She wants me," Mercury smirked, being more humorous about it.

"Oh fuck you!" Emerald did her best to kick at him, only making Mercury laugh harder.

"I mean if you're offering." Mercury winked. Emerald screamed annoyed.

"Oy shitstains. Stay on topic. So Stumpy what do you think of mint green here?" NFG asked Mercury.

"She's hot. And can kick my ass. Nuff said." Mercury said with a grin. Emerald huffed in disgust, and looked the other way, though perhaps there was a light blush.

"Respect." NFG nodded approvingly. "Okay moving onto the next set of questions. Modern take it away." Modern cleared her throat.

"So how long have you two known each other?" She took out a notepad.

"Like we would tell-" Emerald was cut off.

"We met through the same associate. Cinder Fall. So at least for a year or so." Mercury said smugly. Emerald's eye twitched in annoyance. "C'mon they said different universes. Besides, I think I know how this will go. You're gonna wipe our minds of this whole thing once it's done aren't you?" Modern nodded with an apologetic shrug. "And you're not actually going to go to our universes are you?" Another nod was his answer. "So big deal Em. It's not like they will do anything. So let's kick back and just have some fun with it while we can." He put his feet on the desk.

"I can see why people still like his dumbass. But either way, next fucking question." NFG said.

"Okay, but why the fuck do you do all this?" Emerald snapped. "What is the point of all this?!" She hated it all.

"Boredom you little shit. We're from meta-breaking universes, and have a shit ton of time on our hands. And the author of this shitshow has a hard time focusing on jackshit, so he writes this kind of stuff. So he doesn't go insane forcing out chapter after chapter of various fanfics. Plus doing a ship review is easy pie." NFG said with a shrug. Emerald's mind shut down for a bit while processing the huge meta dump of fourth wall breaking info.

"Either way. Let's get on with the show." Modern looked through the questions and sighed in annoyance. "NFG where are the questions?" She asked her co-host.

"Well excuse me, I was busy actually installing weapons. Thought you had it. Ugh, just do some funny questions." NFG said taking out a bottle of vodka.

Three hours later.

Emerald was on the ground laughing her arm around NFG's shoulder as they were laughing loudly with tears coming from their eyes. "So then I literally said, now go back to universe 58 you meeker." Mercury and Modern laughed out even louder.

"You still haven't told me what the hell universe 58 is. But you know NFG, you're pretty cool." Emerald said with some hiccups.

"And you're not a total piece of shit. So you're cool as well. Now, this was fun, but I think it's time you two go back." Mercury put down the weed he had been smoking and nodded, walking all wobbly. Emerald helped him up and then a flash of light and they were gone, never to remember.

"Okay so seriously this was all kinds of weird and confused and we do need to actually review the ship." Modern knew she was going to hate the hangover.

"True but I think we did alright. Didn't expect that ultra meteor smash." NFG chuckled looking at some of the debris.

"Well review first and then we're going to address the audience." Modern dragged herself back to the desk, with NFG helping her into her seat.

"I will be real and go first. Honestly, it's… a passable ship I guess. Still stupid mind you, but it doesn't make me roll my eyes at the utter inane forced headcanons. It's average." NFG shrugged.

"It's interesting enough that I would want to see it fleshed out. And I wouldn't mind them as friends but yeah average to me as well." Modern nodded as she felt like the room was spinning. "Okay folks. You know the drill. Suggest another ship. And just so we don't rely on NFG thinking of impromptu questions. Feel free to add in your own questions to the ships you request." Modern face planted on the hardwood desk.

"Also don't ask about Universe 58. No one should have to know about Universe 58. Oh and for Modern's sanity let's keep the lewd questions to a minimal." NFG chuckled and winked at the camera, and then the screen went black.

A/N: Well you heard them XD. Seeya next time.