ELSA'S POV

"Are you okay, Honeymaren? Agnarr said you were having a hard time… Isn't it getting any better?"

Her warm hand curled around mine. "not so bad," she said, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

She walked slowly back to the driftwood bench, staring at the rainbow-colored pebbles, and pulling me along at her side. I sat back down on our tree, but she sat on the wet, rocky ground rather than next to me. I wondered if it was so that he could hide his face more easily. She kept my hand.

I started babbling to fill the silence. "It's been so long since I was here. I've probably missed a ton of things. How are Kristoff and Emily? And Sven? Did Quil--?"

I broke off mid-sentence, remembering that Honeymaren's friend Quil had been a sensitive subject.

"Ah, Quil," Honeymaren sighed.

So then it must have happened—Quil must have joined the pack.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

To my surprise, Honeymaren's snorted. "Don't say that to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Quil's not looking for pity. Just the opposite—he's jazzed. Totally thrilled."

This made no sense to me. All the other wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing their fate. "Huh?"

Honeymaren asked tilted her head back to look at me. He smiled and rolled his eyes.

"Quil thinks it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to him. Part of it is finally knowing what's going on. And he's excited to have his friends back—to be part of the 'in crowd.'" Honeymaren snorted again. "Shouldn't be surprised, I guess. It's so Quil."

"He likes it?"

"Honestly… most of them do," Honeymaren said admitted slowly. "There are definitely good sides to this—the speed, the freedom, the strength… the sense of—offamily… Kristoff and I are the only ones who ever felt really bitter. And Kristoff got past that a long time ago. So I'm the crybaby now." Honeymaren's laughed at herself.

"You're not a crybaby, Honeymaren's." I paused. There were so many things I wanted to know. "Why are you and Kristoff different? What happened to Kristoff anyway? What's his problem?" The questions tumbled out without room to answer them, and Honeymaren laughed again.

"That's a long story."

"I told you a long story. Besides, I'm not in any hurry to get back," I said, and then I grimaced as I thought of the trouble I was in.

She looked up at me swiftly, hearing the double edge in my words. "Will she be mad at you?"

"Yes," I admitted. "She really hates it when I do things she considers… risky."

"Like hanging out with werewolves."

"Yeah."

Honeymaren shrugged. "So don't go back. I'll sleep on the couch."

"That's a great idea," I grumbled. "Because then she would come looking for me."

Honeymaren stiffened, and then smiled bleakly. "Would she?"

"If she was afraid I was hurt or something—probably."

"My idea's sounding better all the time."

"Please, Honeymaren. That really bugs me."

"What does?"

"That you two are so ready to kill each other!" I complained. "It makes me crazy. Why can't you both just be civilized?"

"Is she ready to kill me?" Honeymaren asked with a grim smile.

"Not like you seem to be!" I snapped. "At leastshecan be a grown-up about this. She knows that hurting you would hurt me—and so she never would. You don't seem to care about that at all!"

"Yeah, right," Honeymaren muttered. "I'm sure she's quite the pacifist."

"Ugh!" I ripped my hand out of his and pushed her head away. Then I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them.

I glared out toward the horizon.

Honeymaren was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, she got up off the ground and sat beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "I'll try to behave myself."

I didn't answer.

"I really do care, Elsa." Her thumb rubbed my shoulder. "I care about your feelings a lot. I'm really sorry."

I sighed, but didn't say anything.

"Do you still want to hear about Kristoff?" she offered.

I shrugged.

"Like I said, it's a long story. And very… strange. And sad. There's so many things about this new life I haven't had time to tell you the half of it. And this thing with Kristoff —well, I don't know if I'll even be able to explain it right."

Her words pricked my curiosity in spite of my frustration.

"I'm listening," I finally said.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the side of hee face pull up in a smile.

"Kristoff had it so much harder than the rest of us. Because he was the first, and he was alone, and he didn't have anyone to tell him what was happening. Kristoff's grandfather died before he was born, and his father has never been around. There was no one there to recognize the signs. The first time it happened—the first time he phased—he thought he'd gone insane. It took him two weeks to calm down enough to change back.

"This was before you came to Forks, so you wouldn't remember. Kristoff's mother and Liam Clearwater had the forest rangers searching for him, the police. People thought there had been an accident or something…"

"Liam?" I asked, surprised. Liam was Harry's oldest son. Hearing his name sent an automatic surge of pity through me. Harry Clearwater, David's life-long friend, had died of a heart attack this past spring.

Her voice changed, became heavier. "Yeah. Liam and Kristoff were best friends in high school. Inseparable. They were always together…" he paused and glanced at me. "Everyone always just thought they were just close friends… but…" She trailed off, looking at me.

"Kristoff and Liam… were… they…" I couldn't find the words, but I felt how wide my eyes were.

"Yeah, it was a big secret. They didn't tell anyone, just kept it between themselves. They weren't dating or anything, but they just had this connection and, well, anyway, Liam was frantic when Kristoff disappeared."

"But Kristoff and Emily—"

"I'll get to that—it's part of the story," she said. She inhaled slowly, and then exhaled in a gust.

I supposed it was silly for me to imagine that Kristoff had never loved anyone before Emily. Most people fall in and out of love many times in their lives. It was just that I'd seen Kristoff with Emily, and I couldn't imagine him with someone else. The way he looked at her… well, it reminded me of a look I'd seen sometimes in Anna's eyes—when she was looking at me.

"Kristoff came back," Honeymaren said. "But he wouldn't talk to anyone about where he'd been. Rumors flew—that he was up to no good, mostly. And then Kristoff happened to run into Quil's grandfather one afternoon when Old Quil Ateara came to visit Mrs. Uley. Kristoff shook his hand. Old Quil just about had a stroke." Honeymaren paused to laugh.

"Why?"

Honeymaren put her hand on my cheek and pulled my face around to look at her—she was leaning toward me, her face just a few inches away. Her palm burned my skin, like she had a fever.

"Oh, right," I breathed. It was strange, having my face so close to her with her hand hot against my skin. "Honeymaren's was running a temperature."

Honeymaren laughed again. "Kristoff's hand felt like he'd left it sitting on a hot stovetop."

She was so close, I could feel her warm breath. I realized we were leaning in closer to each other, so I reached up casually, to take his hand away and free my face, but my fingers wound through her without consciously meaning to. She smiled and leaned back, I sat there blinking.

"So Mr. Ateara went straight to the other elders," Honeymaren went on. "They were the only ones left who still knew, who remembered. Mr. Ateara, Billy, and Harry had actually seen their grandfathers make the change. When Old Quil told them, they met with Kristoff secretly and explained.

"It was easier when he understood—when he wasn't alone anymore. They knew he wouldn't be the only one affected by the Cullens' return"—He pronounced the name with unconscious bitterness—"but no one else was old enough So Sam waited for the rest of us to join him…"

"The Cullens had no idea," I said in a whisper. "They didn't think that werewolves still existed here. They didn't know that coming here would change you."

"It doesn't change the fact that it did."

"Remind me not to get on your bad side."

"You never could, so don't worry about it." She snorted. "I wish I could be as forgiving as you are, though."

"Oh come on, Honeymaren grow up." I rolled my eyes.

"I wish I could," she murmured quietly.

I stared at her trying to make sense of her response. "What?"

Honeymaren chuckled. "One of those many strange things I mentioned."

"You… can't… grow up?" I said blankly. "You're what? Not…aging? Is that a joke?"

"Nope." She popped her lips on the P.

I felt blood flood my face. I tried to speak, but only bursts of frustrated air came out.

"Elsa? What did I say?"

I was on my feet again, my hands ran through my hair in disbelief.

"You. Are. Not. Aging." I repeated in angry shock.

Honeymaren tugged my arm gently, trying to make me sit. "None of us are. What's wrong?"

"God, I'm going to be some old woman surrounded by perpetual teenagers aren't I? I'm not going to be able to have any of you stick around—I'm not going to be creepy old Winters with all her beautiful teenage friends, now am I? Oh god, how is this fair?" I felt myself deflate as the image of me, white-haired, sitting in a wheelchair, while Anna, still seventeen and beautiful, spoon-fed me my dinner before wheeling me down to La Push to visit Honeymaren, still just as young and beautiful, flashed through my head.

"Take it easy, Elsa."

"But, Honeymaren, I'm literally surrounded by immortals. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"It's not as bad as you seem to think it is. Sit down and I'll explain."

"I'll stand."

She rolled his eyes. "Okay. Whatever you want. But listen, I will get older… someday."

"Explain."

She patted the tree. I glowered for a second, but then sat; my anger had burned out as suddenly as it had flared and I'd calmed down enough to realize I was being stupid.

"When we get enough control to quit…," Honeymaren said. "When we stop phasing for a solid length of time, we age again. It's not easy." She shook her forehead, abruptly doubtful. "It's gonna take a really long time to learn that kind of restraint, I think. Even Kristoff not there yet. 'Course it doesn't help that there's a huge coven of vampires right down the road. We can't even think about quitting when the tribe needs protectors. But you shouldn't get all bent out of shape about it, anyway, because I'm already older than you, physically at least."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at me, babe. Do I look Eighteen?"

I glanced up and down her tall, Beautiful frame, trying to be unbiased. "Not exactly, I guess."

"Not at all. Because we reach full growth inside of a few months when the werewolf gene gets triggered. It's one hell of a growth spurt." She made a face. "Physically, I'm probably twenty-five or something. So there's no need for you to freak out about being too old for me for at least another seven years."

Twenty-five or something. The idea messed with my head. But I remembered that growth spurt—I remembered watching him shoot up and fill out right before my eyes. I remembered how he would look different from one day to the next… I shook my head, feeling dizzy.

"So, did you want to hear about Kristoff, or did you want to freak out at me more for things that are out of my control?"

I took a deep breath. "Sorry. That was stupid of me. Age is a touchy subject, I guess."

Honeymaren's eyes tightened, and he looked as if he were trying to decide how to word something.

Since I didn't want to talk about the truly touchy stuff—our escape plans, contingencies, or treaties that might be broken by said contingencies, I prompted him. "So once Kristoff understood what was going on, one he had Billy and Harry and Mr. Ateara, you said it wasn't so hard anymore. And, like you also said, there are the cool parts…" I hesitated briefly. "Why does Kristoff hate them so much? Why does he wish I would hate them?"

Honeymaren sighed. "This is the sad part."

"Okay, I'm ready."

"Okay," she sighed again, "So, you're right. Kristoff knew what was going on, and everything was almost okay. In most ways, his life was back to, well, not normal. But better." Then Honeymaren's expression tightened, like something painful was coming. "Kristoff couldn't tell Liam. We aren't supposed to tell anyone who doesn't have to know. And it wasn't really safe for him to be around Liam—but he cheated, just like I did with you. Liam was furious that Kristoff wouldn't just tell him what was going on—where he'd been, where he went at night, why he was always so exhausted—it started to drive a wedge between them, even if they did love each other."

"Did Liam find out? Is that what happened?"

He shook his head. "No, that wasn't the problem. Liam's cousin, Emily Young, came down from the Makah reservation to visit him one weekend."

I gasped. "Emily is Liam's cousin?"

"Second cousins. They're close, though. They were like brother and sister when they were kids."

"That's… horrible. How could Kristoff…?" I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Don't judge him just yet." Honeymaren sighed. "Kristoff was the leader of the pack. The chief, I guess."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, confused.

"Being the leader… means you have a duty. A duty to the pack, to the tribe. It's a responsibility to be strong, to be a leader, and to ensure the future of the pack."

Something clicked in the back of my mind. "Kristoff couldn't stay with Liam." I guessed.

Honeymaren's eyes strayed to the ocean. "Kristoff did love Liam. But he knew he had a responsibility. The elders never forced him to do anything, but they did tell him he needed to think of the pack—of the tribe." Kristoff laughed without humor. "And, when Kristoff saw Emily, I mean, something changed in him. Kristoff reasons that it was an instinct deep inside—like a werewolf thing—that made him justknowthat Emily was the one…"

"Like love at first sight?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Sort of," Honeymaren continued. "There are legends, that there's something about being a werewolf where we just… connect with people—we justknow. Not even the elder's know if it's true, but Kristoff believes it. He has to, I guess."

"Do you believe it?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know."

I didn't know what to say, I just watched Honeymaren's face quietly.

Finally, she spoke again. "It doesn't matter, anyway." She shrugged indifferently. "You wanted to know what happened to Kristoff to make him hate the vampires for changing him, to make him hate himself. And that's what happened. He put the tribe first. He broke Liam's heart. He went back on every promise he'd ever made him. Every day Kristoff has to see the accusation in Liam's eyes, and know that he's right."

He stopped talking abruptly, as if he'd said something he hadn't meant to.

"How did Emily deal with this? If she was so close to Liam…?" Kristoff and Emily were utterlyrighttogether, two puzzle pieces, shaped for each other exactly. Still… How had Emily gotten past the fact that Kristoff had belonged to someone else? Her brother, almost.

"Emily didn't even know about Kristoff and Liam. Not at first. When he told her, she was angry at Kristoff for breaking Liam's heart. But she loved Kristoff, too. She fell for him just as bad as he did for her." Honeymaren sighed. "But it just got worse. You know how she got hurt?"

"Yeah." The story in Forks was that she was mauled by a bear, but I was in on the secret.

Werewolves are unstable, Anna had said.The people near them get hurt.

"Well, Kristoff was in a real bad place. Liam hated him, Emily was angry with him. He was a mess. He felt as lost and alone as he did when he first phased. He couldn't keep control… And Emily came to talk to him, but he couldn't keep his emotions in check…" She trailed off. "Kristoff was so horrified, so sickened by himself, so full of hate for what he'd done… He would have thrown himself under a bus if it would have made Emily feel better. He might have anyway, just to escape what he'd done. To her, to Liam… He was shattered…. Then, somehow, after Emily recovered she forgave him. She saw how much pain he was in. Suddenly,she was the one comfortinghim, and after that…"

Honeymaren didn't finish her thought, and I sensed the story had gotten too personal to share.

"Poor Emily," I whispered. "Poor Kristoff. Poor Liam…"

"Yeah, Liam got the worst end of the stick," she agreed. "He puts on a brave face. He's going to be a groomsman."

I gazed away, toward the jagged rocks that rose from the ocean like stubby broken-off fingers on the south rim of the harbor, while I tried to make sense of it all. I could feel his eyes on my face, waiting for me to say something.

"Did it happen to you?" I finally asked, still looking away. "This love-at-first-sight thing?"

"No," she answered briskly. "We don't even know if it's a real thing. Kristoff believes it is… but I think he has to."

"Hmm," I said, trying to sort through my thoughts. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. Was I glad that there wasn't some mystical, wolfy connection between the two of us? Our relationship was confusing enough as it was. I didn't need any more of the supernatural than I already had to deal with.

He was quiet, too, and the silence dragged on.

"That's why Kristoff was so against me telling you…" Honeymaren finally whispered.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"He couldn't be with Liam," Honeymaren explained. "It wasn't good for the pack. It's our duty to preserve the pack—the line—and protect the tribe."

"Oh," I said, for lack of anything more insightful to say.

"It took some heat off me when Jared met Kim." Honeymaren rolled her eyes.

"Jared met someone?" I asked quickly, eager to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"Yeah, just some girl from school. He'd never noticed her before, but after he changed, she was the only person to go up to him and ask him if he was doing okay. He had never noticed her before, but she was so kind and she cared. So, he fell pretty hard for her. Kim was thrilled. She'd had a huge crush on him. She'd had his last name tacked on to the end of hers all over in her diary." She laughed.

I frowned. "Did Jared tell you that? He shouldn't have."

Honeymaren bit hee lip. "I guess I shouldn't laugh. It was funny, though."

"Some soul mate."

She sighed. "Jared didn't tell us anything on purpose. I already told you this part, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. You can hear each other's thoughts, but only when you're wolves, right?"

"Right. Just like your vampire."

"Anna," I corrected.

"Sure, sure. That how come I know so much about how Kristoff felt. It's not like he would have told us all that if he'd had a choice. Actually, that's something we all hate." The bitterness was abruptly harsh in her voice. "It's awful. No privacy, no secrets. Everything you're ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see." She shuddered.

"It sounds horrible," I whispered.

"It's sometimes helpful when we need to coordinate," she said grudgingly. "Once in a blue moon, when some bloodsucker crosses into our territory. Laurent was fun. And if the Cullen's hadn't gotten in our way last Saturday… ugh!" she groaned. "We could have had Samantha!" Hee fists clenched into angry balls.

I flinched. As much as I worried about Jasper or Cassandra getting hurt, it was nothing like the panic I felt at the idea of Honeymaren going up against Samantha. Cassandra and Jasper were the closest thing to indestructible I could imagine. Honeymaren was still warm, still comparatively human. Mortal. I thought of Honeymaren facing Samantha, her brilliant black hair blowing around her oddly feline face… and shuddered.

Honeymaren looked up at me with a curious expression. "But isn't it like that for you all the time? Havingherin your head?"

"Who? Anna? Oh, no. She's never in my head. She only wishes."

Honeymaren's expression became confused.

"She can't hear me," I explained, my voice a tiny bit smug from old habit. "I'm the only one like that for her. For any vampire who can do mind stuff. We don't know why that is."

"Weird," Honeymaren said.

"Yeah." The smugness faded. "It probably means there's something wrong with my brain," I admitted.

"I already knew there was something wrong with your brain," Honeymaren teased, bumping into me with her shoulder.

"Thanks." I laughed.

The sun broke through the clouds suddenly, a surprise I hadn't been expecting, and I had to narrow my eyes against the glare off the water. Everything changed color—the waves turned from gray to blue, the trees from dull olive to brilliant jade, and the rainbow-hued pebbles glittered like jewels.

We squinted for a moment, letting our eyes adjust. There were no sounds besides the hollow roar of the waves that echoed from every side of the sheltered harbor, the soft grinding of the stones against each other under the water's movement, and the cry of the gulls high overhead. It was very peaceful.

Honeymaren settled closer to me, so that he was leaning against my arm. She was so warm. After a minute of this, I shrugged out of my rain jacket. She made a little sound of contentment in the back of his throat, and rested his check on the top of my head. I could feel the sun heat my skin—though it was note quite as warm as Honeymaren —and reveled in the warmth.

Absentmindedly, I twisted my right hand to the side, and watched the sunlight glitter subtly off the scar Hans had left there.

"What are you thinking about?" she murmured.

"The sun."

"Mmm. It's nice."

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

She chuckled to heeself. "I was remembering that moronic movie you took me to. And Makayla Newton puking all over everything.

I laughed, too, surprised by how important that memory had become to me over time. So much had changed that night… It was the last night Honeymaren

and I had had before he'd learned the truth about his heritage. The last human memory. An oddly pleasant memory now.

"I miss that," Honeymaren said. "The way it used to be so easy… uncomplicated. I'm glad I've got a good memory." He sighed.

She felt the sudden tension in my body as her words triggered a memory of my own.

"What is it?" she asked.

"About that good memory of yours…" I pulled away from him so that I could read his face. At the moment, it was confused. "Do you mind telling me what you were doing Monday morning? You were thinking something that bothered Anna."Bothered wasn't quite the word for it, but I wanted an answer, so I thought it was best not to start out too severely.

Honeymaren's face brightened with understanding, and a slightly guilty look crossed her face. "I was just thinking about you. Didn't like that much, did she?"

"Me? What about me?"

Honeymaren asked laughed, though the guilty look remained. "I was remembering the way you looked that night Kristoff found you—I've seen it in his head, and it's like I was there; that memory has always haunted Kristoff, you know. And then I remembered how you looked the first time you came to my place. I bet you don't even realize what a mess you were then, Elsa. It was weeks before you looked like yourself again. And I remembered how you always looked sosad, how your eyes were so empty…" How winced, and then shook her head. "It's hard for me to remember how sad you were, and it wasn't my faltered. So, when I realized she could see it too, I figured she should get a good look at what she'd done."

I smacked her shoulder. It hurt my hand. "Honeymaren Black, don't you ever do that again! Promise me you won't."

"No way. She deserves to see the damage she did!"

"Honeymaren, you listen—"

"Oh, come on, babe. When am I ever going to see her again? Don't worry about it."

I got to my feet, and he caught my hand as I started to walk away. I tried to tug free.

"I'm leaving Honeymaren."

"No, don't go yet." She protested, her hand tightening around mine.

"I don't like when you're like this, Honeymaren." I said, turning back to her, "It's hard being around you."

"Then I'll be better," she promised, her other hand reaching up to take mine. "I'm sorry. And… okay, I won't do it again. Promise."

I sighed. "Thanks, Honeymaren."

"Come on, we'll go back to my house," she said eagerly.

"Actually, I think I really do need to go. Angela Weber is expecting me, I promised I'd help her with her graduation announcements. Besides, Alice is worried, I'm sure. I don't want to upset her too much."

"But you just got here!"

"It feels that way," I agreed. I glared up at the sun, somehow already directly overhead. How had the time passed so quickly?

Her eyebrows pulled down over her eyes. "I don't know when I'll see you again," she said in a quiet voice, and I could hear the hurt.

"I'll come back the next time she's away," I promised.

"Away?" Honeymaren rolled her eyes. "That's a nice way to describe what she's doing. Disgusting parasites."

"Honeymaren! What did I just tell you?" I tried to pull my hands free. she held them tightly.

"Sorry, sorry," she said quickly, immediately repentant. She gently tugged me back towards him. "Knee-jerk reaction."

"Listen, Honeymaren, if I'm going to try and come back again, you're going to have to get something straight, okay?"

She waited.

"See," I explained. "I don't care who's a vampire and who's a werewolf. That's irrelevant. You are Honeymaren, and she is Anna, and I am Elsa. And nothing else matters."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "But I am werewolf," she said unwillingly. "And she's a vampire," she added with revulsion.

"And I'm a Virgo!" I said, exasperated.

She raised her eyebrows, measuring my expression with curious eyes. Finally, she shrugged.

"If you can really see it that way…"

"I can. I do."

"Okay. Just Elsa and Honeymaren. None of those freaky Virgos here." She smiled at me, the warm, familiar smile that I had missed so much. I felt the answering smile spread across my face.

Still sitting, she pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around my waist. I rested my head on top of her.

"I've really missed you, Honeymaren," I admitted. Running my fingers through her hair.

"Me, too," She said, and I could hear the wide smile in his voice. "More than you know." She gently pushed me back to look at my face. Her eyes were happy and clear, free from all the angry bitterness. "Will you come back soon?"

"As soon as I can," I promised.

And she pulled me back into another hug.